che zai jiong tu 2012. 5. 1 " yue lai yue bang" 2012 yue yun peng xiang sheng zhuan chang

车在囧途(2012.5.1 “岳来越棒”2012岳云鹏相声专场)
che zai jiong tu 2012. 5. 1 " yue lai yue bang" 2012 yue yun peng xiang sheng zhuan chang Lyrics

Song 车在囧途(2012.5.1 “岳来越棒”2012岳云鹏相声专场)
Artist 岳云鹏
Album 岳云鹏相声集
Download Image LRC TXT
[00:00.00] 观众:小岳岳~岳岳~
[00:09.00] 岳:谢谢、谢谢
[00:14.00] 岳:朋友们的掌声非常的热烈,我们的心情十分的高兴
[00:20.00] 岳:刚才说了这么几段节目,掌……掌声热烈,特别激动、特别激动
[00:29.00] 岳:哎呀,这是我第三次出台,按说呢...
[00:34.00] 孙:都是我送的
[00:36.00] 岳:第三次出现在舞台上,依然是很高兴,依然是很激动。
[00:41.00] 岳:头一个说得是我自己的事,第二个呢关于唱戏的这个节目
[00:46.00] 孙:腿子活
[00:47.00] 岳:这场呢,咱说点他的事
[00:49.00] 孙:怎么说我的事,我能有什么事啊
[00:51.00] 岳:有事,孙越孙老师
[00:52.00] 孙:我还有事
[00:52.30] 岳:其实呢,他是一个有钱人
[00:55.00] 孙:您说这干嘛呀
[00:57.00] 岳:家大业大,什么都有,有一辆汽车
[01:00.30] 孙:有车呀
[01:01.00] 岳:最值得一提的就是他的汽车
[01:02.00] 孙:车好呗
[01:04.00] 岳:七手的奥拓
[01:11.00] 孙:...您等会,您等会吧。我听着都新鲜啦,
[01:14.00] 岳:怎么啦
[01:15.00] 孙:我这,七手不七手我不管,您识数吗?
[01:17.00] 岳:识数啊
[01:18.00] 孙:您再比划一个我瞧瞧
[01:22.00] 岳:(比划)
[01:26.00] 孙:这是7,您9
[01:30.00] 岳:这是9
[01:31.00] 孙:你比划的9
[01:33.00] 岳:这是7,77
[01:40.00] 孙:诶,行啦,双手还都有毛病
[01:43.00] 岳:有一辆七手的奥拓
[01:45.00] 孙:瞧这破车
[01:46.00] 岳:车牌照清A的
[01:50.00] 孙:霍,青海的牌子啊
[01:52.00] 岳:清朝的牌子
[01:53.00] 孙:诶,对...清朝的牌子
[01:56.00] 岳:对
[01:59.00] 孙:哎哟,还清A
[01:59.30] 岳:嗯
[02:00.00] 孙:那清朝要有汽车,皇上让八国联军撵着啊
[02:04.00] 岳:八国联军开的是民A的
[02:08.00] 孙:哦,民A
[02:09.00] 岳:知道隋A吗?
[02:11.00] 孙:隋朝呗
[02:13.00] 岳:秦A
[02:14.00] 孙:秦朝啊
[02:14.30] 岳:女娲A
[02:15.00] 孙:嗯?
[02:16.00] 岳:盘古A。什么都不懂。知道秦B吗?
[02:23.00] 孙:秦币蒙不了我
[02:24.00] 岳:嗯?
[02:25.00] 孙:脑筋急转弯,秦币啊,秦始皇时候的钱币
[02:30.00] 岳:不对
[02:31.00] 孙:什么呀
[02:31.30] 岳:秦始皇那会的出租车
[02:32.00] 孙:诶...我听着都新鲜我
[02:39.00] 岳:B么,知道秦O吗
[02:43.00] 孙:秦O
[02:44.00] 岳:啊
[02:45.00] 孙:不知道
[02:45.30] 岳:秦始皇那时候的警车呀
[02:49.00] 孙:您这别胡说行吗
[02:50.00] 岳:什么都不懂
[02:51.00] 孙:尽是胡编了
[02:52.00] 岳:快过年了,开着七手的奥拓
[02:55.00] 孙:去年的事
[02:56.00] 岳:准备走亲戚
[02:57.00] 孙:过年都得走亲戚啊我
[02:58.00] 岳:带着自己的媳妇儿,轩然
[02:59.00] 孙:哦
[03:02.00] 岳:跟自己父母喃说一说
[03:08.00] 孙:我媳妇儿叫轩然是吗?
