Friends S01E22

Friends S01E22 Lyrics

Song Friends S01E22
Artist 英语听力
Album 老友记(第一季)
Download Image LRC TXT
[00:02.910] -Shut up. -Tell me what?
[00:05.320] You won't look at him.
[00:06.920] I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
[00:11.090] All right. All right. Last night,I had a dream...
[00:15.830] ...that you and I were
[00:18.400] Doing it on this table.
[00:22.500] Excellent dream score.
[00:28.910] Why would you dream that?
[00:32.410] More importantly...
[00:34.010] ...was I any good?
[00:36.720] Well,you were pretty damn good.
[00:39.720] Interesting. In my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate.
[00:45.220] Last night,you seemed to know your way around the table.
[00:52.300] I love it when we share.
[00:58.600] You okay?
[00:59:000] I cant believe you two have sex in the dream!
[01:03.710] Sorry,it was a one-time thing.
[01:05.880] I was very drunk,and it was someone else's subconscious.
[01:10.820] The One With The lck Factor
[01:59.330] Hello,Rachel.
[02:01.200] Get off.
[02:05.270] Ooh,give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?
[02:15.780] Why would you want to?
[02:18.650] For short-term work. Till I get back my massage clients.
[02:22.820] Pirates again?
[02:25.060] No. Nothing like that.
[02:27.730] I'm just such a dummy.
[02:30.130] I taught a "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. And they are.
[02:36.100] Hey,Chan,she could work for you.
[02:39.100] Thanks,Joey. That's a good idea.
[02:41.910] I could. I could do it. What is it?
[02:45.010] My secretary's gonna be out. She's having one of her boobs reduced.
[02:50.480] It's a whole big boob story.
[02:53.320] -I could be a secretary. -I don't know if it'd be your thing... -
[02:58.000] ... because it involves being normal for a large portion of the day. -
[03:03.290] I could do that.
[03:06.560] -What's that? -My new beeper.
[03:08.930] Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?
[03:11.640] Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help. They're still extinct.
[03:17.240] It's for when Carol goes into labor.
[03:25.420] A cool number and a possible name for the kid.
[03:29.090] -See you later. -Off to see young Ethan? -
[03:32.220] Thank you.
[03:34.490] How young is young Ethan? Young?
[03:38.100] He's our age.
[03:40.570] When we were....
[03:45.900] -He's a senior in college. -College? -
[03:49.670] Rob that cradle.
[03:52.580] He's smart and mature and grown-up.
[03:56.410] Mature and grown-up,he's a big boy.
[04:01.690] This man-child has no problem with how old you are?
[04:04.860] No,of course not. It's not even an issue...
[04:08.260] ... because I said I was 22.
[04:10.130] -You what? -What?
[04:11.630] -Oh,I can't pass for 22? -Well,maybe 25,26.
[04:15.430] -I am 26. -There you go.
[04:30.920] Can you hear that?
[04:36.550] That'll stop when you pick up the phone.
[04:41.460] -Oh,I'm on. -Okay.
[04:45.500] Mr. Bing's office.
[04:49.800] -Sorry,he's in a meeting. -I'm not in a meeting. -
[04:54.070] Will he know what this is in reference to?
[04:58.810] I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye.
[05:05.080] Ross says hi.
[05:07.620] This is so fun. What do we do now?
[05:10.460] Well,now I actually have to get to work.
[05:13.520] "Most likely."
[05:19.200] Okay,I'm gonna be out there.
[05:21.630] All right. Bye-bye.
[05:23.770] Bye-bye.
[05:30.880] -Yes? -What you doing?
[05:40.550] BeIt's too tight. Gotta change.
[05:43.090] Did I turn the fish? Nope,because I made lasagna.
[05:47.790] -Am I out of control? -Just a touch. -
[05:51.660] I don't understand. You've been dating this guy since...
[05:55.630] ... his midterms. …
[05:58.240] Why,all of a sudden, are you so...?
[06:04.810] -What? -Could tonight be the night?
[06:11.020] I don't know. He's a great guy...
[06:14.190] ...and I love being with him. But,you know...
[06:17.860] ...things happen when they happen. You don't plan these things.
[06:23.130] -So,did you shave your legs? -Yeah. -
[06:29.930] Would you let it go? It was just a dream.
[06:33.140] It doesn't mean
[06:36.710] This is it. It's baby time!
[06:39.240] All right,relax. Just relax. Be cool.
[06:47.590] No,Andre is not here. Third time today.
[06:52.560] Yes,I am sure.
[06:55.330] I do not perform those kind of services.
[06:58.930] Services?
[07:00.670] Oh,services.
[07:02.570] Yeah,you want 55-JUMBO.
[07:09.640] That's right.
[07:11.310] That's right. JUMBO with a "U," sir.
[07:14.580] You don't want me.
[07:16.350] Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment.
[07:20.790] Alrighty,bye-bye.
[07:26.690] How was the first day?
[07:28.760] Excellent. Everyone was so,so nice.
[07:32.300] It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.
[07:36.330] Me.
[07:39.270] -I didn't tell anyone I knew you. -Why? -
[07:44.710] They don't like you.
[07:50.010] -What? -I thought you knew. -
[07:55.150] -Who doesn't like me? -Everyone. -
[07:58.460] Except for....
[08:00.360] No. Everyone.
[08:04.700] -What are you talking about? -Don't feel bad. -
[08:10.400] But you got promoted,and now you're Mr. Boss Man. Mr. Big.
[08:15.410] Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.
[08:19.640] -I can't believe it. -Yeah. They even do you. -
[08:24.650] They "do" me?
[08:26.850] You know,like,okay:
[08:29.320] "Could that report be any later?"
