| Song | Sports Song |
| Artist | Weird Al Yankovic |
| Album | Mandatory Fun |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| Your sports team is vastly inferior | |
| That simple fact is plainly obvious to see | |
| We’re gonna kick your collective posterior | |
| Of course you realize we’re speaking figuratively | |
| Our stats are thoroughly impressive | |
| Our coach really has the Midas touch | |
| Our players are fast and strong and brave | |
| And your guys, eh, not so much | |
| In fact we’ve played teams across the nation | |
| And you’re the worst one we’ve come across | |
| Try to assimilate that information | |
| And it just might help you cope with your impending loss | |
| Oh, and if somehow we are still failing | |
| To affectively articulate the points at hand | |
| Allow us now to summarize them in a manner | |
| That your feeble brains can understand | |
| We’re great (we’re great) | |
| And you suck (you suck) | |
| We’re great (we’re great) | |
| And you suck (you suck) | |
| We’re great (we’re great) | |
| And you suck (you suck) | |
| You see there’s us (we’re great) | |
| And then there’s you (you suck) | |
| We’re really, really great (really great) | |
| In contrast, you really suck (really suck) | |
| Okay, full disclosure, we’re not that great | |
| But nevertheless, you suck | |
| Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat | |
| That theory’s backed up by empirical evidence | |
| We’re gonna grind up your guys into burger meat | |
| Again, of course, we’re speaking in the figurative sense | |
| What’s the use of even going through the motions | |
| When you know that you’re gonna lose anyhow | |
| So why don’t you save us all some time | |
| And give up now (you suck!) |
| Your sports team is vastly inferior | |
| That simple fact is plainly obvious to see | |
| We' re gonna kick your collective posterior | |
| Of course you realize we' re speaking figuratively | |
| Our stats are thoroughly impressive | |
| Our coach really has the Midas touch | |
| Our players are fast and strong and brave | |
| And your guys, eh, not so much | |
| In fact we' ve played teams across the nation | |
| And you' re the worst one we' ve come across | |
| Try to assimilate that information | |
| And it just might help you cope with your impending loss | |
| Oh, and if somehow we are still failing | |
| To affectively articulate the points at hand | |
| Allow us now to summarize them in a manner | |
| That your feeble brains can understand | |
| We' re great we' re great | |
| And you suck you suck | |
| We' re great we' re great | |
| And you suck you suck | |
| We' re great we' re great | |
| And you suck you suck | |
| You see there' s us we' re great | |
| And then there' s you you suck | |
| We' re really, really great really great | |
| In contrast, you really suck really suck | |
| Okay, full disclosure, we' re not that great | |
| But nevertheless, you suck | |
| Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat | |
| That theory' s backed up by empirical evidence | |
| We' re gonna grind up your guys into burger meat | |
| Again, of course, we' re speaking in the figurative sense | |
| What' s the use of even going through the motions | |
| When you know that you' re gonna lose anyhow | |
| So why don' t you save us all some time | |
| And give up now you suck! |
| Your sports team is vastly inferior | |
| That simple fact is plainly obvious to see | |
| We' re gonna kick your collective posterior | |
| Of course you realize we' re speaking figuratively | |
| Our stats are thoroughly impressive | |
| Our coach really has the Midas touch | |
| Our players are fast and strong and brave | |
| And your guys, eh, not so much | |
| In fact we' ve played teams across the nation | |
| And you' re the worst one we' ve come across | |
| Try to assimilate that information | |
| And it just might help you cope with your impending loss | |
| Oh, and if somehow we are still failing | |
| To affectively articulate the points at hand | |
| Allow us now to summarize them in a manner | |
| That your feeble brains can understand | |
| We' re great we' re great | |
| And you suck you suck | |
| We' re great we' re great | |
| And you suck you suck | |
| We' re great we' re great | |
| And you suck you suck | |
| You see there' s us we' re great | |
| And then there' s you you suck | |
| We' re really, really great really great | |
| In contrast, you really suck really suck | |
| Okay, full disclosure, we' re not that great | |
| But nevertheless, you suck | |
| Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat | |
| That theory' s backed up by empirical evidence | |
| We' re gonna grind up your guys into burger meat | |
| Again, of course, we' re speaking in the figurative sense | |
| What' s the use of even going through the motions | |
| When you know that you' re gonna lose anyhow | |
| So why don' t you save us all some time | |
| And give up now you suck! |