The Straight Razor Cabaret Lyrics

	In a café
	On the Champs-Élysées
	I saw a girl the other day
	I was beguiled
	'Til I saw her smile
	It was a gash across her face
	Not long ago, she found that she was alone
	So she wandered into the vaudeville show
	She should've known it'd be bad,
	She saw the name that it had:
	The Straight Razor Cabaret
	The first act was a stripper
	And the host looked like Jack the Ripper
	But the audience was dreary
	So he slashed them smiles from ear to ear
	He used a straight razor,
	'Cause he's a face-raper
	And there's nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	And if he tells a joke,
	You better laugh 'til you choke
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	When I went down to Camden Town
	I saw a man reading the Bible
	I won't in haste describe his face
	For I might be sued for libel
	Not long ago, he found that he was alone
	So he wandered into the vaudeville show
	He should've known he'd be maimed
	When he discovered the name:
	The Straight Razor Cabaret
	While a strumpet stroked a donkey
	The host juggled five dead monkeys
	But the audience was snobs
	So he took a knife right to their gobs
	He used a straight razor,
	'Cause he's a face-raper
	And there's nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	And if he does a trick
	You better laugh until you're sick
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	They call him straight razor
	'Cause he's a face-raper,
	And there's nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	If he pulls a gaffe
	You better bloody up and laugh,
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret

	In a cafe
	On the ChampsÉ lyse es
	I saw a girl the other day
	I was beguiled
	' Til I saw her smile
	It was a gash across her face
	Not long ago, she found that she was alone
	So she wandered into the vaudeville show
	She should' ve known it' d be bad,
	She saw the name that it had:
	The Straight Razor Cabaret
	The first act was a stripper
	And the host looked like Jack the Ripper
	But the audience was dreary
	So he slashed them smiles from ear to ear
	He used a straight razor,
	' Cause he' s a faceraper
	And there' s nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	And if he tells a joke,
	You better laugh ' til you choke
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	When I went down to Camden Town
	I saw a man reading the Bible
	I won' t in haste describe his face
	For I might be sued for libel
	Not long ago, he found that he was alone
	So he wandered into the vaudeville show
	He should' ve known he' d be maimed
	When he discovered the name:
	The Straight Razor Cabaret
	While a strumpet stroked a donkey
	The host juggled five dead monkeys
	But the audience was snobs
	So he took a knife right to their gobs
	He used a straight razor,
	' Cause he' s a faceraper
	And there' s nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	And if he does a trick
	You better laugh until you' re sick
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	They call him straight razor
	' Cause he' s a faceraper,
	And there' s nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	If he pulls a gaffe
	You better bloody up and laugh,
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret

	In a café
	On the ChampsÉ lysé es
	I saw a girl the other day
	I was beguiled
	' Til I saw her smile
	It was a gash across her face
	Not long ago, she found that she was alone
	So she wandered into the vaudeville show
	She should' ve known it' d be bad,
	She saw the name that it had:
	The Straight Razor Cabaret
	The first act was a stripper
	And the host looked like Jack the Ripper
	But the audience was dreary
	So he slashed them smiles from ear to ear
	He used a straight razor,
	' Cause he' s a faceraper
	And there' s nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	And if he tells a joke,
	You better laugh ' til you choke
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	When I went down to Camden Town
	I saw a man reading the Bible
	I won' t in haste describe his face
	For I might be sued for libel
	Not long ago, he found that he was alone
	So he wandered into the vaudeville show
	He should' ve known he' d be maimed
	When he discovered the name:
	The Straight Razor Cabaret
	While a strumpet stroked a donkey
	The host juggled five dead monkeys
	But the audience was snobs
	So he took a knife right to their gobs
	He used a straight razor,
	' Cause he' s a faceraper
	And there' s nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	And if he does a trick
	You better laugh until you' re sick
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	They call him straight razor
	' Cause he' s a faceraper,
	And there' s nothing he hates more
	Than a stick in the mud
	If he pulls a gaffe
	You better bloody up and laugh,
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret
	At the Straight Razor Cabaret

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