[03:11.00] 岳:对
[03:12.00] 孙:怎么起这么个肉头的名字啊
[03:16.00] 岳:你丈母娘起的
[03:17.00] 孙:哦,我丈母娘起的,我丈母娘叫什么呀
[03:20.00] 岳:有容
[03:28.00] 孙:我老丈干子呢
[03:29.00] 岳:波霸
[03:33.00] 孙:没听说过,什么叫波霸啊
[03:35.00] 岳:就轩然嘛
[03:36.00] 孙:好好的啊
[03:37.00] 岳:他媳妇叫轩然,带着自己的媳妇轩然,跟自己的爹娘告别
[03:42.00] 孙:我死去是怎么着啊?
[03:44.00] 岳:什么叫死去?
[03:45.00] 孙:什么叫告别啊?
[03:46.00] 岳:说声再见
[03:47.00] 孙:干嘛呀?
[03:48.00] 岳:走亲戚呀
[03:50.00] 孙:那话别这么说
[03:51.00] 岳:跟自己的爹娘说一声
[03:53.00] 孙:打个招呼
[03:54.00] 岳:上石家庄找自己的后爹去。一切都安排妥当
[03:58.00] 孙:没,不妥当。我跟我父母告完别
[04:02.00] 岳:嗯。
[04:03.00] 孙:我上石家庄看我后爹去?
[04:07.00] 岳:对
[04:08.00] 孙:那我家里这个算什么呀?
[04:11.00] 岳:哎呀,我忘了说了,
[04:12.00] 孙:这么乱呢?
[04:13.00] 岳:是这样啊,他的父亲跟他的母亲结婚的时候,玩了个游戏叫捉迷藏。
[04:18.00] 孙:这叫什么游戏呀,这叫
[04:20.00] 岳:捉迷藏。 孙:哎呀。 岳:你父亲藏起来了。你母亲找了三天没找着,就改嫁了。
[04:26.00] 孙:我妈就等三天,您瞧见了么
[04:27.00] 岳:后来你这个父亲就流落到石家庄。家里、北京这个是亲妈和后爹。石家庄是亲爹和后妈。
[04:34.00] 孙:哦,这两处还真乱啊
[04:38.00] 岳:啊~跟自己的爹娘告别。上石家庄找自己的后爹去。开着七手的奥拓很高兴啊。
[04:46.00] 孙:这还高兴呢?
[04:47.00] 岳:诶~一路西去
[04:49.00] 孙:哎嘿~那不就死去了吗
[04:53.00] 岳:我说死了吗?
[04:54.00] 孙:什么叫西去
[04:55.00] 岳:往西走。
[04:56.00] 孙:往西行。知道吗?
[04:57.00] 岳:然后再往南。
[00:00.00] guan zhong: xiao yue yue yue yue
[00:09.00] yue: xie xie xie xie
[00:14.00] yue: peng you men de zhang sheng fei chang de re lie, wo men de xin qing shi fen de gao xing
[00:20.00] yue: gang cai shuo le zhe me ji duan jie mu, zhang zhang sheng re lie, te bie ji dong te bie ji dong
[00:29.00] yue: ai ya, zhe shi wo di san ci chu tai, an shuo ne...
[00:34.00] sun: dou shi wo song de
[00:36.00] yue: di san ci chu xian zai wu tai shang, yi ran shi hen gao xing, yi ran shi hen ji dong.
[00:41.00] yue: tou yi ge shuo de shi wo zi ji de shi, di er ge ne guan yu chang xi de zhe ge jie mu
[00:46.00] sun: tui zi huo
[00:47.00] yue: zhe chang ne, zan shuo dian ta de shi
[00:49.00] sun: zen me shuo wo de shi, wo neng you shen me shi a
[00:51.00] yue: you shi, sun yue sun lao shi
[00:52.00] sun: wo hai you shi
[00:52.30] yue: qi shi ne, ta shi yi ge you qian ren
[00:55.00] sun: nin shuo zhe gan ma ya
[00:57.00] yue: jia da ye da, shen me dou you, you yi liang qi che
[01:00.30] sun: you che ya
[01:01.00] yue: zui zhi de yi ti de jiu shi ta de qi che
[01:02.00] sun: che hao bei
[01:04.00] yue: qi shou de ao ta
[01:11.00] sun:... nin deng hui, nin deng hui ba. wo ting zhe dou xin xian la,
[01:14.00] yue: zen me la
[01:15.00] sun: wo zhe, qi shou bu qi shou wo bu guan, nin shi shu ma?
[01:17.00] yue: shi shu a
[01:18.00] sun: nin zai bi hua yi ge wo qiao qiao
[01:22.00] yue: bi hua
[01:26.00] sun: zhe shi 7, nin 9
[01:30.00] yue: zhe shi 9
[01:31.00] sun: ni bi hua de 9
[01:33.00] yue: zhe shi 7, 77
[01:40.00] sun: ei, xing la, shuang shou hai dou you mao bing
[01:43.00] yue: you yi liang qi shou de ao ta
[01:45.00] sun: qiao zhe po che
[01:46.00] yue: che pai zhao qing A de
[01:50.00] sun: huo, qing hai de pai zi a
[01:52.00] yue: qing chao de pai zi
[01:53.00] sun: ei, dui... qing chao de pai zi
[01:56.00] yue: dui
[01:59.00] sun: ai yo, huan qing A
[01:59.30] yue:
[02:00.00] sun: na qing chao yao you qi che, huang shang rang ba guo lian jun nian zhe a
[02:04.00] yue: ba guo lian jun kai de shi min A de
[02:08.00] sun: o, min A
[02:09.00] yue: zhi dao sui A ma?
[02:11.00] sun: sui chao bei
[02:13.00] yue: qin A
[02:14.00] sun: qin chao a
[02:14.30] yue: nv wa A
[02:15.00] sun: ?
[02:16.00] yue: pan gu A. shen me dou bu dong. zhi dao qin B ma?
[02:23.00] sun: qin bi meng bu liao wo
[02:24.00] yue: ?
[02:25.00] sun: nao jin ji zhuan wan, qin bi a, qin shi huang shi hou de qian bi
[02:30.00] yue: bu dui
[02:31.00] sun: shen me ya
[02:31.30] yue: qin shi huang na hui de chu zu che
[02:32.00] sun: ei... wo ting zhe dou xin xian wo
[02:39.00] yue: B me, zhi dao qin O ma
[02:43.00] sun: qin O
[02:44.00] yue: a
[02:45.00] sun: bu zhi dao
[02:45.30] yue: qin shi huang na shi hou de jing che ya
[02:49.00] sun: nin zhe bie hu shuo xing ma
[02:50.00] yue: shen me dou bu dong
[02:51.00] sun: jin shi hu bian le
[02:52.00] yue: kuai guo nian le, kai zhe qi shou de ao ta
[02:55.00] sun: qu nian de shi
[02:56.00] yue: zhun bei zou qin qi
[02:57.00] sun: guo nian dou de zou qin qi a wo
[02:58.00] yue: dai zhe zi ji de xi fu er, xuan ran
[02:59.00] sun: o
[03:02.00] yue: gen zi ji fu mu nan shuo yi shuo
[03:08.00] sun: wo xi fu er jiao xuan ran shi ma?
[03:11.00] yue: dui
[03:12.00] sun: zen me qi zhe me ge rou tou de ming zi a
[03:16.00] yue: ni zhang mu niang qi de
[03:17.00] sun: o, wo zhang mu niang qi de, wo zhang mu niang jiao shen me ya
[03:20.00] yue: you rong
[03:28.00] sun: wo lao zhang gan zi ne
[03:29.00] yue: bo ba
[03:33.00] sun: mei ting shuo guo, shen me jiao bo ba a
[03:35.00] yue: jiu xuan ran ma
[03:36.00] sun: hao hao de a
[03:37.00] yue: ta xi fu jiao xuan ran, dai zhe zi ji de xi fu xuan ran, gen zi ji de die niang gao bie
[03:42.00] sun: wo si qu shi zen me zhao a?
