| [01:03.-2] | Tongue? |
| [03:29.-4] | Good. |
| [05:31.-1] | All right. |
| [06:27.-3] | Abso-... |
| [07:10.-2] | He's gonna stay with Julie. |
| [08:23.-1] | Rachel first. |
| [09:12.-3] | Okay,let's do Julie. |
| [10:39.-4] | I just got back... |
| [11:47.-1] | -Let me get my coat. -Okay. No,hey! |
| [13:22.-4] | A lonely gray couch. |
| [13:54.-1] | I do not need to see it! |
| [15:02.-4] | It's "She's not Rachel"! |
| [16:20.-3] | Hey! Open up! Please? |
| [16:43.-4] | Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. |
| [17:03.-2] | Oh,yeah. |
| [19:15.-2] | Anyhow,here's your check. |
| [19:31.-1] | So it doesn't burn when you pee,does it? |
| [00:04.82] | Ross kissed me. |
| [00:07.32] | Oh,my God! Oh,my God! Oh,my God! |
| [00:09.82] | It was unbelievable! |
| [00:11.39] | Oh,my God! Oh,my God! Oh,my God! |
| [00:14.69] | Let's hear everything. |
| [00:16.43] | Monica,get the wine and unplug the phone. |
| [00:19.36] | Rachel,does this end well or do we need to get tissues? |
| [00:23.10] | It ended very well. |
| [00:26.20] | Do not start without me! Do not start without me! |
| [00:29.34] | Okay. All right. Let's hear about the kiss. |
| [00:32.18] | Was it a soft brush against your lips... |
| [00:34.78] | ...or was it a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing? |
| [00:38.88] | Well,at first it was really intense, you know? And then.... |
| [00:43.22] | Oh,God. And then we just sort of sunk into it. |
| [00:46.79] | So was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back? |
| [00:50.63] | No,actually,first they started out on my waist... |
| [00:54.37] | ...and then they slid up and were in my hair. |
| [01:00.27] | And... |
| [01:01.44] | ...then I kissed her. … |
| [01:04.08] | -Yeah. -Cool. |
| [01:53.16] | All right,check out this bad boy! |
| [01:55.53] | Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500-megabyte hard drive... 12MGRAM 500MG |
| [01:59.10] | ... built-in spreadsheet capabilities... |
| [02:01.10] | ...and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS. |
| [02:05.27] | What will you use it for? |
| [02:07.84] | Games and stuff. |
| [02:11.51] | There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me. |
| [02:14.41] | Oh,wait,here's one. |
| [02:16.92] | -Would you be willing to cook naked? -There's an ad for a naked chef? |
| [02:21.29] | No,but if you'll cook naked,then you might be willing to dance naked. |
| [02:26.26] | And then. |
| [02:31.43] | So how'd you make out last night? |
| [02:37.44] | That is funny. That is painfully funny. |
| [02:40.14] | No,wait,wait. … |
| [02:41.81] | Yeah,that's just painful. |
| [02:44.31] | Wait a minute. I thought last night was great. |
| [02:47.65] | Yeah,it was. But I get home... |
| [02:49.75] | ...and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table... |
| [02:53.25] | ...and I think, "My God! What am I doing?" |
| [02:55.79] | Here I am with Julie, this incredible,great woman... |
| [02:58.89] | ...who I care about and who cares about me... … |
| [03:01.83] | ...and I'm just throwing all that away? |
| [03:04.50] | You got all that from saline solution? |
| [03:08.00] | Wait. We're talking about Rachel. You and Rachel. |
| [03:11.50] | I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for 10 years. |
| [03:14.67] | But now I'm with Julie. |
| [03:16.64] | So it's like,me and Julie, me and Rachel. |
| [03:19.74] | Me and Julie,me and Rach |
| [03:22.48] | Rachel! Rachel. |
| [03:24.85] | -Hey,you. -How are you? |
| [03:27.29] | Good. How are you? |
| [03:30.36] | -Hi,honey. -Hi,Julie. Hi,Julie? |
| [03:33.76] | Julie! |
| [03:36.59] | How are you? |
| [03:37.66] | Good. |
| [03:39.33] | So everybody's here. |
| [03:41.87] | Everybody's good. |
| [03:46.67] | Were you gonna play something? |
| [03:49.14] | -Well,actually -Play it! |
| [03:53.28] | All right. |
| [03:55.15] | -Julie,I didn't know you wore lenses. -What? |
| [04:00.22] | Okay. Hi. |
| [04:02.00] | Hello. Hi. Okay. |
| [04:06.22] | This is a song about a love triangle... |
| [04:09.53] | ... between three people I made up. … |
| [04:15.40] | It's called "Two of Them Kissed Last Night." |
| [04:21.64] | There was a girl We'll call her Betty |
| [04:25.54] | And a guy Let's call him Neil |
| [04:29.55] | Now I can't stress This point too strongly |
| [04:33.59] | This story isn't real |
| [04:39.00] | Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside |
| [04:44.00] | Will Betty be the one Who he loves truly |
| [04:46.40] | Or will it be the one Who we'll call Loolie |
| [04:53.37] | He must decide He must decide |
| [04:55.91] | Even though I made him up He must decide |
| [05:03.01] | Well,this is a nice resume. |
| [05:06.05] | Nice,nice,nice. |
| [05:08.52] | Muy impressivo. |
| [05:11.52] | Mr. Rastatter,what does this job entail? The ad wasn't clear. |
| [05:16.76] | Macholate. |
| [05:18.93] | -I'm sorry? -Macholate. |
| [05:20.47] | It's a synthetic chocolate substitute. |
| [05:25.94] | Go ahead,try a piece. |
| [05:27.74] | We think Macholate is even better than chocolate. |
| [05:41.29] | I love how it crumbles. |
| [05:43.82] | -You see,chocolate doesn't do that. -No,ma'am. |
| [05:47.83] | We should be getting our FDA approval any day now. |
| [05:52.40] | Hopefully,in time for Thanksgiving. |
| [05:55.10] | The way we see it, chocolate dominates... |
| [05:57.80] | ...your major food-preparation holidays. Easter,Christmas,what have you. … |
| [06:02.84] | But given the right marketing... |
| [06:05.14] | ...we can make Thanksgiving the Macholate holiday. … |
| [06:09.18] | Wow. |
| [06:11.12] | Aren't you gonna swallow that? |
| [06:13.69] | Just waiting for it to stop bubbling. |
| [06:16.32] | Isn't that great? |
| [06:20.29] | Well,anyhow... |
| [06:21.83] | ...we're looking for chefs who can create Thanksgiving recipes. … |
| [06:25.53] | You interested? |
| [06:29.27] | ... -lutely! … |
| [06:32.27] | I love creating recipes, I love Thanksgiving,and now... |
| [06:36.01] | ... I love Macholate. … |
| [06:37.44] | Really? |
| [06:38.71] | Especially that aftertaste. I tell you... |
| [06:41.61] | ...that'll last you till Christmas. … |
| [06:48.22] | How about Macholate mousse? |
| [06:50.19] | It's not... |
| [06:51.62] | ...very Thanksgiving-y. … |
| [06:53.66] | How about Pilgrim Macholate mousse? |
| [06:57.20] | What makes it Pilgrim? |
| [06:58.73] | We'll put buckles on it. |
| [07:04.07] | Did Ross call? |
| [07:05.54] | No,I'm sorry. |
| [07:07.64] | Why didn't he call? |
| [07:11.81] | He's gonna stay with her and she'll be: |
| [07:14.18] | "Hi,I'm Julie. Ross picked me. “ |
| [07:16.68] | We'll get married and have lots of kids and dig up stuff together!" “ |
