Professional Rapper

Song Professional Rapper
Artist Lil Dicky
Artist Snoop Dogg
Album Professional Rapper

Lyrics

[ti:Professional Rapper]
[ar:Lil *************y]
[al:Professional Rapper]
[00:00.00]
[00:03.31] Hello, how can I help you?
[00:05.14] Hi, my name's Dave Burd
[00:07.32] I have an appointment today. It's probably under "Lil *************y"
[00:10.86] Actually, I'm a… I'm a rapper, so…
[00:13.37] OK, and who are you here to see?
[00:15.71] Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g"
[00:19.52] Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right
[00:22.72] Give him a knock and he should be right with you
[00:24.71] Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right?
[00:27.42] Mm-hmm
[00:28.28] Thank you
[00:30.41] Grab a seat
[00:31.22] Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
[00:33.09] Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
[00:35.04] Let me just check your sheet
[00:36.20] No problem
[00:37.00] Sir, let me just say
[00:38.07] I'm a big fan of the *************t that y'all make
[00:39.83] I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
[00:41.61] All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
[00:43.53] Let me start with your background
[00:44.70] Where you come from?
[00:45.44] Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
[00:47.26] Before that
[00:47.87] Oh, you talking bout my hometown?
[00:48.87] Yeah
[00:49.24] I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
[00:52.21] It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
[00:54.03] So real *************t you ain't never had to struggle for much
[00:56.00] I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
[00:58.41] Elaborate
[00:59.23] Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
[01:01.86] Like I was doing *************t I had to do so when I finished undergrad
[01:04.31] I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
[01:06.37] But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
[01:08.10] Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that
[01:11.02] When you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
[01:13.67] Boo hoo what a hard*************p
[01:15.04] How you paid to get the rap *************t started?
[01:16.48] Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
[01:17.59] But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
[01:20.85] I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
[01:22.84] Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
[01:25.08] Yeah, I guess
[01:25.59] That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
[01:27.81] Oh my god, it's the best
[01:29.14] ******* let me draw up on their breasts
[01:30.34] Literally I can reinvent myself
[01:31.92] I get a forum to project myself
[01:33.28] It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
[01:35.55] I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
[01:37.81] It's kinda healthy
[01:38.56] Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
[01:40.54] Sure
[01:40.84] In a club and a couple *************s threaten you
[01:42.40] Uh, I wouldn't do *************t
[01:44.12] And I don't even get what that got to do with this?
[01:46.04] Shut the ************* up, rap's like life
[01:47.34] If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little *************
[01:50.00] Nah, that's my niche!
[01:51.11] Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
[01:53.84] That's the target I'll hit
[01:55.18] And that's the heart of my pitch
[01:56.48] I wanna do this whole thing different
[01:59.12] What the ************* you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
[02:01.59] Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
[02:03.56] Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh you know, the same kind of way for a long time
[02:07.73] But traditionally speaking, this *************t works, right?
[02:10.27] Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
[02:12.95] You don't know if it could be working even better
[02:15.33] And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
[02:19.02] I don't mean any disrespect by that
[02:20.75] I'm just saying I have a different background
[02:22.18] Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
[02:26.79] So what are your biggest strengths?
[02:28.72] Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
[02:30.89] For example, I can be like ain't nobody ******g with Lil *************y
[02:32.97] When he get up on that *************t and spit it sick and ridiculous
[02:34.73] Ripping this *************t like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
[02:37.41] Cause I can switch it, deliver this *************t in whatever cadence you ******* prefer
[02:39.74] Alright, alright, I get it
[02:40.91] Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)
[02:42.63] Got a long bottom *************, called a hoe Neville (Whoa)
[02:44.59] And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
[02:46.43] You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
[02:48.31] And y'all been winning like Pistorius, it's no feat
[02:50.13] Bro, I can go on and on
[02:51.34] I'm taking over and they mad like father-in-laws
[02:53.39] OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different than the other guys
[02:56.59] Well I don't know if they can run it like that
[02:58.00] But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
[02:59.78] What's that?
