Your Horoscope for Today Lyrics
| Song | Your Horoscope for Today |
| Artist | Weird Al Yankovic |
| Album | Running with Scissors |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| [00:00.00] | 作词 : Yankovic |
| [00:11.47] | Aquarius |
| [00:12.30] | There's travel in your future when your tongue |
| [00:14.70] | freezes to the back of a speeding bus |
| [00:17.52] | Fill that void in your pathetic life |
| [00:19.69] | by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day |
| [00:22.42] | Pisces |
| [00:23.05] | Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos |
| [00:25.55] | with the E. Bola virus |
| [00:27.50] | You are the true Lord of the Dance |
| [00:30.24] | no matter what those idiots at work say |
| [00:32.40] | Aries |
| [00:33.05] | The look on your face will be priceless |
| [00:34.58] | when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon |
| [00:38.28] | Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf |
| [00:40.79] | then give a hickey to Meryl Streep |
| [00:42.64] | Taurus |
| [00:43.07] | You will never find true happiness |
| [00:45.47] | whatcha gonna do, cry about it? |
| [00:47.98] | The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, |
| [00:50.48] | do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep |
| [00:53.64] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [00:58.64] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [01:03.77] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [01:08.77] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [01:13.45] | Gemini |
| [01:13.99] | Your birthday party will be ruined once again |
| [01:17.00] | by your explosive flatulence |
| [01:19.06] | Your love life will run into trouble when your |
| [01:21.25] | fiance hurls a javelin through your chest |
| [01:23.88] | Cancer |
| [01:24.29] | The position of Jupiter says that you should |
| [01:26.69] | spend the rest of the week face down in the mud |
| [01:29.63] | Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose |
| [01:32.58] | while taking your driver's test |
| [01:34.21] | Leo |
| [01:34.52] | Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt |
| [01:36.81] | and staple it to your boss's face, oh no |
| [01:39.64] | Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding |
| [01:41.60] | and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik |
| [01:44.86] | Virgo |
| [01:45.30] | All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent |
| [01:49.00] | except for you |
| [01:50.09] | Expect a big surprise today |
| [01:52.26] | when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick |
| [01:55.32] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [02:00.32] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [02:05.55] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [02:10.89] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [02:15.35] | Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least |
| [02:17.85] | a bit unlikely that the relative position of the |
| [02:20.26] | planets and the stars could have a special deep significance |
| [02:22.53] | or meaning that exclusively applies to only you |
| [02:25.05] | but let me give you my assurance that these |
| [02:26.57] | forecasts and predictions are all based on |
| [02:28.31] | solid scientific documented evidence |
| [02:30.37] | so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize |
| [02:32.90] | that every single one of them is absolutely true |
| [02:35.39] | Where was I? |
| [02:35.82] | Libra |
| [02:36.39] | A big promotion is just around the corner |
| [02:38.89] | for someone much more talented than you |
| [02:41.62] | Laughter is the very best medicine |
| [02:43.47] | remember that when your appendix bursts next week |
| [02:46.21] | Scorpio |
| [02:46.85] | Get ready for an unexpected trip |
| [02:49.02] | when you fall screaming from an open window |
| [02:51.85] | Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem |
| [02:55.23] | you stupid freak |
| [02:56.43] | Sagittarius |
| [02:57.30] | All your friends are laughing behind your back |
| [03:00.24] | K I L L T H E M |
| [03:01.77] | Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine |
| [03:05.24] | you've got hanging in your den |
| [03:06.88] | Capricorn |
| [03:07.64] | The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person |
| [03:11.02] | but you know they're lying |
| [03:12.43] | If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and |
| [03:14.39] | never never never never never leave my house again |
| [03:17.66] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [03:22.66] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [03:27.89] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [03:33.02] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [03:38.15] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [03:43.15] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [03:48.27] | That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) |
| [03:53.28] | That's your horoscope for today |
| [03:56.00] |
| [00:00.00] | zuo ci : Yankovic |
| [00:11.47] | Aquarius |
| [00:12.30] | There' s travel in your future when your tongue |
| [00:14.70] | freezes to the back of a speeding bus |
| [00:17.52] | Fill that void in your pathetic life |
| [00:19.69] | by playing WhackAMole seventeen hours a day |
| [00:22.42] | Pisces |
| [00:23.05] | Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos |
| [00:25.55] | with the E. Bola virus |
| [00:27.50] | You are the true Lord of the Dance |
| [00:30.24] | no matter what those idiots at work say |
| [00:32.40] | Aries |
| [00:33.05] | The look on your face will be priceless |
| [00:34.58] | when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon |
| [00:38.28] | Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf |
| [00:40.79] | then give a hickey to Meryl Streep |
| [00:42.64] | Taurus |
| [00:43.07] | You will never find true happiness |
| [00:45.47] | whatcha gonna do, cry about it? |
| [00:47.98] | The stars predict tomorrow you' ll wake up, |
| [00:50.48] | do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep |
| [00:53.64] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [00:58.64] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [01:03.77] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [01:08.77] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [01:13.45] | Gemini |
| [01:13.99] | Your birthday party will be ruined once again |
| [01:17.00] | by your explosive flatulence |
| [01:19.06] | Your love life will run into trouble when your |
| [01:21.25] | fiance hurls a javelin through your chest |
| [01:23.88] | Cancer |
| [01:24.29] | The position of Jupiter says that you should |
| [01:26.69] | spend the rest of the week face down in the mud |
| [01:29.63] | Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose |
| [01:32.58] | while taking your driver' s test |
| [01:34.21] | Leo |
| [01:34.52] | Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt |
| [01:36.81] | and staple it to your boss' s face, oh no |
| [01:39.64] | Eat a bucket of tunaflavored pudding |
| [01:41.60] | and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik |
| [01:44.86] | Virgo |
| [01:45.30] | All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent |
| [01:49.00] | except for you |
| [01:50.09] | Expect a big surprise today |
| [01:52.26] | when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick |
| [01:55.32] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [02:00.32] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [02:05.55] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [02:10.89] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [02:15.35] | Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least |
| [02:17.85] | a bit unlikely that the relative position of the |
| [02:20.26] | planets and the stars could have a special deep significance |
| [02:22.53] | or meaning that exclusively applies to only you |
| [02:25.05] | but let me give you my assurance that these |
| [02:26.57] | forecasts and predictions are all based on |
| [02:28.31] | solid scientific documented evidence |
| [02:30.37] | so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize |
| [02:32.90] | that every single one of them is absolutely true |
| [02:35.39] | Where was I? |
| [02:35.82] | Libra |
| [02:36.39] | A big promotion is just around the corner |
| [02:38.89] | for someone much more talented than you |
| [02:41.62] | Laughter is the very best medicine |
| [02:43.47] | remember that when your appendix bursts next week |
| [02:46.21] | Scorpio |
| [02:46.85] | Get ready for an unexpected trip |
| [02:49.02] | when you fall screaming from an open window |
| [02:51.85] | Work a little harder on improving your low selfesteem |
| [02:55.23] | you stupid freak |
| [02:56.43] | Sagittarius |
| [02:57.30] | All your friends are laughing behind your back |
| [03:00.24] | K I L L T H E M |
| [03:01.77] | Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine |
| [03:05.24] | you' ve got hanging in your den |
| [03:06.88] | Capricorn |
| [03:07.64] | The stars say that you' re an exciting and wonderful person |
| [03:11.02] | but you know they' re lying |
| [03:12.43] | If I were you, I' d lock my doors and windows and |
| [03:14.39] | never never never never never leave my house again |
| [03:17.66] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:22.66] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:27.89] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:33.02] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:38.15] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:43.15] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:48.27] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:53.28] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:56.00] |
