My girl went to the doctor
'cause her heart had palpitations
He said cut the carbs,
or else she'd end up pushing up carnations
She stepped up on the scale
 and the doctor said, \"Oh Lordy
If you don't drop a few, girl,
you won't make it past age forty\"
My girl said, \"Hey lookie,
on that fancy x-ray chart\"
Said the doctor, \"Holy hell,
that's one G.D. big ass heart\"
I'm telling you my friend,
my girl's got a big ass heart
When she shops for groceries
that heart gets its own damn cart
That big ass heart
can pump two tons of love through her chest
And then sit down and win a lovin' pie-eating contest
I love that big ass heart so much I think it isn't fair
Like how your heart won't pay me back for breaking all my chairs
So sick with love I think I'm coming down with rickets
When that big ass heart flies coach it has to pay for two plane tickets
Oh, that big ass heart
Oh, that big ass heart