| Song | Cathouse Tragedy |
| Artist | Voltaire |
| Album | Riding a Black Unicorn... |
| [Spoken] Alright girls, come on. | |
| Move it along. | |
| Don’t dilly-dally, | |
| Men are waiting. | |
| Gentlemen! | |
| Come on in, right on in, | |
| To our temple of sin, | |
| The sensual land, sublime | |
| With multiple versions | |
| Of every perversion | |
| And women of every kind | |
| If you’re a fellow | |
| Who likes a bordello | |
| With something on for a change, | |
| Two dollars more, | |
| You can have a dead whore | |
| We specialize in the strange | |
| If you get lucky this evening | |
| And one takes you up for a whirl | |
| Might I suggest you look under the dress | |
| ‘Cause we can’t tell the boys from the girls here! | |
| Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight! | |
| Come and see | |
| Why we like to call our cathouse | |
| Tragedy! | |
| What a curious sight! | |
| Our female selection | |
| Is not quite perfection | |
| It’s like biting into a bitter confection | |
| At Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| There’s an Asian albino | |
| And as far as I know | |
| She has the prosthetic eye | |
| And if you approve it | |
| She’ll gladly remove it | |
| If you tire of her thighs | |
| Don’t be alarmed | |
| By the girl with no arms | |
| She’s actually quite a treat | |
| And if you wanna | |
| She’ll peel your banana | |
| She’s bloody good with her feet! | |
| If you get lucky this evening | |
| And one takes you up for a spin | |
| Might be suggestin’ | |
| A lamby intestine | |
| You don’t know where these girls have been! | |
| Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight! | |
| Come and see | |
| Why we like to call our cathouse | |
| Tragedy! | |
| It’s a curious sight! | |
| Our female selection | |
| Is not quite perfection | |
| It’s like biting into a bitter confection | |
| At Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| They called you pretty | |
| In your hometown | |
| Not to be petty, | |
| But here in the city, | |
| You’re not all that pretty, | |
| You’re lucky we keep you around! | |
| Now get back to work! | |
| Come on in to the cathouse! | |
| We’ve got pussies of every kind! | |
| We have black, white and yellow and red ones! | |
| And only one or two are feline! | |
| I’m your benevolent MC | |
| And I’m here to make sure they behave | |
| Sure, they smell like cheese | |
| And they’re full of disease, | |
| But just think of the money you’ll save! | |
| Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight! | |
| Come and see | |
| Why we like to call our cathouse | |
| Tragedy! | |
| It’s a curious sight! | |
| Our female collection | |
| Is not quite perfection | |
| It’s like biting into a bitter confection | |
| At Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| At the Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| [Spoken]Alright girls, come on, move it along. | |
| I don’t want to be here anymore than you. | |
| Ahh, I should've been a dentist. |
| Spoken Alright girls, come on. | |
| Move it along. | |
| Don' t dillydally, | |
| Men are waiting. | |
| Gentlemen! | |
| Come on in, right on in, | |
| To our temple of sin, | |
| The sensual land, sublime | |
| With multiple versions | |
| Of every perversion | |
| And women of every kind | |
| If you' re a fellow | |
| Who likes a bordello | |
| With something on for a change, | |
| Two dollars more, | |
| You can have a dead whore | |
| We specialize in the strange | |
| If you get lucky this evening | |
| And one takes you up for a whirl | |
| Might I suggest you look under the dress | |
| ' Cause we can' t tell the boys from the girls here! | |
| Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight! | |
| Come and see | |
| Why we like to call our cathouse | |
| Tragedy! | |
| What a curious sight! | |
| Our female selection | |
| Is not quite perfection | |
| It' s like biting into a bitter confection | |
| At Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| There' s an Asian albino | |
| And as far as I know | |
| She has the prosthetic eye | |
| And if you approve it | |
| She' ll gladly remove it | |
| If you tire of her thighs | |
| Don' t be alarmed | |
| By the girl with no arms | |
| She' s actually quite a treat | |
| And if you wanna | |
| She' ll peel your banana | |
| She' s bloody good with her feet! | |
| If you get lucky this evening | |
| And one takes you up for a spin | |
| Might be suggestin' | |
| A lamby intestine | |
| You don' t know where these girls have been! | |
| Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight! | |
| Come and see | |
| Why we like to call our cathouse | |
| Tragedy! | |
| It' s a curious sight! | |
| Our female selection | |
| Is not quite perfection | |
| It' s like biting into a bitter confection | |
| At Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| They called you pretty | |
| In your hometown | |
| Not to be petty, | |
| But here in the city, | |
| You' re not all that pretty, | |
| You' re lucky we keep you around! | |
| Now get back to work! | |
| Come on in to the cathouse! | |
| We' ve got pussies of every kind! | |
| We have black, white and yellow and red ones! | |
| And only one or two are feline! | |
| I' m your benevolent MC | |
| And I' m here to make sure they behave | |
| Sure, they smell like cheese | |
| And they' re full of disease, | |
| But just think of the money you' ll save! | |
| Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight! | |
| Come and see | |
| Why we like to call our cathouse | |
| Tragedy! | |
| It' s a curious sight! | |
| Our female collection | |
| Is not quite perfection | |
| It' s like biting into a bitter confection | |
| At Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| At the Cathouse Tragedy! | |
| Spoken Alright girls, come on, move it along. | |
| I don' t want to be here anymore than you. | |
| Ahh, I should' ve been a dentist. |