The coffee at the hospital Was a low-down nasty sludge I got 19 compound fractures and I'm talking to the judge And if that judge don't bust you, I'll take you to the one that will 'cause I would not be in traction if I did not fall in love Call me a dumbell, call me a spoiled slug, I tumbled down your staircase, And I'm taking you to court. If that court don't bust you, mama, I'll take you to the one that will 'cause I would not be in traction if I did not fall in love (oh no!) I would not be on my feet, I swear by God above. My arm and first 3 fingers Are in a plaster glove I would not be in traction if I did not fall in love If that cop don't bust you baby, I'll take you to the one that will. 'cause I would not be in traction if I did not fall in love The coffee at the hospital Was a low-down nasty sludge I got 19 compound fractures, baby Talkin' to the judge If that judge don't bust you, mama I'll take you to the one that will But I would not be in traction if I did not fall in love