| [00:01.625] |
Oh my God! I can' t believe my little brother is married! |
| [00:04.447] |
Oh I know!! |
| [00:07.880] |
You guys, why didn' t you tell me you were eloping? |
| [00:10.145] |
' Cause it just sorta happened, y' know we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch |
| [00:13.360] |
Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse? |
| [00:15.616] |
We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like, |
| [00:19.923] |
" Hey! Y' know, we' re here, having lunch let' s get married! |
| [00:23.687] |
Wow, a year and a half ago I didn' t even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. |
| [00:35.631] |
Okay. Okay. |
| [00:39.879] |
Stop it, don' t. |
| [00:43.013] |
So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need? |
| [00:46.608] |
Uhh, yeah. |
| [00:50.125] |
We' ve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, |
| [00:54.163] |
we thought we' d get a jump on things, |
| [00:55.793] |
y' know no one' s getting any younger. |
| [00:59.327] |
See the thing is umm, we' re not able to y' know, uh, conceive. |
| [01:04.122] |
And we' ve tried everything, we' ve seen a bunch of doctors. |
| [01:06.184] |
Yeah, and theyand they say that ourthat our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, |
| [01:10.971] |
her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. |
| [01:16.764] |
So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into. |
| [01:24.592] |
That' s a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat |
| [02:19.006] |
Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! Guess which job I got. |
| [02:24.936] |
I don' t know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black. |
| [02:30.611] |
What? |
| [02:31.621] |
Blue blazer back. Hehe wants it back. |
| [02:35.873] |
But youyou said black. Why would he want his blue blazer black? |
| [02:41.097] |
Well, youyou know what I meant. |
| [02:43.269] |
No, you messed it up. You' re stupid. |
| [02:50.456] |
So what job did you get Joe? |
| [02:52.666] |
Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me. |
| [02:55.279] |
Well, how can you be a tour guide, don' t you have to be a dinosaur expert or something? |
| [02:58.950] |
No, not really. They give you all the information, it' s uh, it' s like memorizing a script. |
| [03:03.329] |
" And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period. |
| [03:08.161] |
Great!! That' s great! |
| [03:10.185] |
Uh actually Joey, it' s the Cretasous period. |
| [03:15.050] |
Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic. |
| [03:18.267] |
Hey!! Hey! |
| [03:19.650] |
Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married! |
| [03:22.556] |
Oh my God!! |
| [03:24.040] |
And! And, they' re gonna have a baby! |
| [03:27.121] |
And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. |
| [03:34.247] |
My God! |
| [03:35.426] |
Are you serious? |
| [03:36.565] |
Yeah |
| [03:37.444] |
You' re really thinking about having sex with your brother?! |
| [03:43.842] |
Ewww! And " Oh no!" It' s they just want me to be the surrogate. |
| [03:48.843] |
It' s herit' s her egg and her sperm, and I' mI' m just the oven, it' s totally their bun. |
| [03:54.492] |
What did you tell them? |
| [03:55.817] |
Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? |
| [03:59.620] |
I' m gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give. |
| [04:03.313] |
You' re gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station? |
| [04:08.722] |
Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about. |
| [04:14.193] |
Yeah, like you' re gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant. I know! |
| [04:20.528] |
Pheebs, you' re talking about putting your body through an awful lot, |
| [04:23.484] |
I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and it' s all for somebody else! |
| [04:28.845] |
Yeah, what' s your point? |
| [04:31.409] |
Well, the stuff I just mentioned. |
| [04:35.063] |
Wow! I don' t know if I could ever do that. |
| [04:37.085] |
I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper. |
| [04:45.632] |
Y' know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture. |
| [04:50.056] |
No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, we' ll be supportive like crazy. Yeah. |
| [04:54.107] |
We just want you to think it through. |
| [04:55.617] |
Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody who' s had a baby. Like your mom? |
| [04:58.935] |
My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did. |
| [05:08.744] |
Umm, I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me? |
| [05:13.838] |
