[00:32.-1] | ...your nippular areas. … |
[01:41.-4] | -But you tell it really well,sweetie. -Thanks. Okay. - |
[02:14.-1] | Okay,you guys want anything else? |
[03:06.-3] | That's it? I mean,mittens are "nice." |
[03:57.-1] | -How did you know that? -It's textbook. - |
[04:46.-3] | I gotta go. Miss you too. |
[10:22.-2] | Good night,you guys. |
[14:22.-2] | Now I'm looking at my dad,thinking |
[14:28.-4] | When they wanted you in your father's business,did you cave? |
[16:14.-4] | -What's with you? -I thought it was Chandler! - |
[17:32.-3] | Why'd you fill your father's head with garbage... |
[19:14.-3] | I just did what I thought you'd want. |
[23:34.-3] | Hello,dear! |
[00:16.09] | -I'm sorry! -That is it! - |
[00:18.76] | You barge in here and you don't knock? |
[00:21.37] | You have no respect for privacy. No,you wait! - |
[00:25.14] | -Can I just say one thing? -What?! - |
[00:27.77] | That's a relatively open weave. I can still see... |
[00:38.12] | The One With The Boobies |
[01:26.33] | Honey,tell them the story about your patient... |
[01:30.27] | ...who thinks things are other things. |
[01:33.00] | When the phone rings and she takes a shower. |
[01:37.74] | That's pretty much it. |
[01:45.85] | Now go away so we can talk about you. |
[01:48.92] | Okay. I'll miss you. |
[01:52.62] | -lsn't he great? -He's cute. He likes you so much. - |
[01:56.29] | I know. He's so sweet. And so complicated,you know? |
[02:00.60] | And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky. |
[02:03.90] | Think you'll do it on his couch? |
[02:06.27] | I don't know. That's a little weird. |
[02:09.27] | It's vinyl. |
[02:16.51] | -Could I have? -We're all out. Anybody else? |
[02:20.92] | Did I miss something? |
[02:22.89] | No,she's still upset because I saw her boobies. |
[02:26.89] | What were you doing seeing her boobies? |
[02:30.10] | It was an accident. I wasn't across the street with a telescope. |
[02:35.80] | Can we change the subject,please? |
[02:38.74] | These aren't her "boobies." These are her breasts. |
[02:43.68] | Pheebs,I was hoping for more of a change. |
[02:47.81] | I always liked "Bazoombas." |
[02:51.02] | Gives them a Latin spin. |
[02:54.29] | Can we drop this already,please? |
[02:58.12] | Why are you embarrassed? They were very nice boobies. |
[03:03.03] | "Nice"? They were "nice"? |
[03:10.80] | Okay. Rock,hard place. Me. |
[03:20.01] | You're so funny! |
[03:22.51] | He's really funny. |
[03:24.75] | I wouldn't wanna be there when the laughter stops. |
[03:29.25] | Whoa,back up there,sparky. |
[03:32.92] | What did you mean by that? |
[03:35.19] | It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues... |
[03:38.60] | ...that you use your humor to keep people at a distance. |
[03:45.00] | I mean,I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. |
[03:49.64] | Only child,right? |
[03:52.21] | Parents divorced before you hit puberty. |
[04:03.12] | Hey,you guys. You all know my dad,right? |
[04:06.82] | -How long are you in the city? -Two days. I got a job. - |
[04:10.53] | I'm better off staying with Joey... |
[04:12.90] | ...than going back and forth on the ferry. |
[04:15.73] | -I don't know this one. -This is my friend Roger. - |
[04:19.04] | -Good to meet you. -You too. - |
[04:21.04] | -What happened to the puppet guy? -Dad. - |
[04:25.34] | Oh,excuse me. So,Ross,how's the wife? |
[04:32.22] | 0 for 2,huh? |
[04:34.62] | Chandler,say something funny. |
[04:48.87] | -I love you,but it's getting late -Say hi. Hey,Ma. - |
[04:53.07] | I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and |
[04:57.81] | Excuse me? |
[05:02.85] | Did you know this isn't Ma? |
[05:13.63] | Her name's Ronni. |
[05:15.86] | She's a pet mortician. |
[05:21.70] | Sure. |
[05:23.94] | So,how long you been...? |
[05:28.47] | Remember when you were a kid, I'd take you to the navy yard? |
[05:32.84] | -Since then? -No,it's only been six years. |
[05:36.68] | I wanted you to think of a nice memory so you'd know I'm not a terrible guy. |
[05:43.76] | -What are you doing? -Chopping garlic. - |
[05:46.22] | You don't crush it? |
[05:48.03] | You're having an affair, I chop garlic. It's a wacky world. |
[05:53.70] | Joe,you ever been in love? |
[05:57.90] | -I don't know. -Then you haven't. - |
[06:01.54] | -You're burning tomatoes. -You're one to talk. - |
[06:07.18] | Your dad's in love. The worst part is, it's with two different women. |
[06:12.35] | Oh,man! Please tell me one of them is Ma. |
[06:15.55] | Of course one of them's Ma. What's the matter with you? |
[06:27.00] | It's like if you woke up and found out... |
[06:29.87] | ...your dad leads this double life. |
[06:32.30] | He's like actually some spy working for the ClA. |
[06:36.91] | That'd be cool. |
[06:39.04] | This blows! |
[06:41.71] | Do you think Dad cheated? |
[06:43.51] | I don't think so. That would involve sex. |
[06:46.38] | I'd like to think that our parents don't do that. |
[06:53.73] | I know. Why can't parents just stay parents? |
[06:57.03] | Why do they have to become people? Why do they have? |
[07:01.70] | Why... |
[07:04.87] | ...can't you stop staring at my breasts? … |
[07:09.57] | What? |
[07:13.01] | What? |
[07:15.15] | Didn't you get a good enough look? |
[07:18.12] | We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. |
[07:22.62] | Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your pee-pee. |
[07:36.47] | You know, I don't see that happening. |
[07:39.90] | Come on. He's right. Tit for tat. |
[07:47.15] | Well,I'm not showing you my tat! |
[07:53.82] | -It's Phoebe. -And Rog! - |
[07:57.76] | Come on up. |
[07:59.02] | Oh,good! Rog is here. |
[08:03.23] | -What's the matter with Rog? -It's a little thing. I hate that guy! - |
[08:09.13] | So he was a little analytical. That's what he does. |
[08:13.04] | Come on,he's not that bad. |
[08:15.14] | You're wrong! Why would I marry her... |
[08:18.14] | ...if I thought that she was a lesbian? |
[08:21.78] | I don't know. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. |
[08:30.69] | Why? Why would l? Why? |
[08:34.63] | I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem? |
[08:38.70] | Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe |
[08:43.53] | Wait! Go back to that "sibling" thing. |
[08:46.24] | Well,I don't know. |
[08:48.84] | You could've sabotaged your marriage... |
[08:52.28] | ...so the sibling would feel like less of a failure. |
[08:59.65] | That's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures. |
[09:06.49] | -You think I'm a failure? -lsn't he good? - |
[09:09.29] | Yeah. No,that's not what I was saying. |
[09:12.70] | I thought you were on my side. |
[09:15.00] | But maybe you sucked up to them so they'd favor you. |
[09:18.87] | I married a lesbian to make you look good! |
[09:26.24] | You're right. I mean,you're right. |
[09:29.31] | It wasn't just the Weebles, but the Weeble Play Palace... |
[09:35.79] | ...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship... |
[09:38.29] | ...with this lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. |
[09:43.66] | And Mom just gave them all away. |
[09:47.27] | That's tough,tough stuff. |
[09:50.20] | Pheebs,we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta go. |
[09:53.67] | -Feel better. -We're gonna be late,sweetie. - |
[09:57.61] | -Thanks for everything,Mon. -No problem. - |
[10:00.88] | Listen,it was great seeing you again. |
[10:05.35] | Mon,easy on those cookies,okay? |
[10:08.49] | Remember,they're just food, they're not love. |
[10:16.73] | I hate that guy! |
[10:26.34] | Oh,look. It's the woman we ordered. |
[10:33.11] | Hey,can we help you? |
[10:35.75] | No,thanks. I'm just waiting for Joey Tribbiani. |
[10:40.42] | I'm Joey Tribbiani. |
[10:42.85] | Oh,no,not you. Big Joey. Oh,my God! |
[10:47.09] | You're so much cuter than your pictures. |
[10:52.26] | I'm Ronni. |
[10:57.10] | Cheese Nip? |
[11:00.74] | Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a nip. |
[11:11.05] | Most people, when their pets pass on... |
[11:13.82] | ...want them like they're sleeping. |
[11:16.69] | Occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose. |
[11:20.93] | Like chasing their tail. |
[11:23.53] | Or jumping to catch a Frisbee. |
[11:28.10] | Joey,if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. |
[11:33.30] | -That's a good one! -Hey. |
[11:35.07] | Hey,Dad. Ronni's here. |
[11:37.51] | -Hi. -Hey. |
[11:39.81] | Hello,babe! What are you doing here? |
[11:44.62] | Oh,you left your hair at my place. |
[11:47.69] | I thought you'd need it tomorrow. |
[11:53.12] | Thank you. |
[11:55.93] | So,who's up for a big game of Kerplunk? |
[12:03.07] | Look,I shouldn't have come. |
[12:06.30] | I better go. I'll miss the train. |
[12:08.77] | -I don't want you taking that thing. -Where do I stay? Here? - |
[12:15.11] | We'll go to a hotel. |
[12:17.55] | We'll go to a hotel. |
[12:20.22] | -No,you won't. -No,we won't. |
[12:22.55] | If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff. |
[12:25.56] | I want you here so I can keep an eye on you. |
[12:28.56] | -You're gonna keep an eye on us? -Right. - |
[12:31.80] | As long as you are under my roof... |
[12:34.53] | ...you're gonna live by my rules. — |
[12:40.50] | That means no sleeping with your girlfriend. |
[12:44.11] | Wow,he's strict. |
[12:47.28] | Dad,you'll be in my room. You can stay in Chandler's room. |
[12:51.22] | And Chandler will be? |
[12:53.68] | Out here with me,bunking up. |
[12:56.00] | Oh,bunking up. If you smell s'mores, don't be alarmed. |
[13:00.62] | Thanks. You're a good kid. |
[13:03.33] | I'll show you to my room. |
[13:07.00] | That sounds weird not followed by, "No,it's late." |
[13:15.11] | This is just for tonight. Tomorrow you gotta change. |
[13:20.31] | Change? |
[13:21.55] | -Break up with Ronni -I can't! - |
[13:23.78] | Then come clean with Ma! This is not right! |
[13:27.08] | I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room! |
[13:43.67] | Hey,kickie! |
[13:47.84] | -What are you doing? -Getting comfortable. - |
[13:50.74] | -I can't sleep in my underwear. -Well,you're gonna. - |
[14:00.48] | I was thinking about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.... |
[14:08.26] | Are they end-to-end, or tall,like pancakes? |
[14:12.13] | You know,how I date all these women. |
[14:15.43] | I always figured,when the right one comes along... |
[14:18.74] | ... I'll be able to go the distance. |
[14:24.68] | You're not him,you're you. |
[14:32.02] | -No. -No. -No.-No. |
[14:33.28] | You chose the out-of-work-actor business. |
[14:37.56] | That wasn't easy,but you did it. |
[14:40.62] | I believe when the right woman comes along... |
[14:43.73] | ...you'll have the guts to say, "No,thanks,I'm married." |
[14:54.07] | -You really think so? -Yeah,I really do. - |
[14:57.94] | -Thanks,Chandler. -Get off! |
[15:12.72] | -Hi. -Hi. May I help you? -Hi - |
[15:14.79] | Joey said I could use your shower since Chandler's in ours. |
[15:20.03] | Okay. Who are you? ok. |
[15:22.53] | Oh,I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. |
[15:25.77] | The mistress? |
[15:29.54] | -Come on in. -Thanks. |
[15:31.54] | I'm Rachel. Bathroom's there. |
[15:33.71] | Ronni,how long has Chandler been in the shower? |
[15:37.31] | Oh,like five minutes. |
[15:40.28] | Perfect. |
[15:43.59] | Fasten your seat belts, it's pee-pee time. |
[15:53.03] | -Hey,Mr. Trib. -Hey,good morning,dear. - |
[15:58.07] | Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing. |
[16:17.55] | You were supposed to be in there so I'd see your thing! |
[16:22.76] | Sorry,my thing was in there with me. |
[16:34.57] | -How's it going? -Good. |
[16:36.77] | Roger's having a dinner thing. He wanted me to invite you guys. |
[16:44.48] | -So,what's going on? -Nothing. |
[16:47.52] | It's just.... |
[16:49.89] | It's Roger,you know? |
[16:52.19] | There's something about |
[16:54.16] | We just feel that he's.... |
[16:56.49] | -We hate that guy! -We hate him! - |
[16:59.33] | -We're sorry,Pheebs. |
[17:02.30] | Don't you think it's just that he's so perceptive... |
[17:06.10] | ...it freaked you out? |
[17:07.91] | No,we hate him! |
[17:09.91] | I'm sorry. |
[17:24.39] | -Ma! What are you doing here? -I came to give you this and this! - |
[17:30.19] | Big ring! |
[17:35.47] | ...about making things right? |
[17:38.14] | Things were fine this way! |
[17:40.44] | There's chicken in there. Put it away. |
[17:43.61] | For God's sake,Joey! Really. |
[17:48.88] | -Hold on. You knew? -Of course I knew. What do you think? - |
