| [00:35.-1] | And I'm not sure we are. |
| [02:20.-4] | I'm sorry. I didn't know. |
| [04:20.-2] | No,no,not a party. |
| [04:36.-4] | This isn't your first surprise party,is it,sir? |
| [05:59.-2] | -What? -lt will be like we're gal pals. |
| [07:11.-1] | Okay,that's Ross. All right. |
| [07:14.-1] | Okay,they're coming. |
| [08:13.-2] | Weird. |
| [10:03.-4] | When you're not using the markers, put the caps back on them... |
| [10:40.-1] | ... but I've noticed some of you are just placing them on. … |
| [10:51.-3] | Gunther! |
| [11:21.-3] | When I do,walk quickly to the door and don't look back. |
| [11:43.-4] | I know. |
| [11:52.-3] | I have been in the bathroom. |
| [14:48.-2] | Thank you. |
| [15:30.-2] | Everything you've heard is true. |
| [17:35.-2] | I'll be skins! |
| [18:14.-2] | How did you get through this? |
| [22:07.-2] | Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun. |
| [22:21.-1] | Okay,I've got one. |
| [00:07.72] | So,I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. |
| [00:10.56] | And since it's Rachel's birthday... |
| [00:12.89] | ...I thought I'd poach a salmon. … |
| [00:15.93] | What? |
| [00:17.00] | Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things? |
| [00:21.33] | You want to be on the food committee? |
| [00:23.13] | Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees? |
| [00:26.64] | Why can't we just get pizza and beer and have fun? |
| [00:30.68] | I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside. |
| [00:38.12] | You don't want it to be special? |
| [00:40.65] | Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. |
| [00:43.46] | Joey,they're not real! |
| [00:47.36] | I start miles beneath the surface of these things. They're fake. |
| [00:50.83] | See? Honk,honk! |
| [00:53.83] | Wow,it's like porno for clowns! |
| [00:58.64] | The One With Two Parties |
| [01:47.05] | Neither of Rachel's sisters can come. |
| [01:50.12] | I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:54.73] | No Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:56.16] | Why not her? |
| [01:57.73] | Because she.... |
| [01:58.83] | She steals stuff. |
| [02:03.07] | Or maybe she doesn't and Joey slept with her and never called her back. |
| [02:09.94] | Joey,that is horrible. |
| [02:11.78] | Hey,I liked her. |
| [02:13.24] | Maybe too much. |
| [02:14.81] | I don't know. |
| [02:16.58] | I guess I just got scared. |
| [02:22.79] | I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay! |
| [02:27.03] | Hi,honey. How did it go? |
| [02:28.66] | It was the graduation from hell. |
| [02:30.83] | My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship. |
| [02:35.03] | It's supposed to be a joyous occasion. |
| [02:37.60] | Nobody thought my sister would graduate from college. |
| [02:41.14] | It's a testament to what a girl from Long lsland will do for a Celica. |
| [02:46.21] | What happened? |
| [02:47.31] | My parents happened. |
| [02:48.68] | All they had to do was sit in the same stadium,smile... |
| [02:51.88] | ...and not talk about the divorce. But no! … |
| [02:55.29] | They got into a fight during the commencement address. |
| [02:58.12] | Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. |
| [03:04.46] | You know the good news? |
| [03:06.03] | I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours. |
| [03:10.80] | I guess we don't invite her parents. |
| [03:13.30] | -How about just her mom? -Why her mom? |
| [03:16.17] | Because I already invited her. |
| [03:18.68] | Did you ask Stacy Roth? |
| [03:20.88] | Can't invite her. |
| [03:25.05] | She also steals. |
| [03:33.22] | Here are the candles. Where's the birthday cake? |
| [03:36.33] | We're not having birthday cake. |
| [03:38.50] | We're having birthday flan. |
| [03:42.57] | Excuse me? |
| [03:43.74] | It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [03:45.90] | That's nice. |
| [03:47.51] | Happy birthday,Rachel. Here's some goo! |
| [03:57.02] | Dr. Greene! |
| [03:58.85] | Oh,my God! It's Rachel's dad. |
| [04:03.35] | Why are you here? |
| [04:04.89] | The father can't see the daughter on her birthday? |
| [04:07.79] | No,no,the father can. |
| [04:09.86] | But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. |
| [04:13.87] | And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye. |
| [04:17.27] | You're having a party. |
| [04:22.21] | Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. |
| [04:25.54] | -This is Phoebe,Chandler and Joey. -I'll never remember all that. |
| [04:29.78] | So what's the deal? |
| [04:32.08] | Rachel comes home,people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it? |
| [04:42.33] | Hi,Monica. |
| [04:46.93] | The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. |
| [04:50.10] | So basically,just a Chinese guy. |
| [04:54.47] | Dr. Greene,come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed. |
| [05:01.35] | All right. That sounds like a two-person job. |
| [05:07.82] | Well,my goodness! What was that? |
| [05:10.36] | Sandra,I thought you were Rachel. We weren't ready for you yet. |
| [05:14.19] | -You thought I was Rachel? -Yes,because you look so young. |
| [05:18.20] | And because you're both, you know,white women. |
| [05:23.50] | Oh,I missed you kids. Should I put my coat in the bedroom? |
| [05:30.14] | -No,I'll take that for you. -Oh,well,thank you. |
| [05:33.51] | Such a gentleman. Thank you. |
| [05:38.85] | It all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons. |
| [05:43.72] | Oh,the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. |
| [05:47.49] | -I was driving -That's great! |
| [05:53.20] | I can't wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [05:56.80] | Hey,come with me. |
| [06:01.47] | You know,like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on. |
| [06:10.21] | Oh,my God. Oh,my God. Oh,my God! |
| [06:12.25] | Think. Think. |
| [06:14.00] | What would Jack and Chrissy do? |
| [06:18.09] | Okay,now that your coat is safely in the bed |
| [06:21.76] | We can come back out in the living room. |
| [06:24.36] | Joey and Chandler,it's time you take Dr. Greene over to your place. |
| [06:28.87] | Yes,absolutely. |
| [06:32.17] | Why,again? |
| [06:34.41] | Because that's where the party is,you goon! |
| [06:38.61] | -See,this is just the staging area. -Right,it's the staging area. |
| [06:42.71] | This is clearly in the wrong apartment. |
| [06:50.86] | All right,you guys are off to party number one. |
| [06:55.86] | And you.... |
| [06:57.76] | You are off to party number two. |
| [07:00.80] | All right,let's keep it moving, let's keep it moving. |
| [07:06.24] | At least send some women to my party. |
| [07:22.65] | Thank you for such a wonderful dinner. |
| [07:25.56] | Thanks for being born. |
| [07:27.63] | Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They're perfect. |
| [07:30.90] | I love you. |
| [07:32.90] | Now,you can exchange them if you want,okay? |
| [07:36.73] | Now I love you even more. |