| [07:22.42] | No offense,but that sounds nothing like her. |
| [07:28.03] | What am I gonna do? This is like a complete nightmare! |
| [07:32.26] | I know. This must be so hard. "Oh,no! Two women love me! |
| [07:37.74] | They're both gorgeous, my wallet's too small for my 50s... |
| [07:41.21] | ...and my diamond shoes are too tight!" … |
| [07:45.11] | -Here's a thought -Don't ever touch the computer. |
| [07:50.11] | Ross,listen. I got two words for you: |
| [07:53.18] | Threesome. |
| [07:58.29] | Let's get logical about this. We'll make a list. |
| [08:01.26] | "Rachel and Julie: Pros and Cons." “ |
| [08:07.90] | We'll put their names in different fonts... |
| [08:10.87] | ...and I can use different colors for each column. |
| [08:13.74] | Can't we use a pen? |
| [08:15.24] | No,Amish boy. |
| [08:19.04] | Let's start with the cons because they're more fun. |
| [08:24.82] | I don't know. |
| [08:26.48] | I mean.... |
| [08:27.92] | All right,I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes. |
| [08:32.89] | You could say that. |
| [08:36.46] | I guess,sometimes she's a little ditzy,you know? |
| [08:40.80] | And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. |
| [08:44.40] | And Julie and I have a lot in common... |
| [08:46.74] | ... because we're both paleontologists,right? … |
| [08:49.84] | But Rachel's just a waitress. |
| [08:51.91] | Waitress. |
| [08:53.85] | Got it. You guys want to play Doom? |
| [08:58.58] | Or we could keep doing this. |
| [09:02.42] | What else? |
| [09:04.26] | I don't know. |
| [09:07.63] | Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby. |
| [09:13.60] | What's wrong with her? |
| [09:18.54] | She's not Rachel. |
| [09:23.94] | This is pumpkin pie with a Macholate crust. |
| [09:27.04] | This is Macholate cranberry cake, and these are Macholate-chip cookies. |
| [09:31.05] | Just like the lndians served. |
| [09:36.69] | Oh,my God! |
| [09:37.89] | "Oh,my God" good? |
| [09:39.06] | Oh,my God! I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth. |
| [09:43.76] | Sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like! |
| [09:53.47] | I tell you,it won't print. |
| [09:56.47] | I pressed that button,like,100 times. |
| [09:59.38] | For a hotline,you're not so hot. |
| [10:03.75] | What is that in the background? |
| [10:05.75] | Are you watching Star Trek? |
| [10:14.56] | So did you break Julie's heart? |
| [10:18.40] | It was horrible. She cried,I cried. She threw things,they hit me. |
| [10:25.77] | I did the right thing. |
| [10:27.24] | So Spock actually hugs his father? |
| [10:31.84] | Hey,do you guys have |
| [10:37.85] | Where you going? |
| [10:42.52] | ...from Julie's. … |
| [10:46.46] | No,no. |
| [10:47.79] | It's not what you think. |
| [10:49.83] | It's the other thing. |
| [10:58.44] | Well,what's the other thing? What do I think? |
| [11:03.84] | Well.... |
| [11:05.31] | He broke up with Julie! |
| [11:08.15] | Well,go hug her,for God's sakes! |
| [11:12.68] | Really? |
| [11:13.85] | Really. |
| [11:15.89] | It's always been you,Rach. |
| [11:18.02] | Oh,God. |
| [11:31.37] | Oh,this is good. |
| [11:33.17] | -This is really good. -I know. I know. |
| [11:35.51] | It's almost.... |
| [11:43.65] | What do you say we take a walk? Just us. Not them. |
| [11:50.42] | I'll get your coat. |
| [11:59.23] | He's going to get my coat. He's going to get my coat,Joey! |
| [12:02.90] | Joey,I can't believe this! This is unbelievable! |
| [12:07.24] | -What's that? -What? Nothing! |
| [12:11.84] | -I saw my name. What is it? -No,no,see? See? |
| [12:15.41] | It's printing! |
| [12:17.72] | It's printing! |
| [12:20.58] | Let me see! |
| [12:22.05] | Hey,someone order a coat? |
| [12:23.89] | Chandler wrote something about me and won't let me see. |
| [12:27.43] | He won't? He won't! |
| [12:31.26] | Because isn't that... |
| [12:33.10] | ...the short story you were writing? |
| [12:36.27] | Yes,it is a short story... |
| [12:38.74] | ...that I was writing. … |
| [12:40.20] | And I'm in it? Let me read it. |
| [12:42.31] | No! |
| [12:45.64] | -Come on! -Hey,why don't you read it to her? |
| [12:59.56] | All right. |
| [13:10.60] | "It was summer. |
| [13:14.47] | And it was hot. |
| [13:16.91] | Rachel was there. |
| [13:26.32] | 'Oh,look!' cried Ned. |
| [13:29.49] | And the kingdom was his forever. The end!" |
| [13:35.59] | That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the world! |
| [13:40.13] | This isn't funny anymore. |
| [13:42.00] | There's something about me on that paper,and I want to see it. |
| [13:46.27] | No,you don't. |
| [13:49.84] | All right,fine. If you guys want to be children,that's fine. |
| [14:02.29] | What is this? |
| [14:03.52] | That is.... |
| [14:06.46] | What is this? |
| [14:07.53] | -Thank you. -Good luck. |
| [14:12.53] | Okay. Just remember how crazy I am about you,okay? |
| [14:16.30] | "Kind of ditzy"? “ |
| [14:18.37] | "Too into her looks"? “ |
| [14:21.07] | "Spoiled"? |
| [14:22.34] | A little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little," the idiot! |
| [14:27.38] | "Just a waitress"? “ |
| [14:30.51] | Now that was.... |
| [14:32.68] | I mean,as opposed to.... |
| [14:36.32] | Okay,is this over yet? Rach? |
| [14:39.42] | I do not have chubby ankles! |
| [14:43.03] | No! I |
| [14:44.43] | Okay,look at the other side. Look at Julie's column. |
| [14:48.43] | "She's not Rachem"? “ |
| [14:51.37] | What the hell's a Rachem? |
| [14:53.07] | Is that a stupid paleontology word... |
| [14:55.34] | ... I wouldn't know, because I'm just a waitress? |
| [14:58.24] | Rach,come on! |
| [15:04.05] | She's not.... |
| [15:13.86] | My diary! Brilliant! |
| [15:15.43] | If I'd said it was my diary, she wouldn't have made me read it. |
| [15:19.46] | That's true. You'd be a great person to have around after an emergency. |
| [15:25.57] | I cannot believe Ross even made this list. |
| [15:28.14] | -I know. -What a dinkus! |
| [15:31.81] | Hey,cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea. |
| [15:35.31] | What? |
| [15:36.81] | Oh,good. I was hoping that would come up. |
| [15:40.55] | This was your idea? |
| [15:42.15] | Let's get some perspective here. These things happen for a reason. |
| [15:46.79] | Yeah. You! |
| [15:49.89] | Pheebs,back me up. You believe in that karma crap,don't you? |
| [15:54.83] | By the way,good luck in your next life as a dung beetle. |
| [16:16.02] | Rach! |
| [16:22.66] | When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross,that means,"Go away." |
| [16:26.80] | It doesn't mean, "Climb up the fire escape." |
| [16:29.27] | I just want to read you your "Pro List." |
| [16:32.30] | Not interested. |
| [16:35.44] | "Number one: the way you cry at game shows. |
