| [00:00.449] | 听说 有一种约泡儿神器 |
| [00:02.890] | 在这个世界上诞生了！ |
| [00:04.699] | 它可以让你躺在家里， |
| [00:06.790] | 就能搜到你周围所有的姑娘！ |
| [00:09.700] | 你可以寻找寂寞的异性， |
| [00:11.509] | 也可以破坏别人的爱情！ |
| [00:13.999] | 有了它 ***不再遥远 |
| [00:16.999] | 第三者的梦想即将实现！ |
| [00:19.909] | |
| [00:20.639] | 一个无聊的晚上 我躺在床上 |
| [00:23.199] | 刚刚看完 藤兰姐和小仓 |
| [00:25.459] | 左手放在被窝里ok状 |
| [00:27.699] | 右手用微信搜了一堆姑娘 |
| [00:29.939] | TM好多假的头像 |
| [00:31.339] | 有个姑娘距离我100米 |
| [00:33.309] | 牛逼这姑娘肯定跟我一个小区 |
| [00:36.690] | 我问姑娘能不能语音 姑娘说不行 |
| [00:38.649] | 明天吧 因为孩子睡了 |
| [00:40.959] | 孩子睡了? |
| [00:42.559] | 第二姑娘名字叫残花 |
| [00:44.590] | 我想她一定是我要找的败柳 |
| [00:47.590] | 想搜的就是这类骚妞！ |
| [00:49.129] | 嘿 姑娘交个朋友 |
| [00:50.529] | 听没听过我的名字 ” |
| [00:52.129] | 结果姑娘骂我臭不要脸冒充新街口呲妞 |
| [00:55.289] | 二话没说连我母亲一块问候 |
| [00:57.679] | 我跟姑娘解释半天我TM是正宗的 |
| [01:00.609] | 新街口组合真TM住通州！ |
| [01:02.759] | 微信 看来不能信 微信 看来不能信 |
| [01:08.149] | 我摇 我摇 我继续摇 |
| [01:10.529] | 约泡儿神器快点发挥神力 ！ |
| [01:13.229] | 微信 看来不能信 微信 看来不能信 |
| [01:19.069] | 我摇 我摇 我继续摇 |
| [01:21.789] | 约泡儿神器快点发挥神力 ！ |
| [01:24.169] | 话说兔子不能吃那窝边草 |
| [01:26.990] | 街坊邻居家的孩子看来不能乱搞 |
| [01:29.249] | 我比老宋聪明直接奔西单 |
| [01:31.739] | 在那一定能遇着我想要的新欢 |
| [01:34.489] | 我用卫生巾把车牌号档上 |
| [01:37.629] | 停在华威的旁边爷们不怕违章 |
| [01:40.590] | 哈哈 这姑娘多 随便一搜好几百个 |
| [01:42.859] | 哪个眼睛大哪个脸白我选哪个我选哪个 |
| [01:45.459] | 刚一打招呼就有姑娘回我 |
| [01:47.759] | 说愿意聊聊的话在星巴克等着 |
| [01:50.719] | 不一会我跟姑娘说我已经到了 |
| [01:53.329] | 姑娘说你先帮忙点杯卡布其诺 |
| [01:56.028] | 40分钟后我问姑娘你到哪了 |
| [01:58.589] | 姑娘回我 哦对不起我回家了改天吧 |
| [02:02.190] | 改天吧？你丫太不靠谱了！ |
| [02:05.790] | 你丫住哪我找你去！ |
| [02:06.649] | 微信 看来不能信 微信 就是不能信 |
| [02:11.409] | 我摇 我摇 我继续摇 |
| [02:14.090] | 约泡儿神器快点发挥神力 ！ |
| [02:16.559] | 微信 看来不能信 微信 就是不能信 |
| [02:22.478] | 我摇 我摇 我继续摇 |
| [02:24.999] | 约泡儿神器快点发挥神力 ！ |
| [02:28.699] | |
| [02:30.099] | 微信不能信 |
| [02:32.209] | 演唱：新街口组合 |
| [02:34.019] | |
| [02:49.319] | 我一怒之下奔向地铁 |
| [02:51.399] | 看来找微友得缩小范围 |
| [02:54.039] | 忽然间有个黑丝在我眼前一亮 |
| [02:56.559] | 我跟着姑娘进了一个车厢 |
| [02:58.459] | 可是一搜又一大堆头像 |
| [03:00.409] | 到底是哪个姑娘 |
| [03:01.739] | 我站在姑娘旁边挨个轻轻念名字 |
| [03:04.379] | 念到第30个的时候姑娘突然看我 |
| [03:07.039] | “你能不能别烦了我没微信！” |
| [03:09.259] | |
| [03:10.390] | 只要功夫深 铁杆磨成针 |
| [03:12.399] | 就在绝望的时候 |
| [03:13.769] | 突然一个身影出现 |
| [03:15.199] | "嗨 你是那个什么新街口组合吧" |
| [03:18.649] | 嗯哼 你是我粉丝？ |
| [03:20.689] | 是你发微信骚扰我老婆来的吧 |
| [03:24.790] | 棒棒棒棒（配音） |
| [03:24.999] | 嗨 我说大哥 你你你认错了吧 |
| [03:28.749] | 这胖子 这胖子是新街口组合的 |
| [03:28.790] | 真不是我！！！ |
| [03:31.049] | 微信 看来不能信 微信 就是不能信 |
| [03:36.290] | 我摇 我摇 我继续摇 |
| [03:38.539] | 约泡儿神器快点发挥神力 ！ |
| [03:41.429] | 微信 看来不能信 微信 就是不能信 |
| [03:46.309] | 我摇 我摇 我继续摇 |
| [03:48.968] | 约泡儿神器快点发挥神力 ！ |
| [03:51.769] | |