[03:44.00] yue: shen me jiao si qu?
[03:45.00] sun: shen me jiao gao bie a?
[03:46.00] yue: shuo sheng zai jian
[03:47.00] sun: gan ma ya?
[03:48.00] yue: zou qin qi ya
[03:50.00] sun: na hua bie zhe me shuo
[03:51.00] yue: gen zi ji de die niang shuo yi sheng
[03:53.00] sun: da ge zhao hu
[03:54.00] yue: shang shi jia zhuang zhao zi ji de hou die qu. yi qie dou an pai tuo dang
[03:58.00] sun: mei, bu tuo dang. wo gen wo fu mu gao wan bie
[04:02.00] yue: .
[04:03.00] sun: wo shang shi jia zhuang kan wo hou die qu?
[04:07.00] yue: dui
[04:08.00] sun: na wo jia li zhe ge suan shen me ya?
[04:11.00] yue: ai ya, wo wang le shuo le,
[04:12.00] sun: zhe me luan ne?
[04:13.00] yue: shi zhe yang a, ta de fu qin gen ta de mu qin jie hun de shi hou, wan le ge you xi jiao zhuo mi cang.
[04:18.00] sun: zhe jiao shen me you xi ya, zhe jiao
[04:20.00] yue: zhuo mi cang. sun: ai ya. yue: ni fu qin cang qi lai le. ni mu qin zhao le san tian mei zhao zhao, jiu gai jia le.
[04:26.00] sun: wo ma jiu deng san tian, nin qiao jian le me
[04:27.00] yue: hou lai ni zhe ge fu qin jiu liu luo dao shi jia zhuang. jia li bei jing zhe ge shi qin ma he hou die. shi jia zhuang shi qin die he hou ma.
[04:34.00] sun: o, zhe liang chu hai zhen luan a
[04:38.00] yue: a gen zi ji de die niang gao bie. shang shi jia zhuang zhao zi ji de hou die qu. kai zhe qi shou de ao ta hen gao xing a.
[04:46.00] sun: zhe hai gao xing ne?
[04:47.00] yue: ei yi lu xi qu
[04:49.00] sun: ai hei na bu jiu si qu le ma
[04:53.00] yue: wo shuo si le ma?
[04:54.00] sun: shen me jiao xi qu
[04:55.00] yue: wang xi zou.
[04:56.00] sun: wang xi xing. zhi dao ma?
[04:57.00] yue: ran hou zai wang nan.
[00:00.00] guān zhòng: xiǎo yuè yuè yuè yuè
[00:09.00] yuè: xiè xiè xiè xiè
[00:14.00] yuè: péng yǒu men de zhǎng shēng fēi cháng de rè liè, wǒ men de xīn qíng shí fēn de gāo xìng
[00:20.00] yuè: gāng cái shuō le zhè me jǐ duàn jié mù, zhǎng zhǎng shēng rè liè, tè bié jī dòng tè bié jī dòng
[00:29.00] yuè: āi yā, zhè shì wǒ dì sān cì chū tái, àn shuō ne...
[00:34.00] sūn: dōu shì wǒ sòng de
[00:36.00] yuè: dì sān cì chū xiàn zài wǔ tái shàng, yī rán shì hěn gāo xìng, yī rán shì hěn jī dòng.
