| [00:25.-2] | Oh,right. |
| [02:26.-3] | Yes! |
| [03:11.-2] | Hi,neighbor. |
| [07:10.-2] | Pheebs? How long do you think this lady will be with us? |
| [07:18.-4] | Sit up! |
| [07:54.-4] | This is Joey. |
| [11:00.-2] | Damn! My mail-order grandfather hasn't come yet. |
| [14:12.-3] | I'm dicing. I'm dicing. I don't hear anything. |
| [14:19.-2] | ...there might be more.… |
| [14:24.-2] | |
| [16:12.-4] | You're still gonna pay me,right? |
| [18:28.-4] | All right, you'll be sorry later. |
| [19:11.-3] | Ross. |
| [19:31.-1] | Now I've seen everything! |
| [21:28.-2] | No,that's fine. |
| [00:02.11] | Okay,here's his diaper bag... |
| [00:05.42] | ...and his Mr. Winky. … |
| [00:08.55] | And... |
| [00:11.12] | ... him. Hi! … |
| [00:13.43] | -How did everything go? -Great! |
| [00:15.76] | There was a projectile... |
| [00:18.43] | ...throwing up incident, but he started it. … |
| [00:22.13] | We've gotta go. |
| [00:26.84] | I've got some news. It's about us. |
| [00:29.47] | You and me? |
| [00:30.58] | No. Susan and me. |
| [00:32.74] | The other "us." |
| [00:38.92] | We're getting married. |
| [00:46.16] | As in,"I now pronounce you wife and wife" married? |
| [00:50.70] | We'd like you to come. We understand if you don't want to. |
| [00:54.50] | Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding. |
| [00:59.84] | I just thought that |
| [01:01.34] | Why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me... |
| [01:06.04] | ...if I couldn't revel in your joy? … |
| [01:09.31] | And I'm reveling,baby! Believe me! |
| [01:12.32] | Is your finger caught in that chair? |
| [01:16.69] | Want us to go? |
| [01:20.83] | The One With the Lesbian Wedding |
| [02:09.34] | This is cool. You're actually on television. |
| [02:12.31] | I know. It really hit me last night. |
| [02:14.81] | I'm on Days of our Lives. |
| [02:18.58] | Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives. |
| [02:27.03] | What? |
| [02:28.13] | Carol and Susan's caterer had a bike accident... |
| [02:31.36] | ...and she's in a full-body cast. … |
| [02:37.30] | They asked me,which is cool since I've never catered... |
| [02:40.47] | ...and I need the money. Is this a problem? … |
| [02:43.14] | -Would it matter? -You're so great! |
| [02:45.44] | Thank you! |
| [02:46.88] | -You're really not going? -I'm really not. |
| [02:49.68] | They already live together. Why do they need to get married? |
| [02:53.72] | They love each other. |
| [02:55.39] | They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them. |
| [02:59.66] | If you wanna call that a reason. |
| [03:03.03] | Who's the bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:07.07] | The bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:14.47] | -I thought you were over this. -That has nothing to do with it. |
| [03:18.81] | If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn't expect me to go. |
| [03:22.65] | If she were marrying a guy, she'd be the worst lesbian ever. |
| [03:29.42] | Did I miss it? |
| [03:31.02] | No,I'm on right after this guy shoots himself. |
| [03:35.19] | She's pretty. |
| [03:37.33] | And she's really nice. |
| [03:38.93] | She taught me about how to work with the cameras... |
| [03:42.07] | ...and smell-the-fart acting. … |
| [03:47.01] | -I'm sorry,what? -Excuse me? |
| [03:49.61] | You got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes... |
| [03:53.08] | ...you need a minute to remember your next one. … |
| [03:56.11] | So while you're thinking... |
| [03:58.05] | ...you take this big pause where you look all intense. … |
| [04:01.72] | Like this.... |
| [04:09.86] | Here's my scene! Here's my scene! |
| [04:14.57] | Mrs. Wallace? |
| [04:16.47] | Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. |
| [04:19.10] | Is she going to be all right? |
| [04:21.41] | I'm afraid the situation is much more dire than we'd expected. |
| [04:25.48] | Your sister's suffering from a... |
| [04:33.72] | ...subcranial hematoma. … |
| [04:37.59] | Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee. |
| [04:47.63] | Nice! |
| [04:50.30] | For a minute,I thought you were actually smelling something. |
| [04:56.64] | -Do it again! -All right! |
| [04:58.28] | -That was so good! -Do it again. |
| [05:01.45] | "Damn it,Braverman! It's right there on the chart!" “ |
| [05:05.92] | I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. |
| [05:10.09] | No,that's me. |
| [05:11.32] | Oh,right. |
| [05:17.10] | Oh,thanks. Couldn't.... |
| [05:21.83] | Is everything okay? |
| [05:23.13] | No. |
| [05:27.27] | One of my clients died on the massage table today. |
| [05:30.84] | Oh,my God! |
| [05:32.71] | That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get. |
| [05:38.28] | She was,you know, 82 years old... |
| [05:41.35] | ...and her name was Mrs. Adelman. … |
| [05:44.72] | Oh,honey. |
| [05:45.82] | It's just so strange. You know... |
| [05:48.56] | ...she probably woke up this morning and thought... … |
| [05:51.50] | ... I'll have some breakfast, take a walk,then have my massage. … |
| [05:55.47] | Little did she know God thought, "Okay,but that's it." |
| [06:02.37] | Oh,but the weirdest things was... |
| [06:05.34] | ... I was cleansing her aura when it happened. … |
| [06:08.81] | And when her spirit left her body... |
| [06:11.72] | ... I don't think it went very far. … |
| [06:15.00] | What do you mean? |
| [06:16.92] | I think it went into me. |
| [06:28.10] | This is so hard. |
| [06:29.53] | I can't decide between lamb or duck. |
| [06:31.84] | Well,lambs are scarier. |
| [06:33.74] | Or the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks. |
| [06:38.71] | Okay,who ordered what? |
| [06:40.51] | I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. |
| [06:45.38] | And this with the cigarette butt in it,is that decaf? |
| [06:48.89] | Oh,God. |
| [06:50.72] | You're so uptight about your mom coming. |
| [06:53.06] | I know. I just don't want her to think that because... |
| [06:56.59] | ... I didn't marry Barry my life is crap. … |
| [06:59.30] | Talk about crap,just listen to Stella Neidman... |
| [07:02.37] | ...tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. … |
| [07:14.28] | I don't know. She obviously has some unfinished business. |
| [07:22.39] | There she is! |
| [07:23.79] | -Mom! -Hey,sweetie! |
| [07:31.80] | So this is where you work! |
| [07:34.60] | Oh,it's wonderful! |
| [07:37.00] | Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? |
| [07:41.51] | I guess that's the fun. |
| [07:43.44] | Pretty much. Here,meet my friends. |
| [07:45.68] | Monica! You look gorgeous! |
| [07:48.81] | Oh,my! The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten. |
| [07:55.69] | This is Phoebe. |
| [07:57.02] | This is Chandler. |
| [07:58.49] | You remember Ross? |
| [07:59.79] | Oh,hello,Ross. |
| [08:01.19] | Mrs. Greene. |
