| [00:03.75] |
Hey Joey, how' d the audition go? Incredible! |
| [00:06.22] |
I met the director this time and you' ll never believe who it was. |
| [00:09.02] |
Who? All right. I' ll give you one hint. |
| [00:12.29] |
Warren Beatty. |
| [00:15.76] |
Yeah, there' s just one thing that might be kind' ve a problem. |
| [00:19.30] |
See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy. |
| [00:21.87] |
' Cause he was just so darn cute. |
| [00:29.47] |
Well, hey. You' re an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. |
| [00:37.85] |
Or you just do it. |
| [00:40.42] |
I did do it, I' m a professional. |
| [00:42.32] |
Then what' s the problem? |
| [00:43.39] |
See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says |
| [00:46.56] |
' good actor, bad kisser'. " |
| [00:49.13] |
Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, |
| [00:52.60] |
that' s like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother. |
| [00:58.44] |
Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing Ooh. |
| [01:07.61] |
The One With Barry And Mindy' s Wedding |
| [01:15.87] |
|
| [01:56.86] |
Hey, what did your agent say? |
| [01:58.53] |
Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. |
| [02:04.04] |
Man, I gotta figure out what I' m doing wrong. |
| [02:06.67] |
Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me. |
| [02:09.74] |
What, forget it! Yeah, right. |
| [02:12.21] |
Come on, I need your help here. |
| [02:14.35] |
All right. I' ll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again. |
| [02:18.25] |
You see this, this is a friend. |
| [02:20.69] |
Uhhuh, let' s go. |
| [02:22.52] |
Oh, wait I have gum. |
| [02:25.76] |
Okay. |
| [02:35.40] |
Good, very good, firm but tender. |
| [02:38.07] |
I' d recommend you to a friend. |
| [02:41.67] |
Then I don' t know what it is. What' s the problem? |
| [02:43.81] |
Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, |
| [02:46.38] |
maybe you just tensed up a little, |
| [02:48.65] |
maybe that' s what you need to work on. |
| [02:50.72] |
Yeah, that makes sense. |
| [02:57.89] |
Over my dead body! |
| [03:03.29] |
And I' ll be using his dead body as a shield. |
| [03:10.77] |
Come on out, honey! I' m telling you look good! |
| [03:13.91] |
Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good. |
| [03:22.31] |
Oh my God, |
| [03:26.45] |
you look so good! |
| [03:29.82] |
I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people |
| [03:34.13] |
looking like something you drink when your nauseous. |
| [03:38.30] |
So don' t, I don' t see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it' s your exfiancee' s wedding. |
| [03:43.60] |
Because I promised Mindy I would. |
| [03:45.87] |
Yeah, well you promised Barry, you' d marry him. |
| [03:50.74] |
Look you guys, I have to go, I' m the MaidofHonor. |
| [03:53.84] |
And besides you know what I just need |
| [03:56.15] |
to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself. |
| [04:08.43] |
Oohoh! Someone' s wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action? |
| [04:12.43] |
I may have. Woohoo, stuud! |
| [04:16.37] |
What' s she look like? Well, we haven' t exactly met, |
| [04:18.64] |
we just stayed up all night talking on the internet. |
| [04:22.31] |
Woohoo, geeek! |
| [04:24.94] |
I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, |
| [04:28.11] |
you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy... |
| [04:31.85] |
|
| [04:34.12] |
Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said,' cut it out, get real', |
| [04:39.36] |
and I did. |
| [04:42.56] |
Wow! What' s that like? |
| [04:45.70] |
It' s like this, |
| [04:47.16] |
me, no jokes. |
| [04:50.64] |
All right, stop it, you' re freaking me out. |
| [04:57.17] |
All right, I' ll see you guys later. Bye, Richard. |
| [05:01.05] |
Bye sweetie, |
| [05:02.48] |
I love you. I love you, too. |
| [05:12.12] |
I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, |
| [05:16.03] |
I wonder what our wedding' s gonna be like. |
| [05:19.73] |
What are you talking about? What wedding? |
| [05:22.17] |
Come on, like you never talk about that. |
| [05:24.44] |
Nooo! Never! |
| [05:26.50] |
I mean, we' re living in the moment. |
| [05:28.91] |
God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on ' Where is this going?' |
| [05:33.28] |
Afraid to ask him? Could not be more terrified. |
| [05:36.65] |
Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, |
| [05:39.58] |
give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum. |
| [05:47.73] |
Where' s Benny? |
| [05:49.23] |
There he is! |
| [05:50.76] |
Where' s Benny, |
| [05:53.03] |
there he is. |
| [05:57.17] |
Awww! You know that' s probably why babies learn to talk, |
| [05:59.50] |
so they can tell grown ups to cut it out. |
| [06:03.84] |
Hey, you know I got a question for you. Just a little thing, no pressure. |
| [06:08.48] |
Okay. |
| [06:10.85] |
Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future? |
| [06:15.42] |
Sure I do. |
| [06:17.72] |
Yeah, am I in it? |
| [06:19.79] |
Honey, you are it. |
| [06:23.46] |
Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky. |
| [06:31.70] |
Keep talkin'. |
| [06:32.84] |
Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, |
| [06:38.64] |
we could move to France, |
| [06:41.71] |
make French toast. |
| [06:44.88] |
Okay, so, uh, we' re in France, |
| [06:49.62] |
we' re making the toast. |
| [06:52.86] |
Do you see a little bassinet in the corner? |
| [06:56.56] |
Like a hound? |
| [07:00.20] |
Not a basset, a bassinet. |
| [07:05.74] |
You really need the bassinet? |
| [07:08.71] |
Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. |
| [07:14.38] |
Do you, uh, do you, do you not see kids in our future. |
| [07:17.35] |
Oh, hey, I love children, |
| [07:21.52] |
I have children. |
| [07:23.62] |
I just don' t want to be 70 |
| [07:25.12] |
when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start. |
| [07:32.56] |
Look I want you, now. |
| [07:38.37] |
That' s Great. |
| [07:40.54] |
You know we don' t need to talk about this now. |
| [07:42.41] |
Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, |
| [07:46.74] |
I' m talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet. |
| [07:54.69] |
Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. |
| [07:58.56] |
Just one kiss, I won' t tell anyone. |
| [08:01.33] |
Joey, no means no! |
| [08:08.73] |
I' m sorry we, we don' t have your sheep. |
| [08:15.81] |
Aww, Rach, I think you look cute |
| [08:19.28] |
And you, uh, you, |
| [08:22.21] |
you I could eat with a spoon Get away from me I said no! |
| [08:28.52] |
Richard buzzed. He' s waiting downstairs. Oh, Richard' s here. |
| [08:31.39] |
I should run down say bye to him |
| [08:41.20] |
So how' s your date with your cyberchick going. |
| [08:43.50] |
Ooh, hey, what is all that? |
| [08:48.17] |
See, she likes art, |
| [08:51.08] |
and I like funny words. |
| [08:54.58] |
|
| [08:57.38] |
It means we' re holding hands. |
| [09:01.42] |
Are you the cutest? |
| [09:03.09] |
I' m afraid I might just be. |
| [09:07.89] |
You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person |
| [09:11.73] |
and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, |
| [09:17.13] |
or. It could be a guy. |
| [09:19.87] |
Okay, it' s not a guy, all right, I know her. |
| [09:28.35] |
Man, I got this close to him and Monica kneed me in the back. |
| [09:33.75] |
What' s going on? |
| [09:37.76] |
Oh, well. Just ask her how long she' s gonna live. |
| [09:40.32] |
Women live longer than men. |
| [09:45.90] |
How do you not fall down more? |
| [09:49.80] |
Okay, ask her ' What is her current method of birth control?' |
| [09:53.44] |
All right. |
| [09:58.31] |
" My husband is sleeping with his secretary." " |
| [10:02.28] |
She' s married! |
| [10:04.78] |
Well at least we know she' s a woman. |
| [10:09.09] |
I can' t believe she' s married. |
| [10:11.29] |
Aw, man I' m sorry. |
| [10:15.29] |
This must be very tough for ya, huh. |
| [10:21.60] |
So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you' re not supposed to throw rice at weddings, |
| [10:26.94] |
because when pigeons eat rice it kills them. |
| [10:29.21] |
Oh, that' s why you never see pigeons at sushi bars. |
| [10:34.04] |
See, we' re having fun. Oh, absolutely. |
| [10:37.82] |
Yeah, you know I' m not even thinking about that thing that we' re not going to be thinking about. |
| [10:41.39] |
Neither am I. |
| [10:43.52] |
Hi, there. Are you all right? |
| [10:46.06] |
Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, |
| [10:50.93] |
and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn' t be here, you know I shouldn' t, |
| [10:54.23] |
people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time. |
| [10:58.54] |