[08:37.360] -I don't sound like that. -Yeah,you do. -
[08:45.300] ...of music."
[08:52.640] "My scone. My scone."
[08:57.780] I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
[09:03.320] That is so not That is so not
[09:05.560] That Oh,shut up.
[09:11.330] -Did not. -Up until I was 9... -
[09:14.230] ... I thought "gunpoint" was a place where crimes happened.
[09:17.900] -How's that possible? -It's always on the news. -
[09:21.140] "A man is being held up at Gunpoint."
[09:23.940] "Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint."
[09:26.740] And I kept thinking, "Why do people continue to go there?"
[09:35.590] I should go.
[09:46.600] -Unless -What?
[09:49.800] Unless you wanna stay over.
[09:52.170] I mean,I'm going to. So....
[09:56.640] Yeah,I'd really like that.
[10:06.050] Before we get into any staying-over stuff...
[10:10.560] ...there's something you should know.
[10:13.220] Is this,like, "I have an early class tomorrow"...
[10:16.730] ...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"?
[10:19.900] Well,it's somewhere in between.
[10:23.700] You see,in a strictly technical sense,of course,I'm not....
[10:28.140] Well,I mean,I haven't ever....
[10:31.210] Ethan?
[10:33.180] Are you a virgin?
[10:34.880] If that's what you kids are calling it these days,then...
[10:39.250] ...yes,I am.
[10:43.420] I mean,you're just such a good kisser I would never have known.
[10:48.330] Well,I've excelled at every level I've been to,I just....
[10:55.200] I just haven't been to that particular one yet.
[10:59.340] I've kind of been waiting for the right person.
[11:04.110] -Really? -Yeah.
[11:07.750] You do know I was talking about you,right?
[11:19.190] Wow.
[11:21.760] You keep saying that.
[11:23.860] You know,you read about it. You see it in the movies.
[11:27.530] Even when you practice it at home, man,oh,man...
[11:31.540] ...it is nothing like that.
[11:36.810] Listen,listen.
[11:40.610] You told me something that was really difficult for you.
[11:45.080] And I figure if you can be honest,then I can too.
[11:55.000] Nothing wrong about that.
[12:00.630] Here goes.
[12:03.470] I'm not 22.
[12:09.610] ...and 1 3 months.
[12:17.750] What does it matter how old we are? Basically,I'm nuts about you.
[12:22.890] I knew after the first time we kissed. You didn't mention the Tic Tac.
[12:28.030] I just thought you were naturally minty.
[12:34.630] Listen...
[12:36.600] ...as long as we're telling stuff...
[12:40.770] ... I have another one for you.
[12:43.610] I'm a little younger than I said.
[12:48.110] -You're not a senior? -Oh,I'm a senior... -
[12:55.720] ...in high school.
[13:08.500] What we did was wrong.
[13:10.570] I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.
[13:18.310] I just had sex.
[13:22.680] Ethan,focus. How could you not tell me?
[13:26.220] -You never said your age. -It's different. -
[13:29.050] My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.
[13:33.890] -What were you thinking? -I was too busy falling -
[13:37.230] -Don't say it. -ln love with you.
[13:45.070] Well,fall out of it.
[13:46.800] You shouldn't be here. It's a school night.
[13:52.240] Oh,God.
[13:54.310] I'm like those women that you see...
[13:56.810] ...with shiny guys named Chad.
[14:02.420] I'm Joan Collins.
[14:07.590] Who?
[14:17.170] Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.
[14:23.510] Yes,sir,the kimonos are extra.
[14:28.110] Alrighty. Bye-bye.
[14:32.450] It's just easier that way.
[14:36.250] -You told me about the last dream. -No. Forget it. -
[14:40.620] Why not? Was I doing something particularly saucy?
[14:46.760] All right. Fine.
[14:53.640] Joey was there too.
[14:57.270] All right.
[15:05.250] ...anybody else there?
[15:09.220] You sure? Nobody...
[15:11.420] ... handing out mints or anything? …
[15:16.060] No,it was just the three of us.
[15:20.730] So was it you and Chandler...
[15:22.730] ...then you and me, or you,me and Chandler?
[15:27.500] -You know what? -What?
[15:30.470] There were times...
[15:32.580] ...when it wasn't even me. …
[15:44.420] That is so sweet,you guys.
[15:53.530] Mon,Ethan called again.
[16:02.640] -What? -Ethan called again. -
[16:06.440] -You're not seeing him anymore? -No. -
[16:09.780] Sometimes,things don't work out.
[16:12.380] This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym?
[16:20.620] I did not say anything. I swear.
[16:23.930] -He stopped by. -Next time you talk to him... -
[16:33.140] Oh,my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now?
[16:37.140] Sorry.
[16:39.010] "It's morphin'time."
[16:40.640] -Stegosaurus. -Tyrannosaurus.
[16:47.890] I gotta go.
[16:49.590] Head rush.
[16:53.090] One more,and then I have to go.
[16:56.030] Cool.
[17:00.900] Where you going?
[17:02.770] A birthday party with some work people.
[17:05.600] Work people? Nobody told me.
[17:09.540] I know. That's part of the whole...
[17:12.040] ...them-not-liking-you extravaganza. …
[17:16.650] A month ago, these people were my friends.
[17:19.920] I'm in charge, but I'm not a different person.
[17:23.250] Then come,hang out. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
[17:28.290] -You think I should? -I really do. -
[17:32.560] But could we not go together?
[17:35.900] I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss.
[17:43.410] -Hey,you okay? -Yeah.
[17:46.240] -This can't be easy for him either. -I know. -
[17:51.080] This may take some time for him to get over it...
[17:55.420] ... but,then at four, Muppet Babies is on.
