| [00:08.-4] | This is so exciting! |
| [01:02.-2] | A thing through which you can tinkle A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [01:23.-3] | The One With the Butt |
| [02:33.-3] | Is it? It feels like 2. |
| [03:19.-1] | -You could do that. -You think? - |
| [03:54.-1] | Yes,you said that. |
| [05:09.-4] | "Loved your work. Call me a sap. " " |
| [06:09.-4] | Joey... Joey... |
| [07:17.-4] | Hey,kids! |
| [08:11.-2] | We talked until 2:00. It was perfect. |
| [10:02.-1] | -I couldn't. -Good for you. - |
| [10:07.-4] | ... I' m going out with more people than her. ... |
| [11:13.-1] | Nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask. |
| [17:57.-4] | Once again,rolling. Water working. |
| [19:57.-2] | ... but it's like l' m two guys. One guy's saying,"This is great! " ... |
| [20:02.-1] | But there's this other guy. |
| [21:33.-2] | No? What happened,big guy? |
| [24:18.-2] | Or play with or simply let hang |
| [00:05.45] | Oh,look! There's Joey's picture! |
| [00:09.49] | You can spot someone who's never seen his plays. |
| [00:12.72] | Notice,no fear. No sense of impending doom. |
| [00:17.00] | "The role of man number three will not be played by Vic Shapiro. " " |
| [00:22.30] | We came on the wrong night. |
| [00:26.07] | I can't believe I forgot a magazine. |
| [00:28.64] | -Come on,this might be good. -I don't know. - |
| [00:31.84] | The exclamation point scares me. It's not just Freud,it's Freud! |
| [00:37.85] | Magic is about to happen! |
| [00:40.79] | Well,Eva... |
| [00:43.09] | ...we've done some excellent work here. |
| [00:47.46] | And I would have to say... |
| [00:49.73] | ...your problem is quite clear. …… |
| [00:55.30] | All you want is a dinkle All you want is a dinkle |
| [00:58.90] | What you envy's a schwang What you envy's a schwang |
| [01:05.58] | To play with or simply let hang To play with or simply let hang |
| [02:22.85] | I feel violated. |
| [02:25.52] | Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off... |
| [02:29.06] | ...to have something else to do? |
| [02:31.73] | Ross,1 0:00. |
| [02:36.03] | -No,1 0:00! -What? |
| [02:39.80] | There's a beautiful woman at 8,9,1 0:00! |
| [02:45.84] | Hello! |
| [02:47.31] | She's amazing! She makes the women l dream about look like fat,bald men. |
| [02:53.12] | Go over. She's not with anyone. |
| [02:55.22] | And what would my opening line be? Excuse me.... |
| [03:01.26] | Come on,she's a person. You can do it. |
| [03:03.86] | Could she be more out of my league? Back me up. |
| [03:07.07] | He couldn't get a woman like that in a million years. |
| [03:12.04] | You always see these beautiful women with "nothing" guys. |
| [03:16.07] | You could be one of those guys. |
| [03:21.18] | Absolutely! |
| [03:22.68] | I can't believe I'm considering this. |
| [03:25.22] | -l' m very aware of my tongue. -Come on. - |
| [03:28.02] | Here goes. |
| [03:30.00] | Stand back,everyone. Incoming ego shrapnel. |
| [03:33.36] | All right,I can do this. |
| [03:39.50] | -Yes? -Hi. |
| [03:43.27] | Okay,next word would be... |
| [03:45.54] | ... Chandler. … |
| [03:47.74] | Chandler is my name and.... |
| [03:50.91] | Hi! Hi! |
| [03:55.65] | Yes! Yes,I did. But what I didn't say.... |
| [03:58.88] | What I wanted to say was... |
| [04:01.12] | ...would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night. …… |
| [04:05.06] | Chandler? |
| [04:09.83] | -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! - |
| [04:13.30] | What'd you think? |
| [04:15.57] | -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! - |
| [04:19.07] | It wasn't that bad. I was the lead. |
| [04:21.84] | It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head. |
| [04:26.31] | -You're right. -We saw your head. - |
| [04:29.01] | How about that accent? |
| [04:31.15] | Yeah. All of your W's were V's. |
| [04:37.46] | She said yes! |
| [04:40.29] | Awful play,man! |
| [04:44.36] | Her name's Aurora. She's ltalian and she pronounces my name " Chandler. " |
| [04:50.80] | I like that better. |
| [04:52.34] | The usher gave me this. |
| [04:54.37] | -What is it? -The Estelle Leonard T alent Agency. |
| [04:57.68] | An agency left its card. They wanna sign me! |
| [05:00.61] | Based on this play? |
| [05:04.28] | Based on this play! |
| [05:06.58] | Look! There's a note on the back. |
| [05:14.43] | She was obviously very moved! |
| [05:17.10] | You should call her fairly quickly. |
| [05:19.80] | Yeah! As soon as possible! |
| [05:25.54] | Come in! |
| [05:28.31] | Hi. I'm here to see Estelle Leonard. Hi. |
| [05:30.91] | Just a moment,let me see if she's in. |
| [05:35.35] | Hello. |
| [05:38.75] | -You' re Estelle? -I know... - |
| [05:40.82] | ...you weren't expecting someone so fantastically beautiful. …… |
| [05:47.59] | Love lump. T ake a load off already, darling. Sit already. |
| [05:53.00] | I can't tell you how excited I am to be here. |
| [05:56.43] | Why not? |
| [05:59.44] | -What I meant was -You don't mind if I eat,do you? - |
| [06:10.15] | ...sweetheart,let me ask you a question. …… |
| [06:13.55] | Did you ever see the movie Sleepless in Seattle? |
| [06:17.42] | -Wow! Do you represent those actors? -No. |
| [06:21.19] | But you know the end, where they' re happy? |
| [06:24.83] | That's gonna be you and me. |
| [06:28.40] | You mean you wanna sign me? |
| [06:30.50] | No,I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building and make out. |
| [06:36.71] | Of course I wanna sign you! |
| [06:39.54] | -Miss Leonard,I'm so -Oh,boy. |
| [06:42.18] | -Ride them,cowboy. -l' m sorry! |
| [06:55.13] | I don't see it! |
| [06:59.83] | -T ry to look through it. -Unfocus your eyes. - |
| [07:03.20] | Focus? There's nothing to focus on. |
| [07:06.44] | -It's the Statue of Liberty! -Right! - |
| [07:10.11] | -Where's the Statue of Liberty? -There. |
| [07:13.18] | I can't not see it now. |
| [07:18.18] | Come here. Do you see anything here? |
| [07:20.75] | -lt looks like a boat. -A boat. - |
| [07:24.36] | Right in front of the Statue of Liberty. |
| [07:29.09] | It's been seven seconds,and you haven't asked me how my date went. |
| [07:33.83] | How was your date,Chandler? |
| [07:36.30] | It was unbelievable! |
| [07:37.80] | I've never met anyone like her. She's had an amazing life! |
| [07:41.64] | She was in the Israeli army. |
| [07:43.67] | None of the bullets hit the engine, so we made it to the border. |
| [07:48.41] | But just barely,and l.... |
| [07:51.18] | I've been talking about myself all night long. I'm sorry. |
| [07:55.45] | What about you? T ell me a story. |
| [07:58.42] | All right,once... |
| [08:00.83] | ... I got on the subway. |
| [08:02.83] | And it was at night... |
| [08:04.83] | ...and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn. ... |
| [08:08.17] | Just for the hell of it. |
| [08:14.64] | More or less. |
| [08:15.94] | Suddenly,we realized we were in Yemen. |
| [08:18.74] | I' m sorry,so "we" is...? |
| [08:21.11] | "We" is me and Rick. |
| [08:22.65] | Who's Rick? |
| [08:23.85] | Who's Rick? |
| [08:26.35] | My husband. |
| [08:30.09] | -Oh,so you' re divorced? -No. - |
| [08:33.42] | I' m sorry. So you' re widowed? Hopefully? |
| [08:37.76] | No,l' m still married. |
| [08:40.90] | So,how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me... |
| [08:45.74] | ...sliding your foot so far up my leg you can count the change in my pocket? ... |
| [08:52.18] | Don't worry. |