Sweetie, it' s be gonna okay, all right. It' s a wedding, |
| [11:01.24] |
generally people focus on the bride. |
| [11:04.21] |
God I know, you' re right. |
| [11:05.24] |
All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. |
| [11:08.01] |
All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let' s see two lines, thank you. |
| [11:14.28] |
Okay, I' ll see you after the thing. |
| [11:16.12] |
Okay, good luck Thank you |
| [11:29.13] |
Why the hell didn' t you tell me! |
| [11:30.83] |
I' m sorry. What was I supposed to do |
| [11:32.37] |
stand up and shout ' Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!' |
| [11:35.71] |
Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. |
| [11:37.91] |
I think the only thing that tops that was, was, |
| [11:41.58] |
was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. |
| [11:45.05] |
I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. |
| [11:47.82] |
Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes. |
| [11:49.82] |
Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn' t so bad. |
| [11:52.89] |
Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I' m dating you. |
| [11:57.43] |
Rachel! |
| [11:59.16] |
Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg. |
| [12:01.37] |
It' s so wonderful to see you again, my dear, |
| [12:03.90] |
in fact I hardly expected to see so much. |
| [12:09.14] |
You told me you didn' t see anything. |
| [12:11.14] |
I tell ya a lot things! |
| [12:13.74] |
Well it' s wonderful to have you up and about, again, dear. |
| [12:17.85] |
Stay well. |
| [12:20.58] |
Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today. |
| [12:24.72] |
Rach! Rach! |
| [12:27.49] |
Oh my God, I' m married! I know. |
| [12:30.13] |
I' m Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber. |
| [12:33.23] |
Oh honey, I' m so proud of you, Min. |
| [12:35.93] |
Min. |
| [12:37.87] |
Oh Rach, you' re still here, |
| [12:39.77] |
at our wedding, they were packing up the chopped liver about now. |
| [12:43.41] |
Yeah, I love that story. |
| [12:46.84] |
Um, I got a question for you guys. |
| [12:48.58] |
Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about? |
| [12:52.32] |
Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, |
| [12:55.19] |
Barry' s parents told people that you were sort of.... insane. |
| [13:00.79] |
Insane! |
| [13:02.16] |
... from the syphilis. |
| [13:04.03] |
What? |
| [13:06.26] |
Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn' t love me anymore. Come on. |
| [13:11.94] |
Angela? Joey Tribiani. |
| [13:15.37] |
Listen, what are ya doing tonight? |
| [13:18.81] |
I know your seeing that guy, I was thinking maybe you could bring him..... |
| [13:22.85] |
Hello? Hello? |
| [13:35.59] |
Aren' t you gonna answer her, that' s like the tenth bingbong message she sent. |
| [13:39.56] |
She wants to know what' s wrong? What' s wrong? What' s wrong? |
| [13:41.63] |
You' re married that' s what' s wrong. |
| [13:46.94] |
Oh, my. What? |
| [13:49.44] |
She wants to meet you in person. |
| [13:51.18] |
Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, |
| [13:54.04] |
okay, but she' s married, she has a husband. |
| [13:56.65] |
What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. |
| [14:00.52] |
I mean you don' t get chances like this all the time, |
| [14:02.89] |
if you don' t meet her now, you' re gonna be kicking yourself |
| [14:05.39] |
when your 80, which is hard to do, and that' s how you break a hip. |
| [14:10.79] |
Okay, I' ll do it! |
| [14:12.83] |
Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! |
| [14:14.63] |
Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! |
| [14:18.80] |
Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower,' cause, eww. |
| [14:22.37] |
No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. |
| [14:25.34] |
No, no, you know what make some coffee ' cause its too much. |
| [14:33.08] |
Okay, one more, please. Come on, I' m gonna get it in this time, I will. |
| [14:36.59] |
Okay, last chance. |
| [14:44.23] |
Again, I' m sorry. |
| [14:50.23] |
You know what, maybe I don' t need to have children. |
| [14:53.87] |
You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, |
| [14:57.84] |
and by that I mean my mom, |
| [15:01.14] |
has always convinced me that I... |
| [15:07.78] |
I do, |
| [15:09.45] |
I have to have children, I' m sorry. I just do. |
| [15:14.46] |