| [16:39.18] | Number two: how much you love your friends. |
| [16:47.18] | Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. |
| [16:51.29] | Number five: how great you are with Ben. |
| [16:54.63] | Number six: the way you smell." |
| [16:59.53] | What are you doing? |
| [17:01.13] | You want to open the window? |
| [17:05.57] | -What are you doing out there? -I'm.... |
| [17:08.17] | You must be freezing. You know what you need? |
| [17:10.87] | How about a nice,steaming cup of hot Macholate? |
| [17:18.18] | Come on,open up. |
| [17:20.65] | Rach,come on. You gotta give me another chance. |
| [17:24.00] | No. |
| [17:25.89] | -No? -That's what I said. |
| [17:28.19] | Maybe we should go. |
| [17:29.53] | You don't have to go. We're done. |
| [17:31.83] | I know how you must |
| [17:33.56] | No! You don't,Ross. |
| [17:35.90] | Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. |
| [17:40.04] | How would you feel if the person you trusted most in the world... |
| [17:44.44] | ... not only thinks them too... |
| [17:46.34] | ... but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you. |
| [17:50.51] | No,but see,I want to be with you in spite of all those things. |
| [17:55.85] | Well,that's mighty big of you. |
| [17:58.76] | I said,don't go! |
| [18:03.43] | You know what? |
| [18:04.90] | If it were the other way around,there is nothing you could put on a list... |
| [18:09.93] | ...that would make me not want to be with you. … |
| [18:13.37] | Well,then I guess that's the difference between us. |
| [18:16.77] | See,I'd never make a list. |
| [18:34.93] | I never know how long to wait in this situation before you can talk. |
| [18:41.60] | Maybe a little longer. |
| [18:48.57] | In these recipes, the quantities may seem unusual. |
| [18:51.91] | Like these coconut Macholate holiday nut bars? |
| [18:55.11] | I've indicated four cups of coconut and four cups of nuts... |
| [18:58.42] | ...and only one tablespoon of Macholate. … |
| [19:02.82] | Doesn't matter. |
| [19:05.36] | Our FDA approval didn't come through. |
| [19:08.09] | Something about laboratory rats. |
| [19:12.13] | Gosh,I'm sorry. |
| [19:13.36] | Yeah. |
| [19:18.10] | Thank you for all the trouble you went through. |
| [19:20.94] | Listen,you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking,did you? |
| [19:25.18] | Well,I ate some. |
| [19:26.88] | Oh,some is fine. Some is not a lot. |
| [19:51.87] | Is that him again? |
| [19:53.50] | Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down. |
| [19:59.81] | I don't think this is the best time. |
| [20:02.18] | Look,can you do something for me? |
| [20:05.32] | Sure. What? |
| [20:10.65] | All right. |
| [20:15.23] | Music? |
| [20:17.03] | Sure. |
| [20:25.17] | The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. |
| [20:28.37] | Rachel,he wants you to know he's sorry for what he did... |
| [20:31.44] | ...and he hopes you can forgive him. … |
| [20:34.61] | See the stones set in your eyes |
| [20:39.22] | See the thorn twist in your side |
| [20:43.75] | I'll wait for you |
| [20:52.53] | Sleight of hand and twist of fate |
| [20:56.53] | On a bed of nails she makes me wait |
| [21:01.47] | And I'll wait without you |
| [21:06.11] | We've just gotten a call from Rachel and she told us what Ross did. |
| [21:11.22] | It's pretty appalling. And,Ross,if you're listening... |
| [21:14.42] | ...I don't want to play your song anymore. … |
| [21:22.83] | Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? |
| [21:25.93] | Avery,Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car... |
| [21:28.57] | ...and she hopes you two will work it out. |
| [21:31.64] | There's a room where |
| [21:34.44] | I can go … |
| [21:38.08] | And tell my secrets to |
| [21:43.81] | In my room |
| [21:50.32] | In my room |
| [22:04.94] | Thanks for coming in again. |
| [22:07.14] | Not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash. |
| [22:10.44] | It's like I'm looking in a mirror. |
| [22:13.48] | Anyway,they're called Fish-tachios. |
| [22:17.68] | They taste exactly like pistachios... |
| [22:20.52] | ... but they're made of reconstituted fish bits. |
| [22:24.02] | Here,try one. |
| [22:26.66] | -All right. -You're not allergic to anything? |
| [22:29.69] | Cat hair. |
| [22:30.73] | Oh,sorry. |
| [01:03.-2] | Tongue? |
| [03:29.-4] | Good. |
| [05:31.-1] | All right. |
| [06:27.-3] | Abso... |
| [07:10.-2] | He' s gonna stay with Julie. |
| [08:23.-1] | Rachel first. |
| [09:12.-3] | Okay, let' s do Julie. |
| [10:39.-4] | I just got back... |
| [11:47.-1] | Let me get my coat. Okay. No, hey! |
| [13:22.-4] | A lonely gray couch. |
| [13:54.-1] | I do not need to see it! |
| [15:02.-4] | It' s " She' s not Rachel"! |
| [16:20.-3] | Hey! Open up! Please? |
| [16:43.-4] | Number three: the way you play with your hair when you' re nervous. |
| [17:03.-2] | Oh, yeah. |
| [19:15.-2] | Anyhow, here' s your check. |
| [19:31.-1] | So it doesn' t burn when you pee, does it? |
| [00:04.82] | Ross kissed me. |
| [00:07.32] | Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! |
| [00:09.82] | It was unbelievable! |
| [00:11.39] | Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! |
| [00:14.69] | Let' s hear everything. |
| [00:16.43] | Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. |
| [00:19.36] | Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues? |
| [00:23.10] | It ended very well. |
| [00:26.20] | Do not start without me! Do not start without me! |
| [00:29.34] | Okay. All right. Let' s hear about the kiss. |
| [00:32.18] | Was it a soft brush against your lips... |
| [00:34.78] | ... or was it a " I gotta have you now" kind of thing? |
| [00:38.88] | Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then.... |
| [00:43.22] | Oh, God. And then we just sort of sunk into it. |
| [00:46.79] | So was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back? |
| [00:50.63] | No, actually, first they started out on my waist... |
| [00:54.37] | ... and then they slid up and were in my hair. |
| [01:00.27] | And... |
| [01:01.44] | ... then I kissed her. |
| [01:04.08] | Yeah. Cool. |
| [01:53.16] | All right, check out this bad boy! |
| [01:55.53] | Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500megabyte hard drive... 12MGRAM 500MG |
| [01:59.10] | ... builtin spreadsheet capabilities... |
| [02:01.10] | ... and a modem that transmits at over 28, 000 BPS. |
| [02:05.27] | What will you use it for? |
| [02:07.84] | Games and stuff. |
| [02:11.51] | There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me. |
| [02:14.41] | Oh, wait, here' s one. |
| [02:16.92] | Would you be willing to cook naked? There' s an ad for a naked chef? |