[18:06.000] Go deep. Deep. Deep.
[18:10.770] Sorry,Shelly.
[18:14.870] See,with the fun?
[18:18.310] Last night was great.
[18:20.040] The karaoke thing? Tracy and I doing "Ebony and lvory."
[18:27.480] -What? -Now you're Mr. Caring Boss. -
[18:30.450] Mr. I'm-one-of-you Boss. “
[18:32.190] Mr. I-wanna-be-your-buddy Boss Man Bing. “
[18:36.290] Then I don't get it.
[18:38.800] You know what? I think you just gotta face it.
[18:42.770] You're the guy in the big office.
[18:45.440] You're the one that hires and fires them.
[18:48.540] -They say you're a great boss. -They do? -
[18:52.440] But they're not your friends anymore.
[18:55.150] -I just want -But you can't. -
[18:58.120] But I just want
[19:10.060] Are you gonna?
[19:11.330] Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 9-1 -1...
[19:15.300] ...she's having a baby. Otherwise,I just ignore it.
[19:18.900] What about Andre?
[19:20.370] He got a call from our cousin,Nathan.
[19:23.640] Frankly,it was a little more than I needed to know.
[19:35.150] That was gonna be my opener.
[19:38.020] Have you guys seen those new hand dryers in the bathroom?
[19:42.090] -I thought that was just a rumor. -True story. -
[19:49.030] Look,I gotta tell you something.
[19:51.500] I'm not 1 7. I said that so you'd think I was vulnerable.
[19:55.540] I'm actually 30. I have a wife and a job. I'm your congressman.
[20:01.310] This is ridiculous. We're great together.
[20:04.210] We can talk,make each other laugh,and the sex....
[20:08.350] I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great.
[20:12.460] -lt was. -Then what's the problem? -
[20:21.060] It's icky.
[20:23.330] "lcky"? “lcky”?
[20:24.870] You're actually gonna throw this away because it's "icky"?
[20:29.640] This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different.
[20:36.780] ...or we lived in biblical times...
[20:40.450] -... I could really -No,don't say it. -
[20:43.220] Love you.
[20:48.860] -Are your hands still wet? -Moist. -
[20:51.460] Let's dry them again.
[20:59.240] Or,like,"Could these margaritas be any stronger?"
[21:04.880] Hey,Chandler.
[21:06.310] Hello,Mr. Bing.
[21:07.880] Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.
[21:12.080] Thanks. About the weekly numbers,I'm gonna need them on my desk by 9:00.
[21:17.420] -Sure. -No problem.
[21:22.360] You have to give them something.
[21:24.660] That was Gerston,Santos,and who's the other guy?
[21:28.130] -Petrie. -Petrie. Right,okay.
[21:30.270] Well,some people are gonna be working...
[21:33.100] ...this weekend. …
[22:04.640] Oh,that's nice.
[22:12.040] Ross.
[22:23.650] I'm here.
[22:27.220] You are?
[22:34.030] We were just....
[22:37.670] What?
[22:41.910] -Great. Now I'm having a baby. -What? -
[22:46.580] I'm having a baby. I'm having a
[22:50.010] -The phone,the phone. -I don't have the phone.
[22:57.120] I'm hurt.
[23:02.890] Let's go. Come on,people. Woman in labor.
[23:06.230] -Look what I got going. -Save it for the cab. -
[23:10.400] We're going to a hospital.
[23:12.940] I can't look nice? There are doctors there.
[23:16.370] -Joey,get out of the fridge. -All right. -
[23:20.280] -What is that? -For the ride. -
[23:22.450] -Like in a cab -Save it. -
[23:24.350] -Hating this. -Monica,come on. Let's go. -
[23:27.650] Baby coming.
[23:28.850] I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunt.
[23:31.620] -I'll have a nephew. -That's nice. Get out. -
[23:38.560] All right,I'm going. I'm going.
[23:48.040] Here we go. Come on.
[00:02.910] Shut up. Tell me what?
[00:05.320] You won' t look at him.
[00:06.920] I could use another reason why women won' t look at me.
[00:11.090] All right. All right. Last night, I had a dream...
[00:15.830] ... that you and I were
[00:18.400] Doing it on this table.
[00:22.500] Excellent dream score.
[00:28.910] Why would you dream that?
[00:32.410] More importantly...
[00:34.010] ... was I any good?
[00:36.720] Well, you were pretty damn good.
[00:39.720] Interesting. In my dreams, I' m surprisingly inadequate.
[00:45.220] Last night, you seemed to know your way around the table.
[00:52.300] I love it when we share.
[00:58.600] You okay?
[00:59:000] I cant believe you two have sex in the dream!
[01:03.710] Sorry, it was a onetime thing.
[01:05.880] I was very drunk, and it was someone else' s subconscious.
[01:10.820] The One With The lck Factor
[01:59.330] Hello, Rachel.
[02:01.200] Get off.
[02:05.270] Ooh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?
[02:15.780] Why would you want to?
[02:18.650] For shortterm work. Till I get back my massage clients.
[02:22.820] Pirates again?
[02:25.060] No. Nothing like that.
[02:27.730] I' m just such a dummy.
[02:30.130] I taught a " Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. And they are.
[02:36.100] Hey, Chan, she could work for you.
[02:39.100] Thanks, Joey. That' s a good idea.
[02:41.910] I could. I could do it. What is it?
[02:45.010] My secretary' s gonna be out. She' s having one of her boobs reduced.
[02:50.480] It' s a whole big boob story.
[02:53.320] I could be a secretary. I don' t know if it' d be your thing...
[02:58.000] ... because it involves being normal for a large portion of the day.
[03:03.290] I could do that.
[03:06.560] What' s that? My new beeper.
