Albert Hammond Bootleg Lyrics
| Song | Albert Hammond Bootleg |
| Artist | Half Man Half Biscuit |
| Album | ACD |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| Dragging my guitar round maternity ward | |
| I was in search of the umbilical chord | |
| But it was all in vain so I jumped on a train | |
| And when I reached my home the kids were on the patio | |
| Looking quite upset, so I asked them what was wrong | |
| And they said: “Beware, there’s an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house in there | |
| An Albert Hammond bootleg in the house | |
| Some man who introduced himself as Stanley Rous came in | |
| And left this Albert Hammond bootleg in the house” | |
| Talking to a girl on the south coast of France | |
| She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance | |
| But on the last night ‘neath the stars of Marseilles | |
| She said that Robin Askwith was funny | |
| Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave | |
| So I could surf myself towards an early grave | |
| I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you | |
| I hope your plane back home’s a DC10 | |
| Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave | |
| So I could surf myself towards an early grave | |
| I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you | |
| I hope your plane back home’s a DC10 | |
| Oh-oh-oh oh-oh | |
| Oh-oh-oh oh-oh | |
| Oh-oh-oh oh-oh | |
| Oh-oh-oh oh-oh | |
| Oh-oh-oh oh-oh | |
| Oh-oh-oh oh-oh | |
| Oh-oh-oh oh-oh really | |
| Out of pure curiosity I dug up Logie Baird | |
| And I asked him what petrified forests see | |
| To make them all so scared |
| Dragging my guitar round maternity ward | |
| I was in search of the umbilical chord | |
| But it was all in vain so I jumped on a train | |
| And when I reached my home the kids were on the patio | |
| Looking quite upset, so I asked them what was wrong | |
| And they said: " Beware, there' s an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house in there | |
| An Albert Hammond bootleg in the house | |
| Some man who introduced himself as Stanley Rous came in | |
| And left this Albert Hammond bootleg in the house" | |
| Talking to a girl on the south coast of France | |
| She was on an 1830 but I still took a chance | |
| But on the last night ' neath the stars of Marseilles | |
| She said that Robin Askwith was funny | |
| Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave | |
| So I could surf myself towards an early grave | |
| I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you | |
| I hope your plane back home' s a DC10 | |
| Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave | |
| So I could surf myself towards an early grave | |
| I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you | |
| I hope your plane back home' s a DC10 | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh really | |
| Out of pure curiosity I dug up Logie Baird | |
| And I asked him what petrified forests see | |
| To make them all so scared |
| Dragging my guitar round maternity ward | |
| I was in search of the umbilical chord | |
| But it was all in vain so I jumped on a train | |
| And when I reached my home the kids were on the patio | |
| Looking quite upset, so I asked them what was wrong | |
| And they said: " Beware, there' s an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house in there | |
| An Albert Hammond bootleg in the house | |
| Some man who introduced himself as Stanley Rous came in | |
| And left this Albert Hammond bootleg in the house" | |
| Talking to a girl on the south coast of France | |
| She was on an 1830 but I still took a chance | |
| But on the last night ' neath the stars of Marseilles | |
| She said that Robin Askwith was funny | |
| Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave | |
| So I could surf myself towards an early grave | |
| I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you | |
| I hope your plane back home' s a DC10 | |
| Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave | |
| So I could surf myself towards an early grave | |
| I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you | |
| I hope your plane back home' s a DC10 | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh | |
| Ohohoh ohoh really | |
| Out of pure curiosity I dug up Logie Baird | |
| And I asked him what petrified forests see | |
| To make them all so scared |
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