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Can't believe this. [B:] |
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I'm gonna kill this motherfucker. [sigh] [Jake (the other guy):] |
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Hallo [B:] |
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Hello, Jake [J:] |
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Uh, hi there |
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Bob. How is it going? [B:] |
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Well, I'm just fun-fucking-tastic, |
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Jake. How are you? [J:] |
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Oh, you know. |
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Can't complain. [B:] |
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That's just fucking great. |
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Hey. I just spoke with my neighbour who lives across the street, and he told me that you came by my house today. |
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While I was at work. [J:] |
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Oh, uh. Yeah, yeah, |
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I just popped in there for a few minutes. [B:] |
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A few minutes? |
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My neighbour says it was more like three hours. |
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So what could've you been possible doing alone in my house, with my wife, for three hours? [J:] |
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Oh, no, no, no. |
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Look I— [B:] ' |
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Cause you see, a guy like me can get suspicious. [J:] |
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Listen, uh. |
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I can explain everything. |
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I, I— [B:] |
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Oh, I want you to explain. [J:] |
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It's not what you think, um. [B:] |
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Well, please, enlighten me |
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Jake, 'cause |
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I'm really fucking curious to know what you were doing. [J:] |
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Look, it's nothing. |
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It's stupid, really. |
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I, I went over to your house, around one o'clock ([B:] huh), and |
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I fucked your wife and then |
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I left. [B:] |
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Really... [J:] |
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Really, I swear. |
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I went over, |
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I fucked her for a while, and after we both came, |
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I just went home. [B:] |
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Is my name |
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Forest Gump, |
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Jake? [J:] |
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Um, what? [B:] |
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Answer the fucking question! |
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Is my name |
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Forest Gump?! [J:] |
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Oh, well, no. [B:] |
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So why are you treating me like |
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I'm a fucking retard. |
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You expect me to believe that you were in my house for three hours and all you did was fuck my wife?! [J:] |
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I came over, she, she blew me there for a while ([B:] aha) |
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I came, so we had to wait for a while. |
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Then we had sex in the kitchen, for a while, then we had sex in the living room... [B:] |
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You're fucking lying to me, and |
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I really don't like it |
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Jake. You were in my house for three hours! [J:] |
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No, no. It's not like that. |
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You see, we had sex a few times, and then she wanted more. |
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She said she was really wet and feeling dirty and she wants more than one cock inside of her ([B:] Hm). |
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So we called your brother to see if he wanted to come over and get in on the action, and, and he said ' |
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Yes!', so we waited around for about an hour. |
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That's, that's why it took so long. [B:] |
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Hmm. My brother? ([J:] Uhm) |
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You and my brother double-teamed my wife? [J:] |
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Oh, yeah, yeah. |
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We gave it to her boy. |
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In every hole. [B:] |
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Aha. See, that's funny. ' |
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Cause my brother's in |
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Miami this week. |
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I find it hard to believe that my brother flew all the way to |
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Miami here, to double-team my wife with you. [J:] |
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Oh, well, uhh... [B:] |
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And you know what the funny thing is? |
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The facet in my kitchen has been leaking for three months now. |
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And suddenly today, of all days, it decided to stop leaking. [J:] |
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Uh, oh, oh. [B:] |
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I'm gonna give you one last chance to answer this question. |
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And if you lie, |
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I guarantee you, you're gonna regret it. |
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What where you doing in my house today?! [J:] |
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I'm, I'm sorry. |
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Your wife called me, and |
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I didn't, |
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I didn't. [B:] |
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ANSWER THE |
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FUCKING QU |
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ESTION! [J:] |
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Your wife wanted me to fix the facet, 'cause she couldn't stand the dripping noise anymore. |
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I didn't want to do it, but she begged me! [B:] |
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And what did |
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YOU do?! [J:] |
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I fixed it. |
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I fixed the facet. |
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I'm sorry! [B:] |
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You motherfucking, cocksucking piece of shit, you fucking fix my facet, you backstabbing |
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FUCK!, I'm gonna fix your face, you hear me?! [J: (crying)] |
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I— [B:] |
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I'm gonna fix your fucking... |