EDGY ROCKER GUY
I never open up your door
I never shower you with praise
When you call or text my phone
I don't reply to you for days
I can't hold down a job
I failed my GED
I'm angry then indifferent
And babe, oooh babe
That's why you love me
That's why you love me
EDGY BRITISH GUY
I take you out to awesome meals
But can't afford to pay the checks
I will pledge eternal love
Then leave your place right after sex
I always say I'm booked
In truth, I'm usually free
I canceled on your birthday
And babe, oooh babe
That's why you love me
EDGY ROCKER GUY
That's why you love me
BOTH
That's why you love me
EDGY BRITISH GUY
You love how I keep you guessing
If I'm interested or not
EDGY ROCKER GUY
And how I tell your mother
That she is super-fricking hot!
BOTH
How I cover up my lies
By sayin' I'm hangin' with the guys
EDGY ROCKER GUY
No one'll treat you half as nice
EDGY BRITISH GUY
I only cheated on you twice
BOTH
You've got no choice
You know you're hooked
EDGY ROCKER GUY
You're hooked!
EDGY BRITISH GUY
You gave it up on our first date
EDGY ROCKER GUY
Oh yeah!
EDGY BRITISH GUY
After I told you you looked fine
But had to lose a little weight
EDGY ROCKER GUY
Only ten pounds!
BOTH
I'm bound to disappoint
I'm sure that you'd agree
EDGY BRITISH GUY
I'm snotty and neglectful
EDGY ROCKER GUY
I'm nasty and self-serving
BOTH
I've got a giant *****!
And babe, oooh, babe
That's why you love me
EDGY BRITISH GUY
Yeah yeah yeah!
BOTH
That's why you love me
EDGY ROCKER GUY
Oh yeah!
BOTH
That's why you love me
That's why you love me!