| [00:04.27] | She is the star of the play, and she is my girlfriend. |
| [00:08.24] | I get to have sex with the star of the play! |
| [00:11.47] | -People can hear you. -I know! |
| [00:22.52] | She looks great,doesn't she? |
| [00:28.16] | That is one good-looking man. |
| [00:32.39] | Is it just me,or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat? |
| [00:38.33] | So you been doing this long? |
| [00:41.30] | No. You're my first. Put the money on the table. |
| [00:49.71] | That's nice. |
| [00:54.22] | Dude! |
| [00:58.72] | -ls that an expensive blouse? -lf you want it to be. |
| [01:07.50] | Here's your girlfriend's button. |
| [01:12.30] | The One with Rachel's Crush |
| [00:00.00] | |
| [02:00.85] | Do you still have your old blouses and dresses from high school? |
| [02:05.49] | Yeah,I think I have some around here somewhere. Why? |
| [02:08.19] | Maternity clothes are so expensive. |
| [02:13.09] | Rach,I made a pile of your stuff. If you could just... |
| [02:18.93] | ...throw your purses at it. |
| [02:21.47] | Bloomingdale's eliminated my department. |
| [02:24.77] | Are you out of a job? |
| [02:26.37] | No,but they stuck me in Personal Shopping,which is a huge step down. |
| [02:31.31] | What is that? |
| [02:32.61] | Where you walk around with rich people and tell them what to buy? |
| [02:38.19] | That sounds great! |
| [02:44.49] | We switched apartments. You can't eat our food. That gravy train has ended. |
| [02:49.96] | There's gravy? |
| [02:52.73] | If you have the big apartment,you have to deal with people coming over. |
| [02:56.24] | That fridge has to be stocked. That's your apartment now. |
| [03:03.08] | -What are you doing? -I think I left a doughnut up here. |
| [03:12.25] | How was Kathy's play? |
| [03:14.96] | Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good-looking guy. |
| [03:20.63] | It's like somebody wrote down my worst nightmare... |
| [03:23.60] | ...and then charged me $32 to see it. |
| [03:27.54] | That's a good idea for a business. |
| [03:29.97] | I'm totally screwed. They're gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night... |
| [03:34.11] | ...then they'll go to their cast parties, and he's gonna try to undermine me. |
| [03:38.11] | He'll be like,"Where's your boyfriend? What's his name? Chester?" |
| [03:41.88] | She'll go,"It's Chandler." He'll go,"Whatever!" |
| [03:47.76] | That is a good trick. |
| [03:51.46] | All right,look. What am I going to do? |
| [03:54.30] | They're actors. They're there to do a job. |
| [03:57.50] | It doesn't mean they're gonna get together. |
| [03:59.93] | Just because it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins... |
| [04:03.00] | ...doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them. ... |
| [04:05.91] | Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. |
| [04:08.91] | Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. |
| [04:12.68] | Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. |
| [04:16.65] | They're not a couple. |
| [04:17.92] | I get the game now. |
| [04:21.26] | All these people were in movies together. It's much different with plays. |
| [04:24.93] | You were in acting class together,and she slept with you. |
| [04:27.83] | Acting class is a lot more like a movie than a play. |
| [04:31.20] | When they were doing it on stage, was it really hot? |
| [04:35.74] | Oh,yeah. |
| [04:39.64] | So you're fine. |
| [04:41.14] | The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage... |
| [04:45.61] | ...then all the sexual tension between them is gone. |
| [04:49.08] | As long as it's hot on stage, you got nothing to worry about. |
| [04:53.52] | When the heat goes away, that's when you're in trouble. |
| [04:57.19] | Really? |
| [04:58.36] | You guys have been to every play I've been in. Have I ever had chemistry on stage? |
| [05:02.46] | -No. -No! |
| [05:08.64] | Are you gonna go see the play with me tonight? |
| [05:11.91] | I don't know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between them. |
| [05:17.35] | -I know,but -No,I'm there. |
| [05:23.55] | -Want some pancakes? -You made pancakes? |
| [05:26.35] | Grab a plate. |
| [05:29.52] | No,no. Stay right there. |
| [05:34.40] | Getting closer. |
| [05:37.07] | Don't worry... |
| [05:38.37] | ...we also have cereals, muffins,waffles and... ... |
| [05:41.54] | ...jams,jellies and marmalades, which I'm sure are the same thing. ... |
