| [00:02.97] | There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space |
| [00:05.67] | And she could easily combine your stupid ass with your face |
| [00:08.81] | Her name was Samus Aran, and she would destroy Metroids |
| [00:11.99] | When she wasn't totally pissed, she was extremely annoyed |
| [00:15.31] | She stood up to every challenge, no matter however demanding |
| [00:18.63] | And her courage was amazing, and her boobies were outstanding |
| [00:21.92] | What?! |
| [00:22.18] | Uh, nothing! I was just saying that you're brave |
| [00:24.92] | Uh... okay... hey, look over there! It's Kraid! |
| [00:28.47] | I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen |
| [00:31.37] | You're gonna die, motherfucker, I take up five screens |
| [00:34.58] | I'm gonna swallow you whole, and then you'll go down easy! |
| [00:37.89] | Then you'll be digested and converted to feces! |
| [00:41.19] | I'll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes |
| [00:44.26] | And your beautiful hair, and your well-toned thighs |
| [00:47.43] | And your pillowy lips and... wait, you're not a guy? |
| [00:50.71] | Is that a problem, you fuck?! |
| [00:51.99] | Uh... no! Prepare to die! |
| [00:54.03] | Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight |
| [00:56.93] | She got into a battle stance that made her butt look super-tight |
| [01:00.10] | And Kraid said: |
| [01:00.75] | No wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake |
| [01:03.36] | I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked |
| [01:06.84] | But Samus said: |
| [01:07.63] | What pisses me off most in this world |
| [01:09.78] | Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl |
| [01:13.05] | So do me a favor, and take your cakes and your pies |
| [01:16.11] | And shove them so far up your ass that they end up behind your eyes! |
| [01:19.72] | Stop treating me like I'm a sex object! |
| [01:22.75] | Mother Brain's a woman, but she gets respect! |
| [01:25.50] | Yeah, Kraid, you never talk to me that way! |
| [01:29.04] | Oh, gosh, I wonder if it's because you're a huge, disgusting brain! |
| [01:32.21] | Get the fuck off my planet, this is your last chance! |
| [01:35.31] | I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants |
| [01:38.48] | That's it, you're all fucking dead! |
| [01:40.13] | What? This room feels stuffy |
| [01:41.81] | By the way, do you like puppies? |
| [01:43.64] | Here's a basket of puppies! |
| [01:48.99] | Whoops. Killed the puppies. |
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