[00:41.00] yuè: tóu yí gè shuō de shì wǒ zì jǐ de shì, dì èr gè ne guān yú chàng xì de zhè gè jié mù
[00:46.00] sūn: tuǐ zǐ huó
[00:47.00] yuè: zhè chǎng ne, zán shuō diǎn tā de shì
[00:49.00] sūn: zěn me shuō wǒ de shì, wǒ néng yǒu shén me shì a
[00:51.00] yuè: yǒu shì, sūn yuè sūn lǎo shī
[00:52.00] sūn: wǒ hái yǒu shì
[00:52.30] yuè: qí shí ne, tā shì yí gè yǒu qián rén
[00:55.00] sūn: nín shuō zhè gàn ma ya
[00:57.00] yuè: jiā dà yè dà, shén me dōu yǒu, yǒu yī liàng qì chē
[01:00.30] sūn: yǒu chē ya
[01:01.00] yuè: zuì zhí de yī tí de jiù shì tā de qì chē
[01:02.00] sūn: chē hǎo bei
[01:04.00] yuè: qī shǒu de ào tà
[01:11.00] sūn:... nín děng huì, nín děng huì ba. wǒ tīng zhe dōu xīn xiān la,
[01:14.00] yuè: zěn me la
[01:15.00] sūn: wǒ zhè, qī shǒu bù qī shǒu wǒ bù guǎn, nín shí shù ma?
[01:17.00] yuè: shí shù a
[01:18.00] sūn: nín zài bǐ huà yí gè wǒ qiáo qiáo
[01:22.00] yuè: bǐ huà
[01:26.00] sūn: zhè shì 7, nín 9
[01:30.00] yuè: zhè shì 9
[01:31.00] sūn: nǐ bǐ huà de 9
[01:33.00] yuè: zhè shì 7, 77
[01:40.00] sūn: éi, xíng la, shuāng shǒu hái dōu yǒu máo bìng
[01:43.00] yuè: yǒu yī liàng qī shǒu de ào tà
[01:45.00] sūn: qiáo zhè pò chē
[01:46.00] yuè: chē pái zhào qīng A de
[01:50.00] sūn: huò, qīng hǎi de pái zi a
[01:52.00] yuè: qīng cháo de pái zi
[01:53.00] sūn: éi, duì... qīng cháo de pái zi
[01:56.00] yuè: duì
[01:59.00] sūn: āi yō, huán qīng A
[01:59.30] yuè:
[02:00.00] sūn: nà qīng cháo yào yǒu qì chē, huáng shàng ràng bā guó lián jūn niǎn zhe a
[02:04.00] yuè: bā guó lián jūn kāi de shì mín A de
[02:08.00] sūn: ó, mín A
[02:09.00] yuè: zhī dào suí A ma?
[02:11.00] sūn: suí cháo bei
[02:13.00] yuè: qín A
[02:14.00] sūn: qín cháo a
[02:14.30] yuè: nǚ wā A
[02:15.00] sūn: ?
[02:16.00] yuè: pán gǔ A. shén me dōu bù dǒng. zhī dào qín B ma?
[02:23.00] sūn: qín bì méng bù liǎo wǒ
[02:24.00] yuè: ?
[02:25.00] sūn: nǎo jīn jí zhuǎn wān, qín bì a, qín shǐ huáng shí hòu de qián bì
[02:30.00] yuè: bú duì
[02:31.00] sūn: shén me ya
[02:31.30] yuè: qín shǐ huáng nà huì de chū zū chē
[02:32.00] sūn: éi... wǒ tīng zhe dōu xīn xiān wǒ
[02:39.00] yuè: B me, zhī dào qín O ma
[02:43.00] sūn: qín O
[02:44.00] yuè: a
[02:45.00] sūn: bù zhī dào
[02:45.30] yuè: qín shǐ huáng nà shí hou de jǐng chē ya
[02:49.00] sūn: nín zhè bié hú shuō xíng ma
[02:50.00] yuè: shén me dōu bù dǒng
[02:51.00] sūn: jìn shì hú biān le
[02:52.00] yuè: kuài guò nián le, kāi zhe qī shǒu de ào tà
[02:55.00] sūn: qù nián de shì
[02:56.00] yuè: zhǔn bèi zǒu qīn qī
[02:57.00] sūn: guò nián dōu dé zǒu qīn qī a wǒ
[02:58.00] yuè: dài zhe zì jǐ de xí fù ér, xuān rán
[02:59.00] sūn: ó
[03:02.00] yuè: gēn zì jǐ fù mǔ nán shuō yī shuō
[03:08.00] sūn: wǒ xí fù ér jiào xuān rán shì ma?