| [03:52.609] | 本故事纯属虚构 |
| [03:54.799] | 如有雷同 纯属倒霉 |
| [03:57.569] |
| [00:00.449] | ting shuo you yi zhong yue pao er shen qi |
| [00:02.890] | zai zhe ge shi jie shang dan sheng le! |
| [00:04.699] | ta ke yi rang ni tang zai jia li, |
| [00:06.790] | jiu neng sou dao ni zhou wei suo you de gu niang! |
| [00:09.700] | ni ke yi xun zhao ji mo de yi xing, |
| [00:11.509] | ye ke yi po huai bie ren de ai qing! |
| [00:13.999] | you le ta bu zai yao yuan |
| [00:16.999] | di san zhe de meng xiang ji jiang shi xian! |
| [00:19.909] | |
| [00:20.639] | yi ge wu liao de wan shang wo tang zai chuang shang |
| [00:23.199] | gang gang kan wan teng lan jie he xiao cang |
| [00:25.459] | zuo shou fang zai bei wo li ok zhuang |
| [00:27.699] | you shou yong wei xin sou le yi dui gu niang |
| [00:29.939] | TM hao duo jia de tou xiang |
| [00:31.339] | you ge gu niang ju li wo 100 mi |
| [00:33.309] | niu bi zhe gu niang ken ding gen wo yi ge xiao qu |
| [00:36.690] | wo wen gu niang neng bu neng yu yin gu niang shuo bu xing |
| [00:38.649] | ming tian ba yin wei hai zi shui le |
| [00:40.959] | hai zi shui le? |
| [00:42.559] | di er gu niang ming zi jiao can hua |
| [00:44.590] | wo xiang ta yi ding shi wo yao zhao de bai liu |
| [00:47.590] | xiang sou de jiu shi zhe lei sao niu! |
| [00:49.129] | hei gu niang jiao ge peng you |
| [00:50.529] | ting mei ting guo wo de ming zi " |
| [00:52.129] | jie guo gu niang ma wo chou bu yao lian mao chong xin jie kou ci niu |
| [00:55.289] | er hua mei shuo lian wo mu qin yi kuai wen hou |
| [00:57.679] | wo gen gu niang jie shi ban tian wo TM shi zheng zong de |
| [01:00.609] | xin jie kou zu he zhen TM zhu tong zhou! |
| [01:02.759] | wei xin kan lai bu neng xin wei xin kan lai bu neng xin |
| [01:08.149] | wo yao wo yao wo ji xu yao |
| [01:10.529] | yue pao er shen qi kuai dian fa hui shen li ! |
| [01:13.229] | wei xin kan lai bu neng xin wei xin kan lai bu neng xin |
| [01:19.069] | wo yao wo yao wo ji xu yao |
| [01:21.789] | yue pao er shen qi kuai dian fa hui shen li ! |
| [01:24.169] | hua shuo tu zi bu neng chi na wo bian cao |
| [01:26.990] | jie fang lin ju jia de hai zi kan lai bu neng luan gao |
| [01:29.249] | wo bi lao song cong ming zhi jie ben xi dan |
| [01:31.739] | zai na yi ding neng yu zhe wo xiang yao de xin huan |
| [01:34.489] | wo yong wei sheng jin ba che pai hao dang shang |
| [01:37.629] | ting zai hua wei de pang bian ye men bu pa wei zhang |
| [01:40.590] | ha ha zhe gu niang duo sui bian yi sou hao ji bai ge |
| [01:42.859] | nei ge yan jing da nei ge lian bai wo xuan nei ge wo xuan nei ge |
| [01:45.459] | gang yi da zhao hu jiu you gu niang hui wo |
| [01:47.759] | shuo yuan yi liao liao de hua zai xing ba ke deng zhe |
| [01:50.719] | bu yi hui wo gen gu niang shuo wo yi jing dao le |
| [01:53.329] | gu niang shuo ni xian bang mang dian bei ka bu qi nuo |
| [01:56.028] | 40 fen zhong hou wo wen gu niang ni dao na le |
| [01:58.589] | gu niang hui wo o dui bu qi wo hui jia le gai tian ba |
| [02:02.190] | gai tian ba? ni ya tai bu kao pu le! |
| [02:05.790] | ni ya zhu na wo zhao ni qu! |
| [02:06.649] | wei xin kan lai bu neng xin wei xin jiu shi bu neng xin |
| [02:11.409] | wo yao wo yao wo ji xu yao |
| [02:14.090] | yue pao er shen qi kuai dian fa hui shen li ! |
| [02:16.559] | wei xin kan lai bu neng xin wei xin jiu shi bu neng xin |
| [02:22.478] | wo yao wo yao wo ji xu yao |
| [02:24.999] | yue pao er shen qi kuai dian fa hui shen li ! |
| [02:28.699] | |
| [02:30.099] | wei xin bu neng xin |
| [02:32.209] | yan chang: xin jie kou zu he |
| [02:34.019] | |
| [02:49.319] | wo yi nu zhi xia ben xiang di tie |
| [02:51.399] | kan lai zhao wei you de suo xiao fan wei |
| [02:54.039] | hu ran jian you ge hei si zai wo yan qian yi liang |
| [02:56.559] | wo gen zhe gu niang jin le yi ge che xiang |
| [02:58.459] | ke shi yi sou you yi da dui tou xiang |
| [03:00.409] | dao di shi nei ge gu niang |
| [03:01.739] | wo zhan zai gu niang pang bian ai ge qing qing nian ming zi |
| [03:04.379] | nian dao di 30 ge de shi hou gu niang tu ran kan wo |
| [03:07.039] | " ni neng bu neng bie fan le wo mei wei xin!" |
| [03:09.259] | |
| [03:10.390] | zhi yao gong fu shen tie gan mo cheng zhen |
| [03:12.399] | jiu zai jue wang de shi hou |
| [03:13.769] | tu ran yi ge shen ying chu xian |
| [03:15.199] | " hai ni shi na ge shen me xin jie kou zu he ba" |
| [03:18.649] | heng ni shi wo fen si? |
| [03:20.689] | shi ni fa wei xin sao rao wo lao po lai de ba |
| [03:24.790] | bang bang bang bang pei yin |
| [03:24.999] | hai wo shuo da ge ni ni ni ren cuo le ba |
| [03:28.749] | zhe pang zi zhe pang zi shi xin jie kou zu he de |
| [03:28.790] | zhen bu shi wo!!! |
| [03:31.049] | wei xin kan lai bu neng xin wei xin jiu shi bu neng xin |
| [03:36.290] | wo yao wo yao wo ji xu yao |
| [03:38.539] | yue pao er shen qi kuai dian fa hui shen li ! |
| [03:41.429] | wei xin kan lai bu neng xin wei xin jiu shi bu neng xin |
| [03:46.309] | wo yao wo yao wo ji xu yao |
| [03:48.968] | yue pao er shen qi kuai dian fa hui shen li ! |
| [03:51.769] | |
| [03:52.609] | ben gu shi chun shu xu gou |
| [03:54.799] | ru you lei tong chun shu dao mei |
| [03:57.569] |
| [00:00.449] | tīng shuō yǒu yī zhǒng yuē pào ér shén qì |
