| [00:01.200] | Okay, Ross, I-I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, |
| [00:05.444] | but.. Let me explain,okay? |
| [00:07.563] | We weren't doing anything! |
| [00:10.685] | Rach, he just saw us. |
| [00:11.728] | Shhh. |
| [00:16.335] | But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? |
| [00:19.040] | One kiss. |
| [00:19.770] | No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados. |
| [00:21.815] | (to Rachel): Dude, chill! |
| [00:25.781] | (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it,okay? |
| [00:29.639] | And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie. |
| [00:32.926] | Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill. |
| [00:38.962] | Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but.. |
| [00:45.512] | We feel so terrible about this, Ross. |
| [00:47.718] | Yeah, but it did happen, so... |
| [00:53.627] | (Ross looks shocked and says nothing.) |
| [00:57.966] | Ross? |
| [01:07.713] | Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door? |
| [01:52.393] | Ross, say something. Anything. |
| [01:57.481] | So you two are..? |
| [02:00.373] | Yeah. |
| [02:03.023] | And have you .. ed? |
| [02:05.227] | No, no, no!-No, no, no! |
| [02:08.774] | But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..? |
| [02:10.803] | Probably. |
| [02:11.374] | (Rachel looks at him.) |
| [02:11.824] | No, no! |
| [02:15.782] | Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. |
| [02:18.200] | You have every right to go nuts. |
| [02:20.338] | I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts? |
| [02:22.879] | No, but you know what I mean. |
| [02:24.586] | Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. |
| [02:36.325] | (Squeaky.) I'm fine! |
| [02:39.669] | Really? |
| [02:40.435] | Absolutely. |
| [02:42.026] | (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! |
| [02:44.643] | Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, |
| [02:51.210] | (deep voice) I'm fine. |
| [02:55.791] | I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. |
| [03:01.533] | I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) |
| [03:06.920] | But now that I've had time to absorb it,lovin' this. |
| [03:16.262] | Ross.. |
| [03:16.754] | It's all working out! Me and Charlie, and you two. |
| [03:23.008] | You know what we should do? |
| [03:24.321] | Calm ourselves? |
| [03:27.038] | No. We should all have dinner. |
| [03:30.662] | Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!! |
| [03:34.534] | Look, don't you think that will be a little weird? |
| [03:36.673] | Weird? What? What's weird? |
| [03:39.147] | The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, |
| [03:42.585] | because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.) |
| [03:52.461] | I do like fajitas. |
| [03:56.715] | God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. |
| [03:59.729] | There's inter-country adoption,dependency adoption.. |
| [04:03.599] | There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives. |
| [04:07.454] | There's a hair in my coffee. |
| [04:11.261] | Hey guys!-Hey. |
| [04:12.765] | Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets. |
| [04:16.034] | You know, it's funny. |
| [04:16.557] | Every time you say "triplets," I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds. |
| [04:20.799] | (Monica glares at him.) |
| [04:22.161] | That's sweet. Drink your hair. |
| [04:26.489] | Hey, what's all this stuff? |
| [04:28.115] | Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies. |
| [04:30.605] | Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one! |
| [04:36.152] | That's not really how it works. |
| [04:37.721] | Oh, how does it work? |
| [04:38.656] | I don't know! |
| [04:42.201] | Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. |
| [04:46.033] | They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you. |
| [04:48.247] | Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great? |
| [04:51.700] | (Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the |
| [04:52.195] | hair in his coffee.) |
| [04:56.226] | (Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.) |
| [04:56.831] | Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. |
| [04:59.313] | When we're in a public place, there are certain rules. |
| [05:01.864] | (The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.) |
| [05:03.266] | That's not what we talked about!! |
| [05:06.705] | Hey!-Hey. |
| [05:09.610] | Good to see you. |
| [05:10.086] | Good to see you, too. |
| [05:11.734] | Hi Frank. |
| [05:12.156] | Hi, how you doin'? |
| [05:14.348] | Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big! |
| [05:17.510] | Which one is which again? |
| [05:19.597] | Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. |
| [05:24.632] | And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him. |
| [05:34.078] | Monica (reads a form in her lap): "Willing to adopt triplets?" No! |
| [05:40.097] | Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, |
| [05:44.961] | this is not what we'd be doing on our first date. |
| [05:48.021] | Well, what would we be doing? |
| [05:50.299] | I'd take you out for a romantic night. |