| [07:44.31] | Surprise! |
| [07:46.08] | Oh,my gosh! |
| [07:47.81] | Wow! |
| [07:49.91] | Oh,my God. Mom! |
| [07:51.78] | This is so great! |
| [07:53.48] | Happy birthday,sweetie. |
| [07:57.09] | You! I had no idea! |
| [07:59.92] | -Really? -No,I knew. |
| [08:01.36] | All right. |
| [08:03.63] | There's food and drinks on the table. |
| [08:06.20] | Go across the hall. Right now,Joey and Chandler's. |
| [08:09.03] | -Why? -Just go. |
| [08:14.17] | Surprise! |
| [08:18.81] | Happy birthday,sweet pea. |
| [08:21.18] | Daddy! |
| [08:27.55] | Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here? |
| [08:30.79] | Well,we could count again? |
| [08:33.86] | I can't believe this! |
| [08:35.39] | You know,this is ridiculous. |
| [08:37.20] | This is your birthday,your party. |
| [08:39.66] | Let's put them together. If they can't deal with it,who cares? |
| [08:43.07] | -I do. -That's who. |
| [08:47.04] | Are you gonna be okay? |
| [08:48.57] | I don't really have a choice. I can look at the bright side. |
| [08:52.64] | I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes. |
| [08:55.75] | Well,actually... |
| [08:57.55] | ...just one birthday flan. … |
| [09:02.82] | It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [09:05.82] | Talk to Monica. She's on the food committee. |
| [09:15.23] | Some girl just walked up to me and said,"I want you,Dennis"... |
| [09:19.00] | ...and stuck her tongue down my throat. … |
| [09:21.84] | I love this party! |
| [09:24.28] | -Quick volleyball question. -Volleyball. |
| [09:26.61] | We set up a court in your room. |
| [09:28.78] | You didn't like that gray lamp,did you? |
| [09:32.38] | A woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I'm not even listening to you. |
| [09:37.05] | -Dennis! -Okay,that's me. |
| [09:41.19] | Can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna talk to Mom for a while. |
| [09:45.40] | Do you have any ideas for any openers? |
| [09:48.73] | Stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter"... |
| [09:52.07] | ...and you should be okay. … |
| [09:56.27] | I want you to take a piece of paper |
| [09:58.48] | Here you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory. |
| [10:07.65] | ... because they will dry out. … |
| [10:10.66] | Hi,Dr. Greene. |
| [10:13.79] | So how's everything in the... |
| [10:16.83] | ...vascular surgery... … |
| [10:19.30] | ...game? … |
| [10:21.47] | It's not a game,Ross. A woman died on my table today. |
| [10:25.50] | I'm sorry. |
| [10:28.81] | That's the good thing about my job. |
| [10:31.24] | All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead. |
| [10:37.15] | Listen,I don't mean to be a pain about this... |
| [10:43.32] | You want to push the caps... |
| [10:47.12] | ... until you hear them click. … |
| [10:52.00] | Where you going? |
| [10:53.16] | I was sort of thinking about maybe |
| [10:56.10] | No! No,you can't go! No,this is fun. |
| [10:59.37] | We're just starting. Here's your marker. |
| [11:05.11] | If you want to go,just go. |
| [11:08.11] | She'll yell at me again. |
| [11:13.38] | All right,I can get you out. |
| [11:15.45] | What? |
| [11:18.22] | In a minute,I'll create a diversion. |
| [11:25.66] | -I think I need a drink. -I'll get it for you. |
| [11:28.87] | -What do you want? -Scotch. |
| [11:31.07] | I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. |
| [11:35.71] | Neat! |
| [11:37.21] | Cool. |
| [11:39.24] | Neat,as in no rocks. |
| [11:47.85] | Hello,Ross! Where have you been? |
| [11:55.86] | Stay clear of the salmon mousse. |
| [12:02.83] | Scotch neat. |
| [12:04.94] | That's Rachel's father's drink. |
| [12:09.04] | Mine too. Isn't that neat? |
| [12:12.31] | Scotch neat. |
| [12:16.68] | Would you excuse me? |
| [12:24.86] | Where are you sneaking off to,mister? |
| [12:28.53] | I'm getting my cigarettes. |
| [12:30.36] | No. |
| [12:31.50] | What do you mean "no"? |
| [12:33.53] | See,because that's the staging area. |
| [12:36.07] | You go in there,it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. |
| [12:40.74] | Take your scotch back in there... |
| [12:43.01] | ...and I will get your cigarettes for you,sir. … |
| [12:46.71] | -Get my glasses too. -All righty-roo. |
| [12:53.38] | What a great moment to say that for the first time. |
| [12:59.82] | Okay,the first person's most embarrassing memory is... |
| [13:04.43] | ... "Monica,your party sucks." …“ |
| [13:07.60] | Very funny. |
| [13:09.57] | Oh,no! Did someone forget to use a coaster? |
| [13:13.07] | What? |
| [13:21.41] | I don't see anything. |
| [13:23.71] | Great,I'm seeing water rings again. |
| [13:29.35] | Ross,whose glasses are those? |
| [13:32.69] | Mine. |
| [13:35.53] | You wear bifocals? |
| [13:39.13] | I have a condition apparently... |
| [13:42.40] | ...that I require... … |
| [13:45.74] | ...two different sets of focals. … |
| [13:49.07] | Do you know my husband has glasses just like that? |
| [13:52.71] | Well,those are very popular frames. |
| [13:55.65] | Neil Sedaka wears them. |
| [14:00.72] | I hear you can get people out of here. |
| [14:07.29] | You didn't tell me your boyfriend smokes. |
| [14:10.73] | Yeah,like a chimney. |
| [14:13.90] | Big smoker. |
| [14:16.67] | Big,big smoker. |
| [14:18.74] | In fact,I'm gonna go into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. |
| [14:36.49] | Are you wearing my glasses? |
| [14:39.52] | Yes. |
| [14:43.16] | I was just warming up the earpieces for you. |
| [14:51.54] | Is that one of my cigarettes? |
| [15:00.04] | Yes,it is. I was just moistening the tip. |
| [15:05.88] | She's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. |
| [15:09.55] | But it has to be now. She'll be back any minute. |
| [15:12.16] | What about my friend? |
| [15:13.29] | Only the three of you. Any more and she'll get suspicious. |
| [15:17.03] | -Let me just get my coat. -There isn't time! |
| [15:22.07] | Just leave everything. |
| [15:24.00] | They'll take care of you next door. |
| [15:26.87] | Is it true they have beer? |
| [15:33.18] | Could you guys please keep it down? |
| [15:35.75] | We're trying to start a Boggle tournament. |
| [15:43.69] | You! |
| [15:44.76] | And you. |
| [15:46.09] | You're supposed to be at my party. |
| [15:48.26] | And Gunther! |
| [15:54.70] | What are you doing here? |
| [16:00.24] | Welcome to the fo |
| [16:06.08] | All right,I'm sorry. But these people needed me. |
| [16:09.21] | They work hard all week. It's Saturday night. |
| [16:11.72] | They deserve to have a little fun. Go! |
| [16:15.19] | You know,my party is fun. |
| [16:17.22] | It's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun. |
| [16:20.06] | But if people would just give it a chance,it's |
| [16:27.46] | -You want me to see a therapist? -Sweetheart,you have a problem. |
| [16:32.24] | You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father. |
| [16:36.77] | Okay,Mom,I'll make an appointment. |
| [16:39.38] | But right now,I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing. |