| [00:02.890] | zài zhè gè shì jiè shang dàn shēng le! |
| [00:04.699] | tā kě yǐ ràng nǐ tǎng zài jiā lǐ, |
| [00:06.790] | jiù néng sōu dào nǐ zhōu wéi suǒ yǒu de gū niáng! |
| [00:09.700] | nǐ kě yǐ xún zhǎo jì mò de yì xìng, |
| [00:11.509] | yě kě yǐ pò huài bié rén de ài qíng! |
| [00:13.999] | yǒu le tā bù zài yáo yuǎn |
| [00:16.999] | dì sān zhě de mèng xiǎng jí jiāng shí xiàn! |
| [00:19.909] | |
| [00:20.639] | yí gè wú liáo de wǎn shàng wǒ tǎng zài chuáng shàng |
| [00:23.199] | gāng gāng kàn wán téng lán jiě hé xiǎo cāng |
| [00:25.459] | zuǒ shǒu fàng zài bèi wō lǐ ok zhuàng |
| [00:27.699] | yòu shǒu yòng wēi xìn sōu le yī duī gū niáng |
| [00:29.939] | TM hǎo duō jiǎ de tóu xiàng |
| [00:31.339] | yǒu gè gū niáng jù lí wǒ 100 mǐ |
| [00:33.309] | niú bī zhè gū niáng kěn dìng gēn wǒ yí gè xiǎo qū |
| [00:36.690] | wǒ wèn gū niáng néng bù néng yǔ yīn gū niáng shuō bù xíng |
| [00:38.649] | míng tiān ba yīn wèi hái zi shuì le |
| [00:40.959] | hái zi shuì le? |
| [00:42.559] | dì èr gū niáng míng zì jiào cán huā |
| [00:44.590] | wǒ xiǎng tā yí dìng shì wǒ yào zhǎo de bài liǔ |
| [00:47.590] | xiǎng sōu de jiù shì zhè lèi sāo niū! |
| [00:49.129] | hēi gū niáng jiāo gè péng yǒu |
| [00:50.529] | tīng méi tīng guò wǒ de míng zì " |
| [00:52.129] | jié guǒ gū niáng mà wǒ chòu bú yào liǎn mào chōng xīn jiē kǒu cī niū |
| [00:55.289] | èr huà méi shuō lián wǒ mǔ qīn yí kuài wèn hòu |
| [00:57.679] | wǒ gēn gū niáng jiě shì bàn tiān wǒ TM shì zhèng zōng de |
| [01:00.609] | xīn jiē kǒu zǔ hé zhēn TM zhù tōng zhōu! |
| [01:02.759] | wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn |
| [01:08.149] | wǒ yáo wǒ yáo wǒ jì xù yáo |
| [01:10.529] | yuē pào ér shén qì kuài diǎn fā huī shén lì ! |
| [01:13.229] | wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn |
| [01:19.069] | wǒ yáo wǒ yáo wǒ jì xù yáo |
| [01:21.789] | yuē pào ér shén qì kuài diǎn fā huī shén lì ! |
| [01:24.169] | huà shuō tù zi bù néng chī nà wō biān cǎo |
| [01:26.990] | jiē fāng lín jū jiā de hái zi kàn lái bù néng luàn gǎo |
| [01:29.249] | wǒ bǐ lǎo sòng cōng míng zhí jiē bēn xī dān |
| [01:31.739] | zài nà yí dìng néng yù zhe wǒ xiǎng yào de xīn huān |
| [01:34.489] | wǒ yòng wèi shēng jīn bǎ chē pái hào dàng shàng |
| [01:37.629] | tíng zài huá wēi de páng biān yé men bù pà wéi zhāng |
| [01:40.590] | hā hā zhè gū niáng duō suí biàn yī sōu hǎo jǐ bǎi gè |
| [01:42.859] | něi gè yǎn jīng dà něi gè liǎn bái wǒ xuǎn něi gè wǒ xuǎn něi gè |
| [01:45.459] | gāng yī dǎ zhāo hū jiù yǒu gū niáng huí wǒ |
| [01:47.759] | shuō yuàn yì liáo liáo de huà zài xīng bā kè děng zhe |
