| I make a date for golf | |
| And you can bet your life it rains | |
| I try to throw a party | |
| And the guy upstairs complains | |
| I guess I'll go through life | |
| Just catching colds and missing trains | |
| Everything happens to me | |
| I never miss a thing, | |
| I've had the measles and the mumps | |
| And every time I play an ace | |
| My partner always trumps | |
| I guess I'm just a fool | |
| Who never looks before he jumps | |
| Everything happens to me | |
| At first I thought that you could break this jinx for me | |
| That love would turn the trick to end despair | |
| Now I just can't fool this head that thinks for me | |
| I've mortgaged all my castles in the air | |
| I've telegraphed and phoned | |
| And sent an airmail special too | |
| Your answer was goodbye | |
| And there was even postage due | |
| I fell in love just once | |
| It had to be with you | |
| Everything happens to me. | |
| Everything happens to me |