| [08:53.78] | He'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan. |
| [08:58.35] | Ethan? There's an Ethan? |
| [09:01.89] | Ethan is my boyfriend. |
| [09:05.52] | What? 什么? |
| [09:08.76] | What kind of relationship do you imagine us having... |
| [09:12.33] | ...if you have a husband and a boyfriend? |
| [09:15.50] | I suppose,mainly sexual. |
| [09:21.57] | Sorry it didn't work out. |
| [09:23.44] | What,not work out? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. |
| [09:26.91] | Didn't you listen to the story? |
| [09:30.82] | Didn't you listen? It's twisted! |
| [09:33.45] | How could you get involved with her? |
| [09:35.89] | I had trouble with it at first. But I get the good stuff. |
| [09:40.00] | All the fun,all the talking, all the sex... |
| [09:43.16] | ...and none of the responsibility. |
| [09:46.43] | -This is every guy's fantasy! -That's not true! - |
| [09:49.80] | -Ross,is this your fantasy? -No,of course not. - |
| [09:55.27] | Yeah. Yeah,it is. |
| [09:57.94] | You'd go out with someone going out with someone else? |
| [10:04.25] | When l' m with a woman, I need to know... |
| [10:10.39] | Once,I went out with a guy who just got divorced. |
| [10:14.03] | It was hard. His kids liked me better than him. |
| [10:17.60] | What does this have to do with Chandler? |
| [10:21.13] | Nothing. |
| [10:23.27] | I didn't have anything on that topic. |
| [10:26.14] | So I went another way. |
| [10:29.24] | You know,monogamy can be a tricky concept. |
| [10:33.38] | I mean,anthropologically speaking |
| [10:37.68] | Fine. Now you'll never know. |
| [10:40.02] | We' re kidding. T ell us. |
| [10:41.89] | -We wanna know. -Come on! - |
| [10:43.65] | All right. There's a theory put forth by Richard Leakey |
| [10:58.60] | Are we greeting each other this way now? I like it. |
| [11:03.44] | Look! I cleaned! |
| [11:05.31] | I did the windows. I did the floors. |
| [11:07.81] | I used all the vacuum attachments but the round one. What's it for? |
| [11:16.39] | What do you think? |
| [11:17.76] | -It's very clean. -Really,it looks great! - |
| [11:25.06] | I see you moved the green ottoman. |
| [11:31.47] | How did that happen? |
| [11:34.44] | I don't know. It looked better there. |
| [11:37.81] | And it's an extra seat around the table. |
| [11:41.11] | Yeah,it's interesting. |
| [11:44.55] | But you know what? Just for fun... |
| [11:47.15] | ...Iet's see what it looked like in the old spot. ... |
| [11:51.46] | Just to compare. |
| [11:53.32] | Let's see. |
| [11:55.06] | Well,it looks good there too. |
| [11:57.36] | Let's leave it there for a while. |
| [12:00.50] | I can't believe you moved the green ottoman. |
| [12:04.47] | Be glad you didn't fan the magazines. She'll scratch your eyes out. |
| [12:09.11] | -You guys,I am not that bad! -Yeah,you are. - |
| [12:13.74] | Remember,I lived with you? You were a little.... |
| [12:21.42] | That is so unfair! |
| [12:22.92] | When we were kids,yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy. |
| [12:29.43] | Okay,so I'm responsible. I'm organized. |
| [12:32.30] | But hey,I can be a kook! |
| [12:36.53] | All right,you madcap gal! |
| [12:40.37] | Imagine this. |
| [12:41.74] | The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. |
| [12:45.88] | -Why not? -Because you're a kook! - |
| [12:50.51] | You wait until they send a notice. |
| [12:54.05] | I could do that. |
| [12:55.62] | Okay,then you let me go grocery shopping |
| [12:59.86] | -No problem. -I'm not done yet. - |
| [13:03.66] | And I buy detergent,but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. |
| [13:08.77] | Why would someone do that? |
| [13:12.54] | One might wonder. |
| [13:15.81] | But I would be fine with that. |
| [13:19.28] | A glass is on the table with no coaster. A cold drink. A hot day. |
| [13:24.65] | Beads of condensation are inching closer to the wood.... |
| [13:29.19] | Stop it! |
| [13:34.02] | Oh,my God! |
| [13:35.73] | It's true. Who am l? |
| [13:38.20] | Monica,you' re Mom. |
| [13:48.57] | Oh,my God! |
| [13:52.31] | Okay,I'll be there. |
| [13:56.38] | That was my agent. |
| [13:59.92] | My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie! |
| [14:06.09] | -That's great! -What's the part? |
| [14:09.06] | Can you believe it? Pacino! This guy's why I became an actor! |
| [14:13.40] | " Out of order? You' re out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order! " " |
| [14:19.77] | Seriously,what's the part? |
| [14:21.74] | "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! " |
| [14:25.71] | Come on. Seriously,Joey, what's the part? |
| [14:30.71] | You' re.... What? |
| [14:34.89] | I' m his butt double,okay? |
| [14:41.69] | I play Al Pacino's butt. |
| [14:46.50] | All right? He goes into the shower, and then... |
| [14:50.03] | ... I' m his butt. ... |
| [14:52.40] | Oh,my God! |
| [14:53.87] | Come on,you guys. |
| [14:55.31] | It's a real Pacino movie and that's big! |
| [14:58.84] | It's terrific. You deserve this. |
| [15:01.65] | After years of struggling you've cracked your way into show business. |
| [15:09.25] | Fine. Make jokes,I don't care. |
| [15:11.79] | -This is a big break for me! -You' re right. It is. - |
| [15:16.43] | So,will you invite us to the big opening? |
| [15:29.27] | -I need some moisturizer. -For what? - |
| [15:32.41] | T oday's the big day! |
| [15:37.11] | You got any tweezers? I think I have a rogue hair. |
| [15:41.00] | God. Go in the bathroom. Use whatever you want. |
| [15:44.12] | Don't ever tell me what you did in there. |
| [15:47.16] | Thank you. |
| [15:50.63] | -Joey's mom's on the phone. -ln the bathroom. - |
| [15:53.63] | -You don't wanna go in there! -Come on,we' re roommates. - |
| [15:58.50] | My eyes! My eyes! |
| [16:03.57] | I warned you. |
| [16:05.41] | Who is being loud? |
| [16:07.31] | Oh,that would be Monica. |
| [16:09.85] | Can I borrow stuff? I wanna make Aurora breakfast. |
| [16:13.18] | You got the whole night? |
| [16:15.19] | Well,I only have 20 minutes until Ethan,so.... |
| [16:18.39] | Do I sense resentment? |
| [16:20.56] | No. No resentment. Believe me... |
| [16:23.89] | ...it's worth it,okay? …… |
| [16:26.23] | In a relationship,you have moments you'll remember the rest of your life. |
| [16:31.27] | Every single second is like that with Aurora. |
| [16:34.71] | I've just wasted 35 of them talking to you. |
| [16:37.57] | So,Monica,can you help me with the door? |
| [16:42.01] | The old Monica would remind you... |
| [16:44.82] | ...to scrub that T eflon pan with a plastic brush. …… |
| [16:49.82] | But l' m not gonna do that. |
| [16:58.43] | Excuse me? Can they warm it up? I' m concerned about goose bumps. |
| [17:03.50] | Everybody ready? |
| [17:06.14] | I wanna thank you for this opportunity. |
| [17:09.27] | I mean,I know this is just a first step,but I hope that someday |
| [17:14.71] | Lose the robe. |
| [17:16.15] | Right. Okay. Losing the robe! |
| [17:20.55] | Okay,and the robe is lost. |
| [17:23.29] | I would like to get this in one take. |
| [17:26.29] | Let's roll it. |
| [17:27.83] | Water's working. |
| [17:30.09] | And action! |
| [17:33.90] | And cut! |
| [17:36.13] | Butt guy,what are you doing? |
| [17:39.07] | I'm showering. |
| [17:40.80] | No,that was clenching. |
| [17:43.14] | The way I see it, the guy's upset here,you know? |
| [17:47.04] | His wife's dead, his brother's missing. |
| [17:49.65] | I think his butt would be angry here. |
| [17:53.08] | I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch. |
| [18:00.82] | And action! |
| [18:04.09] | And cut! What was that? |
| [18:07.83] | I was going for quiet desperation. |
| [18:11.74] | But if you have to ask.... |
| [18:21.11] | God,I love these fingers. |
| [18:23.21] | Thank you. |
| [18:24.62] | No,actually,I meant my fingers. |
| [18:28.29] | Look at them. Look at how happy they are. |
| [18:32.66] | -Oh,my God,l' m late! -Oh,no! |
| [18:35.93] | -Don't go. -Okay. - |
| [18:39.80] | -I have to. -Look,she's leaving. - |
| [18:42.57] | I' m sorry. He'll be waiting for me. |
| [18:45.27] | -I thought you talked to Rick. -It's not Rick. - |
| [18:49.24] | Ethan? He gets the whole day! |
| [18:51.81] | No,it's Andrew. |
| [18:58.85] | I know there'll be moments.. |
| [19:00.92] | ...when I'll regret asking the following question,but.... …… |
| [19:05.26] | -And Andrew is? -He's... |
| [19:08.06] | ... new. …… |
| [19:10.26] | So you' re not completely fulfilled by Rick,Ethan and myself? |
| [19:14.93] | No,that's not exactly what I was |
| [19:17.60] | Most women would kill... |
| [19:19.54] | ...for three guys like us. …… |
| [19:23.04] | -So,what do you want? -You. |
| [19:26.44] | -You have me. -No. Just you. - |
| [19:29.65] | -What do you mean? -Lose the other guys. - |
| [19:33.65] | Like,all of them? |
| [19:37.25] | Come on,we' re great together. Why not? |
| [19:40.39] | Can't we have what we have now? |
| [19:42.66] | Why can't we talk and make love... |
| [19:45.30] | ...without feeling obligated to each other? …… |
| [19:48.47] | Up until tonight,I thought that's what you wanted too. |
| [19:53.07] | Well,part of me wants that... |
| [20:04.05] | The guy who wells up when the Grinch's heart grows... |
| [20:07.65] | ...and breaks that measuring device. …… |
| [20:10.45] | He's saying,you know, "This is too hard. Get out! " |
| [20:15.56] | So,which one of the guys will you listen to? |
| [20:19.46] | I have to listen to both. They don't let each other finish. |
| [20:24.94] | Which one? |
| [20:29.84] | The second guy. |
| [20:32.54] | I see. |
| [20:38.45] | Call me if you change your mind. |
| [20:49.36] | Sorry,the first guy runs the lips. |
| [21:05.68] | Look at it this way. You dumped her! |
| [21:09.75] | Right? I mean,this woman was unbelievably sexy... |
| [21:14.28] | ...and beautiful,intelligent, unattainable. …… |
| [21:19.56] | T ell me why you did this again? |
| [21:24.26] | Movie star! |
| [21:25.90] | Wait! Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new Pacino movie? |
| [21:31.60] | Nope. |
| [21:35.87] | Big guy? |
| [21:39.18] | It felt like a "big guy" moment. |
| [21:42.68] | I got fired! |
| [21:44.88] | They said I acted too much with it. |
| [21:49.35] | I told everybody about this! |
| [21:51.69] | -Everybody's expecting to see me. -lKnow what? - |
| [21:54.69] | -No one will be able to tell. -My mom will. - |
| [22:00.33] | There's something so sweet and disturbing about that. |
| [22:05.67] | I've done crappy plays for six years... |
| [22:08.84] | ...and I finally get my shot, and I blow it! |
| [22:12.48] | Maybe this wasn't it. |
| [22:14.44] | I think when it's your shot, you know it's your shot. |
| [22:19.52] | Did it feel like your shot? |
| [22:23.35] | Hard to tell. I was naked. |
| [22:26.29] | I don't think this was it. I don't think you just get one. |
| [22:30.56] | I believe things are gonna happen for you. I do. |
| [22:34.16] | You've got to think about the day some kid will go: |
| [22:38.27] | "l got the part! I'm gonna be Joey T ribbiani's ass! " |
| [22:45.28] | You think? That's so nice. |
| [22:53.92] | I' m sorry,Joey. I' m gonna go to bed,guys. |
| [22:57.09] | -Good night. -Good night. |
| [22:59.56] | You' re gonna leave your shoes out here? |
| [23:05.90] | Really? Just casually strewn about... |
| [23:09.00] | ...in that reckless,haphazard manner? ... |
| [23:13.20] | It doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow. Or not! |
| [23:18.68] | Whenever. |
| [23:22.85] | She is a kook. |
| [23:37.89] | If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. |
| [23:43.47] | No,don 't do this! |
| [23:46.27] | This is stupid! |
| [23:47.94] | I don 't have to prove anything. I'm gonna get them. |
| [23:51.88] | But then everyone will know. |
| [23:55.18] | Unless I get them,then wake up really early and put them back. |
| [23:59.82] | I need help! |
| [24:05.56] | -All you want is a dinkle -Not that song! |
| [24:09.83] | -All you envy's a schwang -Come on,you guys. |
| [24:14.03] | A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:22.01] | All you want is a dinkle |
| [24:26.01] | What you envy's a schwang |
| [24:29.55] | A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:33.28] | Or play with or simply let hang |
| [00:08.-4] | This is so exciting! |
| [01:02.-2] | A thing through which you can tinkle A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [01:23.-3] | The One With the Butt |
| [02:33.-3] | Is it? It feels like 2. |
| [03:19.-1] | You could do that. You think? |
| [03:54.-1] | Yes, you said that. |
| [05:09.-4] | " Loved your work. Call me a sap. " " |
| [06:09.-4] | Joey... Joey... |
| [07:17.-4] | Hey, kids! |
| [08:11.-2] | We talked until 2: 00. It was perfect. |
| [10:02.-1] | I couldn' t. Good for you. |
| [10:07.-4] | ... I' m going out with more people than her. ... |
| [11:13.-1] | Nobody knows. And we' re not supposed to ask. |
| [17:57.-4] | Once again, rolling. Water working. |
| [19:57.-2] | ... but it' s like l' m two guys. One guy' s saying," This is great! " ... |
| [20:02.-1] | But there' s this other guy. |
| [21:33.-2] | No? What happened, big guy? |
| [24:18.-2] | Or play with or simply let hang |
| [00:05.45] | Oh, look! There' s Joey' s picture! |
| [00:09.49] | You can spot someone who' s never seen his plays. |
| [00:12.72] | Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom. |
| [00:17.00] | " The role of man number three will not be played by Vic Shapiro. " " |
| [00:22.30] | We came on the wrong night. |
| [00:26.07] | I can' t believe I forgot a magazine. |
| [00:28.64] | Come on, this might be good. I don' t know. |
| [00:31.84] | The exclamation point scares me. It' s not just Freud, it' s Freud! |
| [00:37.85] | Magic is about to happen! |
| [00:40.79] | Well, Eva... |
| [00:43.09] | ... we' ve done some excellent work here. |
| [00:47.46] | And I would have to say... |
| [00:49.73] | ... your problem is quite clear. |
| [00:55.30] | All you want is a dinkle All you want is a dinkle |
| [00:58.90] | What you envy' s a schwang What you envy' s a schwang |
| [01:05.58] | To play with or simply let hang To play with or simply let hang |
| [02:22.85] | I feel violated. |
| [02:25.52] | Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off... |
| [02:29.06] | ... to have something else to do? |
| [02:31.73] | Ross, 1 0: 00. |
| [02:36.03] | No, 1 0: 00! What? |
| [02:39.80] | There' s a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 1 0: 00! |
| [02:45.84] | Hello! |
| [02:47.31] | She' s amazing! She makes the women l dream about look like fat, bald men. |
| [02:53.12] | Go over. She' s not with anyone. |
| [02:55.22] | And what would my opening line be? Excuse me.... |
| [03:01.26] | Come on, she' s a person. You can do it. |
| [03:03.86] | Could she be more out of my league? Back me up. |
