No more mister anonymous
No more world that is Nick Bottomless
My name will be synonymous
With being on the top

I can see it now
I'm the cats meow
It's a hit- pow
It's gonna be great
Gonna be great

Everywhere I go
They will love me so
Hail my name oh
It's gonna be great
Gonna be great

Master Bottom, you're such a wonderful writer
(You really think so?)

And your talent is talent beyond compare
(Why thank you!)

You're a star, you are and you couldn't be brighter
(Now you're just embarrassing me.)

You're a real visionary
(Thank you Jesus and hail Mary!)

This Bottom's gonna be on top
This Bottom's gonna be on top
Man I'm gonna sizzle
Man I'm gonna pop
And this Bottom's gonna be on top

This is heaven sent
Feeling confident
Money well spent, it's gonna be great
Gonna be great

Throw a big parade
Praises will be made
Complimets paid, it's gonna be great
Gonna be great

Me and baby are so eternally grateful
(You're who I'm doing it for!)

Thank you for our cottage in the woods
(You deserve it!)

If gratitude were food, I'd have a big plateful
(Nice metaphor bro!)

(You're the greatest!)
(You da man!)
(I really shouldn't say it, but yes I am!)

This Bottom's gonna be on top
This Bottom's gonna be on top
Once I get going, never gonna stop and
This Bottom's going to be on top

We are the royalty of the renaissance writers
Now we're handing down the crown to you

You were a nobody, but then overnight you're someone
Better than the rest of us
Now you are the best of us

Not so fast

Hello Will
I knew you wouldn't go down without a fight

The Thompson(?) eh? thou surely doth jest
I say on my honour here I doth protest

Yawn
Rhyming that is so 1580's

Oh yeah?
Well

If you wanna make it to the top
Then you're gonna have to go through me

Coz on the top is where I live and
I will not be giving it up that easily
So there

Oh man I have been waiting
For this moment for so long
I'm gonna enjoy it when I knock you off your perch

Oh no you wont
Oh yes i will
Oh no you wont
Oh yes i will
Oh no you wont
Oh yes I will
Oh no you won't my accomplishments are much more accomplished than yours

In your dreams
I am the best

You can't be the best because I am the best
I have written twelve plays and each one is a testament to my great skill
I am the Will
I wrote the taming of the shrew
And Richard three and Richard two
And Henry's four and five and six
And Titus Andronicus
And oh did I forget,
Romeo and Juliet

Well I have just written the thing
That the critics are calling
The greatest thing they've ever seen
The people are loving it
Can't get enough of it
Everyone even including the queen

She recently invited me
To her castle where she knighted me
And privately she told me that you're
Not any good
Not any good
Not any good
Not any good

And she told me that all of your plays make her vomit
And nothing's as good as my musical omelette

Wait a minute
You wrote omelette?

Yes

I never thought that I would meet my equal
But I can see that I've been bested by the best
Maybe we could partner on a sequel

Oh my how the tide has turned
let's review what have we learned see
You were here but now we've swapped so
Kiss this Bottom I'm on the top

Yeah right where I wanna be
Yeah this Bottom's gonna be on top