[17:53.32] | Your father is no James Bond. |
[17:55.65] | You should've heard his stories. |
[17:58.00] | "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's." “ |
[18:00.69] | -What is that? Please! -So then,how could you? - |
[18:05.00] | Do you remember how your father used to be? |
[18:07.87] | Always yelling. Nothing made him happy. |
[18:11.27] | Not that wood shop,not those stupid little ships in the bottle. |
[18:16.24] | Now he's happy. I mean,it's nice. He has a hobby. |
[18:23.15] | Ma,I don't mean to be disrespectful... |
[18:26.82] | ... but what the hell are you talking about? |
[18:29.92] | -I mean,what about you? -Me? I'm fine. - |
[18:33.86] | Look,honey,in an ideal world... |
[18:37.90] | ...there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting. |
[18:43.30] | And something else: |
[18:45.17] | Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along... |
[18:48.84] | ... he's so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive. |
[18:53.48] | He's been more loving. It's like every day is our anniversary. |
[18:58.32] | -I'm happy for you? -Well,don't be! - |
[19:03.02] | Now everything's screwed up. |
[19:06.39] | I just want it the way it was. |
[19:10.86] | Ma,I'm sorry. |
[19:17.73] | I know you did,cookie. I know you did. |
[19:24.58] | So tell me. Did you see her? |
[19:30.18] | Yeah. |
[19:32.15] | -You're 10 times prettier than she is. -That's sweet. - |
[19:38.46] | Could I take her? |
[19:41.09] | With this ring,no contest. |
[19:55.01] | Oh,no! Don't ever do that! oh, |
[19:57.27] | -What? -I'm sorry. |
[19:58.68] | I have a thing, which means you can't ever do that! |
[20:04.68] | -What's wrong,sweetie? -Nothing. |
[20:08.39] | -No,what's wrong? Come on. -Okay. |
[20:15.56] | It's nothing. I'm fine. It's just It's my friends. |
[20:19.80] | They have a liking problem with you... |
[20:22.67] | ...in that they don't. |
[20:29.17] | They don't? They don't? |
[20:31.34] | But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. |
[20:35.88] | They don't see all the good and sweet stuff. |
[20:39.65] | -They think you're a little -What? |
[20:43.19] | Intense and creepy. |
[20:47.36] | -Oh. -But I don't. Me,Phoebe. -oh - |
[20:53.40] | -I'm not at all surprised about that. -That's why you're so great. - |
[20:58.67] | It's quite typical behavior... |
[21:01.07] | ...when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. |
[21:05.41] | You know,this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted... |
[21:10.21] | ...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups... |
[21:15.65] | ...which might as well have nipples on them. |
[21:20.26] | And you're all like, "Oh,define me! Define me! |
[21:25.00] | Love me! I need love! |
[21:29.27] | You talked to your dad? |
[21:31.10] | He's gonna keep cheating on Ma like she wanted. |
[21:34.40] | Ma will keep pretending she doesn't know. |
[21:37.31] | And my sister,Tina, can't see her husband. |
[21:40.21] | He got a restraining order. |
[21:43.15] | Which has nothing to do with it. I found out today. |
[21:47.88] | Things have changed here on Waltons'mountain. |
[21:52.69] | -So,Joey,are you okay? -Yeah,I guess. |
[21:55.89] | It's just You know,they're parents. |
[21:58.50] | After a certain point, you gotta let go. |
[22:01.80] | You gotta let them make their own mistakes. |
[22:06.27] | And think,in a few years, we'll turn into them. |
[22:09.84] | Oh,please. |
[22:11.34] | If I turn into my parents,I'll be an alcoholic blond chasing men... |
[22:15.88] | ...or I'll end up like my mom! |
[22:23.62] | -Hey. -Hey,Pheebs. |
[22:25.76] | How's it going? |
[22:27.66] | Okay,except I broke up with Roger. |
[22:32.63] | -Yeah,right. -No,no,really. |
[22:37.60] | -What happened? -I don't know. I mean... - |
[22:41.51] | ... he's a good person, and he can be really sweet. |
[22:45.78] | In some ways, I think he is so right for me. |
[22:48.88] | It's just.... I hate that guy! |
[22:59.09] | Hi,Joey. What's going on? Hi, |
[23:01.89] | Clear the tracks for the boobie payback. |
[23:04.76] | Next stop,Rachel Greene. |
[23:12.87] | Joey,what the hell were you doing? |
[23:15.77] | Sorry,wrong boobies! |
[23:31.29] | Hello,Joey! |
[00:32.-1] | ... your nippular areas. |
[01:41.-4] | But you tell it really well, sweetie. Thanks. Okay. |
[02:14.-1] | Okay, you guys want anything else? |
[03:06.-3] | That' s it? I mean, mittens are " nice." |
[03:57.-1] | How did you know that? It' s textbook. |
[04:46.-3] | I gotta go. Miss you too. |
[10:22.-2] | Good night, you guys. |
[14:22.-2] | Now I' m looking at my dad, thinking |
[14:28.-4] | When they wanted you in your father' s business, did you cave? |
[16:14.-4] | What' s with you? I thought it was Chandler! |
[17:32.-3] | Why' d you fill your father' s head with garbage... |
[19:14.-3] | I just did what I thought you' d want. |
[23:34.-3] | Hello, dear! |
[00:16.09] | I' m sorry! That is it! |
[00:18.76] | You barge in here and you don' t knock? |
[00:21.37] | You have no respect for privacy. No, you wait! |
[00:25.14] | Can I just say one thing? What?! |
[00:27.77] | That' s a relatively open weave. I can still see... |
[00:38.12] | The One With The Boobies |
[01:26.33] | Honey, tell them the story about your patient... |
[01:30.27] | ... who thinks things are other things. |
[01:33.00] | When the phone rings and she takes a shower. |
[01:37.74] | That' s pretty much it. |
[01:45.85] | Now go away so we can talk about you. |
[01:48.92] | Okay. I' ll miss you. |
[01:52.62] | lsn' t he great? He' s cute. He likes you so much. |
[01:56.29] | I know. He' s so sweet. And so complicated, you know? |
[02:00.60] | And for a shrink, he' s not too shrinky. |
[02:03.90] | Think you' ll do it on his couch? |
[02:06.27] | I don' t know. That' s a little weird. |
[02:09.27] | It' s vinyl. |
[02:16.51] | Could I have? We' re all out. Anybody else? |
[02:20.92] | Did I miss something? |
[02:22.89] | No, she' s still upset because I saw her boobies. |
[02:26.89] | What were you doing seeing her boobies? |
[02:30.10] | It was an accident. I wasn' t across the street with a telescope. |
[02:35.80] | Can we change the subject, please? |
[02:38.74] | These aren' t her " boobies." These are her breasts. |
