Help wanted
Do you wanna pay the bills?
Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real?
Fill out an application
Just be patient,
You know the drill
Help wanted
Do you wanna pay the bills?
Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real?
Fill out an application
Just be patient,
You know the drill
As a veteran, I was settling into a life of self-pity
Living with my mother in my favorite city
She started getting on my case about wasting my life
I missed the action of the Air Force and the feeling of flight
"Get a job", she demanded, so I picked up the paper
Saw an ad that wasn't bad, at least it wasn't a waiter
I was trained in computers, I was fit and athletic
I was tired of being a loser and of feeling pathetic
So I went and interviewed; I was a dude without options
The more questions she asked, the more my mind flashed "caution"
Do you believe in UFOs? Yeah, I've had my fair share
Clairvoyance, ESP, do you believe in what isn't there?
When they let us in the lockers I was honestly scared
But I was desperate and upset with just chilling in chairs
So I said, "The pay is steady, then I'm willing and able"
She said, "You're hired." I was wired, I was suddenly stable
Help wanted
Do you wanna pay the bills?
Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real?
Fill out an application
Just be patient,
You know the drill
Help wanted
Do you wanna pay the bills?
Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real?
Fill out an application
Just be patient,
You know the drill
I met the dudes in my crew, they were slimy and stinky
Took my down in the basement, showed me a really big Twinkie
I started thinking the back of the Bible was entirely right
I started seeing crazy shit that'll turn you white
The dead rising from the grave, this is totally the end of days
At least I was getting paid in spite of my mental state
Better than telling fortunes on Coney Island with a cape
Better than birthday parties where I wasn't offered any cake
No occupation's perfect, I'm determined and devoted
Fought a god in a painting and a spectral locomotive
Sometimes there's slime and violence, the kind I cannot handle
But I'm about to [...] smiles and settles
God is watching over me, protecting me from danger
Sometimes it's up to me to bust a beast with lightning lasers
I have tools, I have talent, it's a challenge when you're chosen
But I was born to bust a ghost, and all those chumps who oppose us
Help wanted
Do you wanna pay the bills?
Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real?
Fill out an application
Just be patient,
You know the drill
Help wanted
Do you wanna pay the bills?
Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real?
Fill out an application
Just be patient,
You know the drill
Help wanted
Help wanted
Help wanted
Help wanted
Help wanted