[00:00.06]Mr. Mackey] （Eric Cartman）
[00:00.88]And everyone should get along..
[00:04.53]Okay children quiet down, quiet down
[00:07.12]Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
[00:10.60]His name is Mr. Shady
[00:14.45]Children quiet down please
[00:16.44]Brian don't throw that （SHUT UP!）
[00:17.74]Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
[00:20.03]while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia （HE'S GOT AIDS!）
[00:22.83]Good luck Mr. ShadyEminem]
[00:24.23]Hi there little boys and girls （FUCK YOU!）
[00:26.20]Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
[00:27.89]But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob （Huh?）
[00:30.70]Say hi Bob! （"Hi Bob"） Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
[00:33.85]and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
[00:36.86]but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
[00:39.31]And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
[00:41.36]and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
[00:44.02]when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
[00:47.43]Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks （AHH!）
[00:49.98]And even if they escaped and they got the cops
[00:51.99]the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
[00:54.61]'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
[00:57.11]when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
[01:00.24]But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
[01:02.60]But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
[01:05.54]Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
[01:07.57]You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
[01:10.45]He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her
[01:13.37]and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
[01:16.27]But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
[01:18.74]they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
[01:21.31]And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
[01:23.22]and what it might do to you
[01:24.89]So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you Chorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem）]See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
[01:30.46]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
[01:34.69]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
[01:37.18]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[01:40.76]So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
[01:42.95]So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
[01:45.23]Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
[01:47.29]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?Eminem]
[01:48.49]My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
[01:51.19]FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut （Huh?）
[01:53.97]Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
[01:56.43]Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
[01:58.03]If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
[02:00.17]Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
[02:02.34]and spinal fluid is vital, you won't get it back
[02:05.57]So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
[02:08.35]Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
[02:09.58]After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
[02:13.46]and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
[02:16.53]and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
[02:19.40]Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
[02:21.92]and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
[02:24.11]His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
[02:26.63]He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
[02:28.96]And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
[02:31.93]"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
[02:34.59]cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
[02:37.39]So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
[02:40.07]Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
[02:42.22]and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
[02:45.10]And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
[02:47.93]So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for youChorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem）]See children, drugs are bahhhd （that's right）
[02:53.46]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （that's right）
[02:56.06]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （you can）
[02:58.61]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[03:01.45]So kids say no to drugs （smoke crack）
[03:03.47]So you don't act like everyone else does （that's right）
[03:06.21]And there's really nothin else to say （but umm）
[03:09.11]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?Eminem]
[03:10.35]And last but not least, one of the most humungous
[03:13.67]problems among young people today, is fungus
[03:15.82]It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
[03:19.75]bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
[03:23.04]Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
[03:25.39]And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
[03:27.68]And sometimes you see things that aren't there （Like what?）
[03:30.14]Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
[03:32.15]（Mr. Shady what's a G-string?） It's yarn Claire
[03:34.48]Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em （Huh?）
[03:37.84]And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
[03:40.42]Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
[03:42.70]Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue （How come?）
[03:46.19]cause it comes from a cow's dung （Gross!!）
[03:48.49]See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
[03:50.79]But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at （Oh!）
[03:54.15]But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
[03:57.30]They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
[04:00.35]and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
[04:02.98]So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
[04:05.40]cause I'm bad for youChorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem）]See children, drugs are bahhhd （uh-huh）
[04:08.38]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （put that down）
[04:10.70]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （you can ask）
[04:13.13]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （and she will）
[04:15.55]So kids say no to drugs （say no）
[04:17.33]So you don't act like everyone else does （like I do）
[04:20.11]And there's really nothin else to say （that's right）
[04:22.33]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?Mr. Mackey] （Eric Cartman）
[04:24.86]Come on children, clap along （SHUT UP!）
[04:28.79]Sing along children （Suck my motherfuckin dick!）
[04:30.77]Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad （South Park is gonna sue me!）
[04:34.87]So don't do drugs （Suck my motherfuckin penis!）
[04:38.49]so there'll be more for me （Hippie! God damnit!）
[04:41.58]（So, fucked up, right now..）