| [03:07.07] | He couldn' t get a woman like that in a million years. |
| [03:12.04] | You always see these beautiful women with " nothing" guys. |
| [03:16.07] | You could be one of those guys. |
| [03:21.18] | Absolutely! |
| [03:22.68] | I can' t believe I' m considering this. |
| [03:25.22] | l' m very aware of my tongue. Come on. |
| [03:28.02] | Here goes. |
| [03:30.00] | Stand back, everyone. Incoming ego shrapnel. |
| [03:33.36] | All right, I can do this. |
| [03:39.50] | Yes? Hi. |
| [03:43.27] | Okay, next word would be... |
| [03:45.54] | ... Chandler. |
| [03:47.74] | Chandler is my name and.... |
| [03:50.91] | Hi! Hi! |
| [03:55.65] | Yes! Yes, I did. But what I didn' t say.... |
| [03:58.88] | What I wanted to say was... |
| [04:01.12] | ... would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night. |
| [04:05.06] | Chandler? |
| [04:09.83] | I didn' t know you could dance! You were in a play! |
| [04:13.30] | What' d you think? |
| [04:15.57] | I didn' t know you could dance! You were in a play! |
| [04:19.07] | It wasn' t that bad. I was the lead. |
| [04:21.84] | It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head. |
| [04:26.31] | You' re right. We saw your head. |
| [04:29.01] | How about that accent? |
| [04:31.15] | Yeah. All of your W' s were V' s. |
| [04:37.46] | She said yes! |
| [04:40.29] | Awful play, man! |
| [04:44.36] | Her name' s Aurora. She' s ltalian and she pronounces my name " Chandler. " |
| [04:50.80] | I like that better. |
| [04:52.34] | The usher gave me this. |
| [04:54.37] | What is it? The Estelle Leonard T alent Agency. |
| [04:57.68] | An agency left its card. They wanna sign me! |
| [05:00.61] | Based on this play? |
| [05:04.28] | Based on this play! |
| [05:06.58] | Look! There' s a note on the back. |
| [05:14.43] | She was obviously very moved! |
| [05:17.10] | You should call her fairly quickly. |
| [05:19.80] | Yeah! As soon as possible! |
| [05:25.54] | Come in! |
| [05:28.31] | Hi. I' m here to see Estelle Leonard. Hi. |
| [05:30.91] | Just a moment, let me see if she' s in. |
| [05:35.35] | Hello. |
| [05:38.75] | You' re Estelle? I know... |
| [05:40.82] | ... you weren' t expecting someone so fantastically beautiful. |
| [05:47.59] | Love lump. T ake a load off already, darling. Sit already. |
| [05:53.00] | I can' t tell you how excited I am to be here. |
| [05:56.43] | Why not? |
| [05:59.44] | What I meant was You don' t mind if I eat, do you? |
| [06:10.15] | ... sweetheart, let me ask you a question. |
| [06:13.55] | Did you ever see the movie Sleepless in Seattle? |
| [06:17.42] | Wow! Do you represent those actors? No. |
| [06:21.19] | But you know the end, where they' re happy? |
| [06:24.83] | That' s gonna be you and me. |
| [06:28.40] | You mean you wanna sign me? |
| [06:30.50] | No, I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building and make out. |
| [06:36.71] | Of course I wanna sign you! |
| [06:39.54] | Miss Leonard, I' m so Oh, boy. |
| [06:42.18] | Ride them, cowboy. l' m sorry! |
| [06:55.13] | I don' t see it! |
| [06:59.83] | T ry to look through it. Unfocus your eyes. |
| [07:03.20] | Focus? There' s nothing to focus on. |
| [07:06.44] | It' s the Statue of Liberty! Right! |
| [07:10.11] | Where' s the Statue of Liberty? There. |
| [07:13.18] | I can' t not see it now. |
| [07:18.18] | Come here. Do you see anything here? |
| [07:20.75] | lt looks like a boat. A boat. |
| [07:24.36] | Right in front of the Statue of Liberty. |
| [07:29.09] | It' s been seven seconds, and you haven' t asked me how my date went. |
| [07:33.83] | How was your date, Chandler? |
| [07:36.30] | It was unbelievable! |
| [07:37.80] | I' ve never met anyone like her. She' s had an amazing life! |
| [07:41.64] | She was in the Israeli army. |
| [07:43.67] | None of the bullets hit the engine, so we made it to the border. |
| [07:48.41] | But just barely, and l.... |
| [07:51.18] | I' ve been talking about myself all night long. I' m sorry. |
| [07:55.45] | What about you? T ell me a story. |
| [07:58.42] | All right, once... |
| [08:00.83] | ... I got on the subway. |
| [08:02.83] | And it was at night... |
| [08:04.83] | ... and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn. ... |
| [08:08.17] | Just for the hell of it. |
| [08:14.64] | More or less. |
| [08:15.94] | Suddenly, we realized we were in Yemen. |
| [08:18.74] | I' m sorry, so " we" is...? |
| [08:21.11] | " We" is me and Rick. |
| [08:22.65] | Who' s Rick? |
| [08:23.85] | Who' s Rick? |
| [08:26.35] | My husband. |
| [08:30.09] | Oh, so you' re divorced? No. |
| [08:33.42] | I' m sorry. So you' re widowed? Hopefully? |
| [08:37.76] | No, l' m still married. |
| [08:40.90] | So, how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me... |
| [08:45.74] | ... sliding your foot so far up my leg you can count the change in my pocket? ... |
| [08:52.18] | Don' t worry. |
| [08:53.78] | He' d be okay with you because he' s okay with Ethan. |
| [08:58.35] | Ethan? There' s an Ethan? |
| [09:01.89] | Ethan is my boyfriend. |
| [09:05.52] | What? shen me? |
| [09:08.76] | What kind of relationship do you imagine us having... |
| [09:12.33] | ... if you have a husband and a boyfriend? |
| [09:15.50] | I suppose, mainly sexual. |
| [09:21.57] | Sorry it didn' t work out. |
| [09:23.44] | What, not work out? I' m seeing her again on Thursday. |
| [09:26.91] | Didn' t you listen to the story? |
| [09:30.82] | Didn' t you listen? It' s twisted! |
| [09:33.45] | How could you get involved with her? |
| [09:35.89] | I had trouble with it at first. But I get the good stuff. |
| [09:40.00] | All the fun, all the talking, all the sex... |
| [09:43.16] | ... and none of the responsibility. |
| [09:46.43] | This is every guy' s fantasy! That' s not true! |
| [09:49.80] | Ross, is this your fantasy? No, of course not. |
| [09:55.27] | Yeah. Yeah, it is. |
| [09:57.94] | You' d go out with someone going out with someone else? |
| [10:04.25] | When l' m with a woman, I need to know... |
| [10:10.39] | Once, I went out with a guy who just got divorced. |
| [10:14.03] | It was hard. His kids liked me better than him. |
| [10:17.60] | What does this have to do with Chandler? |
| [10:21.13] | Nothing. |
| [10:23.27] | I didn' t have anything on that topic. |
| [10:26.14] | So I went another way. |
| [10:29.24] | You know, monogamy can be a tricky concept. |
| [10:33.38] | I mean, anthropologically speaking |
| [10:37.68] | Fine. Now you' ll never know. |
| [10:40.02] | We' re kidding. T ell us. |
| [10:41.89] | We wanna know. Come on! |
| [10:43.65] | All right. There' s a theory put forth by Richard Leakey |
| [10:58.60] | Are we greeting each other this way now? I like it. |
| [11:03.44] | Look! I cleaned! |
| [11:05.31] | I did the windows. I did the floors. |
| [11:07.81] | I used all the vacuum attachments but the round one. What' s it for? |
| [11:16.39] | What do you think? |
| [11:17.76] | It' s very clean. Really, it looks great! |
| [11:25.06] | I see you moved the green ottoman. |
| [11:31.47] | How did that happen? |
| [11:34.44] | I don' t know. It looked better there. |
| [11:37.81] | And it' s an extra seat around the table. |
| [11:41.11] | Yeah, it' s interesting. |
| [11:44.55] | But you know what? Just for fun... |
| [11:47.15] | ... Iet' s see what it looked like in the old spot. ... |
| [11:51.46] | Just to compare. |