| [02:21.29] | No, but if you' ll cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. |
| [02:26.26] | And then. |
| [02:31.43] | So how' d you make out last night? |
| [02:37.44] | That is funny. That is painfully funny. |
| [02:40.14] | No, wait, wait. |
| [02:41.81] | Yeah, that' s just painful. |
| [02:44.31] | Wait a minute. I thought last night was great. |
| [02:47.65] | Yeah, it was. But I get home... |
| [02:49.75] | ... and I see Julie' s saline solution on my night table... |
| [02:53.25] | ... and I think, " My God! What am I doing?" |
| [02:55.79] | Here I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman... |
| [02:58.89] | ... who I care about and who cares about me... |
| [03:01.83] | ... and I' m just throwing all that away? |
| [03:04.50] | You got all that from saline solution? |
| [03:08.00] | Wait. We' re talking about Rachel. You and Rachel. |
| [03:11.50] | I' ve been dreaming about me and Rachel for 10 years. |
| [03:14.67] | But now I' m with Julie. |
| [03:16.64] | So it' s like, me and Julie, me and Rachel. |
| [03:19.74] | Me and Julie, me and Rach |
| [03:22.48] | Rachel! Rachel. |
| [03:24.85] | Hey, you. How are you? |
| [03:27.29] | Good. How are you? |
| [03:30.36] | Hi, honey. Hi, Julie. Hi, Julie? |
| [03:33.76] | Julie! |
| [03:36.59] | How are you? |
| [03:37.66] | Good. |
| [03:39.33] | So everybody' s here. |
| [03:41.87] | Everybody' s good. |
| [03:46.67] | Were you gonna play something? |
| [03:49.14] | Well, actually Play it! |
| [03:53.28] | All right. |
| [03:55.15] | Julie, I didn' t know you wore lenses. What? |
| [04:00.22] | Okay. Hi. |
| [04:02.00] | Hello. Hi. Okay. |
| [04:06.22] | This is a song about a love triangle... |
| [04:09.53] | ... between three people I made up. |
| [04:15.40] | It' s called " Two of Them Kissed Last Night." |
| [04:21.64] | There was a girl We' ll call her Betty |
| [04:25.54] | And a guy Let' s call him Neil |
| [04:29.55] | Now I can' t stress This point too strongly |
| [04:33.59] | This story isn' t real |
| [04:39.00] | Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside |
| [04:44.00] | Will Betty be the one Who he loves truly |
| [04:46.40] | Or will it be the one Who we' ll call Loolie |
| [04:53.37] | He must decide He must decide |
| [04:55.91] | Even though I made him up He must decide |
| [05:03.01] | Well, this is a nice resume. |
| [05:06.05] | Nice, nice, nice. |
| [05:08.52] | Muy impressivo. |
| [05:11.52] | Mr. Rastatter, what does this job entail? The ad wasn' t clear. |
| [05:16.76] | Macholate. |
| [05:18.93] | I' m sorry? Macholate. |
| [05:20.47] | It' s a synthetic chocolate substitute. |
| [05:25.94] | Go ahead, try a piece. |
| [05:27.74] | We think Macholate is even better than chocolate. |
| [05:41.29] | I love how it crumbles. |
| [05:43.82] | You see, chocolate doesn' t do that. No, ma' am. |
| [05:47.83] | We should be getting our FDA approval any day now. |
| [05:52.40] | Hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. |
| [05:55.10] | The way we see it, chocolate dominates... |
| [05:57.80] | ... your major foodpreparation holidays. Easter, Christmas, what have you. |
| [06:02.84] | But given the right marketing... |
| [06:05.14] | ... we can make Thanksgiving the Macholate holiday. |
| [06:09.18] | Wow. |
| [06:11.12] | Aren' t you gonna swallow that? |
| [06:13.69] | Just waiting for it to stop bubbling. |
| [06:16.32] | Isn' t that great? |
| [06:20.29] | Well, anyhow... |
| [06:21.83] | ... we' re looking for chefs who can create Thanksgiving recipes. |
| [06:25.53] | You interested? |
| [06:29.27] | ... lutely! |
| [06:32.27] | I love creating recipes, I love Thanksgiving, and now... |
| [06:36.01] | ... I love Macholate. |
| [06:37.44] | Really? |
| [06:38.71] | Especially that aftertaste. I tell you... |
| [06:41.61] | ... that' ll last you till Christmas. |
| [06:48.22] | How about Macholate mousse? |
| [06:50.19] | It' s not... |
| [06:51.62] | ... very Thanksgivingy. |
| [06:53.66] | How about Pilgrim Macholate mousse? |
| [06:57.20] | What makes it Pilgrim? |
| [06:58.73] | We' ll put buckles on it. |
| [07:04.07] | Did Ross call? |
| [07:05.54] | No, I' m sorry. |
| [07:07.64] | Why didn' t he call? |
| [07:11.81] | He' s gonna stay with her and she' ll be: |
| [07:14.18] | " Hi, I' m Julie. Ross picked me. " |
| [07:16.68] | We' ll get married and have lots of kids and dig up stuff together!" " |
| [07:22.42] | No offense, but that sounds nothing like her. |
| [07:28.03] | What am I gonna do? This is like a complete nightmare! |
| [07:32.26] | I know. This must be so hard. " Oh, no! Two women love me! |
| [07:37.74] | They' re both gorgeous, my wallet' s too small for my 50s... |
| [07:41.21] | ... and my diamond shoes are too tight!" |
| [07:45.11] | Here' s a thought Don' t ever touch the computer. |
| [07:50.11] | Ross, listen. I got two words for you: |
| [07:53.18] | Threesome. |
| [07:58.29] | Let' s get logical about this. We' ll make a list. |
| [08:01.26] | " Rachel and Julie: Pros and Cons." " |
| [08:07.90] | We' ll put their names in different fonts... |
| [08:10.87] | ... and I can use different colors for each column. |
| [08:13.74] | Can' t we use a pen? |
| [08:15.24] | No, Amish boy. |
| [08:19.04] | Let' s start with the cons because they' re more fun. |
| [08:24.82] | I don' t know. |
| [08:26.48] | I mean.... |
| [08:27.92] | All right, I guess you can say she' s a little spoiled sometimes. |
| [08:32.89] | You could say that. |
| [08:36.46] | I guess, sometimes she' s a little ditzy, you know? |
| [08:40.80] | And I' ve seen her be a little too into her looks. |
| [08:44.40] | And Julie and I have a lot in common... |
| [08:46.74] | ... because we' re both paleontologists, right? |
| [08:49.84] | But Rachel' s just a waitress. |
| [08:51.91] | Waitress. |
| [08:53.85] | Got it. You guys want to play Doom? |
| [08:58.58] | Or we could keep doing this. |
| [09:02.42] | What else? |
| [09:04.26] | I don' t know. |
| [09:07.63] | Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby. |
| [09:13.60] | What' s wrong with her? |
| [09:18.54] | She' s not Rachel. |
| [09:23.94] | This is pumpkin pie with a Macholate crust. |
| [09:27.04] | This is Macholate cranberry cake, and these are Macholatechip cookies. |
| [09:31.05] | Just like the lndians served. |
| [09:36.69] | Oh, my God! |
| [09:37.89] | " Oh, my God" good? |
| [09:39.06] | Oh, my God! I can' t believe you let me put this in my mouth. |
| [09:43.76] | Sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like! |
| [09:53.47] | I tell you, it won' t print. |
| [09:56.47] | I pressed that button, like, 100 times. |
| [09:59.38] | For a hotline, you' re not so hot. |
| [10:03.75] | What is that in the background? |