| [16:42.78] | Did you know your mother spent $1200 on bonsai trees? |
| [16:48.05] | I felt like Gulliver. |
| [16:50.82] | Daddy,I really want to hear more about this... |
| [16:53.92] | ...but I just have to do some stuff. … |
| [16:57.29] | You work and you work and you work at a marriage... |
| [17:00.50] | ... but all he cares about is his stupid boat. … |
| [17:03.17] | You work and you work and you work on a boat. |
| [17:06.17] | He always ridiculed my pottery classes. |
| [17:09.31] | And you sand it and varnish it. |
| [17:11.48] | But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs. |
| [17:15.31] | One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County.... |
| [17:18.58] | -The scotch,the cigarettes.... - The bonsais and the Chihuahua.... |
| [17:21.59] | I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now but |
| [17:24.12] | What the hell does she want with half a boat? |
| [17:30.46] | Okay,okay,you can be shirts and I'll be skins. |
| [17:43.54] | How you holding up there,tiger? |
| [17:47.51] | Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced,I got a lot of "tigers." |
| [17:52.22] | I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports." |
| [17:56.00] | I even got a "governor." |
| [17:59.72] | This is it,isn't it? This is what my life will be like. |
| [18:03.49] | My mom there,my dad there. |
| [18:05.86] | Thanksgiving,Christmas. |
| [18:08.57] | She gets the house,he's in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker. |
| [18:18.38] | I relied on a carefully regimented program... |
| [18:21.55] | ...of denial... … |
| [18:24.01] | ...and wetting the bed. … |
| [18:28.72] | You know,I just It's so weird. |
| [18:31.32] | I mean,I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other. |
| [18:36.19] | All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July. |
| [18:40.60] | Because it reminded you of the way... |
| [18:42.73] | ...our forefathers used to bitch at each other? … |
| [18:46.34] | It's just this thing. Every year we would... |
| [18:49.24] | ...go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. … |
| [18:52.54] | Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. |
| [18:56.78] | My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side... |
| [19:00.28] | ...and Dad would be upset because nobody helped. … |
| [19:03.22] | And when we did help,he'd scream at us for doing it wrong. |
| [19:09.56] | But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up. |
| [19:14.30] | You know,and it'd get really cold. |
| [19:16.80] | And we'd all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket. |
| [19:20.70] | It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. |
| [19:25.54] | And now it's.... |
| [19:30.71] | Yeah,I know. |
| [19:55.44] | Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun. |
| [19:57.84] | All right,I'm hitting the road. |
| [20:00.08] | Now,I've left my 10 verbs on the table. |
| [20:03.18] | Be sure and send me that finished poem. |
| [20:05.75] | Okay,will do. Glad you came. |
| [20:07.92] | -I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. -Let me go check. |
| [20:13.69] | Your mom wants to say goodbye. |
| [20:15.93] | Happy birthday,sweetie. |
| [20:21.10] | You drive safe. |
| [20:23.93] | What are you doing? |
| [20:26.67] | I'm getting ready for the water skiing. |
| [20:30.27] | Okay,big hug. One more. Come on! |
| [20:35.55] | How are you? |
| [20:39.12] | -Where are you going? -To get my coat. |
| [20:41.32] | We'll get that for you. |
| [20:43.00] | All right,all right. I can get my own coat. |
| [20:53.73] | Sorry,we're on a major flan high. |
| [20:59.04] | Oh,no. No,you're not supposed to be here. |
| [21:02.04] | This is the staging area. It's all wrong. You should leave. |
| [21:06.08] | You know,just get out. |
| [21:17.32] | Or perhaps you'd like a creme de menthe. |
| [21:21.16] | I have to be heading toward my chateau. |
| [21:23.53] | I guess we're going back into the hallway again. |
| [21:26.56] | Thanks for coming,Mrs. Greene. |
| [21:41.35] | You take care. |
| [21:46.38] | Oh,you kids. |
| [21:50.89] | Well. |
| [21:53.46] | This is the best party I've been to in years. |
| [21:57.56] | Thank you! |
| [22:04.57] | Okay,everybody, it's time for flan! |
| [22:11.31] | Looks like that stuff you get when you get an infection. |
| [22:14.91] | Okay,that's enough. |
| [22:16.91] | Okay,Rachel, make a special flan wish. |
| [22:26.89] | Heads up! |
| [22:30.03] | Wow! Those things almost never come true. |
| [00:35.-1] | And I' m not sure we are. |
| [02:20.-4] | I' m sorry. I didn' t know. |
| [04:20.-2] | No, no, not a party. |
| [04:36.-4] | This isn' t your first surprise party, is it, sir? |
| [05:59.-2] | What? lt will be like we' re gal pals. |
| [07:11.-1] | Okay, that' s Ross. All right. |
| [07:14.-1] | Okay, they' re coming. |
| [08:13.-2] | Weird. |
| [10:03.-4] | When you' re not using the markers, put the caps back on them... |
| [10:40.-1] | ... but I' ve noticed some of you are just placing them on. |
| [10:51.-3] | Gunther! |
| [11:21.-3] | When I do, walk quickly to the door and don' t look back. |
| [11:43.-4] | I know. |
| [11:52.-3] | I have been in the bathroom. |
| [14:48.-2] | Thank you. |
| [15:30.-2] | Everything you' ve heard is true. |
| [17:35.-2] | I' ll be skins! |
| [18:14.-2] | How did you get through this? |
| [22:07.-2] | Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun. |
| [22:21.-1] | Okay, I' ve got one. |
| [00:07.72] | So, I' ll get candles and my mom' s lace tablecloth. |
| [00:10.56] | And since it' s Rachel' s birthday... |
| [00:12.89] | ... I thought I' d poach a salmon. |
| [00:15.93] | What? |
| [00:17.00] | Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things? |
| [00:21.33] | You want to be on the food committee? |
| [00:23.13] | Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees? |
| [00:26.64] | Why can' t we just get pizza and beer and have fun? |
| [00:30.68] | I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you' re fancy on the inside. |
| [00:38.12] | You don' t want it to be special? |
| [00:40.65] | Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. |
| [00:43.46] | Joey, they' re not real! |
| [00:47.36] | I start miles beneath the surface of these things. They' re fake. |
| [00:50.83] | See? Honk, honk! |
| [00:53.83] | Wow, it' s like porno for clowns! |
| [00:58.64] | The One With Two Parties |
| [01:47.05] | Neither of Rachel' s sisters can come. |
| [01:50.12] | I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:54.73] | No Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:56.16] | Why not her? |
| [01:57.73] | Because she.... |
| [01:58.83] | She steals stuff. |
| [02:03.07] | Or maybe she doesn' t and Joey slept with her and never called her back. |
| [02:09.94] | Joey, that is horrible. |
| [02:11.78] | Hey, I liked her. |
| [02:13.24] | Maybe too much. |
| [02:14.81] | I don' t know. |