| [08:04.60] | What do you think of my daughter,in the apron... |
| [08:07.87] | ...with the big job! … |
| [08:09.43] | Oh,Mom! |
| [08:12.04] | If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. |
| [08:17.21] | Believe me,sometimes that happens. |
| [08:21.78] | This is just so exciting! You know,I never worked. |
| [08:25.45] | I went from my father's house to the sorority house... |
| [08:28.85] | ...to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you! … |
| [08:32.79] | Really? |
| [08:34.89] | I know who you remind me of. |
| [08:37.46] | Evelyn Durmer. |
| [08:38.80] | That's before the lousy face-lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales. |
| [08:47.24] | Pheebs? Who's Evelyn Durmer? |
| [08:51.01] | I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales? |
| [08:56.25] | Oh,my God! |
| [08:57.72] | There's an unattractive nude man playing the cello. |
| [09:02.42] | Just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument. |
| [09:09.69] | You have some life here,sweetie! |
| [09:12.06] | Mom,I realize you were upset when I didn't marry Barry... |
| [09:15.73] | ...and get the house in the suburbs with all the security. … |
| [09:19.57] | This is just so much better for me. |
| [09:21.84] | I know. You didn't love Barry,honey. |
| [09:26.01] | And I've never seen you this happy. |
| [09:28.78] | I look at you and I think, "This is what I want." |
| [09:34.42] | For me. |
| [09:37.05] | Well,not just for you. |
| [09:39.72] | What do you mean? |
| [09:41.93] | I'm considering leaving your father. |
| [09:48.93] | All right,tell me if this is too cute. |
| [09:51.54] | Lesbian wedding... chicken breasts. |
| [09:58.41] | Oh,God. I think I'm gonna be sick. |
| [10:01.75] | What? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them. |
| [10:08.35] | -You had no idea? -None. |
| [10:11.12] | They didn't fight? |
| [10:12.79] | No,they didn't even talk to each other. |
| [10:15.73] | How was I suppose to know they were having problems? |
| [10:20.06] | You know,in my day, divorce was not an option. |
| [10:24.70] | Hey,look who's up! |
| [10:28.81] | I just can't believe this is happening! |
| [10:31.61] | When I was little, all parents got divorced. |
| [10:34.55] | I figured as an adult, I wouldn't have to worry about it. |
| [10:37.88] | Can't you look at this as flattering? |
| [10:41.00] | She just wants to be like you. |
| [10:43.29] | Well,couldn't she have just copied my haircut? |
| [10:47.76] | When my parents divorced, they sent me to a shrink... |
| [10:50.83] | ...and she told me that kids blame themselves. … |
| [10:54.13] | But in your case, it's actually kind of true. |
| [10:57.84] | Oh,that's him. |
| [11:04.34] | -Phoebe? -Hi,Mr. Adelman. |
| [11:06.34] | -Nice to see you. -Thanks for coming. |
| [11:08.48] | That's okay. Although you did cut into my busy day of sitting. |
| [11:14.52] | Do you wanna sit? |
| [11:16.09] | No,I spent most of my morning trying to stand up. |
| [11:21.53] | What can I do for you,my dear? |
| [11:23.59] | Okay,I don't know how to say this,but.... |
| [11:26.93] | I think when your wife's spirit left her body... |
| [11:29.87] | ...it kind of stuck around... … |
| [11:32.60] | ...in me. … |
| [11:34.34] | You're saying my wife is in you? |
| [11:36.71] | Yeah. You don't have to believe me,but... |
| [11:40.01] | ...can you think of any unfinished business she had? … |
| [11:43.51] | Any reason to hang around? |
| [11:45.72] | I don't know what to say. |
| [11:47.62] | All I can think of is that... |
| [11:50.12] | ...she used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything. … |
| [11:54.69] | -Everything? -Everything. |
| [11:57.29] | That's a lot of stuff. |
| [11:59.03] | Oh,wait,l.... |
| [12:00.36] | I remember she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. |
| [12:13.48] | I'm sorry. There's laughing in my head. |
| [12:19.02] | Worth a shot,huh? |
| [12:26.26] | Look at this! |
| [12:28.36] | These are all Halloween, three years ago. |
| [12:31.56] | Oh,and look,here's Barry. |
| [12:33.70] | He came straight from the office? |
| [12:35.93] | Oh,no. That was his costume. |
| [12:39.87] | See,he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. |
| [12:45.41] | You guys? |
| [12:46.71] | Remember when I said that I don't need your help? |
| [12:50.01] | Actually,I think you said... |
| [12:51.72] | ... "Don't touch that and get out of my kitchen." …“ |
| [12:55.05] | Really? Weird. Anyway.... |
| [12:58.59] | I planned really well. I planned and planned. |
| [13:01.76] | I just didn't plan enough time to do it. |
| [13:04.80] | -You want some help? -lf you want. |
| [13:12.30] | What a day! |
| [13:13.74] | I took her everywhere. |
| [13:18.41] | The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center... |
| [13:21.65] | ...the Statue of Liberty. … |
| [13:23.31] | She's still with you? |
| [13:24.88] | Yes. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. |
| [13:29.65] | Be right back. She has to go to the bathroom again. |
| [13:34.89] | Such a pretty face! |
| [13:40.80] | Oh,this is so much fun! Just the girls! |
| [13:44.50] | Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana? |
| [13:48.57] | God! |
| [13:52.64] | Look,no one's smoking pot around all this food. |
| [13:56.01] | Well,that's fine. |
| [13:58.15] | I never did it. I just thought I might. |
| [14:03.02] | What's new in sex? |
| [14:07.12] | What's new in sex? |
| [14:09.19] | The only man I've been with is your father. |
| [14:15.33] | This is no offense to your dad, but I was thinking... |
| [14:20.44] | You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. |
| [14:25.14] | You come here and drop this bomb on me before you even tell Daddy. |
| [14:29.45] | Do you want my blessing? Want me to talk you out of it? |
| [14:33.22] | Then what do you want? |
| [14:34.89] | I guess I figured you would understand. |
| [14:37.39] | Why on earth would I understand this? |
| [14:41.23] | You didn't marry your Barry,honey. |
| [14:44.00] | But I married mine. |
| [14:52.57] | We're in trouble. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. |
| [14:56.54] | Move,move,move! |
| [14:58.74] | I feel like you should have German subtitles. |
| [15:03.91] | Joey,speed it up! |
| [15:05.52] | I'm sorry! It's the pigs! They're reluctant to get in the blanket! |
| [15:10.72] | How did this happen? I thought you had this planned out. |
| [15:14.56] | Do you want me to cry? |
| [15:17.39] | Is that what you want? |
| [15:19.56] | Do you wanna see me cry? |
| [15:22.17] | Sir,no,sir! |
| [15:26.77] | All right,you! |
| [15:28.04] | No. Look,I told you, I am not a part of this thing. |
| [15:31.94] | Look,Ross. I know you have issues with Carol and Susan,and I feel for you. |
| [15:36.55] | But if you don't help, I'm gonna take those hot dogs... |
| [15:39.85] | ...and create an appetizer called "Pigs In Ross." … |