| [10:05.75] | Are you watching Star Trek? |
| [10:14.56] | So did you break Julie' s heart? |
| [10:18.40] | It was horrible. She cried, I cried. She threw things, they hit me. |
| [10:25.77] | I did the right thing. |
| [10:27.24] | So Spock actually hugs his father? |
| [10:31.84] | Hey, do you guys have |
| [10:37.85] | Where you going? |
| [10:42.52] | ... from Julie' s. |
| [10:46.46] | No, no. |
| [10:47.79] | It' s not what you think. |
| [10:49.83] | It' s the other thing. |
| [10:58.44] | Well, what' s the other thing? What do I think? |
| [11:03.84] | Well.... |
| [11:05.31] | He broke up with Julie! |
| [11:08.15] | Well, go hug her, for God' s sakes! |
| [11:12.68] | Really? |
| [11:13.85] | Really. |
| [11:15.89] | It' s always been you, Rach. |
| [11:18.02] | Oh, God. |
| [11:31.37] | Oh, this is good. |
| [11:33.17] | This is really good. I know. I know. |
| [11:35.51] | It' s almost.... |
| [11:43.65] | What do you say we take a walk? Just us. Not them. |
| [11:50.42] | I' ll get your coat. |
| [11:59.23] | He' s going to get my coat. He' s going to get my coat, Joey! |
| [12:02.90] | Joey, I can' t believe this! This is unbelievable! |
| [12:07.24] | What' s that? What? Nothing! |
| [12:11.84] | I saw my name. What is it? No, no, see? See? |
| [12:15.41] | It' s printing! |
| [12:17.72] | It' s printing! |
| [12:20.58] | Let me see! |
| [12:22.05] | Hey, someone order a coat? |
| [12:23.89] | Chandler wrote something about me and won' t let me see. |
| [12:27.43] | He won' t? He won' t! |
| [12:31.26] | Because isn' t that... |
| [12:33.10] | ... the short story you were writing? |
| [12:36.27] | Yes, it is a short story... |
| [12:38.74] | ... that I was writing. |
| [12:40.20] | And I' m in it? Let me read it. |
| [12:42.31] | No! |
| [12:45.64] | Come on! Hey, why don' t you read it to her? |
| [12:59.56] | All right. |
| [13:10.60] | " It was summer. |
| [13:14.47] | And it was hot. |
| [13:16.91] | Rachel was there. |
| [13:26.32] | ' Oh, look!' cried Ned. |
| [13:29.49] | And the kingdom was his forever. The end!" |
| [13:35.59] | That' s all you wrote? You' re the worst writer in the world! |
| [13:40.13] | This isn' t funny anymore. |
| [13:42.00] | There' s something about me on that paper, and I want to see it. |
| [13:46.27] | No, you don' t. |
| [13:49.84] | All right, fine. If you guys want to be children, that' s fine. |
| [14:02.29] | What is this? |
| [14:03.52] | That is.... |
| [14:06.46] | What is this? |
| [14:07.53] | Thank you. Good luck. |
| [14:12.53] | Okay. Just remember how crazy I am about you, okay? |
| [14:16.30] | " Kind of ditzy"? " |
| [14:18.37] | " Too into her looks"? " |
| [14:21.07] | " Spoiled"? |
| [14:22.34] | A little spoiled. He was supposed to type " little," the idiot! |
| [14:27.38] | " Just a waitress"? " |
| [14:30.51] | Now that was.... |
| [14:32.68] | I mean, as opposed to.... |
| [14:36.32] | Okay, is this over yet? Rach? |
| [14:39.42] | I do not have chubby ankles! |
| [14:43.03] | No! I |
| [14:44.43] | Okay, look at the other side. Look at Julie' s column. |
| [14:48.43] | " She' s not Rachem"? " |
| [14:51.37] | What the hell' s a Rachem? |
| [14:53.07] | Is that a stupid paleontology word... |
| [14:55.34] | ... I wouldn' t know, because I' m just a waitress? |
| [14:58.24] | Rach, come on! |
| [15:04.05] | She' s not.... |
| [15:13.86] | My diary! Brilliant! |
| [15:15.43] | If I' d said it was my diary, she wouldn' t have made me read it. |
| [15:19.46] | That' s true. You' d be a great person to have around after an emergency. |
| [15:25.57] | I cannot believe Ross even made this list. |
| [15:28.14] | I know. What a dinkus! |
| [15:31.81] | Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler' s idea. |
| [15:35.31] | What? |
| [15:36.81] | Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up. |
| [15:40.55] | This was your idea? |
| [15:42.15] | Let' s get some perspective here. These things happen for a reason. |
| [15:46.79] | Yeah. You! |
| [15:49.89] | Pheebs, back me up. You believe in that karma crap, don' t you? |
| [15:54.83] | By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle. |
| [16:16.02] | Rach! |
| [16:22.66] | When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means," Go away." |
| [16:26.80] | It doesn' t mean, " Climb up the fire escape." |
| [16:29.27] | I just want to read you your " Pro List." |
| [16:32.30] | Not interested. |
| [16:35.44] | " Number one: the way you cry at game shows. |
| [16:39.18] | Number two: how much you love your friends. |
| [16:47.18] | Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. |
| [16:51.29] | Number five: how great you are with Ben. |
| [16:54.63] | Number six: the way you smell." |
| [16:59.53] | What are you doing? |
| [17:01.13] | You want to open the window? |
| [17:05.57] | What are you doing out there? I' m.... |
| [17:08.17] | You must be freezing. You know what you need? |
| [17:10.87] | How about a nice, steaming cup of hot Macholate? |
| [17:18.18] | Come on, open up. |
| [17:20.65] | Rach, come on. You gotta give me another chance. |
| [17:24.00] | No. |
| [17:25.89] | No? That' s what I said. |
| [17:28.19] | Maybe we should go. |
| [17:29.53] | You don' t have to go. We' re done. |
| [17:31.83] | I know how you must |
| [17:33.56] | No! You don' t, Ross. |
| [17:35.90] | Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. |
| [17:40.04] | How would you feel if the person you trusted most in the world... |
| [17:44.44] | ... not only thinks them too... |
| [17:46.34] | ... but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you. |
| [17:50.51] | No, but see, I want to be with you in spite of all those things. |
| [17:55.85] | Well, that' s mighty big of you. |
| [17:58.76] | I said, don' t go! |
| [18:03.43] | You know what? |
| [18:04.90] | If it were the other way around, there is nothing you could put on a list... |
| [18:09.93] | ... that would make me not want to be with you. |
| [18:13.37] | Well, then I guess that' s the difference between us. |
| [18:16.77] | See, I' d never make a list. |
| [18:34.93] | I never know how long to wait in this situation before you can talk. |
| [18:41.60] | Maybe a little longer. |
| [18:48.57] | In these recipes, the quantities may seem unusual. |
| [18:51.91] | Like these coconut Macholate holiday nut bars? |
| [18:55.11] | I' ve indicated four cups of coconut and four cups of nuts... |
| [18:58.42] | ... and only one tablespoon of Macholate. |
| [19:02.82] | Doesn' t matter. |
| [19:05.36] | Our FDA approval didn' t come through. |
| [19:08.09] | Something about laboratory rats. |
| [19:12.13] | Gosh, I' m sorry. |
| [19:13.36] | Yeah. |
| [19:18.10] | Thank you for all the trouble you went through. |