[03:00.12] Well I can tell a story about my morning
[03:01.84] Watching Boy Meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
[03:04.52] Like the 14 year old Topanga
[03:05.83] Oh this *************t like a joke to you? I don't get it
[03:07.66] Nah it ain't like that
[03:08.49] I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual, like, as a guy
[03:11.56] So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
[03:13.84] Real recognize real, right?
[03:15.06] Yeah, I guess. So what you trying to do?
[03:16.67] Five years from now, tell me bout the due
[03:18.61] Well, I don't care about the money
[03:19.77] Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
[03:21.24] Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
[03:22.62] Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
[03:24.68] I don't wanna leave the game the same
[03:26.00] In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
[03:27.78] Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand-up rap
[03:30.03] Put the random rap in demand like that for the people that was anti-rap
[03:33.22] Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that anti-rap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
[03:38.03] That *************t sound pretty damn complex
[03:39.55] I guess, I wanna be the best
[03:40.72] I just wanna do it my way
[03:42.09] And turn the whole game sideways
[03:43.46] And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
[03:45.53] You can make a path while these mother*******s drive straight
[03:47.64] I ain't mad at that
[03:48.61] Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
[03:49.86] Just let me in and I'mma rap the plaques
[03:51.16] And I ain't about to win them back to back
[03:52.90] I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
[03:55.08] Til I stop rapping
[03:56.20] You ain't even sold a damn album yet
[03:57.95] True
[03:58.28] That's a lot of talk from a wily vet
[03:59.64] Let alone a young rook *************
[04:01.13] You misread me
[04:01.89] Nah this ain't a book *************
[04:03.05] Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
[04:05.44] No, you just ******g repetitive dawg
[04:07.16] I get it, you trying to be better than all, but you ain't *************t until cheddars involved
[04:11.11] I get that I gotta prove myself
[04:12.57] No *************t you ain't done *************t
[04:14.06] But think about that though
[04:15.00] Only doing this a couple of years
[04:16.43] One tape and I'm like this?
[04:17.49] This *************t is aight for your first *************t
[04:19.11] But you don't know if it's your worst *************t
[04:20.41] You don't think finding out would be worth it?
[04:22.33] It might be, it might not
[04:23.95] But I'mma put your ass to work, kid
[04:25.65] Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
[04:28.51] Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
[04:32.16] What would you do for the hook for this song?
[04:33.56] You want me to make a hook up right now?
[04:35.70] Do I look like the type of ************* that like repeating himself?
[04:38.13] Alright, uh, okay
[04:39.32] Man do the hook!
[04:40.67] I'm bout to be professional
[04:42.50] Homie, I'm professional
[04:44.27] Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
[04:46.51] *************, that *************t is garbage man
[04:49.17] Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
[04:51.85] But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
[04:54.04] Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
[04:57.39] Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg *************t right there
[05:01.37] Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
[05:04.45] Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
[05:06.80] Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?
[05:08.85] Right now?
[05:09.86] Yeah
[05:10.37] Sure
[05:11.21] ****. Juanita, bring some ****** in here, please. Thank you
[05:14.02] You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there
[05:15.69] Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
[05:18.39] *************, why does everything you say sound so soft?
[05:21.28] Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so…
[05:24.84] Yeah, whatever. Thanks
[05:25.87] Hey, I got y'all y'all ******
[05:28.00] Damn, that's some great looking ******. It's just so early
[05:31.96] Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?
[05:36.37] D-Did you just say head?
[05:38.33] Yeah. You ain't never got no head before?
[05:41.39] I mean… Just feels like… A lot, right now
[05:45.20] OK
[05:46.02] But what kind of tea do you guys have?
[05:47.34] We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, English breakfast…
[05:50.39] Actually, I'll take head
[05:52.12] I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head
[05:53.88]

Pinyin

ti: Professional Rapper
ar: Lil y
al: Professional Rapper
[00:00.00]
[00:03.31] Hello, how can I help you?
[00:05.14] Hi, my name' s Dave Burd
[00:07.32] I have an appointment today. It' s probably under " Lil y"
[00:10.86] Actually, I' m a I' m a rapper, so
[00:13.37] OK, and who are you here to see?
[00:15.71] Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here " Snoop Dogg"
[00:19.52] Oh, yeah. He' s right down the hall. First door to your right
[00:22.72] Give him a knock and he should be right with you
[00:24.71] Thanks. It' s uh, this door right here, right?
[00:27.42] Mmhmm
[00:28.28] Thank you
[00:30.41] Grab a seat
[00:31.22] Thanks I' m Dave very nice to meet
[00:33.09] Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
[00:35.04] Let me just check your sheet
[00:36.20] No problem
[00:37.00] Sir, let me just say
[00:38.07] I' m a big fan of the t that y' all make
[00:39.83] I can' t lie, I been thinking about this all day
[00:41.61] All good, there' s a reason that we called, Dave
[00:43.53] Let me start with your background
[00:44.70] Where you come from?
[00:45.44] Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
[00:47.26] Before that
[00:47.87] Oh, you talking bout my hometown?
[00:48.87] Yeah
[00:49.24] I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
[00:52.21] It was in the suburbs, uppermiddle wealth around
[00:54.03] So real t you ain' t never had to struggle for much
[00:56.00] I wouldn' t say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
[00:58.41] Elaborate
[00:59.23] Well I ain' t never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
[01:01.86] Like I was doing t I had to do so when I finished undergrad
[01:04.31] I' m cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
[01:06.37] But the job you wanted wasn' t all that bumping
[01:08.10] Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that
[01:11.02] When you been racing them rats, you ain' t been making them raps
[01:13.67] Boo hoo what a hard p
[01:15.04] How you paid to get the rap t started?
[01:16.48] Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
[01:17.59] But don' t diss me buddy, I wasn' t one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
[01:20.85] I must' ve wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
[01:22.84] Look at that, I can say there' s something to prove up in your ass
[01:25.08] Yeah, I guess
[01:25.59] That' s enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
[01:27.81] Oh my god, it' s the best
[01:29.14] let me draw up on their breasts
[01:30.34] Literally I can reinvent myself
[01:31.92] I get a forum to project myself
[01:33.28] It' s never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
[01:35.55] I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
[01:37.81] It' s kinda healthy
[01:38.56] Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
[01:40.54] Sure
[01:40.84] In a club and a couple s threaten you
[01:42.40] Uh, I wouldn' t do t
[01:44.12] And I don' t even get what that got to do with this?
[01:46.04] Shut the up, rap' s like life
[01:47.34] If you wanna do this, then you won' t get far acting like a little
[01:50.00] Nah, that' s my niche!
[01:51.11] Don' t get offended by this, but that' s the market y' all missed
[01:53.84] That' s the target I' ll hit
[01:55.18] And that' s the heart of my pitch
[01:56.48] I wanna do this whole thing different
[01:59.12] What the you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
[02:01.59] Uh, you know, II think, like, you know
[02:03.56] Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh you know, the same kind of way for a long time
[02:07.73] But traditionally speaking, this t works, right?
[02:10.27] Nah, like, I get that, but II just think that, you know
[02:12.95] You don' t know if it could be working even better
[02:15.33] And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
[02:19.02] I don' t mean any disrespect by that
[02:20.75] I' m just saying I have a different background
[02:22.18] Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
[02:26.79] So what are your biggest strengths?
[02:28.72] Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
[02:30.89] For example, I can be like ain' t nobody g with Lil y
[02:32.97] When he get up on that t and spit it sick and ridiculous
[02:34.73] Ripping this t like it' s never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
[02:37.41] Cause I can switch it, deliver this t in whatever cadence you prefer
[02:39.74] Alright, alright, I get it
[02:40.91] Top of that, lyrically I' m pretty damn clever Go
[02:42.63] Got a long bottom , called a hoe Neville Whoa
[02:44.59] And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee Oh
[02:46.43] You can say I' m pretty smart how I know better
[02:48.31] And y' all been winning like Pistorius, it' s no feat
[02:50.13] Bro, I can go on and on
[02:51.34] I' m taking over and they mad like fatherinlaws
[02:53.39] OK enough of the punchline, that ain' t showing me you different than the other guys
[02:56.59] Well I don' t know if they can run it like that
[02:58.00] But ain' t nobody else doing funny type rap
[02:59.78] What' s that?
[03:00.12] Well I can tell a story about my morning
[03:01.84] Watching Boy Meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
[03:04.52] Like the 14 year old Topanga
[03:05.83] Oh this t like a joke to you? I don' t get it
[03:07.66] Nah it ain' t like that
[03:08.49] I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual, like, as a guy
[03:11.56] So when I get up on the mic I ain' t finna just lie
[03:13.84] Real recognize real, right?
[03:15.06] Yeah, I guess. So what you trying to do?
[03:16.67] Five years from now, tell me bout the due
[03:18.61] Well, I don' t care about the money
[03:19.77] Like, it' s the respect that I' m wanting
[03:21.24] Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
[03:22.62] Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
[03:24.68] I don' t wanna leave the game the same
[03:26.00] In a nutshell, what' s your legacy?
[03:27.78] Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the standup rap
[03:30.03] Put the random rap in demand like that for the people that was antirap
[03:33.22] Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that antirap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
[03:38.03] That t sound pretty damn complex
[03:39.55] I guess, I wanna be the best
[03:40.72] I just wanna do it my way
[03:42.09] And turn the whole game sideways
[03:43.46] And show people you ain' t gotta be resigned to the highway
[03:45.53] You can make a path while these mother s drive straight
[03:47.64] I ain' t mad at that
[03:48.61] Well thanks, man, that' s my plan of my attack
[03:49.86] Just let me in and I' mma rap the plaques
[03:51.16] And I ain' t about to win them back to back
[03:52.90] I' m bout to win them like it' s back to back to back to back to back
[03:55.08] Til I stop rapping
[03:56.20] You ain' t even sold a damn album yet
[03:57.95] True
[03:58.28] That' s a lot of talk from a wily vet
[03:59.64] Let alone a young rook
[04:01.13] You misread me
[04:01.89] Nah this ain' t a book
[04:03.05] Well that' s one of my flaws, I' m too competitive dawg
[04:05.44] No, you just g repetitive dawg
[04:07.16] I get it, you trying to be better than all, but you ain' t t until cheddars involved
[04:11.11] I get that I gotta prove myself
[04:12.57] No t you ain' t done t
[04:14.06] But think about that though
[04:15.00] Only doing this a couple of years
[04:16.43] One tape and I' m like this?
[04:17.49] This t is aight for your first t
[04:19.11] But you don' t know if it' s your worst t
[04:20.41] You don' t think finding out would be worth it?
[04:22.33] It might be, it might not
[04:23.95] But I' mma put your ass to work, kid
[04:25.65] Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
[04:28.51] Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
[04:32.16] What would you do for the hook for this song?
[04:33.56] You want me to make a hook up right now?
[04:35.70] Do I look like the type of that like repeating himself?
[04:38.13] Alright, uh, okay
[04:39.32] Man do the hook!
[04:40.67] I' m bout to be professional
[04:42.50] Homie, I' m professional
[04:44.27] Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
[04:46.51] , that t is garbage man
[04:49.17] Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
[04:51.85] But I' m not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
[04:54.04] Don' t y' all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
[04:57.39] Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg t right there
[05:01.37] Yeah, you know, I' m just way better when I get to think things through
[05:04.45] Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
[05:06.80] Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?
[05:08.85] Right now?
[05:09.86] Yeah
[05:10.37] Sure
[05:11.21] . Juanita, bring some in here, please. Thank you
[05:14.02] You got it, Snoop. I' ll be right there
[05:15.69] Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
[05:18.39] , why does everything you say sound so soft?
[05:21.28] Uh, I really don' t wanna be spoken to like that, so
[05:24.84] Yeah, whatever. Thanks
[05:25.87] Hey, I got y' all y' all
[05:28.00] Damn, that' s some great looking . It' s just so early
[05:31.96] Can I get you guys anything else while I' m here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?
[05:36.37] DDid you just say head?
[05:38.33] Yeah. You ain' t never got no head before?
[05:41.39] I mean Just feels like A lot, right now
[05:45.20] OK
[05:46.02] But what kind of tea do you guys have?
[05:47.34] We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, English breakfast
[05:50.39] Actually, I' ll take head
[05:52.12] I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head
[05:53.88]