| Song | Bogus Official |
| Artist | Half Man Half Biscuit |
| Album | Achtung Bono |
| I’m the man that you need on the day that it rains | |
| I’m the wiser advisor on capital gains | |
| I’m the lowlife pretending to look at your drains | |
| I’m a bogus official | |
| Don’t let me in | |
| I’m the police, I’m the clergy, I’m Measures and Weights | |
| I’m the chap doing the survey on alley gates | |
| I need to know where you’ll be on the following dates | |
| ‘Cos I’m a bogus official | |
| Nice dress | |
| Courteous, friendly, jolly, and fat | |
| With a smile saying, “Look, I know it’s under the mat | |
| I don’t give a fuck about your missing cat” | |
| B-O-G-U-S official |
| I' m the man that you need on the day that it rains | |
| I' m the wiser advisor on capital gains | |
| I' m the lowlife pretending to look at your drains | |
| I' m a bogus official | |
| Don' t let me in | |
| I' m the police, I' m the clergy, I' m Measures and Weights | |
| I' m the chap doing the survey on alley gates | |
| I need to know where you' ll be on the following dates | |
| ' Cos I' m a bogus official | |
| Nice dress | |
| Courteous, friendly, jolly, and fat | |
| With a smile saying, " Look, I know it' s under the mat | |
| I don' t give a fuck about your missing cat" | |
| BOGUS official |