| Song | Arthur's Farm |
| Artist | Half Man Half Biscuit |
| Album | ACD |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| Arthur Askey and Dougie-Wougie Bader | |
| Went down to the Animal Farm. | |
| Dougie bored a boar, | |
| With his stories from the war. | |
| And explained about the boil on his palm. | |
| Napoleon, very pink, offered both of them a drink, | |
| And a drink and a drink and a drink. | |
| Come the hour of four, they were legless to be sure, | |
| Not one of them had even had a wink, | |
| Of sleep. | |
| Everybody sang as loud as they could, | |
| "Two legs bad, but four legs good!" | |
| This made the boys feel pretty oppressed. | |
| Came the new realm, it was A. A. at the Helm", | |
| While Dougers played ‘Luftwaffe’ on the roofs | |
| After amputating limbs all the others wrote new hymns | |
| And a signpost read ‘Second-hand hooves’. | |
| Years passed by, double grazing in the sty | |
| It was good, but it was total apathy | |
| Everybody arsed around | |
| As the Beast of England Sound, | |
| Had been ruined by a busy busy bee! | |
| And chants were heard from the East to the West, | |
| "Four legs good, but no legs best!" | |
| Invalidity reigned supreme. | |
| And shouts were heard from the East to the West, | |
| "Four legs good, but no legs best!" | |
| One-time visitors were now the regime |
| Arthur Askey and DougieWougie Bader | |
| Went down to the Animal Farm. | |
| Dougie bored a boar, | |
| With his stories from the war. | |
| And explained about the boil on his palm. | |
| Napoleon, very pink, offered both of them a drink, | |
| And a drink and a drink and a drink. | |
| Come the hour of four, they were legless to be sure, | |
| Not one of them had even had a wink, | |
| Of sleep. | |
| Everybody sang as loud as they could, | |
| " Two legs bad, but four legs good!" | |
| This made the boys feel pretty oppressed. | |
| Came the new realm, it was A. A. at the Helm", | |
| While Dougers played ' Luftwaffe' on the roofs | |
| After amputating limbs all the others wrote new hymns | |
| And a signpost read ' Secondhand hooves'. | |
| Years passed by, double grazing in the sty | |
| It was good, but it was total apathy | |
| Everybody arsed around | |
| As the Beast of England Sound, | |
| Had been ruined by a busy busy bee! | |
| And chants were heard from the East to the West, | |
| " Four legs good, but no legs best!" | |
| Invalidity reigned supreme. | |
| And shouts were heard from the East to the West, | |
| " Four legs good, but no legs best!" | |
| Onetime visitors were now the regime |
| Arthur Askey and DougieWougie Bader | |
| Went down to the Animal Farm. | |
| Dougie bored a boar, | |
| With his stories from the war. | |
| And explained about the boil on his palm. | |
| Napoleon, very pink, offered both of them a drink, | |
| And a drink and a drink and a drink. | |
| Come the hour of four, they were legless to be sure, | |
| Not one of them had even had a wink, | |
| Of sleep. | |
| Everybody sang as loud as they could, | |
| " Two legs bad, but four legs good!" | |
| This made the boys feel pretty oppressed. | |
| Came the new realm, it was A. A. at the Helm", | |
| While Dougers played ' Luftwaffe' on the roofs | |
| After amputating limbs all the others wrote new hymns | |
| And a signpost read ' Secondhand hooves'. | |
| Years passed by, double grazing in the sty | |
| It was good, but it was total apathy | |
| Everybody arsed around | |
| As the Beast of England Sound, | |
| Had been ruined by a busy busy bee! | |
| And chants were heard from the East to the West, | |
| " Four legs good, but no legs best!" | |
| Invalidity reigned supreme. | |
| And shouts were heard from the East to the West, | |
| " Four legs good, but no legs best!" | |
| Onetime visitors were now the regime |