Twydale's Lament Lyrics
| Song | Twydale's Lament |
| Artist | Half Man Half Biscuit |
| Album | Achtung Bono |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| Indicate then you stupid bastard | |
| How was I supposed to know | |
| That you intended to go left | |
| I’m not a mind reader | |
| You shall be cast away into the fiery pit | |
| And in the fiery pit there are | |
| Eternal sleeping policemen | |
| I saw a young professional couple playing Poohsticks on a Cotswold bridge | |
| I watched them walk along the banks of the Windrush eating jasmine ice cream | |
| Before heading north to Warwick Arts Centre and Marianne Faithfull | |
| Splendid | |
| I picked up all the elastic bands dropped by the postman on my driveway | |
| And took them up to the pub on a Thursday evening | |
| As that’s where he likes to go for the quiz | |
| He believes he is needed for the music round | |
| His friends obviously humour him | |
| Anyway, I place myself at a nearby table | |
| And whenever he tries to light up a cigarette | |
| I fire it out of his mouth with one of the elastic bands | |
| Which he finds most annoying | |
| Most annoying | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I’ll be happy | |
| When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I’ll be happy | |
| When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I’ll be happy | |
| When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I’ll be happy | |
| When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I’ll be happy | |
| When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I’ll be happy… |
| Indicate then you stupid bastard | |
| How was I supposed to know | |
| That you intended to go left | |
| I' m not a mind reader | |
| You shall be cast away into the fiery pit | |
| And in the fiery pit there are | |
| Eternal sleeping policemen | |
| I saw a young professional couple playing Poohsticks on a Cotswold bridge | |
| I watched them walk along the banks of the Windrush eating jasmine ice cream | |
| Before heading north to Warwick Arts Centre and Marianne Faithfull | |
| Splendid | |
| I picked up all the elastic bands dropped by the postman on my driveway | |
| And took them up to the pub on a Thursday evening | |
| As that' s where he likes to go for the quiz | |
| He believes he is needed for the music round | |
| His friends obviously humour him | |
| Anyway, I place myself at a nearby table | |
| And whenever he tries to light up a cigarette | |
| I fire it out of his mouth with one of the elastic bands | |
| Which he finds most annoying | |
| Most annoying | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy |
| Indicate then you stupid bastard | |
| How was I supposed to know | |
| That you intended to go left | |
| I' m not a mind reader | |
| You shall be cast away into the fiery pit | |
| And in the fiery pit there are | |
| Eternal sleeping policemen | |
| I saw a young professional couple playing Poohsticks on a Cotswold bridge | |
| I watched them walk along the banks of the Windrush eating jasmine ice cream | |
| Before heading north to Warwick Arts Centre and Marianne Faithfull | |
| Splendid | |
| I picked up all the elastic bands dropped by the postman on my driveway | |
| And took them up to the pub on a Thursday evening | |
| As that' s where he likes to go for the quiz | |
| He believes he is needed for the music round | |
| His friends obviously humour him | |
| Anyway, I place myself at a nearby table | |
| And whenever he tries to light up a cigarette | |
| I fire it out of his mouth with one of the elastic bands | |
| Which he finds most annoying | |
| Most annoying | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy | |
| When you' ve been arrested for defacing the bridge | |
| Gouranga Gouranga | |
| Yes I' ll be happy |
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