[02:43.68] | Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change. |
[02:47.81] | I always liked " Bazoombas." |
[02:51.02] | Gives them a Latin spin. |
[02:54.29] | Can we drop this already, please? |
[02:58.12] | Why are you embarrassed? They were very nice boobies. |
[03:03.03] | " Nice"? They were " nice"? |
[03:10.80] | Okay. Rock, hard place. Me. |
[03:20.01] | You' re so funny! |
[03:22.51] | He' s really funny. |
[03:24.75] | I wouldn' t wanna be there when the laughter stops. |
[03:29.25] | Whoa, back up there, sparky. |
[03:32.92] | What did you mean by that? |
[03:35.19] | It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues... |
[03:38.60] | ... that you use your humor to keep people at a distance. |
[03:45.00] | I mean, I just met you. I don' t know you from Adam. |
[03:49.64] | Only child, right? |
[03:52.21] | Parents divorced before you hit puberty. |
[04:03.12] | Hey, you guys. You all know my dad, right? |
[04:06.82] | How long are you in the city? Two days. I got a job. |
[04:10.53] | I' m better off staying with Joey... |
[04:12.90] | ... than going back and forth on the ferry. |
[04:15.73] | I don' t know this one. This is my friend Roger. |
[04:19.04] | Good to meet you. You too. |
[04:21.04] | What happened to the puppet guy? Dad. |
[04:25.34] | Oh, excuse me. So, Ross, how' s the wife? |
[04:32.22] | 0 for 2, huh? |
[04:34.62] | Chandler, say something funny. |
[04:48.87] | I love you, but it' s getting late Say hi. Hey, Ma. |
[04:53.07] | I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and |
[04:57.81] | Excuse me? |
[05:02.85] | Did you know this isn' t Ma? |
[05:13.63] | Her name' s Ronni. |
[05:15.86] | She' s a pet mortician. |
[05:21.70] | Sure. |
[05:23.94] | So, how long you been...? |
[05:28.47] | Remember when you were a kid, I' d take you to the navy yard? |
[05:32.84] | Since then? No, it' s only been six years. |
[05:36.68] | I wanted you to think of a nice memory so you' d know I' m not a terrible guy. |
[05:43.76] | What are you doing? Chopping garlic. |
[05:46.22] | You don' t crush it? |
[05:48.03] | You' re having an affair, I chop garlic. It' s a wacky world. |
[05:53.70] | Joe, you ever been in love? |
[05:57.90] | I don' t know. Then you haven' t. |
[06:01.54] | You' re burning tomatoes. You' re one to talk. |
[06:07.18] | Your dad' s in love. The worst part is, it' s with two different women. |
[06:12.35] | Oh, man! Please tell me one of them is Ma. |
[06:15.55] | Of course one of them' s Ma. What' s the matter with you? |
[06:27.00] | It' s like if you woke up and found out... |
[06:29.87] | ... your dad leads this double life. |
[06:32.30] | He' s like actually some spy working for the ClA. |
[06:36.91] | That' d be cool. |
[06:39.04] | This blows! |
[06:41.71] | Do you think Dad cheated? |
[06:43.51] | I don' t think so. That would involve sex. |
[06:46.38] | I' d like to think that our parents don' t do that. |
[06:53.73] | I know. Why can' t parents just stay parents? |
[06:57.03] | Why do they have to become people? Why do they have? |
[07:01.70] | Why... |
[07:04.87] | ... can' t you stop staring at my breasts? |
[07:09.57] | What? |
[07:13.01] | What? |
[07:15.15] | Didn' t you get a good enough look? |
[07:18.12] | We' re all adults here. There' s only one way to resolve this. |
[07:22.62] | Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your peepee. |
[07:36.47] | You know, I don' t see that happening. |
[07:39.90] | Come on. He' s right. Tit for tat. |
[07:47.15] | Well, I' m not showing you my tat! |
[07:53.82] | It' s Phoebe. And Rog! |
[07:57.76] | Come on up. |
[07:59.02] | Oh, good! Rog is here. |
[08:03.23] | What' s the matter with Rog? It' s a little thing. I hate that guy! |
[08:09.13] | So he was a little analytical. That' s what he does. |
[08:13.04] | Come on, he' s not that bad. |
[08:15.14] | You' re wrong! Why would I marry her... |
[08:18.14] | ... if I thought that she was a lesbian? |
[08:21.78] | I don' t know. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. |
[08:30.69] | Why? Why would l? Why? |
[08:34.63] | I don' t know. Maybe low selfesteem? |
[08:38.70] | Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe |
[08:43.53] | Wait! Go back to that " sibling" thing. |
[08:46.24] | Well, I don' t know. |
[08:48.84] | You could' ve sabotaged your marriage... |
[08:52.28] | ... so the sibling would feel like less of a failure. |
[08:59.65] | That' s ridiculous! I don' t feel guilty for her failures. |
[09:06.49] | You think I' m a failure? lsn' t he good? |
[09:09.29] | Yeah. No, that' s not what I was saying. |
[09:12.70] | I thought you were on my side. |
[09:15.00] | But maybe you sucked up to them so they' d favor you. |
[09:18.87] | I married a lesbian to make you look good! |
[09:26.24] | You' re right. I mean, you' re right. |
[09:29.31] | It wasn' t just the Weebles, but the Weeble Play Palace... |
[09:35.79] | ... and the Weeble' s Cruise Ship... |
[09:38.29] | ... with this lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. |
[09:43.66] | And Mom just gave them all away. |
[09:47.27] | That' s tough, tough stuff. |
[09:50.20] | Pheebs, we' re gonna catch that movie, we gotta go. |
[09:53.67] | Feel better. We' re gonna be late, sweetie. |
[09:57.61] | Thanks for everything, Mon. No problem. |
[10:00.88] | Listen, it was great seeing you again. |
[10:05.35] | Mon, easy on those cookies, okay? |
[10:08.49] | Remember, they' re just food, they' re not love. |
[10:16.73] | I hate that guy! |
[10:26.34] | Oh, look. It' s the woman we ordered. |
[10:33.11] | Hey, can we help you? |
[10:35.75] | No, thanks. I' m just waiting for Joey Tribbiani. |
[10:40.42] | I' m Joey Tribbiani. |
[10:42.85] | Oh, no, not you. Big Joey. Oh, my God! |
[10:47.09] | You' re so much cuter than your pictures. |
[10:52.26] | I' m Ronni. |
[10:57.10] | Cheese Nip? |
[11:00.74] | Joey' s having an embolism, but I' d go for a nip. |
[11:11.05] | Most people, when their pets pass on... |
[11:13.82] | ... want them like they' re sleeping. |
[11:16.69] | Occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose. |
[11:20.93] | Like chasing their tail. |
[11:23.53] | Or jumping to catch a Frisbee. |
[11:28.10] | Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. |
[11:33.30] | That' s a good one! Hey. |