[03:08.930] Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?
[03:11.640] Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help. They' re still extinct.
[03:17.240] It' s for when Carol goes into labor.
[03:25.420] A cool number and a possible name for the kid.
[03:29.090] See you later. Off to see young Ethan?
[03:32.220] Thank you.
[03:34.490] How young is young Ethan? Young?
[03:38.100] He' s our age.
[03:40.570] When we were....
[03:45.900] He' s a senior in college. College?
[03:49.670] Rob that cradle.
[03:52.580] He' s smart and mature and grownup.
[03:56.410] Mature and grownup, he' s a big boy.
[04:01.690] This manchild has no problem with how old you are?
[04:04.860] No, of course not. It' s not even an issue...
[04:08.260] ... because I said I was 22.
[04:10.130] You what? What?
[04:11.630] Oh, I can' t pass for 22? Well, maybe 25, 26.
[04:15.430] I am 26. There you go.
[04:30.920] Can you hear that?
[04:36.550] That' ll stop when you pick up the phone.
[04:41.460] Oh, I' m on. Okay.
[04:45.500] Mr. Bing' s office.
[04:49.800] Sorry, he' s in a meeting. I' m not in a meeting.
[04:54.070] Will he know what this is in reference to?
[04:58.810] I' ll see that he gets the message. Byebye.
[05:05.080] Ross says hi.
[05:07.620] This is so fun. What do we do now?
[05:10.460] Well, now I actually have to get to work.
[05:13.520] " Most likely."
[05:19.200] Okay, I' m gonna be out there.
[05:21.630] All right. Byebye.
[05:23.770] Byebye.
[05:30.880] Yes? What you doing?
[05:40.550] BeIt' s too tight. Gotta change.
[05:43.090] Did I turn the fish? Nope, because I made lasagna.
[05:47.790] Am I out of control? Just a touch.
[05:51.660] I don' t understand. You' ve been dating this guy since...
[05:55.630] ... his midterms.
[05:58.240] Why, all of a sudden, are you so...?
[06:04.810] What? Could tonight be the night?
[06:11.020] I don' t know. He' s a great guy...
[06:14.190] ... and I love being with him. But, you know...
[06:17.860] ... things happen when they happen. You don' t plan these things.
[06:23.130] So, did you shave your legs? Yeah.
[06:29.930] Would you let it go? It was just a dream.
[06:33.140] It doesn' t mean
[06:36.710] This is it. It' s baby time!
[06:39.240] All right, relax. Just relax. Be cool.
[06:47.590] No, Andre is not here. Third time today.
[06:52.560] Yes, I am sure.
[06:55.330] I do not perform those kind of services.
[06:58.930] Services?
[07:00.670] Oh, services.
[07:02.570] Yeah, you want 55JUMBO.
[07:09.640] That' s right.
[07:11.310] That' s right. JUMBO with a " U," sir.
[07:14.580] You don' t want me.
[07:16.350] Judging by his number, I' d be a huge disappointment.
[07:20.790] Alrighty, byebye.
[07:26.690] How was the first day?
[07:28.760] Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
[07:32.300] It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.
[07:36.330] Me.
[07:39.270] I didn' t tell anyone I knew you. Why?
[07:44.710] They don' t like you.
[07:50.010] What? I thought you knew.
[07:55.150] Who doesn' t like me? Everyone.
[07:58.460] Except for....
[08:00.360] No. Everyone.
[08:04.700] What are you talking about? Don' t feel bad.
[08:10.400] But you got promoted, and now you' re Mr. Boss Man. Mr. Big.
[08:15.410] Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.
[08:19.640] I can' t believe it. Yeah. They even do you.
[08:24.650] They " do" me?
[08:26.850] You know, like, okay:
[08:29.320] " Could that report be any later?"
[08:37.360] I don' t sound like that. Yeah, you do.
[08:45.300] ... of music."
[08:52.640] " My scone. My scone."
[08:57.780] I don' t sound like that. That is so not true.
[09:03.320] That is so not That is so not
[09:05.560] That Oh, shut up.
[09:11.330] Did not. Up until I was 9...
[09:14.230] ... I thought " gunpoint" was a place where crimes happened.
[09:17.900] How' s that possible? It' s always on the news.
[09:21.140] " A man is being held up at Gunpoint."
[09:23.940] " Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint."
[09:26.740] And I kept thinking, " Why do people continue to go there?"
[09:35.590] I should go.
[09:46.600] Unless What?
[09:49.800] Unless you wanna stay over.
[09:52.170] I mean, I' m going to. So....
[09:56.640] Yeah, I' d really like that.
[10:06.050] Before we get into any stayingover stuff...
[10:10.560] ... there' s something you should know.
[10:13.220] Is this, like, " I have an early class tomorrow"...
[10:16.730] ... or " I' m secretly married to a goat"?
[10:19.900] Well, it' s somewhere in between.
[10:23.700] You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I' m not....
[10:28.140] Well, I mean, I haven' t ever....
[10:31.210] Ethan?
[10:33.180] Are you a virgin?
[10:34.880] If that' s what you kids are calling it these days, then...
[10:39.250] ... yes, I am.
[10:43.420] I mean, you' re just such a good kisser I would never have known.
[10:48.330] Well, I' ve excelled at every level I' ve been to, I just....
[10:55.200] I just haven' t been to that particular one yet.
[10:59.340] I' ve kind of been waiting for the right person.
[11:04.110] Really? Yeah.
[11:07.750] You do know I was talking about you, right?
[11:19.190] Wow.
[11:21.760] You keep saying that.
[11:23.860] You know, you read about it. You see it in the movies.
[11:27.530] Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man...
[11:31.540] ... it is nothing like that.
