Do you have a girlfriend?
No. You have to be in love to have a girlfriend
Let me tell you about love
When you're in love, it feels like you're walking on water
and then you realise
Oh, hang on, I'm not walking on water
I'm actually drowning
Then a shark bites off your foot and you go, "AH! AH! MY FOOT!"
Then another shark comes along
and it goes straight for your cock and balls!
And you're going "Save me! Somebody, save me!"
Then a seagull plucks you out of the water and you think
I'm saved! I'm saved!
and then he drops you on to the jagged rocks
and you explode like a rotten watermelon
and there's blood and guts and broken bones everywhere
and you think "Well, at least it couldn't get any worse
And then that is when the hyenas come along and eat you up
and you know what you end up being then, Errol?
Do you know what you end up being then?
Just a steaming pile of hyena shit. That's love