Oh, yeah, sure, it' s not mine anyway. It can with the pants. Oh! |
| [05:22.774] |
I am so jealous. |
| [05:24.275] |
You guys are really right there aren' t you? |
| [05:26.987] |
Yes. Right where? |
| [05:31.410] |
In the beginning where y' know it' s all sex and talking and sex and talking and |
| [05:38.180] |
Yeah, youyou gotta love the talking. |
| [05:41.871] |
And the sex? |
| [05:42.694] |
All right, we haven' t had sex yet. Okay, what' s the big deal? |
| [05:46.190] |
Y' know? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level. |
| [05:51.699] |
Oh, Chandler that is so nice. |
| [05:53.964] |
That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason! |
| [06:00.773] |
Why? Just because you' re not mature enough to understand something like that?! |
| [06:04.538] |
No, he' s right, I' m totally lying. |
| [06:11.460] |
Then what is it? |
| [06:12.556] |
Well, Kathy' s last boyfriend was Joey. |
| [06:15.669] |
And you' re afraid you won' t be able to fill his shoes. |
| [06:22.162] |
No, I' m afraid I won' t be able to make love as well as him. |
| [06:25.987] |
Yeah, I was going for the metaphor. |
| [06:27.824] |
Yes, and I was saying the actual words. |
| [06:31.738] |
So big deal, so Joey' s had a lot of girlfriends, it doesn' t mean he' s great in bed. |
| [06:35.427] |
We share a wall! So either he' s great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot. |
| [06:44.282] |
Sweetie, with you it' s gonna be different. |
| [06:46.101] |
The sex is gonna be great, ' cause youyou guys are in love. |
| [06:49.953] |
Yeah? Yeah! |
| [06:51.336] |
Just go for it Chandler. |
| [06:53.346] |
Yeah, you should. |
| [06:53.638] |
Yeah, you should, really. |
| [06:53.909] |
Go on. |
| [06:54.810] |
All right, all right, I' ll go sleep with my girlfriend. But I' m just doing it for you guys. |
| [07:03.196] |
Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semilate Jurassic period. |
| [07:09.065] |
Isn' t the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic? |
| [07:12.129] |
Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, we have a large foot. |
| [07:23.145] |
Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. Everyone wave ' Hi' to Ross. |
| [07:30.082] |
Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. |
| [07:37.911] |
Okay, moving right along. Come on. |
| [07:44.535] |
It' s open! Come in! |
| [07:46.774] |
Hi! |
| [07:47.840] |
I' m sorry, I' m late. |
| [07:48.822] |
Oh, that' s okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples. |
| [07:53.375] |
Wow! You really go all out when you' re expecting company. |
| [07:57.369] |
No, I was working on my pottery. |
| [07:59.025] |
Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didn' t know that you did pot. |
| [08:06.437] |
Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica. |
| [08:11.493] |
Ooh, erotiery! |
| [08:12.673] |
Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. |
| [08:16.990] |
I justI just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Y' know |
| [08:21.087] |
Okay. |
| [08:23.492] |
I really don' t think it' s a very good idea, Phoebe. |
| [08:26.722] |
Why not? |
| [08:28.035] |
Well, because you' d be giving up a baby, and II really don' t |
| [08:32.625] |
I don' t know if there' s anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. |
| [08:38.517] |
So, umm, |
| [08:42.816] |
Oh no! Nono! I understand the pain! Don' tdon' t hurt the puppy. |
| [08:47.449] |
Nonono, thethe puppy' s yours. |
| [08:49.591] |
Oh, I get a puppy!! |
| [08:50.965] |
Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days. |
| [08:53.705] |
Why? |
| [08:56.175] |
I realise I don' t have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, |
| [09:01.890] |
but umm, uhh |
| [09:07.997] |
Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, it' s very important. |
| [09:11.317] |
Okay. |
| [09:12.474] |
I mean, I know what I' m talking about. I gave up two babies, |
| [09:17.459] |
and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, |
| [09:20.533] |
that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. |
| [09:25.796] |
I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. |
| [09:31.691] |
So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, |
| [09:35.791] |
it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. |
| [09:42.218] |
I really shouldn' t have given you the puppy first. |
| [09:45.320] |
All right, I' m sorry. |
| [09:51.366] |
Uhh, do you mind sitting there. I' mI' m saving this for my friend Ross. |
| [09:53.510] |
You mean Dr. Geller? |
| [09:55.469] |
