| I looked in the mirror | |
| (What did you see looking at you?) | |
| I saw a nine stone weakling | |
| (What will you do?) | |
| Dynamic Tension waiting for you? | |
| Dynamic Tension make a man out of you | |
| I opened my magazine | |
| (What did you see?) | |
| I saw Mr. France | |
| (What did he have?) | |
| A girl on each shoulder | |
| (What else?) | |
| And one in his pants | |
| Dynamic Tension can do this for you | |
| Dynamic Tension make a man out of | |
| You you you you you | |
| So our hero goes down to the beach | |
| He's in real terrible shape | |
| His chick's been seen with big Alex | |
| That mother kicked sand in his face | |
| Now let me tell you about Alex | |
| He's got: | |
| Hands like hams | |
| Knees like trees | |
| 200 lbs | |
| Of surfboard Hercules | |
| Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me | |
| I lost my girl down by the beach | |
| She's with Alex and she's out of reach | |
| So please Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me | |
| I saw your body in an advert on T.V. | |
| But what convinced me was your money back guarantee | |
| Now I'm stronger than Alex | |
| (Where is he now?) | |
| He's left in disgrace | |
| (Oh yeah?) | |
| `Cos I took back my girlfriend | |
| (Ha, ha, ha, ha) | |
| And kicked sand in his face | |
| (In his eyes, in his ears, in his nose) | |
| Dynamic Tension waiting for you | |
| Dynamic Tension make a man out of you | |
| Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension | |
| Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension |