| Good morning miss | |
| Can I help you son? | |
| Sixteen today | |
| And up for fun | |
| I'm a big boy now | |
| Or so they say | |
| So if you'll serve | |
| I'll be on my way | |
| Box of balloons | |
| With the feather-light touch | |
| Pack of party-poppers | |
| That pop in the night | |
| A toothbrush and hairspray | |
| Plastic grin | |
| Miss Clay on all corners | |
| Has just walked in | |
| Welcome to the House of Fun | |
| Now I've come of age | |
| Welcome to the House of Fun | |
| Welcome to the lion's den | |
| Temptation's on his way | |
| Welcome to the House of | |
| N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss | |
| You misunderstood | |
| Sixteen big boy | |
| Full pint in my manhood | |
| I'm up to date | |
| And the date's today | |
| So if you'll serve | |
| I'll be on my way | |
| Welcome to the House of Fun | |
| Now I've come of age | |
| Welcome to the lion's den | |
| Temptation's on his way | |
| Welcome to the House of (Fun) | |
| I'm sorry son | |
| But we don't stock | |
| Party gimmicks | |
| In this shop | |
| Try the House of Fun | |
| It's quicker if you run | |
| This is a chemist | |
| Not a jokers' shop! | |
| Party hats | |
| Simple enough clear | |
| Comprehende savvy understand | |
| Do you hear? | |
| A pack of party hats | |
| With the coloured tips | |
| Too late! | |
| Gorgon's heard gossip | |
| Well hello Joe, hello Miss Clay | |
| Many happy returns from the day | |
| Welcome to the House of Fun | |
| Now I've come of age | |
| Welcome to the House of Fun | |
| Welcome to the lion's den | |
| Temptation's on his way | |
| Welcome to the House of Fun | |
| Welcome to the House of Fun... |
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