[03:11.00] yuè: duì
[03:12.00] sūn: zěn me qǐ zhè me gè ròu tóu de míng zì a
[03:16.00] yuè: nǐ zhàng mǔ niáng qǐ de
[03:17.00] sūn: ó, wǒ zhàng mǔ niáng qǐ de, wǒ zhàng mǔ niáng jiào shén me ya
[03:20.00] yuè: yǒu róng
[03:28.00] sūn: wǒ lǎo zhàng gàn zǐ ne
[03:29.00] yuè: bō bà
[03:33.00] sūn: méi tīng shuō guò, shén me jiào bō bà a
[03:35.00] yuè: jiù xuān rán ma
[03:36.00] sūn: hǎo hǎo de a
[03:37.00] yuè: tā xí fù jiào xuān rán, dài zhe zì jǐ de xí fù xuān rán, gēn zì jǐ de diē niáng gào bié
[03:42.00] sūn: wǒ sǐ qù shì zěn me zhāo a?
[03:44.00] yuè: shén me jiào sǐ qù?
[03:45.00] sūn: shén me jiào gào bié a?
[03:46.00] yuè: shuō shēng zài jiàn
[03:47.00] sūn: gàn ma ya?
[03:48.00] yuè: zǒu qīn qī ya
[03:50.00] sūn: nà huà bié zhè me shuō
[03:51.00] yuè: gēn zì jǐ de diē niáng shuō yī shēng
[03:53.00] sūn: dǎ gè zhāo hū
[03:54.00] yuè: shàng shí jiā zhuāng zhǎo zì jǐ de hòu diē qù. yī qiè dōu ān pái tuǒ dàng
[03:58.00] sūn: méi, bù tuǒ dàng. wǒ gēn wǒ fù mǔ gào wán bié
[04:02.00] yuè: .
[04:03.00] sūn: wǒ shàng shí jiā zhuāng kàn wǒ hòu diē qù?
[04:07.00] yuè: duì
[04:08.00] sūn: nà wǒ jiā lǐ zhè gè suàn shén me ya?
[04:11.00] yuè: āi yā, wǒ wàng le shuō le,
[04:12.00] sūn: zhè me luàn ne?
[04:13.00] yuè: shì zhè yàng a, tā de fù qīn gēn tā de mǔ qīn jié hūn de shí hòu, wán le gè yóu xì jiào zhuō mí cáng.
[04:18.00] sūn: zhè jiào shén me yóu xì ya, zhè jiào
[04:20.00] yuè: zhuō mí cáng. sūn: āi yā. yuè: nǐ fù qīn cáng qǐ lái le. nǐ mǔ qīn zhǎo le sān tiān méi zhǎo zháo, jiù gǎi jià le.
[04:26.00] sūn: wǒ mā jiù děng sān tiān, nín qiáo jiàn le me
[04:27.00] yuè: hòu lái nǐ zhè gè fù qīn jiù liú luò dào shí jiā zhuāng. jiā lǐ běi jīng zhè gè shì qīn mā hé hòu diē. shí jiā zhuāng shì qīn diē hé hòu mā.
[04:34.00] sūn: ó, zhè liǎng chù hái zhēn luàn a
[04:38.00] yuè: a gēn zì jǐ de diē niáng gào bié. shàng shí jiā zhuāng zhǎo zì jǐ de hòu diē qù. kāi zhe qī shǒu de ào tà hěn gāo xìng a.
[04:46.00] sūn: zhè hái gāo xìng ne?
[04:47.00] yuè: éi yí lù xī qù
[04:49.00] sūn: āi hēi nà bù jiù sǐ qù le ma
[04:53.00] yuè: wǒ shuō sǐ le ma?
[04:54.00] sūn: shén me jiào xī qù
[04:55.00] yuè: wǎng xī zǒu.
[04:56.00] sūn: wǎng xī xíng. zhī dào ma?
[04:57.00] yuè: rán hòu zài wǎng nán.
车在囧途(2012.5.1 “岳来越棒”2012岳云鹏相声专场) che zai jiong tu 2012. 5. 1
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