Well, if my album sold a million,
 my label would love me
 I'd be a hero of the underground
 on the radio almost constantly
 
 You know, my fame would be shortlived
 Everyone would be so bored
 They'd say that the fame's gone to my head
 and no one would buy my records anymore
 
 Well, I'd get a job at a cafe
 serving tea and cake
 I'd tell anyone who had a mission
 that they were making a huge mistake
 
 Then my fans would find this song
 discover that I have prophetic skills
 and all my albums would be re-released
 and I'd live in Beverly Hills