| [15:43.92] | All right,ball a melon! |
| [15:45.59] | How come I'm stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon? |
| [15:54.06] | -How's it going? -Great! Right on schedule. |
| [15:57.07] | Got my little happy helpers. |
| [16:00.94] | That's fine. Whatever. |
| [16:03.54] | What's wrong? |
| [16:04.74] | Nothing. |
| [16:07.21] | Okay,everything. I think we're calling off the wedding. |
| [16:16.12] | Or something a little less selfish. |
| [16:19.00] | What's the matter? What happened? |
| [16:21.16] | My parents called to say they weren't coming. |
| [16:24.66] | I knew they were having trouble with this,but... |
| [16:28.30] | ...they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away. … |
| [16:32.80] | Susan and I fought because I said maybe we should call it off. |
| [16:36.84] | She said,"This isn't for them. It's for us." |
| [16:40.08] | And if I couldn't see that, we should cancel the wedding. “ |
| [16:43.65] | I don't know what to do. |
| [16:47.69] | I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right. |
| [16:52.39] | You do? 真 |
| [16:54.33] | Do you love her? And don't be too emphatic about this. |
| [17:00.63] | Of course I do. |
| [17:01.87] | Well then,that's it. |
| [17:03.67] | If George and Adelaide can't accept that,then the hell with them. |
| [17:09.34] | If my parents didn't want me to marry you... |
| [17:12.34] | ... no way that would've stopped me. … |
| [17:16.01] | Look,this is your wedding. |
| [17:18.62] | Do it. |
| [17:22.72] | You're right. Of course you're right. |
| [17:25.32] | So we're back on? |
| [17:27.12] | We're back on. |
| [17:28.53] | You heard the woman! Peel! Chop! Devil! |
| [17:33.50] | Can't believe I lost two minutes! |
| [17:46.54] | It just seems so futile. |
| [17:48.41] | You know? All these women,and nothing! |
| [17:54.65] | I feel like Superman without my powers,you know? |
| [17:58.89] | I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly. |
| [18:04.73] | Well,now you understand how I feel every single day. |
| [18:09.60] | The world is my lesbian wedding. |
| [18:23.78] | Butterscotch? |
| [18:26.42] | No one? |
| [19:05.49] | -Thank you. -Anytime. |
| [19:16.73] | Nothing makes God happier... |
| [19:18.84] | ...than when two people,any two people, come together in love. … |
| [19:23.41] | Friends,family, we're gathered here today... |
| [19:26.51] | ...to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony. … |
| [19:29.31] | Oh,my God! |
| [19:36.62] | She's gone! |
| [19:38.26] | She's gone! |
| [19:39.49] | She's gone. |
| [19:40.66] | Go ahead,get married. Go,go! |
| [19:45.03] | Strangers in the night |
| [19:48.27] | Exchanging glances |
| [19:50.77] | Wondering in the night |
| [19:52.67] | Would you look at them? |
| [19:54.27] | Yeah. Can't help but. |
| [20:02.28] | How's that pig-in-the-blanket working out for you? |
| [20:06.15] | I wrapped those bad boys. |
| [20:10.00] | I miss Rose. |
| [20:11.32] | Oh,yeah? |
| [20:12.39] | I know it's kind of weird,but she was a big part of my life.... |
| [20:17.49] | I don't know,I feel alone. |
| [20:20.03] | You know,I couldn't help overhearing what you just said. |
| [20:25.74] | I think it's time you forget about Rose, move on with your life. |
| [20:30.41] | How about we get you a drink? |
| [20:32.24] | Okay. So nice! |
| [20:42.19] | I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line,right? |
| [20:48.19] | Hey,Mom,having fun? |
| [20:50.06] | Am l! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. |
| [20:55.60] | And three other girls made eyes at me over at the buffet. |
| [20:59.34] | I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue... |
| [21:02.11] | ... but it's nice to know I have options. … |
| [21:07.54] | There's more alcohol,right? |
| [21:14.25] | How you doing? |
| [21:19.39] | You did a good thing today. |
| [21:26.36] | You wanna dance? |
| [21:30.60] | Come on. |
| [21:32.27] | I'll let you lead. |
| [21:52.79] | Look,penis,schmenis! |
| [21:54.73] | Okay? We're all people. |
| [22:06.37] | Which one of us is gonna be the first one to get married? |
| [22:10.54] | Mon,I was married. |
| [22:12.34] | -Yeah,me too,technically. -I had a wedding. |
| [22:15.41] | Just trying to start a discussion. |
| [22:18.65] | Which one do you think will be the last to get married? |
| [22:26.82] | Isn't Ben in this? |
| [22:28.36] | Of course! |
| [22:29.43] | Absolutely. |
| [00:25.-2] | Oh, right. |
| [02:26.-3] | Yes! |
| [03:11.-2] | Hi, neighbor. |
| [07:10.-2] | Pheebs? How long do you think this lady will be with us? |
| [07:18.-4] | Sit up! |
| [07:54.-4] | This is Joey. |
| [11:00.-2] | Damn! My mailorder grandfather hasn' t come yet. |
| [14:12.-3] | I' m dicing. I' m dicing. I don' t hear anything. |
| [14:19.-2] | ... there might be more. |
| [14:24.-2] | |
| [16:12.-4] | You' re still gonna pay me, right? |
| [18:28.-4] | All right, you' ll be sorry later. |
| [19:11.-3] | Ross. |
| [19:31.-1] | Now I' ve seen everything! |
| [21:28.-2] | No, that' s fine. |
| [00:02.11] | Okay, here' s his diaper bag... |
| [00:05.42] | ... and his Mr. Winky. |
| [00:08.55] | And... |
| [00:11.12] | ... him. Hi! |
| [00:13.43] | How did everything go? Great! |
| [00:15.76] | There was a projectile... |
| [00:18.43] | ... throwing up incident, but he started it. |
| [00:22.13] | We' ve gotta go. |
| [00:26.84] | I' ve got some news. It' s about us. |
| [00:29.47] | You and me? |
| [00:30.58] | No. Susan and me. |
| [00:32.74] | The other " us." |
| [00:38.92] | We' re getting married. |
| [00:46.16] | As in," I now pronounce you wife and wife" married? |
| [00:50.70] | We' d like you to come. We understand if you don' t want to. |
| [00:54.50] | Why wouldn' t I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding. |
| [00:59.84] | I just thought that |
| [01:01.34] | Why shouldn' t I be happy for you? What would it say about me... |
| [01:06.04] | ... if I couldn' t revel in your joy? |
| [01:09.31] | And I' m reveling, baby! Believe me! |
| [01:12.32] | Is your finger caught in that chair? |
| [01:16.69] | Want us to go? |
| [01:20.83] | The One With the Lesbian Wedding |
| [02:09.34] | This is cool. You' re actually on television. |
| [02:12.31] | I know. It really hit me last night. |
| [02:14.81] | I' m on Days of our Lives. |
| [02:18.58] | Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives. |
| [02:27.03] | What? |
| [02:28.13] | Carol and Susan' s caterer had a bike accident... |
| [02:31.36] | ... and she' s in a fullbody cast. |
| [02:37.30] | They asked me, which is cool since I' ve never catered... |
| [02:40.47] | ... and I need the money. Is this a problem? |
| [02:43.14] | Would it matter? You' re so great! |
| [02:45.44] | Thank you! |
| [02:46.88] | You' re really not going? I' m really not. |
| [02:49.68] | They already live together. Why do they need to get married? |
