Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we're cosy and clingin' Well sir, all I can say, is if I were a bell I'd be ringin' From the moment we kissed tonight, that's the way I've just gotta behave Boy, if I were a lamp I'd light or if I were a banner I'd wave Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing Well sir, all I can say is if gate I'd be swinging And if I were a watch I'd start popping my springs Or if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong ding Yes, I knew my morale would crack From the wonderful way that you looked Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we're fondly caressing Well, if I were a salad, I know I'd be splashing my dressing Or if I were a season, I'd surely be spring Or if I were a gate, I would swing, have a fling almost any old thing Or if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding ding dong