[ti:Professional Rapper]
[ar:Lil *************y]
[al:Professional Rapper]
[00:00.00]
[00:03.31]Hello, how can I help you?
[00:05.14]Hi, my name's Dave Burd
[00:07.32]I have an appointment today. It's probably under "Lil *************y"
[00:10.86]Actually, I'm a… I'm a rapper, so…
[00:13.37]OK, and who are you here to see?
[00:15.71]Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g"
[00:19.52]Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right
[00:22.72]Give him a knock and he should be right with you
[00:24.71]Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right?
[00:27.42]Mm-hmm
[00:28.28]Thank you
[00:30.41]Grab a seat
[00:31.22]Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
[00:33.09]Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
[00:35.04]Let me just check your sheet
[00:36.20]No problem
[00:37.00]Sir, let me just say
[00:38.07]I'm a big fan of the *************t that y'all make
[00:39.83]I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
[00:41.61]All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
[00:43.53]Let me start with your background
[00:44.70]Where you come from?
[00:45.44]Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
[00:47.26]Before that
[00:47.87]Oh, you talking bout my hometown?
[00:48.87]Yeah
[00:49.24]I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
[00:52.21]It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
[00:54.03]So real *************t you ain't never had to struggle for much
[00:56.00]I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
[00:58.41]Elaborate
[00:59.23]Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
[01:01.86]Like I was doing *************t I had to do so when I finished undergrad
[01:04.31]I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
[01:06.37]But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
[01:08.10]Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that
[01:11.02]When you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
[01:13.67]Boo hoo what a hard*************p
[01:15.04]How you paid to get the rap *************t started?
[01:16.48]Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
[01:17.59]But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
[01:20.85]I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
[01:22.84]Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
[01:25.08]Yeah, I guess
[01:25.59]That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
[01:27.81]Oh my god, it's the best
[01:29.14]******* let me draw up on their breasts
[01:30.34]Literally I can reinvent myself
[01:31.92]I get a forum to project myself
[01:33.28]It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
[01:35.55]I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
[01:37.81]It's kinda healthy
[01:38.56]Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
[01:40.54]Sure
[01:40.84]In a club and a couple *************s threaten you
[01:42.40]Uh, I wouldn't do *************t
[01:44.12]And I don't even get what that got to do with this?
[01:46.04]Shut the ************* up, rap's like life
[01:47.34]If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little *************
[01:50.00]Nah, that's my niche!
[01:51.11]Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
[01:53.84]That's the target I'll hit
[01:55.18]And that's the heart of my pitch
[01:56.48]I wanna do this whole thing different
[01:59.12]What the ************* you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
[02:01.59]Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
[02:03.56]Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh you know, the same kind of way for a long time
[02:07.73]But traditionally speaking, this *************t works, right?
[02:10.27]Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
[02:12.95]You don't know if it could be working even better
[02:15.33]And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
[02:19.02]I don't mean any disrespect by that
[02:20.75]I'm just saying I have a different background
[02:22.18]Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
[02:26.79]So what are your biggest strengths?
[02:28.72]Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
[02:30.89]For example, I can be like ain't nobody ******g with Lil *************y
[02:32.97]When he get up on that *************t and spit it sick and ridiculous
[02:34.73]Ripping this *************t like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
[02:37.41]Cause I can switch it, deliver this *************t in whatever cadence you ******* prefer
[02:39.74]Alright, alright, I get it
[02:40.91]Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)
[02:42.63]Got a long bottom *************, called a hoe Neville (Whoa)
[02:44.59]And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
[02:46.43]You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
[02:48.31]And y'all been winning like Pistorius, it's no feat
[02:50.13]Bro, I can go on and on
[02:51.34]I'm taking over and they mad like father-in-laws
[02:53.39]OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different than the other guys
[02:56.59]Well I don't know if they can run it like that
[02:58.00]But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
[02:59.78]What's that?
[03:00.12]Well I can tell a story about my morning
[03:01.84]Watching Boy Meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
[03:04.52]Like the 14 year old Topanga
[03:05.83]Oh this *************t like a joke to you? I don't get it
[03:07.66]Nah it ain't like that
[03:08.49]I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual, like, as a guy
[03:11.56]So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
[03:13.84]Real recognize real, right?
[03:15.06]Yeah, I guess. So what you trying to do?
[03:16.67]Five years from now, tell me bout the due
[03:18.61]Well, I don't care about the money
[03:19.77]Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
[03:21.24]Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
[03:22.62]Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
[03:24.68]I don't wanna leave the game the same
[03:26.00]In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
[03:27.78]Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand-up rap
[03:30.03]Put the random rap in demand like that for the people that was anti-rap
[03:33.22]Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that anti-rap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
[03:38.03]That *************t sound pretty damn complex
[03:39.55]I guess, I wanna be the best
[03:40.72]I just wanna do it my way
[03:42.09]And turn the whole game sideways
[03:43.46]And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
[03:45.53]You can make a path while these mother*******s drive straight
[03:47.64]I ain't mad at that
[03:48.61]Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
[03:49.86]Just let me in and I'mma rap the plaques
[03:51.16]And I ain't about to win them back to back
[03:52.90]I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
[03:55.08]Til I stop rapping
[03:56.20]You ain't even sold a damn album yet
[03:57.95]True
[03:58.28]That's a lot of talk from a wily vet
[03:59.64]Let alone a young rook *************
[04:01.13]You misread me
[04:01.89]Nah this ain't a book *************
[04:03.05]Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
[04:05.44]No, you just ******g repetitive dawg
[04:07.16]I get it, you trying to be better than all, but you ain't *************t until cheddars involved
[04:11.11]I get that I gotta prove myself
[04:12.57]No *************t you ain't done *************t
[04:14.06]But think about that though
[04:15.00]Only doing this a couple of years
[04:16.43]One tape and I'm like this?
[04:17.49]This *************t is aight for your first *************t
[04:19.11]But you don't know if it's your worst *************t
[04:20.41]You don't think finding out would be worth it?
[04:22.33]It might be, it might not
[04:23.95]But I'mma put your ass to work, kid
[04:25.65]Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
[04:28.51]Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
[04:32.16]What would you do for the hook for this song?
[04:33.56]You want me to make a hook up right now?
[04:35.70]Do I look like the type of ************* that like repeating himself?
[04:38.13]Alright, uh, okay
[04:39.32]Man do the hook!
[04:40.67]I'm bout to be professional
[04:42.50]Homie, I'm professional
[04:44.27]Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
[04:46.51]*************, that *************t is garbage man
[04:49.17]Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
[04:51.85]But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
[04:54.04]Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
[04:57.39]Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg *************t right there
[05:01.37]Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
[05:04.45]Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
[05:06.80]Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?
[05:08.85]Right now?
[05:09.86]Yeah
[05:10.37]Sure
[05:11.21]****. Juanita, bring some ****** in here, please. Thank you
[05:14.02]You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there
[05:15.69]Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
[05:18.39]*************, why does everything you say sound so soft?
[05:21.28]Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so…
[05:24.84]Yeah, whatever. Thanks
[05:25.87]Hey, I got y'all y'all ******
[05:28.00]Damn, that's some great looking ******. It's just so early
[05:31.96]Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?
[05:36.37]D-Did you just say head?
[05:38.33]Yeah. You ain't never got no head before?
[05:41.39]I mean… Just feels like… A lot, right now
[05:45.20]OK
[05:46.02]But what kind of tea do you guys have?
[05:47.34]We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, English breakfast…
[05:50.39]Actually, I'll take head
[05:52.12]I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head
[05:53.88]