| [11:53.32] | Let' s see. |
| [11:55.06] | Well, it looks good there too. |
| [11:57.36] | Let' s leave it there for a while. |
| [12:00.50] | I can' t believe you moved the green ottoman. |
| [12:04.47] | Be glad you didn' t fan the magazines. She' ll scratch your eyes out. |
| [12:09.11] | You guys, I am not that bad! Yeah, you are. |
| [12:13.74] | Remember, I lived with you? You were a little.... |
| [12:21.42] | That is so unfair! |
| [12:22.92] | When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn' t raggedy. |
| [12:29.43] | Okay, so I' m responsible. I' m organized. |
| [12:32.30] | But hey, I can be a kook! |
| [12:36.53] | All right, you madcap gal! |
| [12:40.37] | Imagine this. |
| [12:41.74] | The phone bill arrives, but you don' t pay it right away. |
| [12:45.88] | Why not? Because you' re a kook! |
| [12:50.51] | You wait until they send a notice. |
| [12:54.05] | I could do that. |
| [12:55.62] | Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping |
| [12:59.86] | No problem. I' m not done yet. |
| [13:03.66] | And I buy detergent, but it' s not the one with the easypour spout. |
| [13:08.77] | Why would someone do that? |
| [13:12.54] | One might wonder. |
| [13:15.81] | But I would be fine with that. |
| [13:19.28] | A glass is on the table with no coaster. A cold drink. A hot day. |
| [13:24.65] | Beads of condensation are inching closer to the wood.... |
| [13:29.19] | Stop it! |
| [13:34.02] | Oh, my God! |
| [13:35.73] | It' s true. Who am l? |
| [13:38.20] | Monica, you' re Mom. |
| [13:48.57] | Oh, my God! |
| [13:52.31] | Okay, I' ll be there. |
| [13:56.38] | That was my agent. |
| [13:59.92] | My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie! |
| [14:06.09] | That' s great! What' s the part? |
| [14:09.06] | Can you believe it? Pacino! This guy' s why I became an actor! |
| [14:13.40] | " Out of order? You' re out of order! This whole courtroom' s out of order! " " |
| [14:19.77] | Seriously, what' s the part? |
| [14:21.74] | " Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! " |
| [14:25.71] | Come on. Seriously, Joey, what' s the part? |
| [14:30.71] | You' re.... What? |
| [14:34.89] | I' m his butt double, okay? |
| [14:41.69] | I play Al Pacino' s butt. |
| [14:46.50] | All right? He goes into the shower, and then... |
| [14:50.03] | ... I' m his butt. ... |
| [14:52.40] | Oh, my God! |
| [14:53.87] | Come on, you guys. |
| [14:55.31] | It' s a real Pacino movie and that' s big! |
| [14:58.84] | It' s terrific. You deserve this. |
| [15:01.65] | After years of struggling you' ve cracked your way into show business. |
| [15:09.25] | Fine. Make jokes, I don' t care. |
| [15:11.79] | This is a big break for me! You' re right. It is. |
| [15:16.43] | So, will you invite us to the big opening? |
| [15:29.27] | I need some moisturizer. For what? |
| [15:32.41] | T oday' s the big day! |
| [15:37.11] | You got any tweezers? I think I have a rogue hair. |
| [15:41.00] | God. Go in the bathroom. Use whatever you want. |
| [15:44.12] | Don' t ever tell me what you did in there. |
| [15:47.16] | Thank you. |
| [15:50.63] | Joey' s mom' s on the phone. ln the bathroom. |
| [15:53.63] | You don' t wanna go in there! Come on, we' re roommates. |
| [15:58.50] | My eyes! My eyes! |
| [16:03.57] | I warned you. |
| [16:05.41] | Who is being loud? |
| [16:07.31] | Oh, that would be Monica. |
| [16:09.85] | Can I borrow stuff? I wanna make Aurora breakfast. |
| [16:13.18] | You got the whole night? |
| [16:15.19] | Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so.... |
| [16:18.39] | Do I sense resentment? |
| [16:20.56] | No. No resentment. Believe me... |
| [16:23.89] | ... it' s worth it, okay? |
| [16:26.23] | In a relationship, you have moments you' ll remember the rest of your life. |
| [16:31.27] | Every single second is like that with Aurora. |
| [16:34.71] | I' ve just wasted 35 of them talking to you. |
| [16:37.57] | So, Monica, can you help me with the door? |
| [16:42.01] | The old Monica would remind you... |
| [16:44.82] | ... to scrub that T eflon pan with a plastic brush. |
| [16:49.82] | But l' m not gonna do that. |
| [16:58.43] | Excuse me? Can they warm it up? I' m concerned about goose bumps. |
| [17:03.50] | Everybody ready? |
| [17:06.14] | I wanna thank you for this opportunity. |
| [17:09.27] | I mean, I know this is just a first step, but I hope that someday |
| [17:14.71] | Lose the robe. |
| [17:16.15] | Right. Okay. Losing the robe! |
| [17:20.55] | Okay, and the robe is lost. |
| [17:23.29] | I would like to get this in one take. |
| [17:26.29] | Let' s roll it. |
| [17:27.83] | Water' s working. |
| [17:30.09] | And action! |
| [17:33.90] | And cut! |
| [17:36.13] | Butt guy, what are you doing? |
| [17:39.07] | I' m showering. |
| [17:40.80] | No, that was clenching. |
| [17:43.14] | The way I see it, the guy' s upset here, you know? |
| [17:47.04] | His wife' s dead, his brother' s missing. |
| [17:49.65] | I think his butt would be angry here. |
| [17:53.08] | I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch. |
| [18:00.82] | And action! |
| [18:04.09] | And cut! What was that? |
| [18:07.83] | I was going for quiet desperation. |
| [18:11.74] | But if you have to ask.... |
| [18:21.11] | God, I love these fingers. |
| [18:23.21] | Thank you. |
| [18:24.62] | No, actually, I meant my fingers. |
| [18:28.29] | Look at them. Look at how happy they are. |
| [18:32.66] | Oh, my God, l' m late! Oh, no! |
| [18:35.93] | Don' t go. Okay. |
| [18:39.80] | I have to. Look, she' s leaving. |
| [18:42.57] | I' m sorry. He' ll be waiting for me. |
| [18:45.27] | I thought you talked to Rick. It' s not Rick. |
| [18:49.24] | Ethan? He gets the whole day! |
| [18:51.81] | No, it' s Andrew. |
| [18:58.85] | I know there' ll be moments.. |
| [19:00.92] | ... when I' ll regret asking the following question, but.... |
| [19:05.26] | And Andrew is? He' s... |
| [19:08.06] | ... new. |
| [19:10.26] | So you' re not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? |
| [19:14.93] | No, that' s not exactly what I was |
| [19:17.60] | Most women would kill... |
| [19:19.54] | ... for three guys like us. |
| [19:23.04] | So, what do you want? You. |
| [19:26.44] | You have me. No. Just you. |
| [19:29.65] | What do you mean? Lose the other guys. |
| [19:33.65] | Like, all of them? |
| [19:37.25] | Come on, we' re great together. Why not? |
| [19:40.39] | Can' t we have what we have now? |
| [19:42.66] | Why can' t we talk and make love... |
| [19:45.30] | ... without feeling obligated to each other? |
| [19:48.47] | Up until tonight, I thought that' s what you wanted too. |
| [19:53.07] | Well, part of me wants that... |
| [20:04.05] | The guy who wells up when the Grinch' s heart grows... |
| [20:07.65] | ... and breaks that measuring device. |
| [20:10.45] | He' s saying, you know, " This is too hard. Get out! " |
| [20:15.56] | So, which one of the guys will you listen to? |
| [20:19.46] | I have to listen to both. They don' t let each other finish. |
| [20:24.94] | Which one? |
| [20:29.84] | The second guy. |
| [20:32.54] | I see. |
| [20:38.45] | Call me if you change your mind. |
| [20:49.36] | Sorry, the first guy runs the lips. |
| [21:05.68] | Look at it this way. You dumped her! |
| [21:09.75] | Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy... |
| [21:14.28] | ... and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable. |