| [19:20.94] | Listen, you didn' t eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you? |
| [19:25.18] | Well, I ate some. |
| [19:26.88] | Oh, some is fine. Some is not a lot. |
| [19:51.87] | Is that him again? |
| [19:53.50] | Tell him I' d come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down. |
| [19:59.81] | I don' t think this is the best time. |
| [20:02.18] | Look, can you do something for me? |
| [20:05.32] | Sure. What? |
| [20:10.65] | All right. |
| [20:15.23] | Music? |
| [20:17.03] | Sure. |
| [20:25.17] | The next one' s dedicated to Rachel from Ross. |
| [20:28.37] | Rachel, he wants you to know he' s sorry for what he did... |
| [20:31.44] | ... and he hopes you can forgive him. |
| [20:34.61] | See the stones set in your eyes |
| [20:39.22] | See the thorn twist in your side |
| [20:43.75] | I' ll wait for you |
| [20:52.53] | Sleight of hand and twist of fate |
| [20:56.53] | On a bed of nails she makes me wait |
| [21:01.47] | And I' ll wait without you |
| [21:06.11] | We' ve just gotten a call from Rachel and she told us what Ross did. |
| [21:11.22] | It' s pretty appalling. And, Ross, if you' re listening... |
| [21:14.42] | ... I don' t want to play your song anymore. |
| [21:22.83] | Why don' t we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? |
| [21:25.93] | Avery, Michelle' s sorry she hit you with her car... |
| [21:28.57] | ... and she hopes you two will work it out. |
| [21:31.64] | There' s a room where |
| [21:34.44] | I can go |
| [21:38.08] | And tell my secrets to |
| [21:43.81] | In my room |
| [21:50.32] | In my room |
| [22:04.94] | Thanks for coming in again. |
| [22:07.14] | Not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash. |
| [22:10.44] | It' s like I' m looking in a mirror. |
| [22:13.48] | Anyway, they' re called Fishtachios. |
| [22:17.68] | They taste exactly like pistachios... |
| [22:20.52] | ... but they' re made of reconstituted fish bits. |
| [22:24.02] | Here, try one. |
| [22:26.66] | All right. You' re not allergic to anything? |
| [22:29.69] | Cat hair. |
| [22:30.73] | Oh, sorry. |
| [01:03.-2] | Tongue? |
| [03:29.-4] | Good. |
| [05:31.-1] | All right. |
| [06:27.-3] | Abso... |
| [07:10.-2] | He' s gonna stay with Julie. |
| [08:23.-1] | Rachel first. |
| [09:12.-3] | Okay, let' s do Julie. |
| [10:39.-4] | I just got back... |
| [11:47.-1] | Let me get my coat. Okay. No, hey! |
| [13:22.-4] | A lonely gray couch. |
| [13:54.-1] | I do not need to see it! |
| [15:02.-4] | It' s " She' s not Rachel"! |
| [16:20.-3] | Hey! Open up! Please? |
| [16:43.-4] | Number three: the way you play with your hair when you' re nervous. |
| [17:03.-2] | Oh, yeah. |
| [19:15.-2] | Anyhow, here' s your check. |
| [19:31.-1] | So it doesn' t burn when you pee, does it? |
| [00:04.82] | Ross kissed me. |
| [00:07.32] | Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! |
| [00:09.82] | It was unbelievable! |
| [00:11.39] | Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! |
| [00:14.69] | Let' s hear everything. |
| [00:16.43] | Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. |
| [00:19.36] | Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues? |
| [00:23.10] | It ended very well. |
| [00:26.20] | Do not start without me! Do not start without me! |
| [00:29.34] | Okay. All right. Let' s hear about the kiss. |
| [00:32.18] | Was it a soft brush against your lips... |
| [00:34.78] | ... or was it a " I gotta have you now" kind of thing? |
| [00:38.88] | Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then.... |
| [00:43.22] | Oh, God. And then we just sort of sunk into it. |
| [00:46.79] | So was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back? |
| [00:50.63] | No, actually, first they started out on my waist... |
| [00:54.37] | ... and then they slid up and were in my hair. |
| [01:00.27] | And... |
| [01:01.44] | ... then I kissed her. |
| [01:04.08] | Yeah. Cool. |
| [01:53.16] | All right, check out this bad boy! |
| [01:55.53] | Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500megabyte hard drive... 12MGRAM 500MG |
| [01:59.10] | ... builtin spreadsheet capabilities... |
| [02:01.10] | ... and a modem that transmits at over 28, 000 BPS. |
| [02:05.27] | What will you use it for? |
| [02:07.84] | Games and stuff. |
| [02:11.51] | There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me. |
| [02:14.41] | Oh, wait, here' s one. |
| [02:16.92] | Would you be willing to cook naked? There' s an ad for a naked chef? |
| [02:21.29] | No, but if you' ll cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. |
| [02:26.26] | And then. |
| [02:31.43] | So how' d you make out last night? |
| [02:37.44] | That is funny. That is painfully funny. |
| [02:40.14] | No, wait, wait. |
| [02:41.81] | Yeah, that' s just painful. |
| [02:44.31] | Wait a minute. I thought last night was great. |
| [02:47.65] | Yeah, it was. But I get home... |
| [02:49.75] | ... and I see Julie' s saline solution on my night table... |
| [02:53.25] | ... and I think, " My God! What am I doing?" |
| [02:55.79] | Here I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman... |
| [02:58.89] | ... who I care about and who cares about me... |
| [03:01.83] | ... and I' m just throwing all that away? |
| [03:04.50] | You got all that from saline solution? |
| [03:08.00] | Wait. We' re talking about Rachel. You and Rachel. |
| [03:11.50] | I' ve been dreaming about me and Rachel for 10 years. |
| [03:14.67] | But now I' m with Julie. |
| [03:16.64] | So it' s like, me and Julie, me and Rachel. |
| [03:19.74] | Me and Julie, me and Rach |
| [03:22.48] | Rachel! Rachel. |
| [03:24.85] | Hey, you. How are you? |
| [03:27.29] | Good. How are you? |
| [03:30.36] | Hi, honey. Hi, Julie. Hi, Julie? |
| [03:33.76] | Julie! |
| [03:36.59] | How are you? |
| [03:37.66] | Good. |
| [03:39.33] | So everybody' s here. |
| [03:41.87] | Everybody' s good. |
| [03:46.67] | Were you gonna play something? |
| [03:49.14] | Well, actually Play it! |
| [03:53.28] | All right. |
| [03:55.15] | Julie, I didn' t know you wore lenses. What? |
| [04:00.22] | Okay. Hi. |
| [04:02.00] | Hello. Hi. Okay. |
| [04:06.22] | This is a song about a love triangle... |
| [04:09.53] | ... between three people I made up. |
| [04:15.40] | It' s called " Two of Them Kissed Last Night." |
| [04:21.64] | There was a girl We' ll call her Betty |
| [04:25.54] | And a guy Let' s call him Neil |
| [04:29.55] | Now I can' t stress This point too strongly |
| [04:33.59] | This story isn' t real |
| [04:39.00] | Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside |
| [04:44.00] | Will Betty be the one Who he loves truly |