| [05:53.579] | Some champagne, fancy dinner,feel you up on the carriage ride home... |
| [05:58.762] | Feel me up? |
| [06:00.175] | In a carriage! |
| [06:04.461] | Hey, Charlie!-Hey. |
| [06:06.980] | Hi, hi. So.. Dreading this? |
| [06:10.266] | Oh, you bet. |
| [06:12.564] | (Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.) |
| [06:12.920] | So, did you bring a little something for Ross? |
| [06:15.300] | Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment. |
| [06:19.804] | Oh. Oh, thanks. |
| [06:21.841] | And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want. |
| [06:25.375] | Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out.. |
| [06:29.472] | (They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.) |
| [06:32.105] | I thought I heard voices! |
| [06:35.417] | Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) |
| [06:37.515] | Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) |
| [06:47.012] | I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) |
| [06:52.538] | Come, please come in. Come in. |
| [06:54.903] | Okay, well, we brought you some wine. |
| [06:57.248] | Oh! That is so thoughtful. |
| [07:01.102] | (To Joey.) She's a keeper. |
| [07:04.387] | And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.) |
| [07:06.578] | Uh, actually, that's.. |
| [07:07.404] | Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!! |
| [07:16.235] | Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little... |
| [07:18.446] | What? Fine? Because I am! |
| [07:20.693] | Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? |
| [07:24.099] | You see? Who else is fine? |
| [07:27.480] | Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink. |
| [07:31.417] | You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas. |
| [07:35.412] | (Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.) |
| [07:41.924] | Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels. |
| [07:48.656] | Yeah, I really cherish these moments, |
| [07:50.922] | 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again. |
| [07:57.508] | Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute. |
| [08:01.061] | Yeah. |
| [08:01.866] | Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing.. |
| [08:05.590] | I haven't slept in four years! |
| [08:11.298] | That's a, that's a long time. |
| [08:13.138] | You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. |
| [08:17.594] | You know,two I can handle. Two's great. |
| [08:20.365] | You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. |
| [08:25.505] | I've got no more hands to protect my area! |
| [08:29.468] | There's three of them, Phoebe, three! |
| [08:31.701] | Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area. |
| [08:38.097] | Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No. |
| [08:47.661] | What? |
| [08:48.320] | No, I can't. |
| [08:52.794] | Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? |
| [08:55.615] | Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them! |
| [08:58.857] | Oh, no! I would never do that. No. |
| [09:02.009] | I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one. |
| [09:07.580] | What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one? |
| [09:18.944] | Thank you so much for seeing us. |
| [09:20.241] | Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys. |
| [09:22.375] | Oh, please, we're happy to help. |
| [09:24.652] | We went through the same thing when we were adopting. |
| [09:26.843] | So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh? |
| [09:30.281] | (Bill and Colleen look shocked.) |
| [09:37.216] | I mean, you have a lovely home. |
| [09:40.721] | Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us. |
| [09:42.538] | Well, actually, I think this might help. |
| [09:45.941] | (She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.) |
| [09:46.896] | It's pretty much all the information you need. |
| [09:48.648] | Oh my god! |
| [09:49.866] | Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, |
| [09:52.501] | and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back. |
| [09:55.935] | Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm. |
| [10:03.819] | I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. |
| [10:07.211] | Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us. |
| [10:10.129] | That's great. |
| [10:11.198] | (To Monica.) Can I see the book? |
| [10:12.230] | (Monica looks at him.) |
| [10:13.981] | You want me to wash my hands first, don't you? |
| [10:17.273] | It's.. It's just so pretty and white. |
| [10:20.767] | The bathroom is down the hall, to your left. |
| [10:24.728] | I would have told him to do it too. |
| [10:26.399] | Can I adopt you? |
| [10:30.992] | Hey, you must be Owen. |
| [10:32.060] | Yeah. |
| [10:33.144] | I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too. |
| [10:35.964] | You were? |
| [10:36.535] | Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother. |
| [10:40.505] | Huh? |
| [10:41.279] | You know how to use a compass? |
| [10:43.821] | I have a badge in it. |
| [10:44.854] | You do? That's fantastic! |
| [10:46.752] | You wanna see it? |