[11:36.810] Listen, listen.
[11:40.610] You told me something that was really difficult for you.
[11:45.080] And I figure if you can be honest, then I can too.
[11:55.000] Nothing wrong about that.
[12:00.630] Here goes.
[12:03.470] I' m not 22.
[12:09.610] ... and 1 3 months.
[12:17.750] What does it matter how old we are? Basically, I' m nuts about you.
[12:22.890] I knew after the first time we kissed. You didn' t mention the Tic Tac.
[12:28.030] I just thought you were naturally minty.
[12:34.630] Listen...
[12:36.600] ... as long as we' re telling stuff...
[12:40.770] ... I have another one for you.
[12:43.610] I' m a little younger than I said.
[12:48.110] You' re not a senior? Oh, I' m a senior...
[12:55.720] ... in high school.
[13:08.500] What we did was wrong.
[13:10.570] I just had sex with someone who wasn' t alive during the bicentennial.
[13:18.310] I just had sex.
[13:22.680] Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
[13:26.220] You never said your age. It' s different.
[13:29.050] My lie didn' t make one of us a felon in 48 states.
[13:33.890] What were you thinking? I was too busy falling
[13:37.230] Don' t say it. ln love with you.
[13:45.070] Well, fall out of it.
[13:46.800] You shouldn' t be here. It' s a school night.
[13:52.240] Oh, God.
[13:54.310] I' m like those women that you see...
[13:56.810] ... with shiny guys named Chad.
[14:02.420] I' m Joan Collins.
[14:07.590] Who?
[14:17.170] Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.
[14:23.510] Yes, sir, the kimonos are extra.
[14:28.110] Alrighty. Byebye.
[14:32.450] It' s just easier that way.
[14:36.250] You told me about the last dream. No. Forget it.
[14:40.620] Why not? Was I doing something particularly saucy?
[14:46.760] All right. Fine.
[14:53.640] Joey was there too.
[14:57.270] All right.
[15:05.250] ... anybody else there?
[15:09.220] You sure? Nobody...
[15:11.420] ... handing out mints or anything?
[15:16.060] No, it was just the three of us.
[15:20.730] So was it you and Chandler...
[15:22.730] ... then you and me, or you, me and Chandler?
[15:27.500] You know what? What?
[15:30.470] There were times...
[15:32.580] ... when it wasn' t even me.
[15:44.420] That is so sweet, you guys.
[15:53.530] Mon, Ethan called again.
[16:02.640] What? Ethan called again.
[16:06.440] You' re not seeing him anymore? No.
[16:09.780] Sometimes, things don' t work out.
[16:12.380] This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym?
[16:20.620] I did not say anything. I swear.
[16:23.930] He stopped by. Next time you talk to him...
[16:33.140] Oh, my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now?
[16:37.140] Sorry.
[16:39.010] " It' s morphin' time."
[16:40.640] Stegosaurus. Tyrannosaurus.
[16:47.890] I gotta go.
[16:49.590] Head rush.
[16:53.090] One more, and then I have to go.
[16:56.030] Cool.
[17:00.900] Where you going?
[17:02.770] A birthday party with some work people.
[17:05.600] Work people? Nobody told me.
[17:09.540] I know. That' s part of the whole...
[17:12.040] ... themnotlikingyou extravaganza.
[17:16.650] A month ago, these people were my friends.
[17:19.920] I' m in charge, but I' m not a different person.
[17:23.250] Then come, hang out. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
[17:28.290] You think I should? I really do.
[17:32.560] But could we not go together?
[17:35.900] I don' t wanna be the geek who invited the boss.
[17:43.410] Hey, you okay? Yeah.
[17:46.240] This can' t be easy for him either. I know.
[17:51.080] This may take some time for him to get over it...
[17:55.420] ... but, then at four, Muppet Babies is on.
[18:06.000] Go deep. Deep. Deep.
[18:10.770] Sorry, Shelly.
[18:14.870] See, with the fun?
[18:18.310] Last night was great.
[18:20.040] The karaoke thing? Tracy and I doing " Ebony and lvory."
[18:27.480] What? Now you' re Mr. Caring Boss.
[18:30.450] Mr. I' moneofyou Boss. "
[18:32.190] Mr. Iwannabeyourbuddy Boss Man Bing. "
[18:36.290] Then I don' t get it.
[18:38.800] You know what? I think you just gotta face it.
[18:42.770] You' re the guy in the big office.
[18:45.440] You' re the one that hires and fires them.
[18:48.540] They say you' re a great boss. They do?
[18:52.440] But they' re not your friends anymore.
[18:55.150] I just want But you can' t.
[18:58.120] But I just want
[19:10.060] Are you gonna?
[19:11.330] Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 91 1...
[19:15.300] ... she' s having a baby. Otherwise, I just ignore it.
[19:18.900] What about Andre?
[19:20.370] He got a call from our cousin, Nathan.
[19:23.640] Frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
[19:35.150] That was gonna be my opener.
[19:38.020] Have you guys seen those new hand dryers in the bathroom?
[19:42.090] I thought that was just a rumor. True story.
[19:49.030] Look, I gotta tell you something.
[19:51.500] I' m not 1 7. I said that so you' d think I was vulnerable.
[19:55.540] I' m actually 30. I have a wife and a job. I' m your congressman.
[20:01.310] This is ridiculous. We' re great together.
[20:04.210] We can talk, make each other laugh, and the sex....
[20:08.350] I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great.
[20:12.460] lt was. Then what' s the problem?
[20:21.060] It' s icky.
[20:23.330] " lcky"? " lcky"?
[20:24.870] You' re actually gonna throw this away because it' s " icky"?
[20:29.640] This isn' t easy for me either. I wish things were different.