| [21:19.56] | T ell me why you did this again? |
| [21:24.26] | Movie star! |
| [21:25.90] | Wait! Aren' t you the guy who plays the butt in the new Pacino movie? |
| [21:31.60] | Nope. |
| [21:35.87] | Big guy? |
| [21:39.18] | It felt like a " big guy" moment. |
| [21:42.68] | I got fired! |
| [21:44.88] | They said I acted too much with it. |
| [21:49.35] | I told everybody about this! |
| [21:51.69] | Everybody' s expecting to see me. lKnow what? |
| [21:54.69] | No one will be able to tell. My mom will. |
| [22:00.33] | There' s something so sweet and disturbing about that. |
| [22:05.67] | I' ve done crappy plays for six years... |
| [22:08.84] | ... and I finally get my shot, and I blow it! |
| [22:12.48] | Maybe this wasn' t it. |
| [22:14.44] | I think when it' s your shot, you know it' s your shot. |
| [22:19.52] | Did it feel like your shot? |
| [22:23.35] | Hard to tell. I was naked. |
| [22:26.29] | I don' t think this was it. I don' t think you just get one. |
| [22:30.56] | I believe things are gonna happen for you. I do. |
| [22:34.16] | You' ve got to think about the day some kid will go: |
| [22:38.27] | " l got the part! I' m gonna be Joey T ribbiani' s ass! " |
| [22:45.28] | You think? That' s so nice. |
| [22:53.92] | I' m sorry, Joey. I' m gonna go to bed, guys. |
| [22:57.09] | Good night. Good night. |
| [22:59.56] | You' re gonna leave your shoes out here? |
| [23:05.90] | Really? Just casually strewn about... |
| [23:09.00] | ... in that reckless, haphazard manner? ... |
| [23:13.20] | It doesn' t matter. I' ll get them tomorrow. Or not! |
| [23:18.68] | Whenever. |
| [23:22.85] | She is a kook. |
| [23:37.89] | If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. |
| [23:43.47] | No, don ' t do this! |
| [23:46.27] | This is stupid! |
| [23:47.94] | I don ' t have to prove anything. I' m gonna get them. |
| [23:51.88] | But then everyone will know. |
| [23:55.18] | Unless I get them, then wake up really early and put them back. |
| [23:59.82] | I need help! |
| [24:05.56] | All you want is a dinkle Not that song! |
| [24:09.83] | All you envy' s a schwang Come on, you guys. |
| [24:14.03] | A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:22.01] | All you want is a dinkle |
| [24:26.01] | What you envy' s a schwang |
| [24:29.55] | A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:33.28] | Or play with or simply let hang |
| [00:08.-4] | This is so exciting! |
| [01:02.-2] | A thing through which you can tinkle A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [01:23.-3] | The One With the Butt |
| [02:33.-3] | Is it? It feels like 2. |
| [03:19.-1] | You could do that. You think? |
| [03:54.-1] | Yes, you said that. |
| [05:09.-4] | " Loved your work. Call me a sap. " " |
| [06:09.-4] | Joey... Joey... |
| [07:17.-4] | Hey, kids! |
| [08:11.-2] | We talked until 2: 00. It was perfect. |
| [10:02.-1] | I couldn' t. Good for you. |
| [10:07.-4] | ... I' m going out with more people than her. ... |
| [11:13.-1] | Nobody knows. And we' re not supposed to ask. |
| [17:57.-4] | Once again, rolling. Water working. |
| [19:57.-2] | ... but it' s like l' m two guys. One guy' s saying," This is great! " ... |
| [20:02.-1] | But there' s this other guy. |
| [21:33.-2] | No? What happened, big guy? |
| [24:18.-2] | Or play with or simply let hang |
| [00:05.45] | Oh, look! There' s Joey' s picture! |
| [00:09.49] | You can spot someone who' s never seen his plays. |
| [00:12.72] | Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom. |
| [00:17.00] | " The role of man number three will not be played by Vic Shapiro. " " |
| [00:22.30] | We came on the wrong night. |
| [00:26.07] | I can' t believe I forgot a magazine. |
| [00:28.64] | Come on, this might be good. I don' t know. |
| [00:31.84] | The exclamation point scares me. It' s not just Freud, it' s Freud! |
| [00:37.85] | Magic is about to happen! |
| [00:40.79] | Well, Eva... |
| [00:43.09] | ... we' ve done some excellent work here. |
| [00:47.46] | And I would have to say... |
| [00:49.73] | ... your problem is quite clear. |
| [00:55.30] | All you want is a dinkle All you want is a dinkle |
| [00:58.90] | What you envy' s a schwang What you envy' s a schwang |
| [01:05.58] | To play with or simply let hang To play with or simply let hang |
| [02:22.85] | I feel violated. |
| [02:25.52] | Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off... |
| [02:29.06] | ... to have something else to do? |
| [02:31.73] | Ross, 1 0: 00. |
| [02:36.03] | No, 1 0: 00! What? |
| [02:39.80] | There' s a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 1 0: 00! |
| [02:45.84] | Hello! |
| [02:47.31] | She' s amazing! She makes the women l dream about look like fat, bald men. |
| [02:53.12] | Go over. She' s not with anyone. |
| [02:55.22] | And what would my opening line be? Excuse me.... |
| [03:01.26] | Come on, she' s a person. You can do it. |
| [03:03.86] | Could she be more out of my league? Back me up. |
| [03:07.07] | He couldn' t get a woman like that in a million years. |
| [03:12.04] | You always see these beautiful women with " nothing" guys. |
| [03:16.07] | You could be one of those guys. |
| [03:21.18] | Absolutely! |
| [03:22.68] | I can' t believe I' m considering this. |
| [03:25.22] | l' m very aware of my tongue. Come on. |
| [03:28.02] | Here goes. |
| [03:30.00] | Stand back, everyone. Incoming ego shrapnel. |
| [03:33.36] | All right, I can do this. |
| [03:39.50] | Yes? Hi. |
| [03:43.27] | Okay, next word would be... |
| [03:45.54] | ... Chandler. |
| [03:47.74] | Chandler is my name and.... |
| [03:50.91] | Hi! Hi! |
| [03:55.65] | Yes! Yes, I did. But what I didn' t say.... |
| [03:58.88] | What I wanted to say was... |
| [04:01.12] | ... would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night. |
| [04:05.06] | Chandler? |
| [04:09.83] | I didn' t know you could dance! You were in a play! |
| [04:13.30] | What' d you think? |
| [04:15.57] | I didn' t know you could dance! You were in a play! |
| [04:19.07] | It wasn' t that bad. I was the lead. |
| [04:21.84] | It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head. |
| [04:26.31] | You' re right. We saw your head. |
| [04:29.01] | How about that accent? |
| [04:31.15] | Yeah. All of your W' s were V' s. |
| [04:37.46] | She said yes! |
| [04:40.29] | Awful play, man! |
| [04:44.36] | Her name' s Aurora. She' s ltalian and she pronounces my name " Chandler. " |
| [04:50.80] | I like that better. |
| [04:52.34] | The usher gave me this. |
| [04:54.37] | What is it? The Estelle Leonard T alent Agency. |
| [04:57.68] | An agency left its card. They wanna sign me! |
| [05:00.61] | Based on this play? |
| [05:04.28] | Based on this play! |
| [05:06.58] | Look! There' s a note on the back. |
| [05:14.43] | She was obviously very moved! |
| [05:17.10] | You should call her fairly quickly. |
| [05:19.80] | Yeah! As soon as possible! |
| [05:25.54] | Come in! |
| [05:28.31] | Hi. I' m here to see Estelle Leonard. Hi. |
| [05:30.91] | Just a moment, let me see if she' s in. |
| [05:35.35] | Hello. |
| [05:38.75] | You' re Estelle? I know... |
| [05:40.82] | ... you weren' t expecting someone so fantastically beautiful. |
| [05:47.59] | Love lump. T ake a load off already, darling. Sit already. |
| [05:53.00] | I can' t tell you how excited I am to be here. |
| [05:56.43] | Why not? |