| [02:16.58] | I guess I just got scared. |
| [02:22.79] | I didn' t think anyone would buy that. Okay! |
| [02:27.03] | Hi, honey. How did it go? |
| [02:28.66] | It was the graduation from hell. |
| [02:30.83] | My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship. |
| [02:35.03] | It' s supposed to be a joyous occasion. |
| [02:37.60] | Nobody thought my sister would graduate from college. |
| [02:41.14] | It' s a testament to what a girl from Long lsland will do for a Celica. |
| [02:46.21] | What happened? |
| [02:47.31] | My parents happened. |
| [02:48.68] | All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile... |
| [02:51.88] | ... and not talk about the divorce. But no! |
| [02:55.29] | They got into a fight during the commencement address. |
| [02:58.12] | Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. |
| [03:04.46] | You know the good news? |
| [03:06.03] | I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours. |
| [03:10.80] | I guess we don' t invite her parents. |
| [03:13.30] | How about just her mom? Why her mom? |
| [03:16.17] | Because I already invited her. |
| [03:18.68] | Did you ask Stacy Roth? |
| [03:20.88] | Can' t invite her. |
| [03:25.05] | She also steals. |
| [03:33.22] | Here are the candles. Where' s the birthday cake? |
| [03:36.33] | We' re not having birthday cake. |
| [03:38.50] | We' re having birthday flan. |
| [03:42.57] | Excuse me? |
| [03:43.74] | It' s a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [03:45.90] | That' s nice. |
| [03:47.51] | Happy birthday, Rachel. Here' s some goo! |
| [03:57.02] | Dr. Greene! |
| [03:58.85] | Oh, my God! It' s Rachel' s dad. |
| [04:03.35] | Why are you here? |
| [04:04.89] | The father can' t see the daughter on her birthday? |
| [04:07.79] | No, no, the father can. |
| [04:09.86] | But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she' s not here. |
| [04:13.87] | And I' ll pass along the message. Okay? So byebye. |
| [04:17.27] | You' re having a party. |
| [04:22.21] | Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. |
| [04:25.54] | This is Phoebe, Chandler and Joey. I' ll never remember all that. |
| [04:29.78] | So what' s the deal? |
| [04:32.08] | Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it? |
| [04:42.33] | Hi, Monica. |
| [04:46.93] | The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. |
| [04:50.10] | So basically, just a Chinese guy. |
| [04:54.47] | Dr. Greene, come with me. We' ll put your jacket on Rachel' s bed. |
| [05:01.35] | All right. That sounds like a twoperson job. |
| [05:07.82] | Well, my goodness! What was that? |
| [05:10.36] | Sandra, I thought you were Rachel. We weren' t ready for you yet. |
| [05:14.19] | You thought I was Rachel? Yes, because you look so young. |
| [05:18.20] | And because you' re both, you know, white women. |
| [05:23.50] | Oh, I missed you kids. Should I put my coat in the bedroom? |
| [05:30.14] | No, I' ll take that for you. Oh, well, thank you. |
| [05:33.51] | Such a gentleman. Thank you. |
| [05:38.85] | It all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons. |
| [05:43.72] | Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. |
| [05:47.49] | I was driving That' s great! |
| [05:53.20] | I can' t wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [05:56.80] | Hey, come with me. |
| [06:01.47] | You know, like at a restaurant. It' ll be fun! Come on. |
| [06:10.21] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God! |
| [06:12.25] | Think. Think. |
| [06:14.00] | What would Jack and Chrissy do? |
| [06:18.09] | Okay, now that your coat is safely in the bed |
| [06:21.76] | We can come back out in the living room. |
| [06:24.36] | Joey and Chandler, it' s time you take Dr. Greene over to your place. |
| [06:28.87] | Yes, absolutely. |
| [06:32.17] | Why, again? |
| [06:34.41] | Because that' s where the party is, you goon! |
| [06:38.61] | See, this is just the staging area. Right, it' s the staging area. |
| [06:42.71] | This is clearly in the wrong apartment. |
| [06:50.86] | All right, you guys are off to party number one. |
| [06:55.86] | And you.... |
| [06:57.76] | You are off to party number two. |
| [07:00.80] | All right, let' s keep it moving, let' s keep it moving. |
| [07:06.24] | At least send some women to my party. |
| [07:22.65] | Thank you for such a wonderful dinner. |
| [07:25.56] | Thanks for being born. |
| [07:27.63] | Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They' re perfect. |
| [07:30.90] | I love you. |
| [07:32.90] | Now, you can exchange them if you want, okay? |
| [07:36.73] | Now I love you even more. |
| [07:44.31] | Surprise! |
| [07:46.08] | Oh, my gosh! |
| [07:47.81] | Wow! |
| [07:49.91] | Oh, my God. Mom! |
| [07:51.78] | This is so great! |
| [07:53.48] | Happy birthday, sweetie. |
| [07:57.09] | You! I had no idea! |
| [07:59.92] | Really? No, I knew. |
| [08:01.36] | All right. |
| [08:03.63] | There' s food and drinks on the table. |
| [08:06.20] | Go across the hall. Right now, Joey and Chandler' s. |
| [08:09.03] | Why? Just go. |
| [08:14.17] | Surprise! |
| [08:18.81] | Happy birthday, sweet pea. |
| [08:21.18] | Daddy! |
| [08:27.55] | Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here? |
| [08:30.79] | Well, we could count again? |
| [08:33.86] | I can' t believe this! |
| [08:35.39] | You know, this is ridiculous. |
| [08:37.20] | This is your birthday, your party. |
| [08:39.66] | Let' s put them together. If they can' t deal with it, who cares? |
| [08:43.07] | I do. That' s who. |
| [08:47.04] | Are you gonna be okay? |
| [08:48.57] | I don' t really have a choice. I can look at the bright side. |
| [08:52.64] | I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes. |
| [08:55.75] | Well, actually... |
| [08:57.55] | ... just one birthday flan. |
| [09:02.82] | It' s a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [09:05.82] | Talk to Monica. She' s on the food committee. |
| [09:15.23] | Some girl just walked up to me and said," I want you, Dennis"... |
| [09:19.00] | ... and stuck her tongue down my throat. |
| [09:21.84] | I love this party! |
| [09:24.28] | Quick volleyball question. Volleyball. |
| [09:26.61] | We set up a court in your room. |
| [09:28.78] | You didn' t like that gray lamp, did you? |
| [09:32.38] | A woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I' m not even listening to you. |
| [09:37.05] | Dennis! Okay, that' s me. |
| [09:41.19] | Can you keep Dad occupied? I' m gonna talk to Mom for a while. |
| [09:45.40] | Do you have any ideas for any openers? |
| [09:48.73] | Stay clear of " I' m the guy that' s doing your daughter"... |
| [09:52.07] | ... and you should be okay. |
| [09:56.27] | I want you to take a piece of paper |
| [09:58.48] | Here you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory. |
| [10:07.65] | ... because they will dry out. |
| [10:10.66] | Hi, Dr. Greene. |
| [10:13.79] | So how' s everything in the... |
| [10:16.83] | ... vascular surgery... |