| [10:47.491] | I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. |
| [10:49.737] | They're telling us all about how they adopted you. |
| [10:52.556] | What?!? |
| [11:00.170] | What? |
| [11:03.037] | I'm adopted?! |
| [11:04.431] | (Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.) |
| [11:06.652] | I got nothing. |
| [11:14.113] | The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood. |
| [11:23.085] | Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. |
| [11:26.980] | Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'. |
| [11:34.127] | Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready? |
| [11:39.411] | I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. |
| [11:46.173] | There's no weirdness, no tension. |
| [11:49.071] | No awareness. |
| [11:52.241] | We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. |
| [11:56.554] | Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay,where do you think we - we can go? |
| [12:03.206] | My fajitas!! |
| [12:05.949] | (He runs off to the kitchen.) |
| [12:07.938] | Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. |
| [12:10.997] | Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. |
| [12:15.256] | You know, he normally doesn't drink like this. |
| [12:17.334] | Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic. |
| [12:24.047] | Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable? |
| [12:29.851] | (Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.) |
| [12:30.333] | Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!! |
| [12:33.921] | Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on! |
| [12:40.252] | That is gonna hurt tomorrow! |
| [12:46.114] | Okay, well, this is crazy. |
| [12:47.635] | Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids,can we? |
| [12:50.993] | No, of course we're not. |
| [12:52.905] | Insane. |
| [12:53.219] | I know. |
| [12:54.423] | Alice would never go for it, right? |
| [12:56.000] | Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard. |
| [13:01.354] | Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. |
| [13:05.668] | Which one would you be willing to give up? |
| [13:08.337] | Huh. |
| [13:09.960] | Frank Jr.Jr.? |
| [13:11.469] | Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. |
| [13:14.304] | I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke. |
| [13:21.602] | Uh-huh. |
| [13:22.014] | What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) |
| [13:30.486] | Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny. |
| [13:34.333] | Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie? |
| [13:36.631] | Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. |
| [13:39.344] | No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet. |
| [13:44.841] | Alright, so that leaves Chandler. |
| [13:46.105] | Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. |
| [13:50.205] | I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor.. |
| [13:58.249] | Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids. |
| [14:03.243] | Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. |
| [14:13.238] | I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies. |
| [14:19.347] | I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. |
| [14:24.140] | I can -I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there. |
| [14:27.551] | How about tomorrow? |
| [14:28.429] | Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. |
| [14:34.731] | You and Alice just take the whole day together. |
| [14:37.483] | You'd do that for us? |
| [14:39.383] | Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for. |
| [14:47.474] | Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. |
| [14:53.090] | (Strokes Leslie's hair,and she moves a little.) |
| [14:54.315] | Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up! |
| [15:00.704] | Where are Bill and Colleen? |
| [15:01.767] | They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. |
| [15:03.834] | Can you believe how nice they are? |
| [15:05.148] | We have to leave!! |
| [15:08.394] | Why? What did you do in the bathroom? |
| [15:11.587] | I didn't get to the bathroom. |
| [15:12.684] | I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. |
| [15:15.894] | And there's a slight chance I may have told him. |
| [15:19.711] | Oh my god, where's my purse? |
| [15:20.895] | No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. |
| [15:22.458] | Get that binder, and let's go! |
| [15:24.316] | Hey. |
| [15:25.788] | Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. |
| [15:29.909] | Those are for Owen. |
| [15:31.749] | I'll go get him in a second. |
| [15:32.902] | By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet. |
| [15:37.533] | But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows? |
| [15:41.447] | (Owen comes running in.) |
| [15:42.012] | I'm adopted?! |
| [15:43.373] | See? Intuitive! |
| [15:45.807] | What? Where did you hear that? |
| [15:47.922] | HE told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell. |
| [15:55.117] | Which technically now you should give back! |
| [16:00.586] | You told him he's adopted? |
| [16:02.479] | I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. |