Doctor? Wow! I didn' t know he had a nickname. |
| [09:59.303] |
Oh, he won' t sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, |
| [10:03.567] |
and only the people in the blue blazers sit here. |
| [10:07.157] |
Well, howhow come? |
| [10:08.449] |
That' s just the way it is. |
| [10:09.730] |
That' s crazy. |
| [10:12.045] |
Maybe it' s crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, |
| [10:17.051] |
but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. |
| [10:22.560] |
See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now |
| [10:29.547] |
Peter! Hey, Peter! It' s me Rhonda! From PS129! I shared my puddin' which you man! |
| [10:41.119] |
I gave you my Snack Pack! See, he pretend he don' t even here me! |
| [10:49.965] |
II think everybody' s pretending they don' t hear you. |
| [10:54.161] |
Anyway, look, I don' t know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, |
| [10:57.594] |
but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, I' m telling you, he will sit in it! |
| [11:04.713] |
Ross! Ross! Over here, man! II saved you seat. |
| [11:11.206] |
That' s okay, I' m cool over here. I' ll catch up with you later, Joey. |
| [11:18.314] |
Op, this is saved. Gift shop. |
| [11:30.998] |
Hey, uh, I' m really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today. |
| [11:36.584] |
It' s no big deal. Hey, y' know, you do what you gotta do. Right? |
| [11:39.034] |
But hey, it' s not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together. |
| [11:45.028] |
Whatever. |
| [11:46.079] |
It' s like that everywhere, Joey! |
| [11:47.692] |
Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? |
| [11:52.065] |
And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right? |
| [11:55.003] |
I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me. |
| [12:01.057] |
Look, Ross, really it' sit' s no big deal. |
| [12:04.550] |
Y' know you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we can' t be friends at work, then so be it. |
| [12:10.048] |
Y' know, hey I understand. Y' know? Hey, when I' m in a play and you' re in the audience, I don' t talk to you, right? |
| [12:17.909] |
So it' s y' know, it' s uh, it' s cool. I' ll see you tomorrow. |
| [12:24.545] |
Yeah, when we' re in the audience he doesn' t talk to us, but he does wave. |
| [12:36.733] |
Hi. Hey! |
| [12:40.265] |
Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden? |
| [12:44.410] |
Ooh, y' know what, I think it' s time for puppy to go out again. |
| [12:47.681] |
Come on, let' s go to the balcony. |
| [12:49.129] |
What?! |
| [12:50.140] |
Umm, the street. Come on, let' s go to the street. |
| [12:53.006] |
Ooh, listen, don' t go onto the balcony until after I get back. |
| [12:58.872] |
So, did you do it? |
| [13:00.671] |
Yes, yes, we had the sex. |
| [13:03.666] |
Uhoh, it was bad? |
| [13:05.447] |
It was fine, y' know? But she didn' t agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey. |
| [13:12.020] |
She was more like, " I see you point, I' m all right with it." |
| [13:16.336] |
Well, it was the first time. |
| [13:17.909] |
Y' know, there' s not always a lot of agreement the first time. |
| [13:20.804] |
Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree like that. |
| [13:25.410] |
Look, you have to help me! Okay? |
| [13:27.630] |
I mean, I know what to do with a woman, y' know, I know where everything goes, it' s always nice. |
| [13:33.467] |
But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, " My God! Somebody' s killing her in there!" |
| [13:40.739] |
All right, I' m gonna show you something a lot of guys don' t know. Rach, give me that pad, please? |
| [13:45.650] |
All right. Now |
| [13:48.489] |
Look, you don' t have to draw an actual wo whoa! She' s hot! |
| [13:53.585] |
Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. |
| [13:56.130] |
You got one, two three, four, five, six, and seven! |
| [14:02.979] |
There are seven?! |
| [14:05.316] |
Let me see that. Oh, yeah. |
| [14:11.079] |
That' s one? |
| [14:12.714] |
It' s kind of an important one! |
| [14:15.459] |
Oh, y' knowy' know what, I was looking at it upside down. |
| [14:20.285] |
Well, y' know, sometimes that helps. |
| [14:27.651] |
Now, most guys will hit uh, 123 and then go to 7 and set up camp. |
| [14:34.398] |
Thatthat' s bad? |
| [14:35.632] |
Well if you go to Disneyland, you don' t spend the whole day on the Materhorn. |
| [14:39.877] |
Well you might if it were anything like 7! |
| [14:43.898] |
All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, |
| [14:48.187] |
you want to hit ' em all, and you mix ' em up. You gotta keep them on their toes. |