| [00:00.00] | zuò cí : Yankovic |
| [00:11.47] | Aquarius |
| [00:12.30] | There' s travel in your future when your tongue |
| [00:14.70] | freezes to the back of a speeding bus |
| [00:17.52] | Fill that void in your pathetic life |
| [00:19.69] | by playing WhackAMole seventeen hours a day |
| [00:22.42] | Pisces |
| [00:23.05] | Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos |
| [00:25.55] | with the E. Bola virus |
| [00:27.50] | You are the true Lord of the Dance |
| [00:30.24] | no matter what those idiots at work say |
| [00:32.40] | Aries |
| [00:33.05] | The look on your face will be priceless |
| [00:34.58] | when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon |
| [00:38.28] | Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf |
| [00:40.79] | then give a hickey to Meryl Streep |
| [00:42.64] | Taurus |
| [00:43.07] | You will never find true happiness |
| [00:45.47] | whatcha gonna do, cry about it? |
| [00:47.98] | The stars predict tomorrow you' ll wake up, |
| [00:50.48] | do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep |
| [00:53.64] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [00:58.64] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [01:03.77] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [01:08.77] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [01:13.45] | Gemini |
| [01:13.99] | Your birthday party will be ruined once again |
| [01:17.00] | by your explosive flatulence |
| [01:19.06] | Your love life will run into trouble when your |
| [01:21.25] | fiance hurls a javelin through your chest |
| [01:23.88] | Cancer |
| [01:24.29] | The position of Jupiter says that you should |
| [01:26.69] | spend the rest of the week face down in the mud |
| [01:29.63] | Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose |
| [01:32.58] | while taking your driver' s test |
| [01:34.21] | Leo |
| [01:34.52] | Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt |
| [01:36.81] | and staple it to your boss' s face, oh no |
| [01:39.64] | Eat a bucket of tunaflavored pudding |
| [01:41.60] | and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik |
| [01:44.86] | Virgo |
| [01:45.30] | All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent |
| [01:49.00] | except for you |
| [01:50.09] | Expect a big surprise today |
| [01:52.26] | when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick |
| [01:55.32] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [02:00.32] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [02:05.55] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [02:10.89] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [02:15.35] | Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least |
| [02:17.85] | a bit unlikely that the relative position of the |
| [02:20.26] | planets and the stars could have a special deep significance |
| [02:22.53] | or meaning that exclusively applies to only you |
| [02:25.05] | but let me give you my assurance that these |
| [02:26.57] | forecasts and predictions are all based on |
| [02:28.31] | solid scientific documented evidence |
| [02:30.37] | so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize |
| [02:32.90] | that every single one of them is absolutely true |
| [02:35.39] | Where was I? |
| [02:35.82] | Libra |
| [02:36.39] | A big promotion is just around the corner |
| [02:38.89] | for someone much more talented than you |
| [02:41.62] | Laughter is the very best medicine |
| [02:43.47] | remember that when your appendix bursts next week |
| [02:46.21] | Scorpio |
| [02:46.85] | Get ready for an unexpected trip |
| [02:49.02] | when you fall screaming from an open window |
| [02:51.85] | Work a little harder on improving your low selfesteem |
| [02:55.23] | you stupid freak |
| [02:56.43] | Sagittarius |
| [02:57.30] | All your friends are laughing behind your back |
| [03:00.24] | K I L L T H E M |
| [03:01.77] | Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine |
| [03:05.24] | you' ve got hanging in your den |
| [03:06.88] | Capricorn |
| [03:07.64] | The stars say that you' re an exciting and wonderful person |
| [03:11.02] | but you know they' re lying |
| [03:12.43] | If I were you, I' d lock my doors and windows and |
| [03:14.39] | never never never never never leave my house again |
| [03:17.66] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:22.66] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:27.89] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:33.02] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:38.15] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:43.15] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:48.27] | That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay |
| [03:53.28] | That' s your horoscope for today |
| [03:56.00] |
Similar Songs
YouTube Results (More on YouTube)