[11:35.07] | Hey, Dad. Ronni' s here. |
[11:37.51] | Hi. Hey. |
[11:39.81] | Hello, babe! What are you doing here? |
[11:44.62] | Oh, you left your hair at my place. |
[11:47.69] | I thought you' d need it tomorrow. |
[11:53.12] | Thank you. |
[11:55.93] | So, who' s up for a big game of Kerplunk? |
[12:03.07] | Look, I shouldn' t have come. |
[12:06.30] | I better go. I' ll miss the train. |
[12:08.77] | I don' t want you taking that thing. Where do I stay? Here? |
[12:15.11] | We' ll go to a hotel. |
[12:17.55] | We' ll go to a hotel. |
[12:20.22] | No, you won' t. No, we won' t. |
[12:22.55] | If you go to a hotel, you' ll be doing stuff. |
[12:25.56] | I want you here so I can keep an eye on you. |
[12:28.56] | You' re gonna keep an eye on us? Right. |
[12:31.80] | As long as you are under my roof... |
[12:34.53] | ... you' re gonna live by my rules. |
[12:40.50] | That means no sleeping with your girlfriend. |
[12:44.11] | Wow, he' s strict. |
[12:47.28] | Dad, you' ll be in my room. You can stay in Chandler' s room. |
[12:51.22] | And Chandler will be? |
[12:53.68] | Out here with me, bunking up. |
[12:56.00] | Oh, bunking up. If you smell s' mores, don' t be alarmed. |
[13:00.62] | Thanks. You' re a good kid. |
[13:03.33] | I' ll show you to my room. |
[13:07.00] | That sounds weird not followed by, " No, it' s late." |
[13:15.11] | This is just for tonight. Tomorrow you gotta change. |
[13:20.31] | Change? |
[13:21.55] | Break up with Ronni I can' t! |
[13:23.78] | Then come clean with Ma! This is not right! |
[13:27.08] | I don' t wanna hear it! Now go to my room! |
[13:43.67] | Hey, kickie! |
[13:47.84] | What are you doing? Getting comfortable. |
[13:50.74] | I can' t sleep in my underwear. Well, you' re gonna. |
[14:00.48] | I was thinking about how I' m always seeing girls on top of girls.... |
[14:08.26] | Are they endtoend, or tall, like pancakes? |
[14:12.13] | You know, how I date all these women. |
[14:15.43] | I always figured, when the right one comes along... |
[14:18.74] | ... I' ll be able to go the distance. |
[14:24.68] | You' re not him, you' re you. |
[14:32.02] | No. No. No. No. |
[14:33.28] | You chose the outofworkactor business. |
[14:37.56] | That wasn' t easy, but you did it. |
[14:40.62] | I believe when the right woman comes along... |
[14:43.73] | ... you' ll have the guts to say, " No, thanks, I' m married." |
[14:54.07] | You really think so? Yeah, I really do. |
[14:57.94] | Thanks, Chandler. Get off! |
[15:12.72] | Hi. Hi. May I help you? Hi |
[15:14.79] | Joey said I could use your shower since Chandler' s in ours. |
[15:20.03] | Okay. Who are you? ok. |
[15:22.53] | Oh, I' m Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. |
[15:25.77] | The mistress? |
[15:29.54] | Come on in. Thanks. |
[15:31.54] | I' m Rachel. Bathroom' s there. |
[15:33.71] | Ronni, how long has Chandler been in the shower? |
[15:37.31] | Oh, like five minutes. |
[15:40.28] | Perfect. |
[15:43.59] | Fasten your seat belts, it' s peepee time. |
[15:53.03] | Hey, Mr. Trib. Hey, good morning, dear. |
[15:58.07] | Chandler Bing, it' s time to see your thing. |
[16:17.55] | You were supposed to be in there so I' d see your thing! |
[16:22.76] | Sorry, my thing was in there with me. |
[16:34.57] | How' s it going? Good. |
[16:36.77] | Roger' s having a dinner thing. He wanted me to invite you guys. |
[16:44.48] | So, what' s going on? Nothing. |
[16:47.52] | It' s just.... |
[16:49.89] | It' s Roger, you know? |
[16:52.19] | There' s something about |
[16:54.16] | We just feel that he' s.... |
[16:56.49] | We hate that guy! We hate him! |
[16:59.33] | We' re sorry, Pheebs. |
[17:02.30] | Don' t you think it' s just that he' s so perceptive... |
[17:06.10] | ... it freaked you out? |
[17:07.91] | No, we hate him! |
[17:09.91] | I' m sorry. |
[17:24.39] | Ma! What are you doing here? I came to give you this and this! |
[17:30.19] | Big ring! |
[17:35.47] | ... about making things right? |
[17:38.14] | Things were fine this way! |
[17:40.44] | There' s chicken in there. Put it away. |
[17:43.61] | For God' s sake, Joey! Really. |
[17:48.88] | Hold on. You knew? Of course I knew. What do you think? |
[17:53.32] | Your father is no James Bond. |
[17:55.65] | You should' ve heard his stories. |
[17:58.00] | " I' m sleeping over at my accountant' s." " |
[18:00.69] | What is that? Please! So then, how could you? |
[18:05.00] | Do you remember how your father used to be? |
[18:07.87] | Always yelling. Nothing made him happy. |
[18:11.27] | Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle. |
[18:16.24] | Now he' s happy. I mean, it' s nice. He has a hobby. |
[18:23.15] | Ma, I don' t mean to be disrespectful... |
[18:26.82] | ... but what the hell are you talking about? |
[18:29.92] | I mean, what about you? Me? I' m fine. |
[18:33.86] | Look, honey, in an ideal world... |
[18:37.90] | ... there' d be no her and your father would look like Sting. |
[18:43.30] | And something else: |
[18:45.17] | Ever since that poodlestuffer came along... |
[18:48.84] | ... he' s so ashamed of himself that he' s been more attentive. |
[18:53.48] | He' s been more loving. It' s like every day is our anniversary. |
[18:58.32] | I' m happy for you? Well, don' t be! |
[19:03.02] | Now everything' s screwed up. |
[19:06.39] | I just want it the way it was. |
[19:10.86] | Ma, I' m sorry. |
[19:17.73] | I know you did, cookie. I know you did. |
[19:24.58] | So tell me. Did you see her? |
[19:30.18] | Yeah. |
[19:32.15] | You' re 10 times prettier than she is. That' s sweet. |
[19:38.46] | Could I take her? |
[19:41.09] | With this ring, no contest. |
[19:55.01] | Oh, no! Don' t ever do that! oh, |
[19:57.27] | What? I' m sorry. |
[19:58.68] | I have a thing, which means you can' t ever do that! |
[20:04.68] | What' s wrong, sweetie? Nothing. |
[20:08.39] | No, what' s wrong? Come on. Okay. |
[20:15.56] | It' s nothing. I' m fine. It' s just It' s my friends. |
[20:19.80] | They have a liking problem with you... |
[20:22.67] | ... in that they don' t. |
[20:29.17] | They don' t? They don' t? |
[20:31.34] | But they don' t see all the wonderfulness that I see. |
[20:35.88] | They don' t see all the good and sweet stuff. |
[20:39.65] | They think you' re a little What? |