Yo! Can I have your attention, please, |
| [15:17.39] |
Best Man, making a toast here. |
| [15:19.83] |
Thank you. |
| [15:22.33] |
I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel... |
| [15:28.91] |
|
| [15:29.91] |
What, you hired the same band I can' t use the same speech. |
| [15:33.58] |
Thank you, thank you very much. |
| [15:36.38] |
Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. |
| [15:41.08] |
And Rachel... |
| [15:46.02] |
its not a lot of women would' ve had the guts to come back here tonight, |
| [15:49.13] |
and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! |
| [16:00.04] |
Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that... |
| [16:02.37] |
Why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding? |
| [16:05.81] |
Most of you don' t know me, I' m Rachel' s boyfriend. |
| [16:09.91] |
Oh dear God. |
| [16:12.25] |
Ross, |
| [16:13.55] |
uh and uh, I' d just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. |
| [16:21.02] |
And, uh, for the record |
| [16:23.43] |
she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. |
| [16:29.77] |
What are you doing I' m serious. |
| [16:33.17] |
Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn' t love him, |
| [16:40.38] |
which incidentally worked out pretty well for me |
| [16:50.82] |
Cheers! |
| [16:53.26] |
See you in the parking lot. No, Rach! |
| [16:58.66] |
And once again she is out of here. |
| [17:01.43] |
|
| [17:17.28] |
Ya, know what Barr, I' m not gonna leave. |
| [17:20.42] |
I probably should, but I' m not, |
| [17:23.69] |
see ' cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least one of your weddings. |
| [17:31.86] |
See now, tonight, all I really wanted was |
| [17:34.43] |
to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. |
| [17:40.77] |
Well, I guess we can all agree that' s not gonna happen. |
| [17:47.91] |
There' s nothing really left to say except.... |
| [17:59.49] |
" Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. |
| [18:07.56] |
With yellow feathers, feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. |
| [18:15.14] |
|
| [18:16.84] |
Marenge, "... marenge, thank you honey, |
| [18:19.54] |
and do the chacha. |
| [18:22.35] |
And while she like to be a star, Tony always tended bar. |
| [18:27.28] |
At the, wait, wait, everybody. |
| [18:29.69] |
|
| [18:33.39] |
|
| [18:36.83] |
|
| [18:38.73] |
|
| [18:41.23] |
|
| [18:52.48] |
Okay, I' ll do it. |
| [18:56.38] |
You' ll do what? |
| [18:57.41] |
If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is. |
| [19:01.55] |
Oh my God! |
| [19:03.25] |
If I have to I' ll, I' ll do all again, |
| [19:05.76] |
I' ll do the 4 o' clock feeding thing, |
| [19:08.19] |
I' ll go to the P. T. A. meetings, |
| [19:10.33] |
I' ll coach the soccer team. |
| [19:13.16] |
Really? Yeah, if I have to. |
| [19:16.83] |
Monica, |
| [19:20.77] |
I don' t wanna lose you, |
| [19:23.27] |
so if I have to do it all over again, then I will. |
| [19:31.15] |
You' re the most wonderful man. |
| [19:36.00] |
And if you hadn' t of said ' if I have to' like seventeen times, |
| [19:42.89] |
then I' d be saying ' okay, let' s do it.' |
| [19:47.66] |
But you' re not. |
| [19:51.74] |
Oh my God, |
| [19:54.77] |
I can' t believe what I' m getting ready to say. |
| [20:00.51] |
I wanna have a baby, |
| [20:05.75] |
but I don' t wanna have one with someone who doesn' t really wanna have one. |
| [20:12.62] |
God. |
| [20:19.60] |
I love you. |
| [20:30.57] |
Me too. |
| [20:39.08] |
So what now? |
| [20:42.65] |
I guess we just |
| [20:45.59] |
keep dancing. |
| [21:04.07] |
Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she? |
| [21:13.68] |
Ooh, oh, oh, that' s her. |
| [21:14.82] |
Yeah,' cause life' s just that kind. |
| [21:18.62] |
Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It' s like a watched pot, |
| [21:22.36] |
you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. |
| [21:26.70] |
I think what you have to do is try not to... |
| [21:35.47] |
Oh my God! |
| [21:54.16] |
OH..... MY..... GOD!! |
| [22:06.54] |
All right I' ve been feeling incredibly guilty about this, |
| [22:10.24] |
because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes. |
| [22:21.75] |
Wow, you are a good friend, |
| [22:23.92] |
' course the audition was this morning, and I didn' t get it. |
| [22:28.59] |
But that was a hell of a kiss. |
| [22:30.83] |
Rachel is a very lucky girl. |