| [10:19.30] | ... game? |
| [10:21.47] | It' s not a game, Ross. A woman died on my table today. |
| [10:25.50] | I' m sorry. |
| [10:28.81] | That' s the good thing about my job. |
| [10:31.24] | All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead. |
| [10:37.15] | Listen, I don' t mean to be a pain about this... |
| [10:43.32] | You want to push the caps... |
| [10:47.12] | ... until you hear them click. |
| [10:52.00] | Where you going? |
| [10:53.16] | I was sort of thinking about maybe |
| [10:56.10] | No! No, you can' t go! No, this is fun. |
| [10:59.37] | We' re just starting. Here' s your marker. |
| [11:05.11] | If you want to go, just go. |
| [11:08.11] | She' ll yell at me again. |
| [11:13.38] | All right, I can get you out. |
| [11:15.45] | What? |
| [11:18.22] | In a minute, I' ll create a diversion. |
| [11:25.66] | I think I need a drink. I' ll get it for you. |
| [11:28.87] | What do you want? Scotch. |
| [11:31.07] | I' ll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. |
| [11:35.71] | Neat! |
| [11:37.21] | Cool. |
| [11:39.24] | Neat, as in no rocks. |
| [11:47.85] | Hello, Ross! Where have you been? |
| [11:55.86] | Stay clear of the salmon mousse. |
| [12:02.83] | Scotch neat. |
| [12:04.94] | That' s Rachel' s father' s drink. |
| [12:09.04] | Mine too. Isn' t that neat? |
| [12:12.31] | Scotch neat. |
| [12:16.68] | Would you excuse me? |
| [12:24.86] | Where are you sneaking off to, mister? |
| [12:28.53] | I' m getting my cigarettes. |
| [12:30.36] | No. |
| [12:31.50] | What do you mean " no"? |
| [12:33.53] | See, because that' s the staging area. |
| [12:36.07] | You go in there, it' ll ruin the whole illusion of the party. |
| [12:40.74] | Take your scotch back in there... |
| [12:43.01] | ... and I will get your cigarettes for you, sir. |
| [12:46.71] | Get my glasses too. All rightyroo. |
| [12:53.38] | What a great moment to say that for the first time. |
| [12:59.82] | Okay, the first person' s most embarrassing memory is... |
| [13:04.43] | ... " Monica, your party sucks." " |
| [13:07.60] | Very funny. |
| [13:09.57] | Oh, no! Did someone forget to use a coaster? |
| [13:13.07] | What? |
| [13:21.41] | I don' t see anything. |
| [13:23.71] | Great, I' m seeing water rings again. |
| [13:29.35] | Ross, whose glasses are those? |
| [13:32.69] | Mine. |
| [13:35.53] | You wear bifocals? |
| [13:39.13] | I have a condition apparently... |
| [13:42.40] | ... that I require... |
| [13:45.74] | ... two different sets of focals. |
| [13:49.07] | Do you know my husband has glasses just like that? |
| [13:52.71] | Well, those are very popular frames. |
| [13:55.65] | Neil Sedaka wears them. |
| [14:00.72] | I hear you can get people out of here. |
| [14:07.29] | You didn' t tell me your boyfriend smokes. |
| [14:10.73] | Yeah, like a chimney. |
| [14:13.90] | Big smoker. |
| [14:16.67] | Big, big smoker. |
| [14:18.74] | In fact, I' m gonna go into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. |
| [14:36.49] | Are you wearing my glasses? |
| [14:39.52] | Yes. |
| [14:43.16] | I was just warming up the earpieces for you. |
| [14:51.54] | Is that one of my cigarettes? |
| [15:00.04] | Yes, it is. I was just moistening the tip. |
| [15:05.88] | She' s taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. |
| [15:09.55] | But it has to be now. She' ll be back any minute. |
| [15:12.16] | What about my friend? |
| [15:13.29] | Only the three of you. Any more and she' ll get suspicious. |
| [15:17.03] | Let me just get my coat. There isn' t time! |
| [15:22.07] | Just leave everything. |
| [15:24.00] | They' ll take care of you next door. |
| [15:26.87] | Is it true they have beer? |
| [15:33.18] | Could you guys please keep it down? |
| [15:35.75] | We' re trying to start a Boggle tournament. |
| [15:43.69] | You! |
| [15:44.76] | And you. |
| [15:46.09] | You' re supposed to be at my party. |
| [15:48.26] | And Gunther! |
| [15:54.70] | What are you doing here? |
| [16:00.24] | Welcome to the fo |
| [16:06.08] | All right, I' m sorry. But these people needed me. |
| [16:09.21] | They work hard all week. It' s Saturday night. |
| [16:11.72] | They deserve to have a little fun. Go! |
| [16:15.19] | You know, my party is fun. |
| [16:17.22] | It' s a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun. |
| [16:20.06] | But if people would just give it a chance, it' s |
| [16:27.46] | You want me to see a therapist? Sweetheart, you have a problem. |
| [16:32.24] | You' ve chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father. |
| [16:36.77] | Okay, Mom, I' ll make an appointment. |
| [16:39.38] | But right now, I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing. |
| [16:42.78] | Did you know your mother spent 1200 on bonsai trees? |
| [16:48.05] | I felt like Gulliver. |
| [16:50.82] | Daddy, I really want to hear more about this... |
| [16:53.92] | ... but I just have to do some stuff. |
| [16:57.29] | You work and you work and you work at a marriage... |
| [17:00.50] | ... but all he cares about is his stupid boat. |
| [17:03.17] | You work and you work and you work on a boat. |
| [17:06.17] | He always ridiculed my pottery classes. |
| [17:09.31] | And you sand it and varnish it. |
| [17:11.48] | But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs. |
| [17:15.31] | One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County.... |
| [17:18.58] | The scotch, the cigarettes.... The bonsais and the Chihuahua.... |
| [17:21.59] | I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now but |
| [17:24.12] | What the hell does she want with half a boat? |
| [17:30.46] | Okay, okay, you can be shirts and I' ll be skins. |
| [17:43.54] | How you holding up there, tiger? |
| [17:47.51] | Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of " tigers." |
| [17:52.22] | I got a lot of " champs," " chiefs," " sports." |
| [17:56.00] | I even got a " governor." |
| [17:59.72] | This is it, isn' t it? This is what my life will be like. |
| [18:03.49] | My mom there, my dad there. |
| [18:05.86] | Thanksgiving, Christmas. |
| [18:08.57] | She gets the house, he' s in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker. |
| [18:18.38] | I relied on a carefully regimented program... |
| [18:21.55] | ... of denial... |
| [18:24.01] | ... and wetting the bed. |
| [18:28.72] | You know, I just It' s so weird. |
| [18:31.32] | I mean, I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other. |
| [18:36.19] | All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July. |
| [18:40.60] | Because it reminded you of the way... |
| [18:42.73] | ... our forefathers used to bitch at each other? |
| [18:46.34] | It' s just this thing. Every year we would... |
| [18:49.24] | ... go out on my dad' s boat and watch the fireworks. |
| [18:52.54] | Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. |
| [18:56.78] | My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side... |
| [19:00.28] | ... and Dad would be upset because nobody helped. |
| [19:03.22] | And when we did help, he' d scream at us for doing it wrong. |
| [19:09.56] | But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up. |
| [19:14.30] | You know, and it' d get really cold. |
| [19:16.80] | And we' d all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket. |
| [19:20.70] | It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. |
| [19:25.54] | And now it' s.... |
| [19:30.71] | Yeah, I know. |
| [19:55.44] | Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun. |
| [19:57.84] | All right, I' m hitting the road. |
| [20:00.08] | Now, I' ve left my 10 verbs on the table. |
| [20:03.18] | Be sure and send me that finished poem. |
| [20:05.75] | Okay, will do. Glad you came. |
| [20:07.92] | I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. Let me go check. |
| [20:13.69] | Your mom wants to say goodbye. |
| [20:15.93] | Happy birthday, sweetie. |
| [20:21.10] | You drive safe. |
| [20:23.93] | What are you doing? |
| [20:26.67] | I' m getting ready for the water skiing. |
| [20:30.27] | Okay, big hug. One more. Come on! |
| [20:35.55] | How are you? |
| [20:39.12] | Where are you going? To get my coat. |
| [20:41.32] | We' ll get that for you. |
| [20:43.00] | All right, all right. I can get my own coat. |
| [20:53.73] | Sorry, we' re on a major flan high. |
| [20:59.04] | Oh, no. No, you' re not supposed to be here. |
| [21:02.04] | This is the staging area. It' s all wrong. You should leave. |
| [21:06.08] | You know, just get out. |
| [21:17.32] | Or perhaps you' d like a creme de menthe. |
| [21:21.16] | I have to be heading toward my chateau. |
| [21:23.53] | I guess we' re going back into the hallway again. |
| [21:26.56] | Thanks for coming, Mrs. Greene. |
| [21:41.35] | You take care. |
| [21:46.38] | Oh, you kids. |
| [21:50.89] | Well. |
| [21:53.46] | This is the best party I' ve been to in years. |
| [21:57.56] | Thank you! |
| [22:04.57] | Okay, everybody, it' s time for flan! |
| [22:11.31] | Looks like that stuff you get when you get an infection. |
| [22:14.91] | Okay, that' s enough. |
| [22:16.91] | Okay, Rachel, make a special flan wish. |
| [22:26.89] | Heads up! |
| [22:30.03] | Wow! Those things almost never come true. |
| [00:35.-1] | And I' m not sure we are. |
| [02:20.-4] | I' m sorry. I didn' t know. |
| [04:20.-2] | No, no, not a party. |
| [04:36.-4] | This isn' t your first surprise party, is it, sir? |
| [05:59.-2] | What? lt will be like we' re gal pals. |
| [07:11.-1] | Okay, that' s Ross. All right. |
| [07:14.-1] | Okay, they' re coming. |
| [08:13.-2] | Weird. |
| [10:03.-4] | When you' re not using the markers, put the caps back on them... |
| [10:40.-1] | ... but I' ve noticed some of you are just placing them on. |
| [10:51.-3] | Gunther! |
| [11:21.-3] | When I do, walk quickly to the door and don' t look back. |
| [11:43.-4] | I know. |
| [11:52.-3] | I have been in the bathroom. |
| [14:48.-2] | Thank you. |
| [15:30.-2] | Everything you' ve heard is true. |
| [17:35.-2] | I' ll be skins! |
| [18:14.-2] | How did you get through this? |
| [22:07.-2] | Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun. |
| [22:21.-1] | Okay, I' ve got one. |
| [00:07.72] | So, I' ll get candles and my mom' s lace tablecloth. |
| [00:10.56] | And since it' s Rachel' s birthday... |
| [00:12.89] | ... I thought I' d poach a salmon. |
| [00:15.93] | What? |
| [00:17.00] | Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things? |
| [00:21.33] | You want to be on the food committee? |
| [00:23.13] | Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees? |
| [00:26.64] | Why can' t we just get pizza and beer and have fun? |
| [00:30.68] | I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you' re fancy on the inside. |
| [00:38.12] | You don' t want it to be special? |
| [00:40.65] | Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. |
| [00:43.46] | Joey, they' re not real! |
| [00:47.36] | I start miles beneath the surface of these things. They' re fake. |
| [00:50.83] | See? Honk, honk! |
| [00:53.83] | Wow, it' s like porno for clowns! |
| [00:58.64] | The One With Two Parties |
| [01:47.05] | Neither of Rachel' s sisters can come. |
| [01:50.12] | I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:54.73] | No Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:56.16] | Why not her? |
| [01:57.73] | Because she.... |
| [01:58.83] | She steals stuff. |
| [02:03.07] | Or maybe she doesn' t and Joey slept with her and never called her back. |
| [02:09.94] | Joey, that is horrible. |
| [02:11.78] | Hey, I liked her. |
| [02:13.24] | Maybe too much. |
| [02:14.81] | I don' t know. |
| [02:16.58] | I guess I just got scared. |
| [02:22.79] | I didn' t think anyone would buy that. Okay! |
| [02:27.03] | Hi, honey. How did it go? |
| [02:28.66] | It was the graduation from hell. |
| [02:30.83] | My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship. |
| [02:35.03] | It' s supposed to be a joyous occasion. |
| [02:37.60] | Nobody thought my sister would graduate from college. |
| [02:41.14] | It' s a testament to what a girl from Long lsland will do for a Celica. |
| [02:46.21] | What happened? |
| [02:47.31] | My parents happened. |
| [02:48.68] | All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile... |
| [02:51.88] | ... and not talk about the divorce. But no! |
| [02:55.29] | They got into a fight during the commencement address. |
| [02:58.12] | Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. |
| [03:04.46] | You know the good news? |
| [03:06.03] | I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours. |
| [03:10.80] | I guess we don' t invite her parents. |
| [03:13.30] | How about just her mom? Why her mom? |
| [03:16.17] | Because I already invited her. |
| [03:18.68] | Did you ask Stacy Roth? |
| [03:20.88] | Can' t invite her. |
| [03:25.05] | She also steals. |
| [03:33.22] | Here are the candles. Where' s the birthday cake? |
| [03:36.33] | We' re not having birthday cake. |
| [03:38.50] | We' re having birthday flan. |
| [03:42.57] | Excuse me? |
| [03:43.74] | It' s a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [03:45.90] | That' s nice. |
| [03:47.51] | Happy birthday, Rachel. Here' s some goo! |
| [03:57.02] | Dr. Greene! |
| [03:58.85] | Oh, my God! It' s Rachel' s dad. |
| [04:03.35] | Why are you here? |
| [04:04.89] | The father can' t see the daughter on her birthday? |
| [04:07.79] | No, no, the father can. |
| [04:09.86] | But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she' s not here. |
| [04:13.87] | And I' ll pass along the message. Okay? So byebye. |
| [04:17.27] | You' re having a party. |
| [04:22.21] | Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. |
| [04:25.54] | This is Phoebe, Chandler and Joey. I' ll never remember all that. |
| [04:29.78] | So what' s the deal? |
| [04:32.08] | Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it? |
| [04:42.33] | Hi, Monica. |
| [04:46.93] | The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. |
| [04:50.10] | So basically, just a Chinese guy. |
| [04:54.47] | Dr. Greene, come with me. We' ll put your jacket on Rachel' s bed. |
| [05:01.35] | All right. That sounds like a twoperson job. |
| [05:07.82] | Well, my goodness! What was that? |
| [05:10.36] | Sandra, I thought you were Rachel. We weren' t ready for you yet. |
| [05:14.19] | You thought I was Rachel? Yes, because you look so young. |
| [05:18.20] | And because you' re both, you know, white women. |
| [05:23.50] | Oh, I missed you kids. Should I put my coat in the bedroom? |
| [05:30.14] | No, I' ll take that for you. Oh, well, thank you. |
| [05:33.51] | Such a gentleman. Thank you. |
| [05:38.85] | It all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons. |
| [05:43.72] | Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. |
| [05:47.49] | I was driving That' s great! |
| [05:53.20] | I can' t wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [05:56.80] | Hey, come with me. |
| [06:01.47] | You know, like at a restaurant. It' ll be fun! Come on. |
| [06:10.21] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God! |
| [06:12.25] | Think. Think. |
| [06:14.00] | What would Jack and Chrissy do? |
| [06:18.09] | Okay, now that your coat is safely in the bed |
| [06:21.76] | We can come back out in the living room. |
| [06:24.36] | Joey and Chandler, it' s time you take Dr. Greene over to your place. |
| [06:28.87] | Yes, absolutely. |
| [06:32.17] | Why, again? |
| [06:34.41] | Because that' s where the party is, you goon! |
| [06:38.61] | See, this is just the staging area. Right, it' s the staging area. |
| [06:42.71] | This is clearly in the wrong apartment. |
| [06:50.86] | All right, you guys are off to party number one. |
| [06:55.86] | And you.... |
| [06:57.76] | You are off to party number two. |
| [07:00.80] | All right, let' s keep it moving, let' s keep it moving. |
| [07:06.24] | At least send some women to my party. |
| [07:22.65] | Thank you for such a wonderful dinner. |
| [07:25.56] | Thanks for being born. |
| [07:27.63] | Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They' re perfect. |
| [07:30.90] | I love you. |
| [07:32.90] | Now, you can exchange them if you want, okay? |
| [07:36.73] | Now I love you even more. |
| [07:44.31] | Surprise! |
| [07:46.08] | Oh, my gosh! |
| [07:47.81] | Wow! |
| [07:49.91] | Oh, my God. Mom! |
| [07:51.78] | This is so great! |
| [07:53.48] | Happy birthday, sweetie. |
| [07:57.09] | You! I had no idea! |
| [07:59.92] | Really? No, I knew. |
| [08:01.36] | All right. |
| [08:03.63] | There' s food and drinks on the table. |
| [08:06.20] | Go across the hall. Right now, Joey and Chandler' s. |
| [08:09.03] | Why? Just go. |
| [08:14.17] | Surprise! |
| [08:18.81] | Happy birthday, sweet pea. |
| [08:21.18] | Daddy! |
| [08:27.55] | Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here? |
| [08:30.79] | Well, we could count again? |
| [08:33.86] | I can' t believe this! |
| [08:35.39] | You know, this is ridiculous. |
| [08:37.20] | This is your birthday, your party. |
| [08:39.66] | Let' s put them together. If they can' t deal with it, who cares? |
| [08:43.07] | I do. That' s who. |
| [08:47.04] | Are you gonna be okay? |
| [08:48.57] | I don' t really have a choice. I can look at the bright side. |
| [08:52.64] | I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes. |
| [08:55.75] | Well, actually... |
| [08:57.55] | ... just one birthday flan. |
| [09:02.82] | It' s a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [09:05.82] | Talk to Monica. She' s on the food committee. |
| [09:15.23] | Some girl just walked up to me and said," I want you, Dennis"... |
| [09:19.00] | ... and stuck her tongue down my throat. |
| [09:21.84] | I love this party! |
| [09:24.28] | Quick volleyball question. Volleyball. |
| [09:26.61] | We set up a court in your room. |
| [09:28.78] | You didn' t like that gray lamp, did you? |
| [09:32.38] | A woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I' m not even listening to you. |
| [09:37.05] | Dennis! Okay, that' s me. |
| [09:41.19] | Can you keep Dad occupied? I' m gonna talk to Mom for a while. |
| [09:45.40] | Do you have any ideas for any openers? |
| [09:48.73] | Stay clear of " I' m the guy that' s doing your daughter"... |
| [09:52.07] | ... and you should be okay. |
| [09:56.27] | I want you to take a piece of paper |
| [09:58.48] | Here you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory. |
| [10:07.65] | ... because they will dry out. |
| [10:10.66] | Hi, Dr. Greene. |
| [10:13.79] | So how' s everything in the... |
| [10:16.83] | ... vascular surgery... |
| [10:19.30] | ... game? |
| [10:21.47] | It' s not a game, Ross. A woman died on my table today. |
| [10:25.50] | I' m sorry. |
| [10:28.81] | That' s the good thing about my job. |
| [10:31.24] | All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead. |
| [10:37.15] | Listen, I don' t mean to be a pain about this... |
| [10:43.32] | You want to push the caps... |
| [10:47.12] | ... until you hear them click. |
| [10:52.00] | Where you going? |
| [10:53.16] | I was sort of thinking about maybe |
| [10:56.10] | No! No, you can' t go! No, this is fun. |
| [10:59.37] | We' re just starting. Here' s your marker. |
| [11:05.11] | If you want to go, just go. |
| [11:08.11] | She' ll yell at me again. |
| [11:13.38] | All right, I can get you out. |
| [11:15.45] | What? |
| [11:18.22] | In a minute, I' ll create a diversion. |
| [11:25.66] | I think I need a drink. I' ll get it for you. |
| [11:28.87] | What do you want? Scotch. |
| [11:31.07] | I' ll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. |
| [11:35.71] | Neat! |
| [11:37.21] | Cool. |
| [11:39.24] | Neat, as in no rocks. |
| [11:47.85] | Hello, Ross! Where have you been? |
| [11:55.86] | Stay clear of the salmon mousse. |
| [12:02.83] | Scotch neat. |
| [12:04.94] | That' s Rachel' s father' s drink. |
| [12:09.04] | Mine too. Isn' t that neat? |
| [12:12.31] | Scotch neat. |
| [12:16.68] | Would you excuse me? |
| [12:24.86] | Where are you sneaking off to, mister? |
| [12:28.53] | I' m getting my cigarettes. |
| [12:30.36] | No. |
| [12:31.50] | What do you mean " no"? |
| [12:33.53] | See, because that' s the staging area. |
| [12:36.07] | You go in there, it' ll ruin the whole illusion of the party. |
| [12:40.74] | Take your scotch back in there... |
| [12:43.01] | ... and I will get your cigarettes for you, sir. |
| [12:46.71] | Get my glasses too. All rightyroo. |
| [12:53.38] | What a great moment to say that for the first time. |
| [12:59.82] | Okay, the first person' s most embarrassing memory is... |
| [13:04.43] | ... " Monica, your party sucks." " |
| [13:07.60] | Very funny. |
| [13:09.57] | Oh, no! Did someone forget to use a coaster? |
| [13:13.07] | What? |
| [13:21.41] | I don' t see anything. |
| [13:23.71] | Great, I' m seeing water rings again. |
| [13:29.35] | Ross, whose glasses are those? |