[20:43.19] | Intense and creepy. |
[20:47.36] | Oh. But I don' t. Me, Phoebe. oh |
[20:53.40] | I' m not at all surprised about that. That' s why you' re so great. |
[20:58.67] | It' s quite typical behavior... |
[21:01.07] | ... when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. |
[21:05.41] | You know, this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted... |
[21:10.21] | ... sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups... |
[21:15.65] | ... which might as well have nipples on them. |
[21:20.26] | And you' re all like, " Oh, define me! Define me! |
[21:25.00] | Love me! I need love! |
[21:29.27] | You talked to your dad? |
[21:31.10] | He' s gonna keep cheating on Ma like she wanted. |
[21:34.40] | Ma will keep pretending she doesn' t know. |
[21:37.31] | And my sister, Tina, can' t see her husband. |
[21:40.21] | He got a restraining order. |
[21:43.15] | Which has nothing to do with it. I found out today. |
[21:47.88] | Things have changed here on Waltons' mountain. |
[21:52.69] | So, Joey, are you okay? Yeah, I guess. |
[21:55.89] | It' s just You know, they' re parents. |
[21:58.50] | After a certain point, you gotta let go. |
[22:01.80] | You gotta let them make their own mistakes. |
[22:06.27] | And think, in a few years, we' ll turn into them. |
[22:09.84] | Oh, please. |
[22:11.34] | If I turn into my parents, I' ll be an alcoholic blond chasing men... |
[22:15.88] | ... or I' ll end up like my mom! |
[22:23.62] | Hey. Hey, Pheebs. |
[22:25.76] | How' s it going? |
[22:27.66] | Okay, except I broke up with Roger. |
[22:32.63] | Yeah, right. No, no, really. |
[22:37.60] | What happened? I don' t know. I mean... |
[22:41.51] | ... he' s a good person, and he can be really sweet. |
[22:45.78] | In some ways, I think he is so right for me. |
[22:48.88] | It' s just.... I hate that guy! |
[22:59.09] | Hi, Joey. What' s going on? Hi, |
[23:01.89] | Clear the tracks for the boobie payback. |
[23:04.76] | Next stop, Rachel Greene. |
[23:12.87] | Joey, what the hell were you doing? |
[23:15.77] | Sorry, wrong boobies! |
[23:31.29] | Hello, Joey! |
[00:32.-1] | ... your nippular areas. |
[01:41.-4] | But you tell it really well, sweetie. Thanks. Okay. |
[02:14.-1] | Okay, you guys want anything else? |
[03:06.-3] | That' s it? I mean, mittens are " nice." |
[03:57.-1] | How did you know that? It' s textbook. |
[04:46.-3] | I gotta go. Miss you too. |
[10:22.-2] | Good night, you guys. |
[14:22.-2] | Now I' m looking at my dad, thinking |
[14:28.-4] | When they wanted you in your father' s business, did you cave? |
[16:14.-4] | What' s with you? I thought it was Chandler! |
[17:32.-3] | Why' d you fill your father' s head with garbage... |
[19:14.-3] | I just did what I thought you' d want. |
[23:34.-3] | Hello, dear! |
[00:16.09] | I' m sorry! That is it! |
[00:18.76] | You barge in here and you don' t knock? |
[00:21.37] | You have no respect for privacy. No, you wait! |
[00:25.14] | Can I just say one thing? What?! |
[00:27.77] | That' s a relatively open weave. I can still see... |
[00:38.12] | The One With The Boobies |
[01:26.33] | Honey, tell them the story about your patient... |
[01:30.27] | ... who thinks things are other things. |
[01:33.00] | When the phone rings and she takes a shower. |
[01:37.74] | That' s pretty much it. |
[01:45.85] | Now go away so we can talk about you. |
[01:48.92] | Okay. I' ll miss you. |
[01:52.62] | lsn' t he great? He' s cute. He likes you so much. |
[01:56.29] | I know. He' s so sweet. And so complicated, you know? |
[02:00.60] | And for a shrink, he' s not too shrinky. |
[02:03.90] | Think you' ll do it on his couch? |
[02:06.27] | I don' t know. That' s a little weird. |
[02:09.27] | It' s vinyl. |
[02:16.51] | Could I have? We' re all out. Anybody else? |
[02:20.92] | Did I miss something? |
[02:22.89] | No, she' s still upset because I saw her boobies. |
[02:26.89] | What were you doing seeing her boobies? |
[02:30.10] | It was an accident. I wasn' t across the street with a telescope. |
[02:35.80] | Can we change the subject, please? |
[02:38.74] | These aren' t her " boobies." These are her breasts. |
[02:43.68] | Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change. |
[02:47.81] | I always liked " Bazoombas." |
[02:51.02] | Gives them a Latin spin. |
[02:54.29] | Can we drop this already, please? |
[02:58.12] | Why are you embarrassed? They were very nice boobies. |
[03:03.03] | " Nice"? They were " nice"? |
[03:10.80] | Okay. Rock, hard place. Me. |
[03:20.01] | You' re so funny! |
[03:22.51] | He' s really funny. |
[03:24.75] | I wouldn' t wanna be there when the laughter stops. |
[03:29.25] | Whoa, back up there, sparky. |
[03:32.92] | What did you mean by that? |
[03:35.19] | It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues... |
[03:38.60] | ... that you use your humor to keep people at a distance. |
[03:45.00] | I mean, I just met you. I don' t know you from Adam. |
[03:49.64] | Only child, right? |
[03:52.21] | Parents divorced before you hit puberty. |
[04:03.12] | Hey, you guys. You all know my dad, right? |
[04:06.82] | How long are you in the city? Two days. I got a job. |
[04:10.53] | I' m better off staying with Joey... |
[04:12.90] | ... than going back and forth on the ferry. |
[04:15.73] | I don' t know this one. This is my friend Roger. |
[04:19.04] | Good to meet you. You too. |
[04:21.04] | What happened to the puppet guy? Dad. |
[04:25.34] | Oh, excuse me. So, Ross, how' s the wife? |
[04:32.22] | 0 for 2, huh? |
[04:34.62] | Chandler, say something funny. |
[04:48.87] | I love you, but it' s getting late Say hi. Hey, Ma. |
[04:53.07] | I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and |
[04:57.81] | Excuse me? |
[05:02.85] | Did you know this isn' t Ma? |
[05:13.63] | Her name' s Ronni. |
[05:15.86] | She' s a pet mortician. |
[05:21.70] | Sure. |
[05:23.94] | So, how long you been...? |
[05:28.47] | Remember when you were a kid, I' d take you to the navy yard? |
[05:32.84] | Since then? No, it' s only been six years. |
[05:36.68] | I wanted you to think of a nice memory so you' d know I' m not a terrible guy. |
[05:43.76] | What are you doing? Chopping garlic. |
[05:46.22] | You don' t crush it? |
[05:48.03] | You' re having an affair, I chop garlic. It' s a wacky world. |