[20:36.780] ... or we lived in biblical times...
[20:40.450] ... I could really No, don' t say it.
[20:43.220] Love you.
[20:48.860] Are your hands still wet? Moist.
[20:51.460] Let' s dry them again.
[20:59.240] Or, like," Could these margaritas be any stronger?"
[21:04.880] Hey, Chandler.
[21:06.310] Hello, Mr. Bing.
[21:07.880] Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.
[21:12.080] Thanks. About the weekly numbers, I' m gonna need them on my desk by 9: 00.
[21:17.420] Sure. No problem.
[21:22.360] You have to give them something.
[21:24.660] That was Gerston, Santos, and who' s the other guy?
[21:28.130] Petrie. Petrie. Right, okay.
[21:30.270] Well, some people are gonna be working...
[21:33.100] ... this weekend.
[22:04.640] Oh, that' s nice.
[22:12.040] Ross.
[22:23.650] I' m here.
[22:27.220] You are?
[22:34.030] We were just....
[22:37.670] What?
[22:41.910] Great. Now I' m having a baby. What?
[22:46.580] I' m having a baby. I' m having a
[22:50.010] The phone, the phone. I don' t have the phone.
[22:57.120] I' m hurt.
[23:02.890] Let' s go. Come on, people. Woman in labor.
[23:06.230] Look what I got going. Save it for the cab.
[23:10.400] We' re going to a hospital.
[23:12.940] I can' t look nice? There are doctors there.
[23:16.370] Joey, get out of the fridge. All right.
[23:20.280] What is that? For the ride.
[23:22.450] Like in a cab Save it.
[23:24.350] Hating this. Monica, come on. Let' s go.
[23:27.650] Baby coming.
[23:28.850] I can' t believe I' m gonna be an aunt.
[23:31.620] I' ll have a nephew. That' s nice. Get out.
[23:38.560] All right, I' m going. I' m going.
[23:48.040] Here we go. Come on.
[00:02.910] Shut up. Tell me what?
[00:05.320] You won' t look at him.
[00:06.920] I could use another reason why women won' t look at me.
[00:11.090] All right. All right. Last night, I had a dream...
[00:15.830] ... that you and I were
[00:18.400] Doing it on this table.
[00:22.500] Excellent dream score.
[00:28.910] Why would you dream that?
[00:32.410] More importantly...
[00:34.010] ... was I any good?
[00:36.720] Well, you were pretty damn good.
[00:39.720] Interesting. In my dreams, I' m surprisingly inadequate.
[00:45.220] Last night, you seemed to know your way around the table.
[00:52.300] I love it when we share.
[00:58.600] You okay?
[00:59:000] I cant believe you two have sex in the dream!
[01:03.710] Sorry, it was a onetime thing.
[01:05.880] I was very drunk, and it was someone else' s subconscious.
[01:10.820] The One With The lck Factor
[01:59.330] Hello, Rachel.
[02:01.200] Get off.
[02:05.270] Ooh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?
[02:15.780] Why would you want to?
[02:18.650] For shortterm work. Till I get back my massage clients.
[02:22.820] Pirates again?
[02:25.060] No. Nothing like that.
[02:27.730] I' m just such a dummy.
[02:30.130] I taught a " Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. And they are.
[02:36.100] Hey, Chan, she could work for you.
[02:39.100] Thanks, Joey. That' s a good idea.
[02:41.910] I could. I could do it. What is it?
[02:45.010] My secretary' s gonna be out. She' s having one of her boobs reduced.
[02:50.480] It' s a whole big boob story.
[02:53.320] I could be a secretary. I don' t know if it' d be your thing...
[02:58.000] ... because it involves being normal for a large portion of the day.
[03:03.290] I could do that.
[03:06.560] What' s that? My new beeper.
[03:08.930] Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?
[03:11.640] Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help. They' re still extinct.
[03:17.240] It' s for when Carol goes into labor.
[03:25.420] A cool number and a possible name for the kid.
[03:29.090] See you later. Off to see young Ethan?
[03:32.220] Thank you.
[03:34.490] How young is young Ethan? Young?
[03:38.100] He' s our age.
[03:40.570] When we were....
[03:45.900] He' s a senior in college. College?
[03:49.670] Rob that cradle.
[03:52.580] He' s smart and mature and grownup.
[03:56.410] Mature and grownup, he' s a big boy.
[04:01.690] This manchild has no problem with how old you are?
[04:04.860] No, of course not. It' s not even an issue...
[04:08.260] ... because I said I was 22.
[04:10.130] You what? What?
[04:11.630] Oh, I can' t pass for 22? Well, maybe 25, 26.
[04:15.430] I am 26. There you go.
[04:30.920] Can you hear that?
[04:36.550] That' ll stop when you pick up the phone.
[04:41.460] Oh, I' m on. Okay.
[04:45.500] Mr. Bing' s office.
[04:49.800] Sorry, he' s in a meeting. I' m not in a meeting.
[04:54.070] Will he know what this is in reference to?
[04:58.810] I' ll see that he gets the message. Byebye.
[05:05.080] Ross says hi.
[05:07.620] This is so fun. What do we do now?
[05:10.460] Well, now I actually have to get to work.
[05:13.520] " Most likely."
[05:19.200] Okay, I' m gonna be out there.
[05:21.630] All right. Byebye.
[05:23.770] Byebye.
[05:30.880] Yes? What you doing?
[05:40.550] BeIt' s too tight. Gotta change.
[05:43.090] Did I turn the fish? Nope, because I made lasagna.
[05:47.790] Am I out of control? Just a touch.
[05:51.660] I don' t understand. You' ve been dating this guy since...
[05:55.630] ... his midterms.
