| [00:00.00] |
Hello, Mega Man. und Mrs. Mega Man. |
| [00:03.29] |
Welcome to couples' therapy. I'm Dr. Wily. |
| [00:05.54] |
Dr. Wily? You're a therapist now? |
| [00:08.16] |
But you're evil, and bent on world domination! |
| [00:09.88] |
Not anymore. Those days are behind me. |
| [00:12.30] |
Don't question it! Shut up. Just tell me the problem over this hot beat. |
| [00:15.94] |
Okay... |
| [00:16.48] |
Well you see, Doc, I got a pretty nice life |
| [00:18.52] |
A Mega House with two kids, and a hot Mega Wife |
| [00:20.55] |
But I got a little problem with my android bride |
| [00:22.74] |
When it comes to making love, she's never satisfied |
| [00:24.88] |
We've been fucking for decades! Sex has gotten routine! |
| [00:26.85] |
We gotta spice that shit up, I'm not a total machine! |
| [00:28.88] |
I'm sick of all the romance, and the cuddles, and the love |
| [00:31.14] |
It's time to get dirty and do all the weird stuff! |
| [00:32.90] |
It would be seeming to me that the problem here |
| [00:36.83] |
Is you don't listen to your wife, she is being clear |
| [00:41.08] |
But she says the same thing, like a tape recorder! |
| [00:43.23] |
Quiet! The doctor is talking -- there must be order! |
| [00:45.92] |
...Sorry, I'm not evil anymore. |
| [00:49.53] |
You must beat the Robot Masters to acquire skills |
| [00:53.50] |
And then use them on your wife when she is getting drilled |
| [00:58.00] |
Maybe she likes shocks from Elec Man's beam |
| [01:01.93] |
Or getting burnt by fireballs; she's a freaky man's dream |
| [01:06.39] |
Is that what you want, hon? A Robot Master? |
| [01:08.56] |
Get out and do it, you stupid bastard! |
| [01:10.75] |
Your marriage will be healthy like pure spring water |
| [01:12.86] |
Now leave my office before you are slaughtered! |
| [01:14.91] |
Fine, I'll kick ass if it saves my marriage |
| [01:16.90] |
For the satisfaction of my lady's undercarriage |
| [01:19.03] |
First I'll take on Fire Man, not much of a test |
| [01:20.82] |
Oh, your weakness is ice? I woulda never fucking guessed. |
| [01:23.11] |
Now Ice Man is here, this shouldn't take up too much time |
| [01:25.18] |
Oh, is your weakness fire? You just blew my fucking mind. |
| [01:27.39] |
I cut Cut Man and he's gonna need stitches |
| [01:29.53] |
Bomb and Elec Man just went down like little bitches |
| [01:31.61] |
Wait, you douchebag, I'm gonna end your life |
| [01:35.52] |
I am Mega Man Zero, and I'm here to plow your wife |
| [01:39.63] |
I bring sex moves from the future, and my skills are vast |
| [01:43.67] |
Like my super double ultra mega nutbuster cumblast (Oh!) |
| [01:48.41] |
Women can't resist my blonde flowing locks |
| [01:51.89] |
I'll slap a stamp right on my package and deliver your wife the cock |
| [01:56.17] |
My shining armor is red, the color of victory |
| [02:00.49] |
While your fruity suit is blue, like your balls will soon be |
| [02:05.63] |
Wait! What are you doing...? |
| [02:08.58] |
Mega Dick... activate! |
| [02:13.17] |
So Mega Man harnessed all the powers of the Masters |
| [02:15.58] |
And killed Zero with his mega laser schlong-blaster |
| [02:17.64] |
And then he banged his wife until she screamed "Yes! More!" |
| [02:19.72] |
Then she loved him again, 'cause she's a shallow whore |
| [02:23.05] |
Sorry, that was misogynistic. |
| [02:26.05] |
She is a whore, though. |
| [02:27.17] |
What did you say?! |
| [02:28.37] |
Nothing! |
| [02:29.90] |
...Douche. |