[05:53.70] | Joe, you ever been in love? |
[05:57.90] | I don' t know. Then you haven' t. |
[06:01.54] | You' re burning tomatoes. You' re one to talk. |
[06:07.18] | Your dad' s in love. The worst part is, it' s with two different women. |
[06:12.35] | Oh, man! Please tell me one of them is Ma. |
[06:15.55] | Of course one of them' s Ma. What' s the matter with you? |
[06:27.00] | It' s like if you woke up and found out... |
[06:29.87] | ... your dad leads this double life. |
[06:32.30] | He' s like actually some spy working for the ClA. |
[06:36.91] | That' d be cool. |
[06:39.04] | This blows! |
[06:41.71] | Do you think Dad cheated? |
[06:43.51] | I don' t think so. That would involve sex. |
[06:46.38] | I' d like to think that our parents don' t do that. |
[06:53.73] | I know. Why can' t parents just stay parents? |
[06:57.03] | Why do they have to become people? Why do they have? |
[07:01.70] | Why... |
[07:04.87] | ... can' t you stop staring at my breasts? |
[07:09.57] | What? |
[07:13.01] | What? |
[07:15.15] | Didn' t you get a good enough look? |
[07:18.12] | We' re all adults here. There' s only one way to resolve this. |
[07:22.62] | Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your peepee. |
[07:36.47] | You know, I don' t see that happening. |
[07:39.90] | Come on. He' s right. Tit for tat. |
[07:47.15] | Well, I' m not showing you my tat! |
[07:53.82] | It' s Phoebe. And Rog! |
[07:57.76] | Come on up. |
[07:59.02] | Oh, good! Rog is here. |
[08:03.23] | What' s the matter with Rog? It' s a little thing. I hate that guy! |
[08:09.13] | So he was a little analytical. That' s what he does. |
[08:13.04] | Come on, he' s not that bad. |
[08:15.14] | You' re wrong! Why would I marry her... |
[08:18.14] | ... if I thought that she was a lesbian? |
[08:21.78] | I don' t know. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. |
[08:30.69] | Why? Why would l? Why? |
[08:34.63] | I don' t know. Maybe low selfesteem? |
[08:38.70] | Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe |
[08:43.53] | Wait! Go back to that " sibling" thing. |
[08:46.24] | Well, I don' t know. |
[08:48.84] | You could' ve sabotaged your marriage... |
[08:52.28] | ... so the sibling would feel like less of a failure. |
[08:59.65] | That' s ridiculous! I don' t feel guilty for her failures. |
[09:06.49] | You think I' m a failure? lsn' t he good? |
[09:09.29] | Yeah. No, that' s not what I was saying. |
[09:12.70] | I thought you were on my side. |
[09:15.00] | But maybe you sucked up to them so they' d favor you. |
[09:18.87] | I married a lesbian to make you look good! |
[09:26.24] | You' re right. I mean, you' re right. |
[09:29.31] | It wasn' t just the Weebles, but the Weeble Play Palace... |
[09:35.79] | ... and the Weeble' s Cruise Ship... |
[09:38.29] | ... with this lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. |
[09:43.66] | And Mom just gave them all away. |
[09:47.27] | That' s tough, tough stuff. |
[09:50.20] | Pheebs, we' re gonna catch that movie, we gotta go. |
[09:53.67] | Feel better. We' re gonna be late, sweetie. |
[09:57.61] | Thanks for everything, Mon. No problem. |
[10:00.88] | Listen, it was great seeing you again. |
[10:05.35] | Mon, easy on those cookies, okay? |
[10:08.49] | Remember, they' re just food, they' re not love. |
[10:16.73] | I hate that guy! |
[10:26.34] | Oh, look. It' s the woman we ordered. |
[10:33.11] | Hey, can we help you? |
[10:35.75] | No, thanks. I' m just waiting for Joey Tribbiani. |
[10:40.42] | I' m Joey Tribbiani. |
[10:42.85] | Oh, no, not you. Big Joey. Oh, my God! |
[10:47.09] | You' re so much cuter than your pictures. |
[10:52.26] | I' m Ronni. |
[10:57.10] | Cheese Nip? |
[11:00.74] | Joey' s having an embolism, but I' d go for a nip. |
[11:11.05] | Most people, when their pets pass on... |
[11:13.82] | ... want them like they' re sleeping. |
[11:16.69] | Occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose. |
[11:20.93] | Like chasing their tail. |
[11:23.53] | Or jumping to catch a Frisbee. |
[11:28.10] | Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. |
[11:33.30] | That' s a good one! Hey. |
[11:35.07] | Hey, Dad. Ronni' s here. |
[11:37.51] | Hi. Hey. |
[11:39.81] | Hello, babe! What are you doing here? |
[11:44.62] | Oh, you left your hair at my place. |
[11:47.69] | I thought you' d need it tomorrow. |
[11:53.12] | Thank you. |
[11:55.93] | So, who' s up for a big game of Kerplunk? |
[12:03.07] | Look, I shouldn' t have come. |
[12:06.30] | I better go. I' ll miss the train. |
[12:08.77] | I don' t want you taking that thing. Where do I stay? Here? |
[12:15.11] | We' ll go to a hotel. |
[12:17.55] | We' ll go to a hotel. |
[12:20.22] | No, you won' t. No, we won' t. |
[12:22.55] | If you go to a hotel, you' ll be doing stuff. |
[12:25.56] | I want you here so I can keep an eye on you. |
[12:28.56] | You' re gonna keep an eye on us? Right. |
[12:31.80] | As long as you are under my roof... |
[12:34.53] | ... you' re gonna live by my rules. |
[12:40.50] | That means no sleeping with your girlfriend. |
[12:44.11] | Wow, he' s strict. |
[12:47.28] | Dad, you' ll be in my room. You can stay in Chandler' s room. |
[12:51.22] | And Chandler will be? |
[12:53.68] | Out here with me, bunking up. |
[12:56.00] | Oh, bunking up. If you smell s' mores, don' t be alarmed. |
[13:00.62] | Thanks. You' re a good kid. |
[13:03.33] | I' ll show you to my room. |
[13:07.00] | That sounds weird not followed by, " No, it' s late." |
[13:15.11] | This is just for tonight. Tomorrow you gotta change. |
[13:20.31] | Change? |
[13:21.55] | Break up with Ronni I can' t! |
[13:23.78] | Then come clean with Ma! This is not right! |
[13:27.08] | I don' t wanna hear it! Now go to my room! |
[13:43.67] | Hey, kickie! |
[13:47.84] | What are you doing? Getting comfortable. |
[13:50.74] | I can' t sleep in my underwear. Well, you' re gonna. |
[14:00.48] | I was thinking about how I' m always seeing girls on top of girls.... |
[14:08.26] | Are they endtoend, or tall, like pancakes? |
[14:12.13] | You know, how I date all these women. |
[14:15.43] | I always figured, when the right one comes along... |
[14:18.74] | ... I' ll be able to go the distance. |
[14:24.68] | You' re not him, you' re you. |
