[00:10.53]Well  it took me a woman late last night
[00:12.85]I's three-fourths drunk she looked all right
[00:18.17]'Til she started peelin' off her onion gook
[00:20.37]She took off her wig  said  how do I look
[00:23.87]I's high flyin'  bare naked out the window
[00:34.58]Well sometimes I might get drunk
[00:37.03]Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk
[00:39.84]Don't hurt me none  don't hurt my pride
[00:41.88]'Cause I got my little lady right by my side
[00:45.44]She's a tryin' a hide pretendin' she don't know me
[00:57.03]I's out there paintin' on the old wood shed
[00:59.65]When a can a black paint it fell on my head
[01:04.09]I went down to scrub and rub
[01:06.03]But I had to sit in back off the tub
[01:09.47]Cost a quarter half price
[01:17.83]Well my telephone rang it would not stop
[01:20.02]It's President Kennedy callin' me up
[01:24.08]He said "My friend Bob what do we need
[01:26.02]To make the country grow "
[01:27.09]I said "My friend John Brigitte Bardot
[01:29.34]Anita Ekberg
[01:33.46]Sophia Loren country will grow"
[01:45.99]Well I got a woman five feet short
[01:48.74]She yells and hollers an' squeals an' snorts
[01:52.74]She tickles my nose pats me on my head
[01:55.30]Blows me over and kicks me out of bed
[01:58.55]She's a man eater meat grinder  bad looser
[02:11.31]Oh there ain't no use in me workin' all the time
[02:14.11]I got a woman who works herself blind
[02:16.43]Works up to her britches up to her neck
[02:18.68]Writes me letters and sends me checks
[02:21.06]She's a humdinger folk singer
[02:35.76]Late one day in the middle of the week
[02:38.33]Eyes were closed I was half asleep
[02:40.83]I chased me a woman up the hill
[02:43.27]Right in the middle of an air drill
[02:46.37]I jumped a fallout shelter
[02:48.81]I jumped the string bean
[02:51.12]I jumped the TV dinner I jumped the shot gun
[03:00.63]Now the man on the stand he wants my vote
[03:02.94]He's a runnin' for office on the ballot note
[03:05.44]He's out there preachin' in front of the steeple
[03:07.89]Tellin' me he loves all kinds a people
[03:11.38]He's eatin' bagels he's eatin' pizza
[03:16.08]He's eatin' chitins
[03:26.01]Oh set me down on a television floor
[03:28.83]I'll flip the channel to number four
[03:31.33]Out of the shower comes a football man
[03:33.40]With a bottle of oil in his hand greasy kid stuff
[03:41.35]What I wanna know Mr Football Man is
[03:43.48]What do you do about Willy Mays
[03:47.60]Martin Luther King Olatunji oh
[04:00.05]Well the funniest woman I ever seen
[04:02.50]Was the great granddaughter of Mr Clean
[04:06.06]She takes about fifteen baths a day
[04:08.32]Wants me to grow a mustache on my face she's insane
[04:20.00]Well ask me why I'm drunk all the time
[04:22.75]It levels my head and eases my mind
[04:27.19]I just walk along and stroll and sing
[04:29.76]I see better days and I do better things
[04:33.15]I catch dinosaurs make love to Elizabeth Taylor
[04:37.79]Catch hell from Richard Burton