| Song | Nepoleon in Russia |
| Artist | Jandek |
| Album | Staring at the Cellophane |
| It was a crushing victory | |
| Napoleon and his army | |
| Marched across some other soil | |
| Took the farmers from their toil | |
| Waged a war that could never be won | |
| Dream of masters, fanatics | |
| Great men, of course they were | |
| They had to be | |
| Fall out a window, Napoleon | |
| On your white horse | |
| And with your sword | |
| And your big hat | |
| And half a right hand |