I'm breaking my mother's heart The longer I stand looking at you The more I hear it splinter and crack From ninety miles away I'm breaking my mother's heart The JCC of Spring Valley is shaking And crumbling to the ground And my grandfather's rolling Rolling in his grave If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter If you had a shaved head, that would be cool If you came from Spain or Japan Or the back of a van Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school I'd say, \"Now I'm getting somewhere! I'm finally breaking through!\" I'd say, \"Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess! I've been waiting for someone like you\" I've been waiting through Danica Schwartz and Erica Weiss And the Handelman twins I've been waiting through Heather Greenblatt, Annie Mincus, Karen Pincus and Lisa Katz And Stacy Rosen, Ellen Kaplan, Julie Silber and Janie Stein I've had Shabbas dinners on Friday nights With every Shapiro in Washington Heights But the minute I first met you I could barely catch my breath I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand Like and idiot, scared to death I've been wandering through the desert I've been beaten, I've been hit My people have suffered for thousands of years And I don't give a sh*t! If you had a pierced tongue, that wouldn't matter If you once were in jail or you once were a man, If your mother and your brother had \"relations\" with each other And your father was connected to the Gotti clan I'd say, \"Well, nobody's perfect\" It's tragic but it's true I'd say, \"Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess! I've been waiting for someone like...\" You, breaking the circle You, taking the light You, you are the story I should write I have to write! If you drove an R.V., that wouldn't matter If you like to drink blood, I think it's cute If you've got a powerful connection to your firearm collection I'd say, Draw a bead and shoot I'm your Hebrew slave, at your service Just tell me what to do I say, \"Hey hey hey hey! I've been waiting for someone I've been praying for someone I think that I could be in love with someone Like You\"