| [04:46.40] | Or will it be the one Who we' ll call Loolie |
| [04:53.37] | He must decide He must decide |
| [04:55.91] | Even though I made him up He must decide |
| [05:03.01] | Well, this is a nice resume. |
| [05:06.05] | Nice, nice, nice. |
| [05:08.52] | Muy impressivo. |
| [05:11.52] | Mr. Rastatter, what does this job entail? The ad wasn' t clear. |
| [05:16.76] | Macholate. |
| [05:18.93] | I' m sorry? Macholate. |
| [05:20.47] | It' s a synthetic chocolate substitute. |
| [05:25.94] | Go ahead, try a piece. |
| [05:27.74] | We think Macholate is even better than chocolate. |
| [05:41.29] | I love how it crumbles. |
| [05:43.82] | You see, chocolate doesn' t do that. No, ma' am. |
| [05:47.83] | We should be getting our FDA approval any day now. |
| [05:52.40] | Hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. |
| [05:55.10] | The way we see it, chocolate dominates... |
| [05:57.80] | ... your major foodpreparation holidays. Easter, Christmas, what have you. |
| [06:02.84] | But given the right marketing... |
| [06:05.14] | ... we can make Thanksgiving the Macholate holiday. |
| [06:09.18] | Wow. |
| [06:11.12] | Aren' t you gonna swallow that? |
| [06:13.69] | Just waiting for it to stop bubbling. |
| [06:16.32] | Isn' t that great? |
| [06:20.29] | Well, anyhow... |
| [06:21.83] | ... we' re looking for chefs who can create Thanksgiving recipes. |
| [06:25.53] | You interested? |
| [06:29.27] | ... lutely! |
| [06:32.27] | I love creating recipes, I love Thanksgiving, and now... |
| [06:36.01] | ... I love Macholate. |
| [06:37.44] | Really? |
| [06:38.71] | Especially that aftertaste. I tell you... |
| [06:41.61] | ... that' ll last you till Christmas. |
| [06:48.22] | How about Macholate mousse? |
| [06:50.19] | It' s not... |
| [06:51.62] | ... very Thanksgivingy. |
| [06:53.66] | How about Pilgrim Macholate mousse? |
| [06:57.20] | What makes it Pilgrim? |
| [06:58.73] | We' ll put buckles on it. |
| [07:04.07] | Did Ross call? |
| [07:05.54] | No, I' m sorry. |
| [07:07.64] | Why didn' t he call? |
| [07:11.81] | He' s gonna stay with her and she' ll be: |
| [07:14.18] | " Hi, I' m Julie. Ross picked me. " |
| [07:16.68] | We' ll get married and have lots of kids and dig up stuff together!" " |
| [07:22.42] | No offense, but that sounds nothing like her. |
| [07:28.03] | What am I gonna do? This is like a complete nightmare! |
| [07:32.26] | I know. This must be so hard. " Oh, no! Two women love me! |
| [07:37.74] | They' re both gorgeous, my wallet' s too small for my 50s... |
| [07:41.21] | ... and my diamond shoes are too tight!" |
| [07:45.11] | Here' s a thought Don' t ever touch the computer. |
| [07:50.11] | Ross, listen. I got two words for you: |
| [07:53.18] | Threesome. |
| [07:58.29] | Let' s get logical about this. We' ll make a list. |
| [08:01.26] | " Rachel and Julie: Pros and Cons." " |
| [08:07.90] | We' ll put their names in different fonts... |
| [08:10.87] | ... and I can use different colors for each column. |
| [08:13.74] | Can' t we use a pen? |
| [08:15.24] | No, Amish boy. |
| [08:19.04] | Let' s start with the cons because they' re more fun. |
| [08:24.82] | I don' t know. |
| [08:26.48] | I mean.... |
| [08:27.92] | All right, I guess you can say she' s a little spoiled sometimes. |
| [08:32.89] | You could say that. |
| [08:36.46] | I guess, sometimes she' s a little ditzy, you know? |
| [08:40.80] | And I' ve seen her be a little too into her looks. |
| [08:44.40] | And Julie and I have a lot in common... |
| [08:46.74] | ... because we' re both paleontologists, right? |
| [08:49.84] | But Rachel' s just a waitress. |
| [08:51.91] | Waitress. |
| [08:53.85] | Got it. You guys want to play Doom? |
| [08:58.58] | Or we could keep doing this. |
| [09:02.42] | What else? |
| [09:04.26] | I don' t know. |
| [09:07.63] | Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby. |
| [09:13.60] | What' s wrong with her? |
| [09:18.54] | She' s not Rachel. |
| [09:23.94] | This is pumpkin pie with a Macholate crust. |
| [09:27.04] | This is Macholate cranberry cake, and these are Macholatechip cookies. |
| [09:31.05] | Just like the lndians served. |
| [09:36.69] | Oh, my God! |
| [09:37.89] | " Oh, my God" good? |
| [09:39.06] | Oh, my God! I can' t believe you let me put this in my mouth. |
| [09:43.76] | Sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like! |
| [09:53.47] | I tell you, it won' t print. |
| [09:56.47] | I pressed that button, like, 100 times. |
| [09:59.38] | For a hotline, you' re not so hot. |
| [10:03.75] | What is that in the background? |
| [10:05.75] | Are you watching Star Trek? |
| [10:14.56] | So did you break Julie' s heart? |
| [10:18.40] | It was horrible. She cried, I cried. She threw things, they hit me. |
| [10:25.77] | I did the right thing. |
| [10:27.24] | So Spock actually hugs his father? |
| [10:31.84] | Hey, do you guys have |
| [10:37.85] | Where you going? |
| [10:42.52] | ... from Julie' s. |
| [10:46.46] | No, no. |
| [10:47.79] | It' s not what you think. |
| [10:49.83] | It' s the other thing. |
| [10:58.44] | Well, what' s the other thing? What do I think? |
| [11:03.84] | Well.... |
| [11:05.31] | He broke up with Julie! |
| [11:08.15] | Well, go hug her, for God' s sakes! |
| [11:12.68] | Really? |
| [11:13.85] | Really. |
| [11:15.89] | It' s always been you, Rach. |
| [11:18.02] | Oh, God. |
| [11:31.37] | Oh, this is good. |
| [11:33.17] | This is really good. I know. I know. |
| [11:35.51] | It' s almost.... |
| [11:43.65] | What do you say we take a walk? Just us. Not them. |
| [11:50.42] | I' ll get your coat. |
| [11:59.23] | He' s going to get my coat. He' s going to get my coat, Joey! |
| [12:02.90] | Joey, I can' t believe this! This is unbelievable! |
| [12:07.24] | What' s that? What? Nothing! |
| [12:11.84] | I saw my name. What is it? No, no, see? See? |
| [12:15.41] | It' s printing! |
| [12:17.72] | It' s printing! |
| [12:20.58] | Let me see! |
| [12:22.05] | Hey, someone order a coat? |
| [12:23.89] | Chandler wrote something about me and won' t let me see. |
| [12:27.43] | He won' t? He won' t! |
| [12:31.26] | Because isn' t that... |
| [12:33.10] | ... the short story you were writing? |
| [12:36.27] | Yes, it is a short story... |
| [12:38.74] | ... that I was writing. |
| [12:40.20] | And I' m in it? Let me read it. |
| [12:42.31] | No! |
| [12:45.64] | Come on! Hey, why don' t you read it to her? |
| [12:59.56] | All right. |
| [13:10.60] | " It was summer. |
| [13:14.47] | And it was hot. |
| [13:16.91] | Rachel was there. |
| [13:26.32] | ' Oh, look!' cried Ned. |
| [13:29.49] | And the kingdom was his forever. The end!" |
| [13:35.59] | That' s all you wrote? You' re the worst writer in the world! |