| [02:53.72] | They love each other. |
| [02:55.39] | They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them. |
| [02:59.66] | If you wanna call that a reason. |
| [03:03.03] | Who' s the bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:07.07] | The bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:14.47] | I thought you were over this. That has nothing to do with it. |
| [03:18.81] | If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn' t expect me to go. |
| [03:22.65] | If she were marrying a guy, she' d be the worst lesbian ever. |
| [03:29.42] | Did I miss it? |
| [03:31.02] | No, I' m on right after this guy shoots himself. |
| [03:35.19] | She' s pretty. |
| [03:37.33] | And she' s really nice. |
| [03:38.93] | She taught me about how to work with the cameras... |
| [03:42.07] | ... and smellthefart acting. |
| [03:47.01] | I' m sorry, what? Excuse me? |
| [03:49.61] | You got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes... |
| [03:53.08] | ... you need a minute to remember your next one. |
| [03:56.11] | So while you' re thinking... |
| [03:58.05] | ... you take this big pause where you look all intense. |
| [04:01.72] | Like this.... |
| [04:09.86] | Here' s my scene! Here' s my scene! |
| [04:14.57] | Mrs. Wallace? |
| [04:16.47] | Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister' s neurosurgeon. |
| [04:19.10] | Is she going to be all right? |
| [04:21.41] | I' m afraid the situation is much more dire than we' d expected. |
| [04:25.48] | Your sister' s suffering from a... |
| [04:33.72] | ... subcranial hematoma. |
| [04:37.59] | Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee. |
| [04:47.63] | Nice! |
| [04:50.30] | For a minute, I thought you were actually smelling something. |
| [04:56.64] | Do it again! All right! |
| [04:58.28] | That was so good! Do it again. |
| [05:01.45] | " Damn it, Braverman! It' s right there on the chart!" " |
| [05:05.92] | I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. |
| [05:10.09] | No, that' s me. |
| [05:11.32] | Oh, right. |
| [05:17.10] | Oh, thanks. Couldn' t.... |
| [05:21.83] | Is everything okay? |
| [05:23.13] | No. |
| [05:27.27] | One of my clients died on the massage table today. |
| [05:30.84] | Oh, my God! |
| [05:32.71] | That' s a little more relaxed than you want them to get. |
| [05:38.28] | She was, you know, 82 years old... |
| [05:41.35] | ... and her name was Mrs. Adelman. |
| [05:44.72] | Oh, honey. |
| [05:45.82] | It' s just so strange. You know... |
| [05:48.56] | ... she probably woke up this morning and thought... |
| [05:51.50] | ... I' ll have some breakfast, take a walk, then have my massage. |
| [05:55.47] | Little did she know God thought, " Okay, but that' s it." |
| [06:02.37] | Oh, but the weirdest things was... |
| [06:05.34] | ... I was cleansing her aura when it happened. |
| [06:08.81] | And when her spirit left her body... |
| [06:11.72] | ... I don' t think it went very far. |
| [06:15.00] | What do you mean? |
| [06:16.92] | I think it went into me. |
| [06:28.10] | This is so hard. |
| [06:29.53] | I can' t decide between lamb or duck. |
| [06:31.84] | Well, lambs are scarier. |
| [06:33.74] | Or the movie would' ve been called Silence of the Ducks. |
| [06:38.71] | Okay, who ordered what? |
| [06:40.51] | I had the halfdrunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. |
| [06:45.38] | And this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf? |
| [06:48.89] | Oh, God. |
| [06:50.72] | You' re so uptight about your mom coming. |
| [06:53.06] | I know. I just don' t want her to think that because... |
| [06:56.59] | ... I didn' t marry Barry my life is crap. |
| [06:59.30] | Talk about crap, just listen to Stella Neidman... |
| [07:02.37] | ... tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. |
| [07:14.28] | I don' t know. She obviously has some unfinished business. |
| [07:22.39] | There she is! |
| [07:23.79] | Mom! Hey, sweetie! |
| [07:31.80] | So this is where you work! |
| [07:34.60] | Oh, it' s wonderful! |
| [07:37.00] | Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? |
| [07:41.51] | I guess that' s the fun. |
| [07:43.44] | Pretty much. Here, meet my friends. |
| [07:45.68] | Monica! You look gorgeous! |
| [07:48.81] | Oh, my! The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten. |
| [07:55.69] | This is Phoebe. |
| [07:57.02] | This is Chandler. |
| [07:58.49] | You remember Ross? |
| [07:59.79] | Oh, hello, Ross. |
| [08:01.19] | Mrs. Greene. |
| [08:04.60] | What do you think of my daughter, in the apron... |
| [08:07.87] | ... with the big job! |
| [08:09.43] | Oh, Mom! |
| [08:12.04] | If you didn' t pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. |
| [08:17.21] | Believe me, sometimes that happens. |
| [08:21.78] | This is just so exciting! You know, I never worked. |
| [08:25.45] | I went from my father' s house to the sorority house... |
| [08:28.85] | ... to my husband' s house. I am just so proud of you! |
| [08:32.79] | Really? |
| [08:34.89] | I know who you remind me of. |
| [08:37.46] | Evelyn Durmer. |
| [08:38.80] | That' s before the lousy facelift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales. |
| [08:47.24] | Pheebs? Who' s Evelyn Durmer? |
| [08:51.01] | I don' t know. Who' s Soupy Sales? |
| [08:56.25] | Oh, my God! |
| [08:57.72] | There' s an unattractive nude man playing the cello. |
| [09:02.42] | Just be glad he' s not playing a smaller instrument. |
| [09:09.69] | You have some life here, sweetie! |
| [09:12.06] | Mom, I realize you were upset when I didn' t marry Barry... |
| [09:15.73] | ... and get the house in the suburbs with all the security. |
| [09:19.57] | This is just so much better for me. |
| [09:21.84] | I know. You didn' t love Barry, honey. |
| [09:26.01] | And I' ve never seen you this happy. |
| [09:28.78] | I look at you and I think, " This is what I want." |
| [09:34.42] | For me. |
| [09:37.05] | Well, not just for you. |
| [09:39.72] | What do you mean? |
| [09:41.93] | I' m considering leaving your father. |
| [09:48.93] | All right, tell me if this is too cute. |
| [09:51.54] | Lesbian wedding... chicken breasts. |
| [09:58.41] | Oh, God. I think I' m gonna be sick. |
| [10:01.75] | What? It' s not like I' m putting little nipples on them. |
| [10:08.35] | You had no idea? None. |
| [10:11.12] | They didn' t fight? |
| [10:12.79] | No, they didn' t even talk to each other. |
| [10:15.73] | How was I suppose to know they were having problems? |
| [10:20.06] | You know, in my day, divorce was not an option. |
| [10:24.70] | Hey, look who' s up! |
| [10:28.81] | I just can' t believe this is happening! |
| [10:31.61] | When I was little, all parents got divorced. |
| [10:34.55] | I figured as an adult, I wouldn' t have to worry about it. |
| [10:37.88] | Can' t you look at this as flattering? |