[14:32.02] | No. No. No. No. |
[14:33.28] | You chose the outofworkactor business. |
[14:37.56] | That wasn' t easy, but you did it. |
[14:40.62] | I believe when the right woman comes along... |
[14:43.73] | ... you' ll have the guts to say, " No, thanks, I' m married." |
[14:54.07] | You really think so? Yeah, I really do. |
[14:57.94] | Thanks, Chandler. Get off! |
[15:12.72] | Hi. Hi. May I help you? Hi |
[15:14.79] | Joey said I could use your shower since Chandler' s in ours. |
[15:20.03] | Okay. Who are you? ok. |
[15:22.53] | Oh, I' m Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. |
[15:25.77] | The mistress? |
[15:29.54] | Come on in. Thanks. |
[15:31.54] | I' m Rachel. Bathroom' s there. |
[15:33.71] | Ronni, how long has Chandler been in the shower? |
[15:37.31] | Oh, like five minutes. |
[15:40.28] | Perfect. |
[15:43.59] | Fasten your seat belts, it' s peepee time. |
[15:53.03] | Hey, Mr. Trib. Hey, good morning, dear. |
[15:58.07] | Chandler Bing, it' s time to see your thing. |
[16:17.55] | You were supposed to be in there so I' d see your thing! |
[16:22.76] | Sorry, my thing was in there with me. |
[16:34.57] | How' s it going? Good. |
[16:36.77] | Roger' s having a dinner thing. He wanted me to invite you guys. |
[16:44.48] | So, what' s going on? Nothing. |
[16:47.52] | It' s just.... |
[16:49.89] | It' s Roger, you know? |
[16:52.19] | There' s something about |
[16:54.16] | We just feel that he' s.... |
[16:56.49] | We hate that guy! We hate him! |
[16:59.33] | We' re sorry, Pheebs. |
[17:02.30] | Don' t you think it' s just that he' s so perceptive... |
[17:06.10] | ... it freaked you out? |
[17:07.91] | No, we hate him! |
[17:09.91] | I' m sorry. |
[17:24.39] | Ma! What are you doing here? I came to give you this and this! |
[17:30.19] | Big ring! |
[17:35.47] | ... about making things right? |
[17:38.14] | Things were fine this way! |
[17:40.44] | There' s chicken in there. Put it away. |
[17:43.61] | For God' s sake, Joey! Really. |
[17:48.88] | Hold on. You knew? Of course I knew. What do you think? |
[17:53.32] | Your father is no James Bond. |
[17:55.65] | You should' ve heard his stories. |
[17:58.00] | " I' m sleeping over at my accountant' s." " |
[18:00.69] | What is that? Please! So then, how could you? |
[18:05.00] | Do you remember how your father used to be? |
[18:07.87] | Always yelling. Nothing made him happy. |
[18:11.27] | Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle. |
[18:16.24] | Now he' s happy. I mean, it' s nice. He has a hobby. |
[18:23.15] | Ma, I don' t mean to be disrespectful... |
[18:26.82] | ... but what the hell are you talking about? |
[18:29.92] | I mean, what about you? Me? I' m fine. |
[18:33.86] | Look, honey, in an ideal world... |
[18:37.90] | ... there' d be no her and your father would look like Sting. |
[18:43.30] | And something else: |
[18:45.17] | Ever since that poodlestuffer came along... |
[18:48.84] | ... he' s so ashamed of himself that he' s been more attentive. |
[18:53.48] | He' s been more loving. It' s like every day is our anniversary. |
[18:58.32] | I' m happy for you? Well, don' t be! |
[19:03.02] | Now everything' s screwed up. |
[19:06.39] | I just want it the way it was. |
[19:10.86] | Ma, I' m sorry. |
[19:17.73] | I know you did, cookie. I know you did. |
[19:24.58] | So tell me. Did you see her? |
[19:30.18] | Yeah. |
[19:32.15] | You' re 10 times prettier than she is. That' s sweet. |
[19:38.46] | Could I take her? |
[19:41.09] | With this ring, no contest. |
[19:55.01] | Oh, no! Don' t ever do that! oh, |
[19:57.27] | What? I' m sorry. |
[19:58.68] | I have a thing, which means you can' t ever do that! |
[20:04.68] | What' s wrong, sweetie? Nothing. |
[20:08.39] | No, what' s wrong? Come on. Okay. |
[20:15.56] | It' s nothing. I' m fine. It' s just It' s my friends. |
[20:19.80] | They have a liking problem with you... |
[20:22.67] | ... in that they don' t. |
[20:29.17] | They don' t? They don' t? |
[20:31.34] | But they don' t see all the wonderfulness that I see. |
[20:35.88] | They don' t see all the good and sweet stuff. |
[20:39.65] | They think you' re a little What? |
[20:43.19] | Intense and creepy. |
[20:47.36] | Oh. But I don' t. Me, Phoebe. oh |
[20:53.40] | I' m not at all surprised about that. That' s why you' re so great. |
[20:58.67] | It' s quite typical behavior... |
[21:01.07] | ... when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. |
[21:05.41] | You know, this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted... |
[21:10.21] | ... sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups... |
[21:15.65] | ... which might as well have nipples on them. |
[21:20.26] | And you' re all like, " Oh, define me! Define me! |
[21:25.00] | Love me! I need love! |
[21:29.27] | You talked to your dad? |
[21:31.10] | He' s gonna keep cheating on Ma like she wanted. |
[21:34.40] | Ma will keep pretending she doesn' t know. |
[21:37.31] | And my sister, Tina, can' t see her husband. |
[21:40.21] | He got a restraining order. |
[21:43.15] | Which has nothing to do with it. I found out today. |
[21:47.88] | Things have changed here on Waltons' mountain. |
[21:52.69] | So, Joey, are you okay? Yeah, I guess. |
[21:55.89] | It' s just You know, they' re parents. |
[21:58.50] | After a certain point, you gotta let go. |
[22:01.80] | You gotta let them make their own mistakes. |
[22:06.27] | And think, in a few years, we' ll turn into them. |
[22:09.84] | Oh, please. |
[22:11.34] | If I turn into my parents, I' ll be an alcoholic blond chasing men... |
[22:15.88] | ... or I' ll end up like my mom! |
[22:23.62] | Hey. Hey, Pheebs. |
[22:25.76] | How' s it going? |
[22:27.66] | Okay, except I broke up with Roger. |
[22:32.63] | Yeah, right. No, no, really. |
[22:37.60] | What happened? I don' t know. I mean... |
[22:41.51] | ... he' s a good person, and he can be really sweet. |
[22:45.78] | In some ways, I think he is so right for me. |
[22:48.88] | It' s just.... I hate that guy! |
[22:59.09] | Hi, Joey. What' s going on? Hi, |
[23:01.89] | Clear the tracks for the boobie payback. |
[23:04.76] | Next stop, Rachel Greene. |
[23:12.87] | Joey, what the hell were you doing? |
[23:15.77] | Sorry, wrong boobies! |
[23:31.29] | Hello, Joey! |