| [13:40.13] | This isn' t funny anymore. |
| [13:42.00] | There' s something about me on that paper, and I want to see it. |
| [13:46.27] | No, you don' t. |
| [13:49.84] | All right, fine. If you guys want to be children, that' s fine. |
| [14:02.29] | What is this? |
| [14:03.52] | That is.... |
| [14:06.46] | What is this? |
| [14:07.53] | Thank you. Good luck. |
| [14:12.53] | Okay. Just remember how crazy I am about you, okay? |
| [14:16.30] | " Kind of ditzy"? " |
| [14:18.37] | " Too into her looks"? " |
| [14:21.07] | " Spoiled"? |
| [14:22.34] | A little spoiled. He was supposed to type " little," the idiot! |
| [14:27.38] | " Just a waitress"? " |
| [14:30.51] | Now that was.... |
| [14:32.68] | I mean, as opposed to.... |
| [14:36.32] | Okay, is this over yet? Rach? |
| [14:39.42] | I do not have chubby ankles! |
| [14:43.03] | No! I |
| [14:44.43] | Okay, look at the other side. Look at Julie' s column. |
| [14:48.43] | " She' s not Rachem"? " |
| [14:51.37] | What the hell' s a Rachem? |
| [14:53.07] | Is that a stupid paleontology word... |
| [14:55.34] | ... I wouldn' t know, because I' m just a waitress? |
| [14:58.24] | Rach, come on! |
| [15:04.05] | She' s not.... |
| [15:13.86] | My diary! Brilliant! |
| [15:15.43] | If I' d said it was my diary, she wouldn' t have made me read it. |
| [15:19.46] | That' s true. You' d be a great person to have around after an emergency. |
| [15:25.57] | I cannot believe Ross even made this list. |
| [15:28.14] | I know. What a dinkus! |
| [15:31.81] | Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler' s idea. |
| [15:35.31] | What? |
| [15:36.81] | Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up. |
| [15:40.55] | This was your idea? |
| [15:42.15] | Let' s get some perspective here. These things happen for a reason. |
| [15:46.79] | Yeah. You! |
| [15:49.89] | Pheebs, back me up. You believe in that karma crap, don' t you? |
| [15:54.83] | By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle. |
| [16:16.02] | Rach! |
| [16:22.66] | When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means," Go away." |
| [16:26.80] | It doesn' t mean, " Climb up the fire escape." |
| [16:29.27] | I just want to read you your " Pro List." |
| [16:32.30] | Not interested. |
| [16:35.44] | " Number one: the way you cry at game shows. |
| [16:39.18] | Number two: how much you love your friends. |
| [16:47.18] | Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. |
| [16:51.29] | Number five: how great you are with Ben. |
| [16:54.63] | Number six: the way you smell." |
| [16:59.53] | What are you doing? |
| [17:01.13] | You want to open the window? |
| [17:05.57] | What are you doing out there? I' m.... |
| [17:08.17] | You must be freezing. You know what you need? |
| [17:10.87] | How about a nice, steaming cup of hot Macholate? |
| [17:18.18] | Come on, open up. |
| [17:20.65] | Rach, come on. You gotta give me another chance. |
| [17:24.00] | No. |
| [17:25.89] | No? That' s what I said. |
| [17:28.19] | Maybe we should go. |
| [17:29.53] | You don' t have to go. We' re done. |
| [17:31.83] | I know how you must |
| [17:33.56] | No! You don' t, Ross. |
| [17:35.90] | Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. |
| [17:40.04] | How would you feel if the person you trusted most in the world... |
| [17:44.44] | ... not only thinks them too... |
| [17:46.34] | ... but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you. |
| [17:50.51] | No, but see, I want to be with you in spite of all those things. |
| [17:55.85] | Well, that' s mighty big of you. |
| [17:58.76] | I said, don' t go! |
| [18:03.43] | You know what? |
| [18:04.90] | If it were the other way around, there is nothing you could put on a list... |
| [18:09.93] | ... that would make me not want to be with you. |
| [18:13.37] | Well, then I guess that' s the difference between us. |
| [18:16.77] | See, I' d never make a list. |
| [18:34.93] | I never know how long to wait in this situation before you can talk. |
| [18:41.60] | Maybe a little longer. |
| [18:48.57] | In these recipes, the quantities may seem unusual. |
| [18:51.91] | Like these coconut Macholate holiday nut bars? |
| [18:55.11] | I' ve indicated four cups of coconut and four cups of nuts... |
| [18:58.42] | ... and only one tablespoon of Macholate. |
| [19:02.82] | Doesn' t matter. |
| [19:05.36] | Our FDA approval didn' t come through. |
| [19:08.09] | Something about laboratory rats. |
| [19:12.13] | Gosh, I' m sorry. |
| [19:13.36] | Yeah. |
| [19:18.10] | Thank you for all the trouble you went through. |
| [19:20.94] | Listen, you didn' t eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you? |
| [19:25.18] | Well, I ate some. |
| [19:26.88] | Oh, some is fine. Some is not a lot. |
| [19:51.87] | Is that him again? |
| [19:53.50] | Tell him I' d come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down. |
| [19:59.81] | I don' t think this is the best time. |
| [20:02.18] | Look, can you do something for me? |
| [20:05.32] | Sure. What? |
| [20:10.65] | All right. |
| [20:15.23] | Music? |
| [20:17.03] | Sure. |
| [20:25.17] | The next one' s dedicated to Rachel from Ross. |
| [20:28.37] | Rachel, he wants you to know he' s sorry for what he did... |
| [20:31.44] | ... and he hopes you can forgive him. |
| [20:34.61] | See the stones set in your eyes |
| [20:39.22] | See the thorn twist in your side |
| [20:43.75] | I' ll wait for you |
| [20:52.53] | Sleight of hand and twist of fate |
| [20:56.53] | On a bed of nails she makes me wait |
| [21:01.47] | And I' ll wait without you |
| [21:06.11] | We' ve just gotten a call from Rachel and she told us what Ross did. |
| [21:11.22] | It' s pretty appalling. And, Ross, if you' re listening... |
| [21:14.42] | ... I don' t want to play your song anymore. |
| [21:22.83] | Why don' t we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? |
| [21:25.93] | Avery, Michelle' s sorry she hit you with her car... |
| [21:28.57] | ... and she hopes you two will work it out. |
| [21:31.64] | There' s a room where |
| [21:34.44] | I can go |
| [21:38.08] | And tell my secrets to |
| [21:43.81] | In my room |
| [21:50.32] | In my room |
| [22:04.94] | Thanks for coming in again. |
| [22:07.14] | Not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash. |
| [22:10.44] | It' s like I' m looking in a mirror. |
| [22:13.48] | Anyway, they' re called Fishtachios. |
| [22:17.68] | They taste exactly like pistachios... |
| [22:20.52] | ... but they' re made of reconstituted fish bits. |
| [22:24.02] | Here, try one. |
| [22:26.66] | All right. You' re not allergic to anything? |
| [22:29.69] | Cat hair. |
| [22:30.73] | Oh, sorry. |
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