| [10:41.00] | She just wants to be like you. |
| [10:43.29] | Well, couldn' t she have just copied my haircut? |
| [10:47.76] | When my parents divorced, they sent me to a shrink... |
| [10:50.83] | ... and she told me that kids blame themselves. |
| [10:54.13] | But in your case, it' s actually kind of true. |
| [10:57.84] | Oh, that' s him. |
| [11:04.34] | Phoebe? Hi, Mr. Adelman. |
| [11:06.34] | Nice to see you. Thanks for coming. |
| [11:08.48] | That' s okay. Although you did cut into my busy day of sitting. |
| [11:14.52] | Do you wanna sit? |
| [11:16.09] | No, I spent most of my morning trying to stand up. |
| [11:21.53] | What can I do for you, my dear? |
| [11:23.59] | Okay, I don' t know how to say this, but.... |
| [11:26.93] | I think when your wife' s spirit left her body... |
| [11:29.87] | ... it kind of stuck around... |
| [11:32.60] | ... in me. |
| [11:34.34] | You' re saying my wife is in you? |
| [11:36.71] | Yeah. You don' t have to believe me, but... |
| [11:40.01] | ... can you think of any unfinished business she had? |
| [11:43.51] | Any reason to hang around? |
| [11:45.72] | I don' t know what to say. |
| [11:47.62] | All I can think of is that... |
| [11:50.12] | ... she used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything. |
| [11:54.69] | Everything? Everything. |
| [11:57.29] | That' s a lot of stuff. |
| [11:59.03] | Oh, wait, l.... |
| [12:00.36] | I remember she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. |
| [12:13.48] | I' m sorry. There' s laughing in my head. |
| [12:19.02] | Worth a shot, huh? |
| [12:26.26] | Look at this! |
| [12:28.36] | These are all Halloween, three years ago. |
| [12:31.56] | Oh, and look, here' s Barry. |
| [12:33.70] | He came straight from the office? |
| [12:35.93] | Oh, no. That was his costume. |
| [12:39.87] | See, he' s actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. |
| [12:45.41] | You guys? |
| [12:46.71] | Remember when I said that I don' t need your help? |
| [12:50.01] | Actually, I think you said... |
| [12:51.72] | ... " Don' t touch that and get out of my kitchen." " |
| [12:55.05] | Really? Weird. Anyway.... |
| [12:58.59] | I planned really well. I planned and planned. |
| [13:01.76] | I just didn' t plan enough time to do it. |
| [13:04.80] | You want some help? lf you want. |
| [13:12.30] | What a day! |
| [13:13.74] | I took her everywhere. |
| [13:18.41] | The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center... |
| [13:21.65] | ... the Statue of Liberty. |
| [13:23.31] | She' s still with you? |
| [13:24.88] | Yes. I guess she hasn' t seen everything yet. |
| [13:29.65] | Be right back. She has to go to the bathroom again. |
| [13:34.89] | Such a pretty face! |
| [13:40.80] | Oh, this is so much fun! Just the girls! |
| [13:44.50] | Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana? |
| [13:48.57] | God! |
| [13:52.64] | Look, no one' s smoking pot around all this food. |
| [13:56.01] | Well, that' s fine. |
| [13:58.15] | I never did it. I just thought I might. |
| [14:03.02] | What' s new in sex? |
| [14:07.12] | What' s new in sex? |
| [14:09.19] | The only man I' ve been with is your father. |
| [14:15.33] | This is no offense to your dad, but I was thinking... |
| [14:20.44] | You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. |
| [14:25.14] | You come here and drop this bomb on me before you even tell Daddy. |
| [14:29.45] | Do you want my blessing? Want me to talk you out of it? |
| [14:33.22] | Then what do you want? |
| [14:34.89] | I guess I figured you would understand. |
| [14:37.39] | Why on earth would I understand this? |
| [14:41.23] | You didn' t marry your Barry, honey. |
| [14:44.00] | But I married mine. |
| [14:52.57] | We' re in trouble. We' ve only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. |
| [14:56.54] | Move, move, move! |
| [14:58.74] | I feel like you should have German subtitles. |
| [15:03.91] | Joey, speed it up! |
| [15:05.52] | I' m sorry! It' s the pigs! They' re reluctant to get in the blanket! |
| [15:10.72] | How did this happen? I thought you had this planned out. |
| [15:14.56] | Do you want me to cry? |
| [15:17.39] | Is that what you want? |
| [15:19.56] | Do you wanna see me cry? |
| [15:22.17] | Sir, no, sir! |
| [15:26.77] | All right, you! |
| [15:28.04] | No. Look, I told you, I am not a part of this thing. |
| [15:31.94] | Look, Ross. I know you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you. |
| [15:36.55] | But if you don' t help, I' m gonna take those hot dogs... |
| [15:39.85] | ... and create an appetizer called " Pigs In Ross." |
| [15:43.92] | All right, ball a melon! |
| [15:45.59] | How come I' m stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon? |
| [15:54.06] | How' s it going? Great! Right on schedule. |
| [15:57.07] | Got my little happy helpers. |
| [16:00.94] | That' s fine. Whatever. |
| [16:03.54] | What' s wrong? |
| [16:04.74] | Nothing. |
| [16:07.21] | Okay, everything. I think we' re calling off the wedding. |
| [16:16.12] | Or something a little less selfish. |
| [16:19.00] | What' s the matter? What happened? |
| [16:21.16] | My parents called to say they weren' t coming. |
| [16:24.66] | I knew they were having trouble with this, but... |
| [16:28.30] | ... they' re my parents. They' re supposed to give me away. |
| [16:32.80] | Susan and I fought because I said maybe we should call it off. |
| [16:36.84] | She said," This isn' t for them. It' s for us." |
| [16:40.08] | And if I couldn' t see that, we should cancel the wedding. " |
| [16:43.65] | I don' t know what to do. |
| [16:47.69] | I can' t believe I' m gonna say this, but I think Susan' s right. |
| [16:52.39] | You do? zhen |
| [16:54.33] | Do you love her? And don' t be too emphatic about this. |
| [17:00.63] | Of course I do. |
| [17:01.87] | Well then, that' s it. |
| [17:03.67] | If George and Adelaide can' t accept that, then the hell with them. |
| [17:09.34] | If my parents didn' t want me to marry you... |
| [17:12.34] | ... no way that would' ve stopped me. |
| [17:16.01] | Look, this is your wedding. |
| [17:18.62] | Do it. |
| [17:22.72] | You' re right. Of course you' re right. |
| [17:25.32] | So we' re back on? |
| [17:27.12] | We' re back on. |
| [17:28.53] | You heard the woman! Peel! Chop! Devil! |
| [17:33.50] | Can' t believe I lost two minutes! |
| [17:46.54] | It just seems so futile. |
| [17:48.41] | You know? All these women, and nothing! |
| [17:54.65] | I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? |
| [17:58.89] | I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly. |
| [18:04.73] | Well, now you understand how I feel every single day. |
| [18:09.60] | The world is my lesbian wedding. |
| [18:23.78] | Butterscotch? |
| [18:26.42] | No one? |
| [19:05.49] | Thank you. Anytime. |
| [19:16.73] | Nothing makes God happier... |