| [05:59.44] | What I meant was You don' t mind if I eat, do you? |
| [06:10.15] | ... sweetheart, let me ask you a question. |
| [06:13.55] | Did you ever see the movie Sleepless in Seattle? |
| [06:17.42] | Wow! Do you represent those actors? No. |
| [06:21.19] | But you know the end, where they' re happy? |
| [06:24.83] | That' s gonna be you and me. |
| [06:28.40] | You mean you wanna sign me? |
| [06:30.50] | No, I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building and make out. |
| [06:36.71] | Of course I wanna sign you! |
| [06:39.54] | Miss Leonard, I' m so Oh, boy. |
| [06:42.18] | Ride them, cowboy. l' m sorry! |
| [06:55.13] | I don' t see it! |
| [06:59.83] | T ry to look through it. Unfocus your eyes. |
| [07:03.20] | Focus? There' s nothing to focus on. |
| [07:06.44] | It' s the Statue of Liberty! Right! |
| [07:10.11] | Where' s the Statue of Liberty? There. |
| [07:13.18] | I can' t not see it now. |
| [07:18.18] | Come here. Do you see anything here? |
| [07:20.75] | lt looks like a boat. A boat. |
| [07:24.36] | Right in front of the Statue of Liberty. |
| [07:29.09] | It' s been seven seconds, and you haven' t asked me how my date went. |
| [07:33.83] | How was your date, Chandler? |
| [07:36.30] | It was unbelievable! |
| [07:37.80] | I' ve never met anyone like her. She' s had an amazing life! |
| [07:41.64] | She was in the Israeli army. |
| [07:43.67] | None of the bullets hit the engine, so we made it to the border. |
| [07:48.41] | But just barely, and l.... |
| [07:51.18] | I' ve been talking about myself all night long. I' m sorry. |
| [07:55.45] | What about you? T ell me a story. |
| [07:58.42] | All right, once... |
| [08:00.83] | ... I got on the subway. |
| [08:02.83] | And it was at night... |
| [08:04.83] | ... and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn. ... |
| [08:08.17] | Just for the hell of it. |
| [08:14.64] | More or less. |
| [08:15.94] | Suddenly, we realized we were in Yemen. |
| [08:18.74] | I' m sorry, so " we" is...? |
| [08:21.11] | " We" is me and Rick. |
| [08:22.65] | Who' s Rick? |
| [08:23.85] | Who' s Rick? |
| [08:26.35] | My husband. |
| [08:30.09] | Oh, so you' re divorced? No. |
| [08:33.42] | I' m sorry. So you' re widowed? Hopefully? |
| [08:37.76] | No, l' m still married. |
| [08:40.90] | So, how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me... |
| [08:45.74] | ... sliding your foot so far up my leg you can count the change in my pocket? ... |
| [08:52.18] | Don' t worry. |
| [08:53.78] | He' d be okay with you because he' s okay with Ethan. |
| [08:58.35] | Ethan? There' s an Ethan? |
| [09:01.89] | Ethan is my boyfriend. |
| [09:05.52] | What? shén me? |
| [09:08.76] | What kind of relationship do you imagine us having... |
| [09:12.33] | ... if you have a husband and a boyfriend? |
| [09:15.50] | I suppose, mainly sexual. |
| [09:21.57] | Sorry it didn' t work out. |
| [09:23.44] | What, not work out? I' m seeing her again on Thursday. |
| [09:26.91] | Didn' t you listen to the story? |
| [09:30.82] | Didn' t you listen? It' s twisted! |
| [09:33.45] | How could you get involved with her? |
| [09:35.89] | I had trouble with it at first. But I get the good stuff. |
| [09:40.00] | All the fun, all the talking, all the sex... |
| [09:43.16] | ... and none of the responsibility. |
| [09:46.43] | This is every guy' s fantasy! That' s not true! |
| [09:49.80] | Ross, is this your fantasy? No, of course not. |
| [09:55.27] | Yeah. Yeah, it is. |
| [09:57.94] | You' d go out with someone going out with someone else? |
| [10:04.25] | When l' m with a woman, I need to know... |
| [10:10.39] | Once, I went out with a guy who just got divorced. |
| [10:14.03] | It was hard. His kids liked me better than him. |
| [10:17.60] | What does this have to do with Chandler? |
| [10:21.13] | Nothing. |
| [10:23.27] | I didn' t have anything on that topic. |
| [10:26.14] | So I went another way. |
| [10:29.24] | You know, monogamy can be a tricky concept. |
| [10:33.38] | I mean, anthropologically speaking |
| [10:37.68] | Fine. Now you' ll never know. |
| [10:40.02] | We' re kidding. T ell us. |
| [10:41.89] | We wanna know. Come on! |
| [10:43.65] | All right. There' s a theory put forth by Richard Leakey |
| [10:58.60] | Are we greeting each other this way now? I like it. |
| [11:03.44] | Look! I cleaned! |
| [11:05.31] | I did the windows. I did the floors. |
| [11:07.81] | I used all the vacuum attachments but the round one. What' s it for? |
| [11:16.39] | What do you think? |
| [11:17.76] | It' s very clean. Really, it looks great! |
| [11:25.06] | I see you moved the green ottoman. |
| [11:31.47] | How did that happen? |
| [11:34.44] | I don' t know. It looked better there. |
| [11:37.81] | And it' s an extra seat around the table. |
| [11:41.11] | Yeah, it' s interesting. |
| [11:44.55] | But you know what? Just for fun... |
| [11:47.15] | ... Iet' s see what it looked like in the old spot. ... |
| [11:51.46] | Just to compare. |
| [11:53.32] | Let' s see. |
| [11:55.06] | Well, it looks good there too. |
| [11:57.36] | Let' s leave it there for a while. |
| [12:00.50] | I can' t believe you moved the green ottoman. |
| [12:04.47] | Be glad you didn' t fan the magazines. She' ll scratch your eyes out. |
| [12:09.11] | You guys, I am not that bad! Yeah, you are. |
| [12:13.74] | Remember, I lived with you? You were a little.... |
| [12:21.42] | That is so unfair! |
| [12:22.92] | When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn' t raggedy. |
| [12:29.43] | Okay, so I' m responsible. I' m organized. |
| [12:32.30] | But hey, I can be a kook! |
| [12:36.53] | All right, you madcap gal! |
| [12:40.37] | Imagine this. |
| [12:41.74] | The phone bill arrives, but you don' t pay it right away. |
| [12:45.88] | Why not? Because you' re a kook! |
| [12:50.51] | You wait until they send a notice. |
| [12:54.05] | I could do that. |
| [12:55.62] | Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping |
| [12:59.86] | No problem. I' m not done yet. |
| [13:03.66] | And I buy detergent, but it' s not the one with the easypour spout. |
| [13:08.77] | Why would someone do that? |
| [13:12.54] | One might wonder. |
| [13:15.81] | But I would be fine with that. |
| [13:19.28] | A glass is on the table with no coaster. A cold drink. A hot day. |
| [13:24.65] | Beads of condensation are inching closer to the wood.... |
| [13:29.19] | Stop it! |
| [13:34.02] | Oh, my God! |
| [13:35.73] | It' s true. Who am l? |
| [13:38.20] | Monica, you' re Mom. |
| [13:48.57] | Oh, my God! |
| [13:52.31] | Okay, I' ll be there. |
| [13:56.38] | That was my agent. |
| [13:59.92] | My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie! |
| [14:06.09] | That' s great! What' s the part? |
| [14:09.06] | Can you believe it? Pacino! This guy' s why I became an actor! |
| [14:13.40] | " Out of order? You' re out of order! This whole courtroom' s out of order! " " |
| [14:19.77] | Seriously, what' s the part? |
| [14:21.74] | " Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! " |
| [14:25.71] | Come on. Seriously, Joey, what' s the part? |
| [14:30.71] | You' re.... What? |
| [14:34.89] | I' m his butt double, okay? |
| [14:41.69] | I play Al Pacino' s butt. |
| [14:46.50] | All right? He goes into the shower, and then... |
| [14:50.03] | ... I' m his butt. ... |
| [14:52.40] | Oh, my God! |
| [14:53.87] | Come on, you guys. |
| [14:55.31] | It' s a real Pacino movie and that' s big! |