[05:58.240] Why, all of a sudden, are you so...?
[06:04.810] What? Could tonight be the night?
[06:11.020] I don' t know. He' s a great guy...
[06:14.190] ... and I love being with him. But, you know...
[06:17.860] ... things happen when they happen. You don' t plan these things.
[06:23.130] So, did you shave your legs? Yeah.
[06:29.930] Would you let it go? It was just a dream.
[06:33.140] It doesn' t mean
[06:36.710] This is it. It' s baby time!
[06:39.240] All right, relax. Just relax. Be cool.
[06:47.590] No, Andre is not here. Third time today.
[06:52.560] Yes, I am sure.
[06:55.330] I do not perform those kind of services.
[06:58.930] Services?
[07:00.670] Oh, services.
[07:02.570] Yeah, you want 55JUMBO.
[07:09.640] That' s right.
[07:11.310] That' s right. JUMBO with a " U," sir.
[07:14.580] You don' t want me.
[07:16.350] Judging by his number, I' d be a huge disappointment.
[07:20.790] Alrighty, byebye.
[07:26.690] How was the first day?
[07:28.760] Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
[07:32.300] It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.
[07:36.330] Me.
[07:39.270] I didn' t tell anyone I knew you. Why?
[07:44.710] They don' t like you.
[07:50.010] What? I thought you knew.
[07:55.150] Who doesn' t like me? Everyone.
[07:58.460] Except for....
[08:00.360] No. Everyone.
[08:04.700] What are you talking about? Don' t feel bad.
[08:10.400] But you got promoted, and now you' re Mr. Boss Man. Mr. Big.
[08:15.410] Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.
[08:19.640] I can' t believe it. Yeah. They even do you.
[08:24.650] They " do" me?
[08:26.850] You know, like, okay:
[08:29.320] " Could that report be any later?"
[08:37.360] I don' t sound like that. Yeah, you do.
[08:45.300] ... of music."
[08:52.640] " My scone. My scone."
[08:57.780] I don' t sound like that. That is so not true.
[09:03.320] That is so not That is so not
[09:05.560] That Oh, shut up.
[09:11.330] Did not. Up until I was 9...
[09:14.230] ... I thought " gunpoint" was a place where crimes happened.
[09:17.900] How' s that possible? It' s always on the news.
[09:21.140] " A man is being held up at Gunpoint."
[09:23.940] " Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint."
[09:26.740] And I kept thinking, " Why do people continue to go there?"
[09:35.590] I should go.
[09:46.600] Unless What?
[09:49.800] Unless you wanna stay over.
[09:52.170] I mean, I' m going to. So....
[09:56.640] Yeah, I' d really like that.
[10:06.050] Before we get into any stayingover stuff...
[10:10.560] ... there' s something you should know.
[10:13.220] Is this, like, " I have an early class tomorrow"...
[10:16.730] ... or " I' m secretly married to a goat"?
[10:19.900] Well, it' s somewhere in between.
[10:23.700] You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I' m not....
[10:28.140] Well, I mean, I haven' t ever....
[10:31.210] Ethan?
[10:33.180] Are you a virgin?
[10:34.880] If that' s what you kids are calling it these days, then...
[10:39.250] ... yes, I am.
[10:43.420] I mean, you' re just such a good kisser I would never have known.
[10:48.330] Well, I' ve excelled at every level I' ve been to, I just....
[10:55.200] I just haven' t been to that particular one yet.
[10:59.340] I' ve kind of been waiting for the right person.
[11:04.110] Really? Yeah.
[11:07.750] You do know I was talking about you, right?
[11:19.190] Wow.
[11:21.760] You keep saying that.
[11:23.860] You know, you read about it. You see it in the movies.
[11:27.530] Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man...
[11:31.540] ... it is nothing like that.
[11:36.810] Listen, listen.
[11:40.610] You told me something that was really difficult for you.
[11:45.080] And I figure if you can be honest, then I can too.
[11:55.000] Nothing wrong about that.
[12:00.630] Here goes.
[12:03.470] I' m not 22.
[12:09.610] ... and 1 3 months.
[12:17.750] What does it matter how old we are? Basically, I' m nuts about you.
[12:22.890] I knew after the first time we kissed. You didn' t mention the Tic Tac.
[12:28.030] I just thought you were naturally minty.
[12:34.630] Listen...
[12:36.600] ... as long as we' re telling stuff...
[12:40.770] ... I have another one for you.
[12:43.610] I' m a little younger than I said.
[12:48.110] You' re not a senior? Oh, I' m a senior...
[12:55.720] ... in high school.
[13:08.500] What we did was wrong.
[13:10.570] I just had sex with someone who wasn' t alive during the bicentennial.
[13:18.310] I just had sex.
[13:22.680] Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
[13:26.220] You never said your age. It' s different.
[13:29.050] My lie didn' t make one of us a felon in 48 states.
[13:33.890] What were you thinking? I was too busy falling
[13:37.230] Don' t say it. ln love with you.
[13:45.070] Well, fall out of it.
[13:46.800] You shouldn' t be here. It' s a school night.
[13:52.240] Oh, God.
[13:54.310] I' m like those women that you see...
[13:56.810] ... with shiny guys named Chad.
[14:02.420] I' m Joan Collins.
[14:07.590] Who?
[14:17.170] Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.
[14:23.510] Yes, sir, the kimonos are extra.
[14:28.110] Alrighty. Byebye.
[14:32.450] It' s just easier that way.
[14:36.250] You told me about the last dream. No. Forget it.
[14:40.620] Why not? Was I doing something particularly saucy?
[14:46.760] All right. Fine.
[14:53.640] Joey was there too.
[14:57.270] All right.
[15:05.250] ... anybody else there?