| [19:18.84] | ... than when two people, any two people, come together in love. |
| [19:23.41] | Friends, family, we' re gathered here today... |
| [19:26.51] | ... to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony. |
| [19:29.31] | Oh, my God! |
| [19:36.62] | She' s gone! |
| [19:38.26] | She' s gone! |
| [19:39.49] | She' s gone. |
| [19:40.66] | Go ahead, get married. Go, go! |
| [19:45.03] | Strangers in the night |
| [19:48.27] | Exchanging glances |
| [19:50.77] | Wondering in the night |
| [19:52.67] | Would you look at them? |
| [19:54.27] | Yeah. Can' t help but. |
| [20:02.28] | How' s that pigintheblanket working out for you? |
| [20:06.15] | I wrapped those bad boys. |
| [20:10.00] | I miss Rose. |
| [20:11.32] | Oh, yeah? |
| [20:12.39] | I know it' s kind of weird, but she was a big part of my life.... |
| [20:17.49] | I don' t know, I feel alone. |
| [20:20.03] | You know, I couldn' t help overhearing what you just said. |
| [20:25.74] | I think it' s time you forget about Rose, move on with your life. |
| [20:30.41] | How about we get you a drink? |
| [20:32.24] | Okay. So nice! |
| [20:42.19] | I shouldn' t even bother coming up with a line, right? |
| [20:48.19] | Hey, Mom, having fun? |
| [20:50.06] | Am l! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. |
| [20:55.60] | And three other girls made eyes at me over at the buffet. |
| [20:59.34] | I' m not saying it' s something I wanna pursue... |
| [21:02.11] | ... but it' s nice to know I have options. |
| [21:07.54] | There' s more alcohol, right? |
| [21:14.25] | How you doing? |
| [21:19.39] | You did a good thing today. |
| [21:26.36] | You wanna dance? |
| [21:30.60] | Come on. |
| [21:32.27] | I' ll let you lead. |
| [21:52.79] | Look, penis, schmenis! |
| [21:54.73] | Okay? We' re all people. |
| [22:06.37] | Which one of us is gonna be the first one to get married? |
| [22:10.54] | Mon, I was married. |
| [22:12.34] | Yeah, me too, technically. I had a wedding. |
| [22:15.41] | Just trying to start a discussion. |
| [22:18.65] | Which one do you think will be the last to get married? |
| [22:26.82] | Isn' t Ben in this? |
| [22:28.36] | Of course! |
| [22:29.43] | Absolutely. |
| [00:25.-2] | Oh, right. |
| [02:26.-3] | Yes! |
| [03:11.-2] | Hi, neighbor. |
| [07:10.-2] | Pheebs? How long do you think this lady will be with us? |
| [07:18.-4] | Sit up! |
| [07:54.-4] | This is Joey. |
| [11:00.-2] | Damn! My mailorder grandfather hasn' t come yet. |
| [14:12.-3] | I' m dicing. I' m dicing. I don' t hear anything. |
| [14:19.-2] | ... there might be more. |
| [14:24.-2] | |
| [16:12.-4] | You' re still gonna pay me, right? |
| [18:28.-4] | All right, you' ll be sorry later. |
| [19:11.-3] | Ross. |
| [19:31.-1] | Now I' ve seen everything! |
| [21:28.-2] | No, that' s fine. |
| [00:02.11] | Okay, here' s his diaper bag... |
| [00:05.42] | ... and his Mr. Winky. |
| [00:08.55] | And... |
| [00:11.12] | ... him. Hi! |
| [00:13.43] | How did everything go? Great! |
| [00:15.76] | There was a projectile... |
| [00:18.43] | ... throwing up incident, but he started it. |
| [00:22.13] | We' ve gotta go. |
| [00:26.84] | I' ve got some news. It' s about us. |
| [00:29.47] | You and me? |
| [00:30.58] | No. Susan and me. |
| [00:32.74] | The other " us." |
| [00:38.92] | We' re getting married. |
| [00:46.16] | As in," I now pronounce you wife and wife" married? |
| [00:50.70] | We' d like you to come. We understand if you don' t want to. |
| [00:54.50] | Why wouldn' t I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding. |
| [00:59.84] | I just thought that |
| [01:01.34] | Why shouldn' t I be happy for you? What would it say about me... |
| [01:06.04] | ... if I couldn' t revel in your joy? |
| [01:09.31] | And I' m reveling, baby! Believe me! |
| [01:12.32] | Is your finger caught in that chair? |
| [01:16.69] | Want us to go? |
| [01:20.83] | The One With the Lesbian Wedding |
| [02:09.34] | This is cool. You' re actually on television. |
| [02:12.31] | I know. It really hit me last night. |
| [02:14.81] | I' m on Days of our Lives. |
| [02:18.58] | Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives. |
| [02:27.03] | What? |
| [02:28.13] | Carol and Susan' s caterer had a bike accident... |
| [02:31.36] | ... and she' s in a fullbody cast. |
| [02:37.30] | They asked me, which is cool since I' ve never catered... |
| [02:40.47] | ... and I need the money. Is this a problem? |
| [02:43.14] | Would it matter? You' re so great! |
| [02:45.44] | Thank you! |
| [02:46.88] | You' re really not going? I' m really not. |
| [02:49.68] | They already live together. Why do they need to get married? |
| [02:53.72] | They love each other. |
| [02:55.39] | They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them. |
| [02:59.66] | If you wanna call that a reason. |
| [03:03.03] | Who' s the bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:07.07] | The bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:14.47] | I thought you were over this. That has nothing to do with it. |
| [03:18.81] | If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn' t expect me to go. |
| [03:22.65] | If she were marrying a guy, she' d be the worst lesbian ever. |
| [03:29.42] | Did I miss it? |
| [03:31.02] | No, I' m on right after this guy shoots himself. |
| [03:35.19] | She' s pretty. |
| [03:37.33] | And she' s really nice. |
| [03:38.93] | She taught me about how to work with the cameras... |
| [03:42.07] | ... and smellthefart acting. |
| [03:47.01] | I' m sorry, what? Excuse me? |
| [03:49.61] | You got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes... |
| [03:53.08] | ... you need a minute to remember your next one. |
| [03:56.11] | So while you' re thinking... |
| [03:58.05] | ... you take this big pause where you look all intense. |
| [04:01.72] | Like this.... |
| [04:09.86] | Here' s my scene! Here' s my scene! |
| [04:14.57] | Mrs. Wallace? |
| [04:16.47] | Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister' s neurosurgeon. |
| [04:19.10] | Is she going to be all right? |
| [04:21.41] | I' m afraid the situation is much more dire than we' d expected. |
| [04:25.48] | Your sister' s suffering from a... |
| [04:33.72] | ... subcranial hematoma. |
| [04:37.59] | Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee. |
| [04:47.63] | Nice! |
| [04:50.30] | For a minute, I thought you were actually smelling something. |
| [04:56.64] | Do it again! All right! |
| [04:58.28] | That was so good! Do it again. |
| [05:01.45] | " Damn it, Braverman! It' s right there on the chart!" " |
| [05:05.92] | I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. |
| [05:10.09] | No, that' s me. |
| [05:11.32] | Oh, right. |
| [05:17.10] | Oh, thanks. Couldn' t.... |
| [05:21.83] | Is everything okay? |
| [05:23.13] | No. |
| [05:27.27] | One of my clients died on the massage table today. |