| [14:52.613] |
Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. |
| [15:01.918] |
All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 123, 3, 5, |
| [15:15.000] |
a 4, a 32, 2, a 246, 246, 4, 2, 2, 47, 57, 67, |
| [15:30.813] |
7, 7.. 7 777777777777 mouths 7! |
| [15:51.733] |
Dr. Geller, there' s a seat over here. |
| [15:54.884] |
Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but I' m having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. |
| [16:03.113] |
I' m having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, |
| [16:08.675] |
if he' ll sit with me. |
| [16:15.564] |
I will sit with you Dr. Geller. |
| [16:22.320] |
Y' know, we work in a museum of natural history, |
| [16:27.769] |
and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. |
| [16:35.522] |
Now, I look around this cafeteria, and y' know what I see, I seeI see division. |
| [16:40.063] |
Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, " My God why?!" |
| [16:49.445] |
Now, I say we shed thesethese coats that separate us, |
| [16:55.191] |
and we get to know the people underneath. |
| [17:01.268] |
I' m Ross! I' m divorced, and I have a kid! |
| [17:11.633] |
I' m Joey! I' m an actor! |
| [17:14.649] |
I don' t know squat about dinosaurs! |
| [17:19.767] |
I' m Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me. |
| [17:24.892] |
All right, there you go! |
| [17:26.192] |
Yeah, you hang in there Teddy! |
| [17:28.893] |
I' m Andrew, and I didn' t pay for this pear. |
| [17:35.265] |
Okay, goodgood for you. |
| [17:37.696] |
I' m Rhonda, and these aren' t real! |
| [17:46.052] |
Wow, Rhonda. |
| [17:49.699] |
I' m Scott. |
| [17:50.596] |
Yeah, okay, Scott! |
| [17:53.049] |
And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die. |
| [18:03.141] |
My mom' s gonna be here any minute. I can' t do this, I can' t give him up. |
| [18:08.060] |
Yes no, I can. I don' t want to. |
| [18:12.161] |
But I can. No. |
| [18:16.305] |
Oo, I can' t watch this, it' s like Sophie' s Choice. |
| [18:20.482] |
Y' know, I never saw that. |
| [18:22.642] |
Ooh, it was only okay. |
| [18:25.677] |
Ooh, I can' t do this. My mom was right. |
| [18:29.335] |
If I can' tif I can' t give him up, then |
| [18:32.319] |
there' s no way I can give up a baby. |
| [18:35.208] |
Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. |
| [18:38.601] |
Whatwhat else, what else can I give ' em a kidney! |
| [18:43.945] |
Hi! |
| [18:46.216] |
Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so |
| [18:48.497] |
Yeah, so we just thought we' d stop by and let you know there' s still no pressure. |
| [18:52.643] |
None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, we' re just gonna be right over there having coffee. |
| [18:58.699] |
Okay. |
| [18:59.924] |
Oh, who' s this little guy?! |
| [19:01.679] |
Oh! Ooh! Umm! |
| [19:04.645] |
Oh, he' s so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour. |
| [19:11.272] |
You are so precious, I could just take you home. |
| [19:15.339] |
Hey, why don' t you? |
| [19:17.013] |
Are you serious? |
| [19:18.072] |
Uhhuh, yeah! |
| [19:19.962] |
Oh, thanks. |
| [19:24.305] |
What are you doing? |
| [19:25.588] |
No, I' m really okay with this. Y' know why? |
| [19:28.968] |
' Cause look at them, look how happy they are, and I made that, |
| [19:32.638] |
so y' know. I know it' s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, |
| [19:39.660] |
oh my God, it' s gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. |
| [19:46.291] |
I wanna carry your baby. |
| [19:48.705] |
Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You don' t know what this means to us! Oh! |
| [19:58.782] |
Oh my God, I think I' m gonna cry! |
| [20:06.196] |
It' s gonna be so great. |
| [20:09.592] |
Hi! What' s going on? |
| [20:11.814] |
Oh, II gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided I' m gonna carry their baby. |
| [20:17.979] |
But Phoebe |
| [20:18.863] |
Nonono, I know, but you and I are different people though, |
| [20:21.890] |
and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this. |
| [20:27.198] |
Oh, III understand all that, but it' s just that was my puppy. |
| [20:32.192] |
Oh! |
| [20:38.286] |
Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone? |
| [20:40.493] |
It depends on who asked. |
| [20:42.251] |
What if I asked? |
| [20:44.030] |
Oh, Mon, sure. |
| [20:46.373] |
Really? |
| [20:47.071] |
Yes. You' re not asking are you? |
| [20:54.132] |
No. |
| [20:54.725] |
Yes! Totally! |
| [20:58.257] |
Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! |