She's a latter-day saint,
But she's a Saturday sinner.
Suicide, Sunday dessert
For weekends, drinkin her dinner.
The worry keeps her slender.
The pills keep her awake.
Her man can't make her happy but he helps to still the shakes.
So I met her boyfriend at the bar,
He said he'd stick to beer.
Said I could keep the cocktails,
Martinis taste like tears.
I asked if he would leave her, what with all the grief.
He passed the pitcher back to me and asked what I believed.
I said virginity's a childhood disease
And these days, it seems, have interest for the attic thief
Patience for the epigrammatic but brief
There's only four ways to acquire
Anyone says different is a salesman or a liar
You can find it, earn it, make it, or steal it
I haven't found a single way to keep it
You can leash it, it'll leave; you can teach it to stay and it'll leave
You can case a display and let it decay and waste it away 
And day by day, it leaves you by degrees
He put his hand on my knee; sometimes that's what it takes
He doesn't make me happy but he helps to still the shakes
Put all your words away
For all the noise you make
You were always safe
You were always, you were always, you were always sa----fe
With me, safe in sleep
Congratulations to the dry eyes
Consolations to the nice guys
And condensation's on the underside of everything I touch
I seem to chill the objects that I meant so much to love
A man can keep you sane five hundred and fifty days
A year and a half, give or take an afternoon
We should've sooner left the train but we made it
I guess that makes us the survivors to a blooming in my brain, I hate it
But it makes the colors brighter
Pump the anesthesia, spite the man that leaves you, might the sad disease you Contracted while standing boring and bored
Come back from the lab report as
The nervous disorder only the rich are afforded
Safe with me
Safe in sleep
Sa---------fe
Put all your words away
For all the noise you make
You were always safe
You were always, you were always, you were always sa-----fe
With me, safe in sleep--
And I'm too polite to accuse you of being
Where you've been tonight