[00:04.61]I was riding on the Mayflower
[00:06.98]When I thought I spied some land
[00:31.27]I yelled for Captain Arab
[00:33.31]I have yuh understand
[00:35.36]Who came running to the deck
[00:37.46]Said, "Boys, forget the whale
[00:40.05]Look on over yonder
[00:41.81]Cut the engines
[00:43.33]Change the sail
[00:45.12]Haul on the bowline"
[00:47.22]We sang that melody
[00:49.14]Like all tough sailors do
[00:51.23]When they are far away at sea
[00:53.45]
[00:58.11]"I think I'll call it America"
[01:00.36]I said as we hit land
[01:02.57]I took a deep breath
[01:04.69]I fell down, I could not stand
[01:07.36]Captain Arab he started
[01:09.70]Writing up some deeds
[01:11.83]He said, "Let's set up a fort
[01:14.05]And start buying the place with beads"
[01:16.42]Just then this cop comes down the street
[01:19.06]Crazy as a loon
[01:20.83]He throw us all in jail
[01:23.40]For carryin' harpoons
[01:25.57]
[01:29.69]Ah me I busted out
[01:32.09]Don't even ask me how
[01:34.37]I went to get some help
[01:36.62]I walked by a Guernsey cow
[01:38.90]Who directed me down
[01:40.92]To the Bowery slums
[01:43.32]Where people carried signs around
[01:46.06]Saying, "Ban the bums"
[01:48.05]I jumped right into line
[01:50.10]Sayin', "I hope that I'm not late"
[01:52.57]When I realized I hadn't eaten
[01:54.58]For five days straight
[01:57.04]
[02:01.76]I went into a restaurant
[02:03.84]Lookin' for the cook
[02:06.28]I told them I was the editor
[02:08.58]Of a famous etiquette book
[02:10.94]The waitress he was handsome
[02:13.02]He wore a powder blue cape
[02:15.47]I ordered some suzette, I said
[02:17.68]"Could you please make that crepe"
[02:20.17]Just then the whole kitchen exploded
[02:23.10]From boilin' fat
[02:24.52]Food was flying everywhere
[02:26.86]And I left without my hat
[02:28.72]
[02:33.45]Now, I didn't mean to be nosy
[02:35.48]But I went into a bank
[02:37.94]To get some bail for Arab
[02:40.22]And all the boys back in the tank
[02:42.71]They asked me for some collateral
[02:44.75]And I pulled down my pants
[02:47.15]They threw me in the alley
[02:49.14]When up comes this girl from France
[02:51.73]Who invited me to her house
[02:53.98]I went, but she had a friend
[02:56.24]Who knocked me out
[02:57.63]And robbed my boots
[02:58.59]And I was on the street again
[03:00.46]
[03:05.40]Well, I rapped upon a house
[03:07.33]With the U.S. flag upon display
[03:09.78]I said, "Could you help me out
[03:12.03]I got some friends down the way"
[03:14.43]The man says, "Get out of here
[03:16.61]I'll tear you limb from limb"
[03:18.83]I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too"
[03:21.17]He said, "You're not Him
[03:23.93]Get out of here before I break your bones
[03:26.61]I ain't your pop"
[03:28.08]I decided to have him arrested
[03:30.26]And I went looking for a cop
[03:32.13]
[03:41.55]I ran right outside
[03:43.84]And I hopped inside a cab
[03:46.08]I went out the other door
[03:48.39]This Englishman said, "Fab"
[03:50.69]As he saw me leap a hot dog stand
[03:53.25]And a chariot that stood
[03:55.37]Parked across from a building
[03:57.49]Advertising brotherhood
[04:00.04]I ran right through the front door
[04:02.04]Like a hobo sailor does
[04:04.28]But it was just a funeral parlor
[04:06.48]And the man asked me who I was
[04:08.79]
[04:13.59]I repeated that my friends
[04:15.49]Were all in jail, with a sigh
[04:17.89]He gave me his card
[04:20.23]He said, "Call me if they die"
[04:22.56]I shook his hand and said goodbye
[04:25.09]Ran out to the street
[04:27.03]When a bowling ball came down the road
[04:29.45]And knocked me off my feet
[04:31.61]A pay phone was ringing
[04:33.85]It just about blew my mind
[04:36.10]When I picked it up and said hello
[04:38.42]This foot came through the line
[04:40.41]
[04:47.67]Well, by this time I was fed up
[04:49.79]At tryin' to make a stab
[04:52.05]At bringin' back any help
[04:54.27]For my friends and Captain Arab
[04:56.65]I decided to flip a coin
[04:58.60]Like either heads or tails
[05:01.22]Would let me know if I should go
[05:03.69]Back to ship or back to jail
[05:05.98]So I hocked my sailor suit
[05:08.13]And I got a coin to flip
[05:10.40]It came up tails
[05:11.98]It rhymed with sails
[05:12.80]So I made it back to the ship
[05:14.84]
[05:19.28]Well, I got back and took
[05:21.48]The parkin' ticket off the mast
[05:23.66]I was ripping it to shreds
[05:25.82]When this coastguard boat went past
[05:28.20]They asked me my name
[05:30.40]And I said, "Captain Kidd"
[05:32.85]They believed me but
[05:34.05]They wanted to know
[05:35.16]What exactly that I did
[05:37.29]I said for the Pope of Eruke
[05:40.26]I was employed
[05:41.96]They let me go right away
[05:44.27]They were very paranoid
[05:46.22]
[05:51.64]Well, the last I heard of Arab
[05:54.16]He was stuck on a whale
[05:56.57]That was married to the deputy
[05:58.96]Sheriff of the jail
[06:01.17]But the funniest thing was
[06:03.49]When I was leavin' the bay
[06:05.65]I saw three ships a-sailin'
[06:07.94]They were all heading my way
[06:10.52]I asked the captain what his name was
[06:12.66]And how come he didn't drive a truck
[06:14.83]He said his name was Columbus
[06:17.27]I just said, "Good luck."
[06:19.45]
[06:22.92]