| Curtain opens, spot lights the gentleman | |
| Signing his love letter best wishes Simpleton | |
| Dialog swam from his pen like polliwogs | |
| He knew better that perfume was gravity | |
| Pulling him closer to what could be tragedy | |
| Love is blind, deaf and dumb, but never mind | |
| You better catch me when I fall | |
| I'm on my roller skates | |
| 'Cause any ol' way that I fall | |
| I land in your arms even though it's wrong | |
| 'Cause I love my new mistake | |
| Intermission gave way to a miracle | |
| The birth of an accident grew to a spectacle | |
| That couldn't wait, the mother was three weeks late | |
| So Father Mason, clutching his crucifix | |
| Baptized the baby in whiskey and licorice | |
| What a lovely way, drowning sins in tooth decay | |
| Looks like our hero's gonna fall | |
| The bow's about to break | |
| 'Cause any ol' way that I fall | |
| I'll be in your arms as we lie awake | |
| With our lovely new mistake | |
| You better catch me when I fall | |
| My sugar trampoline | |
| 'Cause any ol' way that I fall | |
| I land in your arms even though it's wrong | |
| 'Cause I love my new mistake | |
| The ending turned tragic when many years later | |
| The baby had grown up and married a pop singer | |
| I think it was her turn to make her first mistake | |
| Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall | |
| Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall | |
| Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall | |
| Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall | |
| Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall | |
| Any ol' time at fall |