[15:09.220] You sure? Nobody...
[15:11.420] ... handing out mints or anything?
[15:16.060] No, it was just the three of us.
[15:20.730] So was it you and Chandler...
[15:22.730] ... then you and me, or you, me and Chandler?
[15:27.500] You know what? What?
[15:30.470] There were times...
[15:32.580] ... when it wasn' t even me.
[15:44.420] That is so sweet, you guys.
[15:53.530] Mon, Ethan called again.
[16:02.640] What? Ethan called again.
[16:06.440] You' re not seeing him anymore? No.
[16:09.780] Sometimes, things don' t work out.
[16:12.380] This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym?
[16:20.620] I did not say anything. I swear.
[16:23.930] He stopped by. Next time you talk to him...
[16:33.140] Oh, my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now?
[16:37.140] Sorry.
[16:39.010] " It' s morphin' time."
[16:40.640] Stegosaurus. Tyrannosaurus.
[16:47.890] I gotta go.
[16:49.590] Head rush.
[16:53.090] One more, and then I have to go.
[16:56.030] Cool.
[17:00.900] Where you going?
[17:02.770] A birthday party with some work people.
[17:05.600] Work people? Nobody told me.
[17:09.540] I know. That' s part of the whole...
[17:12.040] ... themnotlikingyou extravaganza.
[17:16.650] A month ago, these people were my friends.
[17:19.920] I' m in charge, but I' m not a different person.
[17:23.250] Then come, hang out. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
[17:28.290] You think I should? I really do.
[17:32.560] But could we not go together?
[17:35.900] I don' t wanna be the geek who invited the boss.
[17:43.410] Hey, you okay? Yeah.
[17:46.240] This can' t be easy for him either. I know.
[17:51.080] This may take some time for him to get over it...
[17:55.420] ... but, then at four, Muppet Babies is on.
[18:06.000] Go deep. Deep. Deep.
[18:10.770] Sorry, Shelly.
[18:14.870] See, with the fun?
[18:18.310] Last night was great.
[18:20.040] The karaoke thing? Tracy and I doing " Ebony and lvory."
[18:27.480] What? Now you' re Mr. Caring Boss.
[18:30.450] Mr. I' moneofyou Boss. "
[18:32.190] Mr. Iwannabeyourbuddy Boss Man Bing. "
[18:36.290] Then I don' t get it.
[18:38.800] You know what? I think you just gotta face it.
[18:42.770] You' re the guy in the big office.
[18:45.440] You' re the one that hires and fires them.
[18:48.540] They say you' re a great boss. They do?
[18:52.440] But they' re not your friends anymore.
[18:55.150] I just want But you can' t.
[18:58.120] But I just want
[19:10.060] Are you gonna?
[19:11.330] Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 91 1...
[19:15.300] ... she' s having a baby. Otherwise, I just ignore it.
[19:18.900] What about Andre?
[19:20.370] He got a call from our cousin, Nathan.
[19:23.640] Frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
[19:35.150] That was gonna be my opener.
[19:38.020] Have you guys seen those new hand dryers in the bathroom?
[19:42.090] I thought that was just a rumor. True story.
[19:49.030] Look, I gotta tell you something.
[19:51.500] I' m not 1 7. I said that so you' d think I was vulnerable.
[19:55.540] I' m actually 30. I have a wife and a job. I' m your congressman.
[20:01.310] This is ridiculous. We' re great together.
[20:04.210] We can talk, make each other laugh, and the sex....
[20:08.350] I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great.
[20:12.460] lt was. Then what' s the problem?
[20:21.060] It' s icky.
[20:23.330] " lcky"? " lcky"?
[20:24.870] You' re actually gonna throw this away because it' s " icky"?
[20:29.640] This isn' t easy for me either. I wish things were different.
[20:36.780] ... or we lived in biblical times...
[20:40.450] ... I could really No, don' t say it.
[20:43.220] Love you.
[20:48.860] Are your hands still wet? Moist.
[20:51.460] Let' s dry them again.
[20:59.240] Or, like," Could these margaritas be any stronger?"
[21:04.880] Hey, Chandler.
[21:06.310] Hello, Mr. Bing.
[21:07.880] Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.
[21:12.080] Thanks. About the weekly numbers, I' m gonna need them on my desk by 9: 00.
[21:17.420] Sure. No problem.
[21:22.360] You have to give them something.
[21:24.660] That was Gerston, Santos, and who' s the other guy?
[21:28.130] Petrie. Petrie. Right, okay.
[21:30.270] Well, some people are gonna be working...
[21:33.100] ... this weekend.
[22:04.640] Oh, that' s nice.
[22:12.040] Ross.
[22:23.650] I' m here.
[22:27.220] You are?
[22:34.030] We were just....
[22:37.670] What?
[22:41.910] Great. Now I' m having a baby. What?
[22:46.580] I' m having a baby. I' m having a
[22:50.010] The phone, the phone. I don' t have the phone.
[22:57.120] I' m hurt.
[23:02.890] Let' s go. Come on, people. Woman in labor.
[23:06.230] Look what I got going. Save it for the cab.
[23:10.400] We' re going to a hospital.
[23:12.940] I can' t look nice? There are doctors there.
[23:16.370] Joey, get out of the fridge. All right.
[23:20.280] What is that? For the ride.
[23:22.450] Like in a cab Save it.
[23:24.350] Hating this. Monica, come on. Let' s go.
[23:27.650] Baby coming.
[23:28.850] I can' t believe I' m gonna be an aunt.
[23:31.620] I' ll have a nephew. That' s nice. Get out.
[23:38.560] All right, I' m going. I' m going.
[23:48.040] Here we go. Come on.
Friends S01E22 Lyrics
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