| [05:30.84] | Oh, my God! |
| [05:32.71] | That' s a little more relaxed than you want them to get. |
| [05:38.28] | She was, you know, 82 years old... |
| [05:41.35] | ... and her name was Mrs. Adelman. |
| [05:44.72] | Oh, honey. |
| [05:45.82] | It' s just so strange. You know... |
| [05:48.56] | ... she probably woke up this morning and thought... |
| [05:51.50] | ... I' ll have some breakfast, take a walk, then have my massage. |
| [05:55.47] | Little did she know God thought, " Okay, but that' s it." |
| [06:02.37] | Oh, but the weirdest things was... |
| [06:05.34] | ... I was cleansing her aura when it happened. |
| [06:08.81] | And when her spirit left her body... |
| [06:11.72] | ... I don' t think it went very far. |
| [06:15.00] | What do you mean? |
| [06:16.92] | I think it went into me. |
| [06:28.10] | This is so hard. |
| [06:29.53] | I can' t decide between lamb or duck. |
| [06:31.84] | Well, lambs are scarier. |
| [06:33.74] | Or the movie would' ve been called Silence of the Ducks. |
| [06:38.71] | Okay, who ordered what? |
| [06:40.51] | I had the halfdrunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. |
| [06:45.38] | And this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf? |
| [06:48.89] | Oh, God. |
| [06:50.72] | You' re so uptight about your mom coming. |
| [06:53.06] | I know. I just don' t want her to think that because... |
| [06:56.59] | ... I didn' t marry Barry my life is crap. |
| [06:59.30] | Talk about crap, just listen to Stella Neidman... |
| [07:02.37] | ... tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. |
| [07:14.28] | I don' t know. She obviously has some unfinished business. |
| [07:22.39] | There she is! |
| [07:23.79] | Mom! Hey, sweetie! |
| [07:31.80] | So this is where you work! |
| [07:34.60] | Oh, it' s wonderful! |
| [07:37.00] | Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? |
| [07:41.51] | I guess that' s the fun. |
| [07:43.44] | Pretty much. Here, meet my friends. |
| [07:45.68] | Monica! You look gorgeous! |
| [07:48.81] | Oh, my! The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten. |
| [07:55.69] | This is Phoebe. |
| [07:57.02] | This is Chandler. |
| [07:58.49] | You remember Ross? |
| [07:59.79] | Oh, hello, Ross. |
| [08:01.19] | Mrs. Greene. |
| [08:04.60] | What do you think of my daughter, in the apron... |
| [08:07.87] | ... with the big job! |
| [08:09.43] | Oh, Mom! |
| [08:12.04] | If you didn' t pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. |
| [08:17.21] | Believe me, sometimes that happens. |
| [08:21.78] | This is just so exciting! You know, I never worked. |
| [08:25.45] | I went from my father' s house to the sorority house... |
| [08:28.85] | ... to my husband' s house. I am just so proud of you! |
| [08:32.79] | Really? |
| [08:34.89] | I know who you remind me of. |
| [08:37.46] | Evelyn Durmer. |
| [08:38.80] | That' s before the lousy facelift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales. |
| [08:47.24] | Pheebs? Who' s Evelyn Durmer? |
| [08:51.01] | I don' t know. Who' s Soupy Sales? |
| [08:56.25] | Oh, my God! |
| [08:57.72] | There' s an unattractive nude man playing the cello. |
| [09:02.42] | Just be glad he' s not playing a smaller instrument. |
| [09:09.69] | You have some life here, sweetie! |
| [09:12.06] | Mom, I realize you were upset when I didn' t marry Barry... |
| [09:15.73] | ... and get the house in the suburbs with all the security. |
| [09:19.57] | This is just so much better for me. |
| [09:21.84] | I know. You didn' t love Barry, honey. |
| [09:26.01] | And I' ve never seen you this happy. |
| [09:28.78] | I look at you and I think, " This is what I want." |
| [09:34.42] | For me. |
| [09:37.05] | Well, not just for you. |
| [09:39.72] | What do you mean? |
| [09:41.93] | I' m considering leaving your father. |
| [09:48.93] | All right, tell me if this is too cute. |
| [09:51.54] | Lesbian wedding... chicken breasts. |
| [09:58.41] | Oh, God. I think I' m gonna be sick. |
| [10:01.75] | What? It' s not like I' m putting little nipples on them. |
| [10:08.35] | You had no idea? None. |
| [10:11.12] | They didn' t fight? |
| [10:12.79] | No, they didn' t even talk to each other. |
| [10:15.73] | How was I suppose to know they were having problems? |
| [10:20.06] | You know, in my day, divorce was not an option. |
| [10:24.70] | Hey, look who' s up! |
| [10:28.81] | I just can' t believe this is happening! |
| [10:31.61] | When I was little, all parents got divorced. |
| [10:34.55] | I figured as an adult, I wouldn' t have to worry about it. |
| [10:37.88] | Can' t you look at this as flattering? |
| [10:41.00] | She just wants to be like you. |
| [10:43.29] | Well, couldn' t she have just copied my haircut? |
| [10:47.76] | When my parents divorced, they sent me to a shrink... |
| [10:50.83] | ... and she told me that kids blame themselves. |
| [10:54.13] | But in your case, it' s actually kind of true. |
| [10:57.84] | Oh, that' s him. |
| [11:04.34] | Phoebe? Hi, Mr. Adelman. |
| [11:06.34] | Nice to see you. Thanks for coming. |
| [11:08.48] | That' s okay. Although you did cut into my busy day of sitting. |
| [11:14.52] | Do you wanna sit? |
| [11:16.09] | No, I spent most of my morning trying to stand up. |
| [11:21.53] | What can I do for you, my dear? |
| [11:23.59] | Okay, I don' t know how to say this, but.... |
| [11:26.93] | I think when your wife' s spirit left her body... |
| [11:29.87] | ... it kind of stuck around... |
| [11:32.60] | ... in me. |
| [11:34.34] | You' re saying my wife is in you? |
| [11:36.71] | Yeah. You don' t have to believe me, but... |
| [11:40.01] | ... can you think of any unfinished business she had? |
| [11:43.51] | Any reason to hang around? |
| [11:45.72] | I don' t know what to say. |
| [11:47.62] | All I can think of is that... |
| [11:50.12] | ... she used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything. |
| [11:54.69] | Everything? Everything. |
| [11:57.29] | That' s a lot of stuff. |
| [11:59.03] | Oh, wait, l.... |
| [12:00.36] | I remember she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. |
| [12:13.48] | I' m sorry. There' s laughing in my head. |
| [12:19.02] | Worth a shot, huh? |
| [12:26.26] | Look at this! |
| [12:28.36] | These are all Halloween, three years ago. |
| [12:31.56] | Oh, and look, here' s Barry. |
| [12:33.70] | He came straight from the office? |
| [12:35.93] | Oh, no. That was his costume. |
| [12:39.87] | See, he' s actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. |
| [12:45.41] | You guys? |
| [12:46.71] | Remember when I said that I don' t need your help? |
| [12:50.01] | Actually, I think you said... |
| [12:51.72] | ... " Don' t touch that and get out of my kitchen." " |
| [12:55.05] | Really? Weird. Anyway.... |
| [12:58.59] | I planned really well. I planned and planned. |