| [05:46.74] | Please eat,because Joey opened everything. |
| [05:50.81] | |
| [05:55.55] | I was thinking about having people over. |
| [05:57.79] | Yeah? Who's playing? |
| [06:01.89] | The players. |
| [06:04.89] | Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess. |
| [06:09.63] | Please. It's a relief,is what it is,is what it is. |
| [06:15.20] | Pheebs,stick out your plate. |
| [06:24.58] | Monica,I'm quitting. |
| [06:25.81] | I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong,and she didn't even buy it. |
| [06:30.99] | I'm quitting. |
| [06:32.62] | I'm talking to my boss right now. |
| [06:35.39] | Yes,I am. Yes,I am. |
| [06:37.49] | Okay,bye. Call me when you get this message. |
| [06:41.26] | Mr. Waltham? I really need to talk to you. |
| [06:44.00] | In a moment,please. I'm in the middle of a task. |
| [06:46.83] | And you have a customer. |
| [06:51.91] | Hi. |
| [06:53.17] | Hi,I'm Joshua. |
| [06:54.64] | I'm Rachel Greene. What could I do for you,Joshua? |
| [06:57.95] | I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife Well,my ex-wife |
| [07:02.58] | I'm so sorry. |
| [07:09.16] | Anyway,she burned all of my clothes. |
| [07:11.99] | I got away with this suit and what turned out to be a skirt. |
| [07:17.06] | Well,at least that's a great suit. |
| [07:20.20] | It wasn't much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. |
| [07:25.94] | I need everything down to underwear. If you're willing,I'm all yours. |
| [07:31.61] | Okay. |
| [07:33.55] | You needed to speak to me? |
| [07:35.38] | No,no,that wasn't me. |
| [07:39.89] | We should get started. Let me show you my underwear. |
| [07:45.56] | The selection of underwear that we carry. |
| [07:51.63] | I'm sorry. |
| [07:52.83] | -It's this way. -This way? Sorry. |
| [08:00.54] | I'm right. Right? There was no chemistry between them. |
| [08:03.95] | Before,they had heat. Now,there's no heat. |
| [08:07.45] | You know what this means. Joey told us what this means. |
| [08:10.75] | Let's not jump to any conclusions. There was some sexual chemistry. |
| [08:15.72] | Come on. It was like cousins having sex. |
| [08:20.53] | Here she comes. Don't say a word. Just be cool. Don't be,you know,you. |
| [08:27.44] | Hey,you guys! |
| [08:29.74] | Thank you so much for coming again. |
| [08:32.41] | -Did you like it tonight? -Absolutely. |
| [08:36.21] | Wasn't Nick funny when he couldn't get his match lit? |
| [08:43.52] | It's a good play,isn't it? |
| [08:47.05] | I loved the play. You were great. |
| [08:49.56] | And Nick,ditto. |
| [08:53.09] | Clearly,you're having sex with him. |
| [08:58.83] | Okay.... |
| [09:04.57] | Clearly,I'm having sex with him? |
| [09:07.17] | It was so obvious. There was no chemistry between you two. |
| [09:11.41] | You're accusing me of cheating on you, and you're insulting my performance? |
| [09:16.88] | I can see how this could happen. You're up there every night naked,touching,kissing. |
| [09:22.09] | Acting. Chandler,this is my job. |
| [09:25.26] | I'm playing a part in a play. How can you not trust me? |
| [09:29.10] | You can understand, given how we started. |
| [09:33.83] | I can't believe you're throwing that in my face. |
| [09:36.34] | That is what happened. I don't even see you denying this. |
| [09:40.37] | I'll tell you what,Chandler. You call me when you grow up. |
| [09:43.68] | Don't expect that to happen any time soon! |
| [09:51.79] | I have the best job in the entire world! |
| [09:54.92] | The most adorable guy came over, and I got to dress him up all day! |
| [10:00.90] | Rachel has a new doll! |
| [10:03.66] | I wish he was a doll. I'd get a Rachel doll and bump them together... |
| [10:07.20] | ...and make kissing noises. |
| [10:10.10] | He's got the most beautiful name. I never realized. Joshua. |
| [10:14.94] | Joshua. |
| [10:16.94] | Joshua. Josh. |
| [10:19.58] | Hello? |
| [10:21.02] | Hi. |
| [10:24.72] | What do I smell? |
| [10:26.39] | I don't know. It smells good. |
| [10:34.36] | Fresh cookies! Hot from the oven. |
| [10:37.63] | Please,have some. |
| [10:40.17] | I've been fiddling around here, making delicious treats for everyone. |
| [10:44.84] | The new Playboy. |
| [10:46.34] | Just something I picked up. |
| [10:48.34] | Cookies and porn? You're the best mom ever! |
| [10:57.55] | What? |
| [10:58.75] | It's just something Joshua said about V-necks,but you had to be there. |
| [11:04.03] | How does Jason look in a V-neck? |