| [16:05.561] | Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. |
| [16:09.040] | "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real." |
| [16:12.561] | He isn't?! |
| [16:15.677] | (to Monica): We have to get out of here, baby! |
| [16:21.162] | Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey. |
| [16:27.777] | Ooy. |
| [16:29.770] | And to love~ Ahhh, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love? |
| [16:47.632] | Oh my god, are we supposed to answer? |
| [16:51.285] | O is for "oh, wow!" |
| [17:00.671] | The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. |
| [17:14.037] | E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. |
| [17:32.091] | And now one day you might get married and have children of your own. |
| [17:40.454] | (Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.) |
| [17:44.796] | Dude, are you okay? |
| [17:46.250] | Totally. |
| [17:49.893] | Ross, you don't seem okay. |
| [17:51.495] | (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. |
| [17:58.805] | I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan. |
| [18:02.534] | Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off. |
| [18:05.890] | No! |
| [18:06.987] | I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely. |
| [18:15.331] | Wasn't it? |
| [18:16.594] | And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel. |
| [18:22.861] | You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay? |
| [18:27.250] | Okay. |
| [18:27.960] | Alright. |
| [18:32.544] | God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so.. |
| [18:34.187] | Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me. |
| [18:38.529] | Bye. |
| [18:41.455] | Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed! |
| [18:51.615] | You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too. |
| [18:54.930] | Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. |
| [19:02.399] | I mean, you probably just want to be alone. |
| [19:04.010] | No, no, it's just that it's getting late... |
| [19:05.619] | Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good. |
| [19:17.666] | I don't even know what that's for. |
| [19:25.704] | You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay. |
| [19:30.276] | Yeah, that's probably a good idea. |
| [19:31.655] | Yeah. I'll see you in the morning. |
| [19:33.046] | Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this. |
| [19:41.294] | It doesn't look good, does it? |
| [19:47.422] | (They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.) |
| [20:04.068] | Morning. Here you go. |
| [20:06.672] | Thanks. Did you stay here all night? |
| [20:11.032] | Yeah. |
| [20:13.809] | So you took off my pants and shoes? |
| [20:17.762] | No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. |
| [20:25.581] | Look,Ross, about, about Rachel and I. |
| [20:30.519] | Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? |
| [20:32.288] | Because nothing is gonna happen. |
| [20:34.665] | What do you mean? |
| [20:37.580] | Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything |
| [20:40.757] | unless you were okay with it. |
| [20:42.379] | And clearly.. |
| [20:43.845] | Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine! |
| [20:47.246] | It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. |
| [20:52.909] | You're.. You're Ross and Rachel. |
| [20:59.761] | Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. |
| [21:12.122] | Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long? |
| [21:17.611] | That's what I hear, yeah. |
| [21:21.627] | This is crazy. I mean, six years? |
| [21:24.554] | And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? |
| [21:29.844] | Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel? |
| [21:39.100] | Come on, I mean, you know me, you know... |
| [21:44.520] | Joey. |
| [21:51.958] | I'm crazy about her. |
| [21:59.457] | And she feels the same way? |
| [22:04.161] | I think so. |
| [22:08.645] | Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on. |
| [22:13.290] | Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it. |
| [22:15.672] | No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? |
| [22:28.777] | Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? |
| [22:31.349] | I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she? |
| [22:32.914] | No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. |
| [22:42.660] | Are you uhh... sure about this? |
| [22:46.828] | Yeah, I'm sure. |
| [22:51.731] | And... we're okay? |
| [22:58.516] | (Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. |
| [23:03.124] | He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.) |
| [23:07.049] | Hey, Phoebs-Hey. |
| [23:08.606] | Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us. |
| [23:12.412] | Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him. |
| [23:14.982] | What? |
| [23:16.405] | Still, he had to find out sometime. |
| [23:18.746] | Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them? |
| [23:21.850] | (The triplets stare at him.) |
| [23:27.561] | I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.) |
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