| [13:32.69] | Mine. |
| [13:35.53] | You wear bifocals? |
| [13:39.13] | I have a condition apparently... |
| [13:42.40] | ... that I require... |
| [13:45.74] | ... two different sets of focals. |
| [13:49.07] | Do you know my husband has glasses just like that? |
| [13:52.71] | Well, those are very popular frames. |
| [13:55.65] | Neil Sedaka wears them. |
| [14:00.72] | I hear you can get people out of here. |
| [14:07.29] | You didn' t tell me your boyfriend smokes. |
| [14:10.73] | Yeah, like a chimney. |
| [14:13.90] | Big smoker. |
| [14:16.67] | Big, big smoker. |
| [14:18.74] | In fact, I' m gonna go into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. |
| [14:36.49] | Are you wearing my glasses? |
| [14:39.52] | Yes. |
| [14:43.16] | I was just warming up the earpieces for you. |
| [14:51.54] | Is that one of my cigarettes? |
| [15:00.04] | Yes, it is. I was just moistening the tip. |
| [15:05.88] | She' s taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. |
| [15:09.55] | But it has to be now. She' ll be back any minute. |
| [15:12.16] | What about my friend? |
| [15:13.29] | Only the three of you. Any more and she' ll get suspicious. |
| [15:17.03] | Let me just get my coat. There isn' t time! |
| [15:22.07] | Just leave everything. |
| [15:24.00] | They' ll take care of you next door. |
| [15:26.87] | Is it true they have beer? |
| [15:33.18] | Could you guys please keep it down? |
| [15:35.75] | We' re trying to start a Boggle tournament. |
| [15:43.69] | You! |
| [15:44.76] | And you. |
| [15:46.09] | You' re supposed to be at my party. |
| [15:48.26] | And Gunther! |
| [15:54.70] | What are you doing here? |
| [16:00.24] | Welcome to the fo |
| [16:06.08] | All right, I' m sorry. But these people needed me. |
| [16:09.21] | They work hard all week. It' s Saturday night. |
| [16:11.72] | They deserve to have a little fun. Go! |
| [16:15.19] | You know, my party is fun. |
| [16:17.22] | It' s a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun. |
| [16:20.06] | But if people would just give it a chance, it' s |
| [16:27.46] | You want me to see a therapist? Sweetheart, you have a problem. |
| [16:32.24] | You' ve chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father. |
| [16:36.77] | Okay, Mom, I' ll make an appointment. |
| [16:39.38] | But right now, I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing. |
| [16:42.78] | Did you know your mother spent 1200 on bonsai trees? |
| [16:48.05] | I felt like Gulliver. |
| [16:50.82] | Daddy, I really want to hear more about this... |
| [16:53.92] | ... but I just have to do some stuff. |
| [16:57.29] | You work and you work and you work at a marriage... |
| [17:00.50] | ... but all he cares about is his stupid boat. |
| [17:03.17] | You work and you work and you work on a boat. |
| [17:06.17] | He always ridiculed my pottery classes. |
| [17:09.31] | And you sand it and varnish it. |
| [17:11.48] | But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs. |
| [17:15.31] | One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County.... |
| [17:18.58] | The scotch, the cigarettes.... The bonsais and the Chihuahua.... |
| [17:21.59] | I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now but |
| [17:24.12] | What the hell does she want with half a boat? |
| [17:30.46] | Okay, okay, you can be shirts and I' ll be skins. |
| [17:43.54] | How you holding up there, tiger? |
| [17:47.51] | Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of " tigers." |
| [17:52.22] | I got a lot of " champs," " chiefs," " sports." |
| [17:56.00] | I even got a " governor." |
| [17:59.72] | This is it, isn' t it? This is what my life will be like. |
| [18:03.49] | My mom there, my dad there. |
| [18:05.86] | Thanksgiving, Christmas. |
| [18:08.57] | She gets the house, he' s in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker. |
| [18:18.38] | I relied on a carefully regimented program... |
| [18:21.55] | ... of denial... |
| [18:24.01] | ... and wetting the bed. |
| [18:28.72] | You know, I just It' s so weird. |
| [18:31.32] | I mean, I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other. |
| [18:36.19] | All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July. |
| [18:40.60] | Because it reminded you of the way... |
| [18:42.73] | ... our forefathers used to bitch at each other? |
| [18:46.34] | It' s just this thing. Every year we would... |
| [18:49.24] | ... go out on my dad' s boat and watch the fireworks. |
| [18:52.54] | Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. |
| [18:56.78] | My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side... |
| [19:00.28] | ... and Dad would be upset because nobody helped. |
| [19:03.22] | And when we did help, he' d scream at us for doing it wrong. |
| [19:09.56] | But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up. |
| [19:14.30] | You know, and it' d get really cold. |
| [19:16.80] | And we' d all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket. |
| [19:20.70] | It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. |
| [19:25.54] | And now it' s.... |
| [19:30.71] | Yeah, I know. |
| [19:55.44] | Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun. |
| [19:57.84] | All right, I' m hitting the road. |
| [20:00.08] | Now, I' ve left my 10 verbs on the table. |
| [20:03.18] | Be sure and send me that finished poem. |
| [20:05.75] | Okay, will do. Glad you came. |
| [20:07.92] | I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. Let me go check. |
| [20:13.69] | Your mom wants to say goodbye. |
| [20:15.93] | Happy birthday, sweetie. |
| [20:21.10] | You drive safe. |
| [20:23.93] | What are you doing? |
| [20:26.67] | I' m getting ready for the water skiing. |
| [20:30.27] | Okay, big hug. One more. Come on! |
| [20:35.55] | How are you? |
| [20:39.12] | Where are you going? To get my coat. |
| [20:41.32] | We' ll get that for you. |
| [20:43.00] | All right, all right. I can get my own coat. |
| [20:53.73] | Sorry, we' re on a major flan high. |
| [20:59.04] | Oh, no. No, you' re not supposed to be here. |
| [21:02.04] | This is the staging area. It' s all wrong. You should leave. |
| [21:06.08] | You know, just get out. |
| [21:17.32] | Or perhaps you' d like a creme de menthe. |
| [21:21.16] | I have to be heading toward my chateau. |
| [21:23.53] | I guess we' re going back into the hallway again. |
| [21:26.56] | Thanks for coming, Mrs. Greene. |
| [21:41.35] | You take care. |
| [21:46.38] | Oh, you kids. |
| [21:50.89] | Well. |
| [21:53.46] | This is the best party I' ve been to in years. |
| [21:57.56] | Thank you! |
| [22:04.57] | Okay, everybody, it' s time for flan! |
| [22:11.31] | Looks like that stuff you get when you get an infection. |
| [22:14.91] | Okay, that' s enough. |
| [22:16.91] | Okay, Rachel, make a special flan wish. |
| [22:26.89] | Heads up! |
| [22:30.03] | Wow! Those things almost never come true. |
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