| [11:06.43] | -It's Joshua. -Whatever. |
| [11:11.87] | Wait. Wait. This isn't takeout! |
| [11:14.77] | -Hate to eat and run. -No,wait. Please,don't go! |
| [11:17.91] | I've got porn for you too. |
| [11:20.68] | I don't need it. |
| [11:23.44] | People are supposed to want to hang out here. |
| [11:25.81] | Why? What is the big deal? |
| [11:27.85] | I'm the hostess. |
| [11:30.48] | Not those guys. I'm always the hostess. |
| [11:33.52] | Even when I was little,the girls brought their dollies to my tea party. |
| [11:37.96] | I served the best air. |
| [11:40.83] | Why'd you make a big thing out of everyone hanging out in the big apartment? |
| [11:45.30] | 'Cause they took our apartment. I wanted to punish them. |
| [11:48.54] | I'm done now. They've suffered enough. |
| [11:52.44] | If you wanted to punish them,you should have just made them hang out here. |
| [11:56.18] | That is true. |
| [11:57.71] | This place is gonna be 10 times better than that place. |
| [12:00.72] | Are we gonna trash their place? |
| [12:04.69] | There's steps! |
| [12:08.46] | Slut! |
| [12:14.06] | You'll all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy! |
| [12:19.17] | -What? -You were right? |
| [12:21.10] | I confronted her, and she didn't deny it. |
| [12:26.41] | I don't live here! |
| [12:32.45] | Wait,are you sure? |
| [12:34.25] | I may be drunk, but I know what she said. |
| [12:37.32] | Then I went over to Beefsteak Chewley's.... |
| [12:42.32] | -Beefsteak Charlie's? -Yes! |
| [12:44.69] | You and l have always been like: |
| [12:49.63] | Man,I am so sorry. |
| [12:51.37] | The bartender taught me a trick,though. |
| [13:01.44] | I don't remember it. |
| [13:20.39] | -Do you need help with that? -I got it. |
| [13:24.03] | I just feel bad. I never vacuum. |
| [13:30.34] | I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. |
| [13:35.48] | -Just so frustrating. -Why don't you ask him out? |
| [13:38.21] | Totally. That's such a turn-on. |
| [13:41.15] | Really? It doesn't seem desperate? |
| [13:43.58] | That's the turn-on. |
| [13:46.92] | He just got a divorce. Right? He's probably really nervous around women. |
| [13:50.72] | Maybe you just need to make the first move. |
| [13:53.19] | -I've never asked a guy out before. -You've never asked a guy out? |
| [13:57.06] | No. Have you? |
| [13:58.37] | Thousands of times! |
| [14:02.00] | That doesn't make me sound too good,does it? |
| [14:05.11] | I don't even know how I would go about it. |
| [14:07.68] | What I do is,I look a woman up and down,and I say... |
| [14:11.51] | ..."Hey. How you doing?" |
| [14:17.35] | Oh,please! |
| [14:19.19] | Hey. How you doing? |
| [14:26.73] | You know what? I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna call him up and ask him out. |
| [14:31.97] | I can do that,ask him out. |
| [14:34.94] | "How you doing?" |
| [14:40.24] | Hi,Joshua. It's Rachel Greene from Bloomingdale's. |
| [14:45.08] | I was just wondering if you...? |
| [14:48.12] | If you... |
| [14:52.25] | ...Ieft your wallet at the store today? |
| [14:56.49] | We found a wallet,and we |
| [14:59.66] | The license? That is a good idea. |
| [15:03.83] | Well,let's see. This license belongs to... |
| [15:07.47] | ...belongs to a Mr. Pheebs. |
| [15:16.11] | So sorry to bother you at home. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. |
| [15:22.02] | -You've done that a thousand times? -I've never done that. |
| [15:26.59] | I just got so nervous that he'd say no. |
| [15:29.19] | You gotta give him something he can't say no to,like... |
| [15:32.73] | ...Knicks tickets. Invite him to a Knicks game. You're guaranteed he'll say yes. |
| [15:36.86] | -Really? You think that'll work? -Absolutely. And if not,can I go? |
| [15:42.74] | What the heck is that? |
| [15:57.75] | Did she call? |
| [16:01.22] | No. Sorry. |
| [16:03.52] | Maybe I should call her. |
| [16:05.76] | Forget her,man. You don't need her. |
| [16:08.40] | He's right. What she did was unforgivable. |
| [16:11.17] | Well,yeah,but,you know, what if I was wrong? |
| [16:14.44] | How might you be wrong? |
| [16:16.34] | What if she didn't actually sleep with the guy? |
| [16:19.44] | Tell me she told you this. |
| [16:21.18] | She didn't have to tell me. I saw the play. There was no heat. |
| [16:24.45] | -Back me up. -That's all you're basing this on? |
| [16:26.75] | That's not backing me up! |
| [16:28.82] | Look,you said, "With the offstage and the heat" |