| [14:58.84] | It' s terrific. You deserve this. |
| [15:01.65] | After years of struggling you' ve cracked your way into show business. |
| [15:09.25] | Fine. Make jokes, I don' t care. |
| [15:11.79] | This is a big break for me! You' re right. It is. |
| [15:16.43] | So, will you invite us to the big opening? |
| [15:29.27] | I need some moisturizer. For what? |
| [15:32.41] | T oday' s the big day! |
| [15:37.11] | You got any tweezers? I think I have a rogue hair. |
| [15:41.00] | God. Go in the bathroom. Use whatever you want. |
| [15:44.12] | Don' t ever tell me what you did in there. |
| [15:47.16] | Thank you. |
| [15:50.63] | Joey' s mom' s on the phone. ln the bathroom. |
| [15:53.63] | You don' t wanna go in there! Come on, we' re roommates. |
| [15:58.50] | My eyes! My eyes! |
| [16:03.57] | I warned you. |
| [16:05.41] | Who is being loud? |
| [16:07.31] | Oh, that would be Monica. |
| [16:09.85] | Can I borrow stuff? I wanna make Aurora breakfast. |
| [16:13.18] | You got the whole night? |
| [16:15.19] | Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so.... |
| [16:18.39] | Do I sense resentment? |
| [16:20.56] | No. No resentment. Believe me... |
| [16:23.89] | ... it' s worth it, okay? |
| [16:26.23] | In a relationship, you have moments you' ll remember the rest of your life. |
| [16:31.27] | Every single second is like that with Aurora. |
| [16:34.71] | I' ve just wasted 35 of them talking to you. |
| [16:37.57] | So, Monica, can you help me with the door? |
| [16:42.01] | The old Monica would remind you... |
| [16:44.82] | ... to scrub that T eflon pan with a plastic brush. |
| [16:49.82] | But l' m not gonna do that. |
| [16:58.43] | Excuse me? Can they warm it up? I' m concerned about goose bumps. |
| [17:03.50] | Everybody ready? |
| [17:06.14] | I wanna thank you for this opportunity. |
| [17:09.27] | I mean, I know this is just a first step, but I hope that someday |
| [17:14.71] | Lose the robe. |
| [17:16.15] | Right. Okay. Losing the robe! |
| [17:20.55] | Okay, and the robe is lost. |
| [17:23.29] | I would like to get this in one take. |
| [17:26.29] | Let' s roll it. |
| [17:27.83] | Water' s working. |
| [17:30.09] | And action! |
| [17:33.90] | And cut! |
| [17:36.13] | Butt guy, what are you doing? |
| [17:39.07] | I' m showering. |
| [17:40.80] | No, that was clenching. |
| [17:43.14] | The way I see it, the guy' s upset here, you know? |
| [17:47.04] | His wife' s dead, his brother' s missing. |
| [17:49.65] | I think his butt would be angry here. |
| [17:53.08] | I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch. |
| [18:00.82] | And action! |
| [18:04.09] | And cut! What was that? |
| [18:07.83] | I was going for quiet desperation. |
| [18:11.74] | But if you have to ask.... |
| [18:21.11] | God, I love these fingers. |
| [18:23.21] | Thank you. |
| [18:24.62] | No, actually, I meant my fingers. |
| [18:28.29] | Look at them. Look at how happy they are. |
| [18:32.66] | Oh, my God, l' m late! Oh, no! |
| [18:35.93] | Don' t go. Okay. |
| [18:39.80] | I have to. Look, she' s leaving. |
| [18:42.57] | I' m sorry. He' ll be waiting for me. |
| [18:45.27] | I thought you talked to Rick. It' s not Rick. |
| [18:49.24] | Ethan? He gets the whole day! |
| [18:51.81] | No, it' s Andrew. |
| [18:58.85] | I know there' ll be moments.. |
| [19:00.92] | ... when I' ll regret asking the following question, but.... |
| [19:05.26] | And Andrew is? He' s... |
| [19:08.06] | ... new. |
| [19:10.26] | So you' re not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? |
| [19:14.93] | No, that' s not exactly what I was |
| [19:17.60] | Most women would kill... |
| [19:19.54] | ... for three guys like us. |
| [19:23.04] | So, what do you want? You. |
| [19:26.44] | You have me. No. Just you. |
| [19:29.65] | What do you mean? Lose the other guys. |
| [19:33.65] | Like, all of them? |
| [19:37.25] | Come on, we' re great together. Why not? |
| [19:40.39] | Can' t we have what we have now? |
| [19:42.66] | Why can' t we talk and make love... |
| [19:45.30] | ... without feeling obligated to each other? |
| [19:48.47] | Up until tonight, I thought that' s what you wanted too. |
| [19:53.07] | Well, part of me wants that... |
| [20:04.05] | The guy who wells up when the Grinch' s heart grows... |
| [20:07.65] | ... and breaks that measuring device. |
| [20:10.45] | He' s saying, you know, " This is too hard. Get out! " |
| [20:15.56] | So, which one of the guys will you listen to? |
| [20:19.46] | I have to listen to both. They don' t let each other finish. |
| [20:24.94] | Which one? |
| [20:29.84] | The second guy. |
| [20:32.54] | I see. |
| [20:38.45] | Call me if you change your mind. |
| [20:49.36] | Sorry, the first guy runs the lips. |
| [21:05.68] | Look at it this way. You dumped her! |
| [21:09.75] | Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy... |
| [21:14.28] | ... and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable. |
| [21:19.56] | T ell me why you did this again? |
| [21:24.26] | Movie star! |
| [21:25.90] | Wait! Aren' t you the guy who plays the butt in the new Pacino movie? |
| [21:31.60] | Nope. |
| [21:35.87] | Big guy? |
| [21:39.18] | It felt like a " big guy" moment. |
| [21:42.68] | I got fired! |
| [21:44.88] | They said I acted too much with it. |
| [21:49.35] | I told everybody about this! |
| [21:51.69] | Everybody' s expecting to see me. lKnow what? |
| [21:54.69] | No one will be able to tell. My mom will. |
| [22:00.33] | There' s something so sweet and disturbing about that. |
| [22:05.67] | I' ve done crappy plays for six years... |
| [22:08.84] | ... and I finally get my shot, and I blow it! |
| [22:12.48] | Maybe this wasn' t it. |
| [22:14.44] | I think when it' s your shot, you know it' s your shot. |
| [22:19.52] | Did it feel like your shot? |
| [22:23.35] | Hard to tell. I was naked. |
| [22:26.29] | I don' t think this was it. I don' t think you just get one. |
| [22:30.56] | I believe things are gonna happen for you. I do. |
| [22:34.16] | You' ve got to think about the day some kid will go: |
| [22:38.27] | " l got the part! I' m gonna be Joey T ribbiani' s ass! " |
| [22:45.28] | You think? That' s so nice. |
| [22:53.92] | I' m sorry, Joey. I' m gonna go to bed, guys. |
| [22:57.09] | Good night. Good night. |
| [22:59.56] | You' re gonna leave your shoes out here? |
| [23:05.90] | Really? Just casually strewn about... |
| [23:09.00] | ... in that reckless, haphazard manner? ... |
| [23:13.20] | It doesn' t matter. I' ll get them tomorrow. Or not! |
| [23:18.68] | Whenever. |
| [23:22.85] | She is a kook. |
| [23:37.89] | If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. |
| [23:43.47] | No, don ' t do this! |
| [23:46.27] | This is stupid! |
| [23:47.94] | I don ' t have to prove anything. I' m gonna get them. |
| [23:51.88] | But then everyone will know. |
| [23:55.18] | Unless I get them, then wake up really early and put them back. |
| [23:59.82] | I need help! |
| [24:05.56] | All you want is a dinkle Not that song! |
| [24:09.83] | All you envy' s a schwang Come on, you guys. |
| [24:14.03] | A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:22.01] | All you want is a dinkle |
| [24:26.01] | What you envy' s a schwang |
| [24:29.55] | A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:33.28] | Or play with or simply let hang |
YouTube Results (More on YouTube)