| [01:50.719] | bù yī huì wǒ gēn gū niáng shuō wǒ yǐ jīng dào le |
| [01:53.329] | gū niáng shuō nǐ xiān bāng máng diǎn bēi kǎ bù qí nuò |
| [01:56.028] | 40 fēn zhōng hòu wǒ wèn gū niáng nǐ dào nǎ le |
| [01:58.589] | gū niáng huí wǒ ó duì bù qǐ wǒ huí jiā le gǎi tiān ba |
| [02:02.190] | gǎi tiān ba? nǐ yā tài bù kào pǔ le! |
| [02:05.790] | nǐ yā zhù nǎ wǒ zhǎo nǐ qù! |
| [02:06.649] | wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn wēi xìn jiù shì bù néng xìn |
| [02:11.409] | wǒ yáo wǒ yáo wǒ jì xù yáo |
| [02:14.090] | yuē pào ér shén qì kuài diǎn fā huī shén lì ! |
| [02:16.559] | wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn wēi xìn jiù shì bù néng xìn |
| [02:22.478] | wǒ yáo wǒ yáo wǒ jì xù yáo |
| [02:24.999] | yuē pào ér shén qì kuài diǎn fā huī shén lì ! |
| [02:28.699] | |
| [02:30.099] | wēi xìn bù néng xìn |
| [02:32.209] | yǎn chàng: xīn jiē kǒu zǔ hé |
| [02:34.019] | |
| [02:49.319] | wǒ yī nù zhī xià bēn xiàng dì tiě |
| [02:51.399] | kàn lái zhǎo wēi yǒu dé suō xiǎo fàn wéi |
| [02:54.039] | hū rán jiān yǒu gè hēi sī zài wǒ yǎn qián yī liàng |
| [02:56.559] | wǒ gēn zhe gū niáng jìn le yí gè chē xiāng |
| [02:58.459] | kě shì yī sōu yòu yī dà duī tóu xiàng |
| [03:00.409] | dào dǐ shì něi gè gū niáng |
| [03:01.739] | wǒ zhàn zài gū niáng páng biān āi gè qīng qīng niàn míng zì |
| [03:04.379] | niàn dào dì 30 gè de shí hòu gū niáng tū rán kàn wǒ |
| [03:07.039] | " nǐ néng bù néng bié fán le wǒ méi wēi xìn!" |
| [03:09.259] | |
| [03:10.390] | zhǐ yāo gōng fū shēn tiě gǎn mó chéng zhēn |
| [03:12.399] | jiù zài jué wàng de shí hòu |
| [03:13.769] | tū rán yí gè shēn yǐng chū xiàn |
| [03:15.199] | " hāi nǐ shì nà gè shén me xīn jiē kǒu zǔ hé ba" |
| [03:18.649] | hēng nǐ shì wǒ fěn sī? |
| [03:20.689] | shì nǐ fā wēi xìn sāo rǎo wǒ lǎo pó lái de ba |
| [03:24.790] | bàng bàng bàng bàng pèi yīn |
| [03:24.999] | hāi wǒ shuō dà gē nǐ nǐ nǐ rèn cuò le ba |
| [03:28.749] | zhè pàng zi zhè pàng zi shì xīn jiē kǒu zǔ hé de |
| [03:28.790] | zhēn bú shì wǒ!!! |
| [03:31.049] | wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn wēi xìn jiù shì bù néng xìn |
| [03:36.290] | wǒ yáo wǒ yáo wǒ jì xù yáo |
| [03:38.539] | yuē pào ér shén qì kuài diǎn fā huī shén lì ! |
| [03:41.429] | wēi xìn kàn lái bù néng xìn wēi xìn jiù shì bù néng xìn |
| [03:46.309] | wǒ yáo wǒ yáo wǒ jì xù yáo |
| [03:48.968] | yuē pào ér shén qì kuài diǎn fā huī shén lì ! |
| [03:51.769] | |
| [03:52.609] | běn gù shì chún shǔ xū gòu |
| [03:54.799] | rú yǒu léi tóng chún shǔ dǎo méi |
| [03:57.569] |
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