| [16:32.59] | That was just a theory. There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out: |
| [16:37.19] | Lone gunman,communism,geometry. |
| [16:42.56] | Oh,my God! |
| [16:47.37] | "Would you like to go to a basketball game with?" |
| [16:51.01] | "It's funny,basketball, because I happen to have tickets" |
| [16:59.41] | "Who likes the Knick?" |
| [17:04.25] | What do you think? |
| [17:06.75] | Well,as a single woman, who is available... |
| [17:12.29] | ...I think you look great. |
| [17:16.73] | Oh,yeah. You look great. |
| [17:25.31] | This looks great. |
| [17:28.64] | So you like it? |
| [17:29.91] | I do. I love it. In fact,I think I'll wear it home. |
| [17:33.38] | -Great. -Thank you so much for all your help. |
| [17:37.89] | Well,I guess this is it. |
| [17:41.59] | Thanks. |
| [17:43.02] | Maybe I'll see you in the spring for the bathing suits. |
| [17:46.03] | You don't want to do that now? |
| [17:49.26] | That's okay. |
| [17:51.27] | I'll see you around sometime. |
| [17:53.43] | Basketball! |
| [17:56.70] | Sorry? |
| [17:59.61] | I have two tickets to the Knicks game if you're interested... |
| [18:02.88] | ...just as a thank-you for this week. |
| [18:07.48] | That would be great! |
| [18:09.38] | -Really? -That would be fantastic! |
| [18:11.72] | My nephew is crazy about the Knicks! |
| [18:16.66] | This is fantastic. Thank you so much,Rachel. |
| [18:20.29] | Good morning. |
| [18:32.77] | I just wanted to come over to say that I'm sorry. |
| [18:36.31] | I acted like the biggest idiot in the world. |
| [18:39.31] | I can completely understand why you were so upset. |
| [18:44.95] | I really wish you'd called me. |
| [18:46.75] | Yeah,I know. I wish I had too. |
| [18:49.72] | I think this is a good thing. |
| [18:52.33] | We've had our first fight, and now we can move on. |
| [18:55.43] | I know for me,but |
| [19:04.54] | Nick's pants? |
| [19:10.34] | I think our second fight is going to be a big one! |
| [19:20.29] | -For next time,what do you say? -"l have an extra ticket." |
| [19:24.06] | "An extra ticket." Not "two tickets." |
| [19:29.56] | The first time you asked a guy out he turned you down? |
| [19:35.34] | He didn't turn me down. He's at the game. |
| [19:38.51] | I got the date. I'm just not on it. |
| [19:44.31] | Okay,it's ready. |
| [19:47.41] | -Come on. -What's ready? |
| [19:50.08] | Just come. |
| [19:55.16] | Oh,my God! |
| [19:58.76] | This is beautiful! |
| [20:01.09] | Did you work for two days straight? |
| [20:05.77] | Pretty much. |
| [20:08.20] | What do you think of the floor? |
| [20:10.70] | I don't know. Looks the same. |
| [20:13.04] | You used to have carpet. |
| [20:14.94] | Oh,yeah. |
| [20:17.28] | I made snacks. |
| [20:19.71] | Please,just hang out. |
| [20:21.28] | I'm just gonna rest my eyes for just a little bit. |
| [20:25.75] | Do you want us to come back later? |
| [20:27.79] | No,no,no. Stay. Just keep talking. |
| [20:32.29] | I'm always the hostess. |
| [20:38.10] | How'd it go? |
| [20:39.67] | -She wasn't sleeping with him. -Good! |
| [20:42.30] | She is now. |
| [20:46.57] | -What are you saying? -I'm saying that she is a devil woman. |
| [20:52.18] | You think you know a person,then they turn around and sleep with Nick. |
| [20:56.28] | Nick and his rock-hard pecs and his giant man-nipples. |
| [21:02.79] | I hate him. And I hate her. |
| [21:05.83] | I don't hate her. I love her. This is all my fault. |
| [21:10.76] | How? How is it your fault? |
| [21:14.00] | I should have called. |
| [21:15.34] | If I had called her,she never would have gone out with Nick. |
| [21:19.11] | They wouldn't have ended up in bed. I threw her at his man-nipples! |
| [21:26.18] | This is not your fault. |
| [21:28.02] | Your fight does not justify her sleeping with someone. |
| [21:34.62] | Well,if she thought they were on a break.... |
| [21:43.86] | Rachel,one of your customers seems to have left his billfold,a Joshua Burgen. |
| [21:48.80] | Really? |
| [21:50.07] | -Will you call him? -Yes,I will. Absolutely. |
| [22:08.22] | Hello,Rachel. |
| [22:10.26] | Hi,Joshua. |
| [22:12.39] | -I left my wallet here on purpose. -Really? |
| [22:16.40] | Yes. I just wanted to see you again. |
| [22:18.87] | I'm glad. |
| [22:21.34] | Rachel,I'd like to say something to you. |
| [22:24.74] | Yes? |
| [22:26.64] | "How you doing?" |
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