| [13:01.76] | I just didn' t plan enough time to do it. |
| [13:04.80] | You want some help? lf you want. |
| [13:12.30] | What a day! |
| [13:13.74] | I took her everywhere. |
| [13:18.41] | The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center... |
| [13:21.65] | ... the Statue of Liberty. |
| [13:23.31] | She' s still with you? |
| [13:24.88] | Yes. I guess she hasn' t seen everything yet. |
| [13:29.65] | Be right back. She has to go to the bathroom again. |
| [13:34.89] | Such a pretty face! |
| [13:40.80] | Oh, this is so much fun! Just the girls! |
| [13:44.50] | Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana? |
| [13:48.57] | God! |
| [13:52.64] | Look, no one' s smoking pot around all this food. |
| [13:56.01] | Well, that' s fine. |
| [13:58.15] | I never did it. I just thought I might. |
| [14:03.02] | What' s new in sex? |
| [14:07.12] | What' s new in sex? |
| [14:09.19] | The only man I' ve been with is your father. |
| [14:15.33] | This is no offense to your dad, but I was thinking... |
| [14:20.44] | You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. |
| [14:25.14] | You come here and drop this bomb on me before you even tell Daddy. |
| [14:29.45] | Do you want my blessing? Want me to talk you out of it? |
| [14:33.22] | Then what do you want? |
| [14:34.89] | I guess I figured you would understand. |
| [14:37.39] | Why on earth would I understand this? |
| [14:41.23] | You didn' t marry your Barry, honey. |
| [14:44.00] | But I married mine. |
| [14:52.57] | We' re in trouble. We' ve only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. |
| [14:56.54] | Move, move, move! |
| [14:58.74] | I feel like you should have German subtitles. |
| [15:03.91] | Joey, speed it up! |
| [15:05.52] | I' m sorry! It' s the pigs! They' re reluctant to get in the blanket! |
| [15:10.72] | How did this happen? I thought you had this planned out. |
| [15:14.56] | Do you want me to cry? |
| [15:17.39] | Is that what you want? |
| [15:19.56] | Do you wanna see me cry? |
| [15:22.17] | Sir, no, sir! |
| [15:26.77] | All right, you! |
| [15:28.04] | No. Look, I told you, I am not a part of this thing. |
| [15:31.94] | Look, Ross. I know you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you. |
| [15:36.55] | But if you don' t help, I' m gonna take those hot dogs... |
| [15:39.85] | ... and create an appetizer called " Pigs In Ross." |
| [15:43.92] | All right, ball a melon! |
| [15:45.59] | How come I' m stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon? |
| [15:54.06] | How' s it going? Great! Right on schedule. |
| [15:57.07] | Got my little happy helpers. |
| [16:00.94] | That' s fine. Whatever. |
| [16:03.54] | What' s wrong? |
| [16:04.74] | Nothing. |
| [16:07.21] | Okay, everything. I think we' re calling off the wedding. |
| [16:16.12] | Or something a little less selfish. |
| [16:19.00] | What' s the matter? What happened? |
| [16:21.16] | My parents called to say they weren' t coming. |
| [16:24.66] | I knew they were having trouble with this, but... |
| [16:28.30] | ... they' re my parents. They' re supposed to give me away. |
| [16:32.80] | Susan and I fought because I said maybe we should call it off. |
| [16:36.84] | She said," This isn' t for them. It' s for us." |
| [16:40.08] | And if I couldn' t see that, we should cancel the wedding. " |
| [16:43.65] | I don' t know what to do. |
| [16:47.69] | I can' t believe I' m gonna say this, but I think Susan' s right. |
| [16:52.39] | You do? zhēn |
| [16:54.33] | Do you love her? And don' t be too emphatic about this. |
| [17:00.63] | Of course I do. |
| [17:01.87] | Well then, that' s it. |
| [17:03.67] | If George and Adelaide can' t accept that, then the hell with them. |
| [17:09.34] | If my parents didn' t want me to marry you... |
| [17:12.34] | ... no way that would' ve stopped me. |
| [17:16.01] | Look, this is your wedding. |
| [17:18.62] | Do it. |
| [17:22.72] | You' re right. Of course you' re right. |
| [17:25.32] | So we' re back on? |
| [17:27.12] | We' re back on. |
| [17:28.53] | You heard the woman! Peel! Chop! Devil! |
| [17:33.50] | Can' t believe I lost two minutes! |
| [17:46.54] | It just seems so futile. |
| [17:48.41] | You know? All these women, and nothing! |
| [17:54.65] | I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? |
| [17:58.89] | I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly. |
| [18:04.73] | Well, now you understand how I feel every single day. |
| [18:09.60] | The world is my lesbian wedding. |
| [18:23.78] | Butterscotch? |
| [18:26.42] | No one? |
| [19:05.49] | Thank you. Anytime. |
| [19:16.73] | Nothing makes God happier... |
| [19:18.84] | ... than when two people, any two people, come together in love. |
| [19:23.41] | Friends, family, we' re gathered here today... |
| [19:26.51] | ... to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony. |
| [19:29.31] | Oh, my God! |
| [19:36.62] | She' s gone! |
| [19:38.26] | She' s gone! |
| [19:39.49] | She' s gone. |
| [19:40.66] | Go ahead, get married. Go, go! |
| [19:45.03] | Strangers in the night |
| [19:48.27] | Exchanging glances |
| [19:50.77] | Wondering in the night |
| [19:52.67] | Would you look at them? |
| [19:54.27] | Yeah. Can' t help but. |
| [20:02.28] | How' s that pigintheblanket working out for you? |
| [20:06.15] | I wrapped those bad boys. |
| [20:10.00] | I miss Rose. |
| [20:11.32] | Oh, yeah? |
| [20:12.39] | I know it' s kind of weird, but she was a big part of my life.... |
| [20:17.49] | I don' t know, I feel alone. |
| [20:20.03] | You know, I couldn' t help overhearing what you just said. |
| [20:25.74] | I think it' s time you forget about Rose, move on with your life. |
| [20:30.41] | How about we get you a drink? |
| [20:32.24] | Okay. So nice! |
| [20:42.19] | I shouldn' t even bother coming up with a line, right? |
| [20:48.19] | Hey, Mom, having fun? |
| [20:50.06] | Am l! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. |
| [20:55.60] | And three other girls made eyes at me over at the buffet. |
| [20:59.34] | I' m not saying it' s something I wanna pursue... |
| [21:02.11] | ... but it' s nice to know I have options. |
| [21:07.54] | There' s more alcohol, right? |
| [21:14.25] | How you doing? |
| [21:19.39] | You did a good thing today. |
| [21:26.36] | You wanna dance? |
| [21:30.60] | Come on. |
| [21:32.27] | I' ll let you lead. |
| [21:52.79] | Look, penis, schmenis! |
| [21:54.73] | Okay? We' re all people. |
| [22:06.37] | Which one of us is gonna be the first one to get married? |
| [22:10.54] | Mon, I was married. |
| [22:12.34] | Yeah, me too, technically. I had a wedding. |
| [22:15.41] | Just trying to start a discussion. |
| [22:18.65] | Which one do you think will be the last to get married? |
| [22:26.82] | Isn' t Ben in this? |
| [22:28.36] | Of course! |
| [22:29.43] | Absolutely. |
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