作词 : Momus
He's a polyglot, a psychopath, an androgyne
He likes to handcuff Japanese girls hanging upside down
He is rampant like the stallion
He wears the gold medallion
Of the Royal Order Of Reprobates Of Lichtenstein
He's a bondage fan, a gastronome, a sensualist
Unparalleled for sinister lasciviousness
In a love hotel at half past four
He'll purchase schoolgirl underwear
Meet Noboyu***** Araki for dinner there
Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To screw the pants off Japanese girls
The professor isn't home right now, so this is the real me
I want to grind bones with a naked baby cow
And squash the squid and jump the junk
I want to peel the pample mouse pink to the pulp
Part the fronds and enter this, my magical place
Let us sing the song of innocence and experience
He's a zoophile, a hydrophobe, a lotus flower
He carries patent leather snake oil for his ***** power
When it's time to **** their socks off
He boards his flight at Tempelhof
Countdown to Tokyo and zero hour
Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To screw the pants off Japanese girls
You are culpable but highly ****able
I'll bring you home by midnight, death by chocolate,
The horn by stealth of moonlight
I'll stab you to the hilt
Satin you and jasmine you and, finally, critically
Drink the ectoplasmic jet
Grip and grab three hot bags of girly goddess head
Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To screw the pants off Japanese girls
The Professor isn't in right now but I'm his bastard cousin
The funky little pervert Reverend Hyde,
One superbad dude, come to my pad, let's collude and let's collide
Clasping and gasping, climax in unison, spermatozoon, clapping, coming,
Consummate, original, stunning from start to finish in performance and execution
Invoke the deities, shock the pants off several
Choke on sacred bread and pollute the holy wafer
Inject a cloud of **** in the middle of the holy water
In clouds of unknowing I want to know
In places I have never been I want to go
I want to get my rocks off till my **** pops off
Professor Shaftenberg
Professor Shaftenberg
He is sponsored by Lufthansa
To bore the pants off Japanese girls