| "I love you" means "do what I want you to" | |
| "I promise" means I'll tell you what you want to hear | |
| "Believe me" means I'm trying very hard to deceive you | |
| "The rest of my life" means "for the forseeable future" | |
| "We'll always be together" means we're too scared to split up | |
| "I want us to live together" means I think this is what you want, though I don't, but we'll probably split up soon anyway | |
| "I didn't stop thinking about you" means I thought about you once on the way home from a great night out without you | |
| "It doesn't suit you" means I'm too polite to tell you that your legs are like corned beef | |
| "I'm not pissed" means I'm so pissed I reckon I can convince you that I haven't had a bottle of Jim Bean with my flatmate | |
| "I didn't look at anyone else" means I went out with the girls, got so drunk, snogged every man I spoke to, and I'm feeling really guilty | |
| "I want to have your children" means I'm pissed | |
| "It happened a while ago" means I haven't stopped thinking about it since | |
| "What are you thinking?" means I daren't voice my feelings until I know exactly how you feel about me | |
| "You don't understand me" means I've been lying to you from the very start | |
| "I like you a lot" means I'm trying to persuade myself that I do | |
| "I need some time to myself" means a night in with your best friend | |
| Don't worry, the voice in the background is only the TV | |
| "Just friends" means I've slept with him once and I fully intend to do it again | |
| "Don't you trust me?" means if you believe the crap I've just told you... | |
| "My ex" means my greatest regret | |
| "I don't fancy anyone else" is a lie | |
| "I'm so confused" means I know what I want and it's not you | |
| "This isn't working out" means I've no intention of making sure it does | |
| "We've nothing in common any more" means we never did but it seemed like it after a few pints | |
| "You still have a special place in my heart" means I've met someone else | |
| "Can we still be friends?" means I know I've just broken your heart | |
| "I don't believe in love" means I've been hurt and I'm too scared to get involved again | |
| "I don't want a serious relationship" means sex and no consequences | |
| "There's no-one else" means there's no-one else right now | |
| "I'm not trying anything on" means I know you don't want to but I reckon if I keep trying you'll give in | |
| "He doesn't understand me" means I'm feeling unloved | |
| "I'd like to take you out some time" means this is my last desperate attempt to pull tonight | |
| "You're not my type" means you make my skin crawl | |
| "All men are useless" means I've been hurt, again. |
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