[00:00.000]Hi!  My name is.. (what?)  My name is.. (who?)
[00:04.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:07.000]Hi!  My name is.. (huh?)  My name is.. (what?)
[00:09.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:14.000]Ahem.. excuse me!
[00:18.000]Can I have the attention of the class
[00:20.000]for one second?
[00:23.000]Hi kids!  Do you like violence?  (Yeah yeah yeah!)
[00:26.000]Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids?  (Uh-huh!)
[00:29.000]Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?  (Yeah yeah!)
[00:32.000]Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is?  (Huh?)
[00:34.000]My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
[00:37.000]but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate  (Ummmm..)
[00:40.000]And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
[00:43.000]Uh-uhhh!  "So why's your face red?  Man you wasted!"
[00:46.000]Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
[00:48.000]Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
[00:51.000]Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
[00:54.000]And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
[00:57.000]I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
[00:59.000]faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
[01:02.000]C'mere slut!  (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
[01:06.000]I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!
[01:09.000]Hi!  My name is.. (what?)  My name is.. (who?)
[01:12.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[01:14.000]Hi!  My name is.. (huh?)  My name is.. (what?)
[01:18.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[01:19.000]Hi!  My name is.. (what?)  My name is.. (who?)
[01:23.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[01:25.000]Hi!  My name is.. (huh?)  My name is.. (what?)
[01:29.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[01:31.000]My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high
[01:34.000]The only problem was my English teacher was a guy
[01:37.000]I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
[01:40.000]and stapled his nuts to a stack of paper  (Owwwwwwww!)
[01:42.000]Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
[01:45.000]Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup  (Wsssshhhhh...)
[01:48.000]Extraterrestrial, killin pedestrians
[01:50.000]Rapin lesbians while they screamin: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
[01:53.000]Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
[01:56.000]I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
[01:59.000]I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
[02:02.000]Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her  (Oh thank you!)
[02:05.000]You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
[02:07.000]and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans  (Aaahhhhhh!)
[02:10.000]This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph  (Dude, can I get your autograph?)
[02:13.000]
[02:16.000]Hi!  My name is.. (what?)  My name is.. (who?)
[02:19.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[02:22.000]Hi!  My name is.. (huh?)  My name is.. (what?)
[02:26.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[02:38.000]Stop the tape!  This kid needs to be locked away!  (Get him!)
[02:41.000]Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
[02:44.000]I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
[02:47.000]I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
[02:50.000]Am I comin or goin?  I can barely decide
[02:53.000]I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive?  (Go ahead)
[02:56.000]All my life I was very deprived
[02:58.000]I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
[03:01.000]Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk  (hachhh-too)
[03:03.000]I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks  (C'mere)
[03:06.000]When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
[03:09.000]HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM?  (WAH!)  YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS!  (WAH!)
[03:13.000]I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
[03:15.000]Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head  (BANG!)
[03:18.000]I'm steamin mad  (Arrrggghhh!)
[03:19.000]And by the way when you see my dad?  (Yeah?)
[03:21.000]Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had
[03:24.000]Hi!  My name is.. (what?)  My name is.. (who?)
[03:27.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[03:29.000]Hi!  My name is.. (huh?)  My name is.. (what?)
[03:33.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[03:34.000]Hi!  My name is.. (what?)  My name is.. (who?)
[03:39.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[03:40.000]Hi!  My name is.. (huh?)  My name is.. (what?)
[03:44.000]My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady