[00:00.0]AARON
[00:00.26]Should we continue playing Jewish Geography? 'Cause I can give you like ten more names
[00:03.61]CASEY
[00:03.79]We can! I am good at this game
[00:05.82]Even if I'm not a Jew
[00:07.1]JEWISH CHORUS
[00:08.54]Oy vey! Oy vey!
[00:16.77]AARON
[00:17.40]I'm sorry, what did you just say?
[00:18.97]CASEY
[00:19.80]I said, I'm not a Jew
[00:21.13]JEWISH CHORUS
[00:22.52]Oy vey! Oy vey!
[00:28.30]JEWISH CHORUS
[00:29.27]This isn't the girl for you
[00:35.78]This isn't the girl for you
[00:42.41]Dai dai dai dai dai dai
[00:44.73]Dai dai
[00:45.42]Dai dai dai dai dai dai
[00:48.1]Dai
[00:50.41]This isn't the girl for you
[00:58.94]GRANDMA IDA
[00:59.69]Aaron, bubalah!!
[01:02.0]AARON
[01:02.2]Grandma Ida, is that you?
[01:03.7]GRANDMA IDA
[01:03.53]That's right!
[01:04.89]AARON
[01:05.10]What are you doing here? You're dead
[01:07.28]I was busy praying
[01:08.81]At my temple in the sky
[01:10.13]When I got an urgent message
[01:12.20]That came straight from adonai!
[01:13.75]He said, "Ida, it's your grandson
[01:15.67]He is acting out of line
[01:17.17]'Cause he's dating Casey Clark
[01:18.98]Instead of dating Sarah Stein!"
[01:20.63]I begged, "Yahweh, send me to him!
[01:22.47]I have wisdom to impart!
[01:24.12]Plus my grandson Aaron loves me,
[01:25.85]And he'd never break my heart
[01:27.53]I can make the pischer understand
[01:29.62]The error of his ways
[01:31.5]Even I once schtupped a schvartza
[01:32.96]It was just a passing phase!"
[01:34.69]JEWISH CHORUS
[01:34.84]Eh, the schvartza was a phase!
[01:36.8]GRANDMA IDA
[01:36.50]So listen to me, boychik
[01:38.0]You're a mensch who's been endowed
[01:39.77]With brains and looks and talent -
[01:41.54]I could plotz, I'm just so proud!
[01:43.32]But though I cut you slack
[01:44.74]When you did not return my calls,
[01:46.79]If you wed this little tsatskeleh
[01:48.59]I'll break your matzah *****!
[01:50.22]JEWISH CHORUS
[01:50.27]This isn't the girl for you! - Oy oy oy!
[01:53.79]This isn't the girl for you! - a goy goy goy!
[01:57.37]GRANDMA IDA
[01:57.51]She considers jesus boss
[01:58.8]And thinks you nailed him to the cross!
[02:00.00]GRANDMA IDA & JEWISH CHORUS
[02:01.27]This isn't the girl for you!
[02:05.82]Not for you, not for you - hey!
[02:08.97]Not for you - hey!
[02:10.49]She's not for you!
[02:11.61]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[02:11.92]Aaron?
[02:12.80]AARON
[02:13.60]Whoa! And who are you?
[02:15.60]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[02:15.81]I'm Casey's father!Her very disapproving,
[02:18.83]very Christian father! And Aaron
[02:22.65]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[02:23.8]You are ruining my daughter's life
[02:26.41]Never thought my baby'd be a hebrew's wife
[02:30.6]Why would people called
[02:31.85]"The chosen ones"
[02:32.9]Choose to wear strange hats
[02:34.81]And circumcise their sons?
[02:36.70]CHURCH CHOIR & GRANDMA IDA
[02:37.6]Circumcise their sons!
[02:38.72]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[02:39.3]You don't know the holy trinity
[02:41.57]Or the joy felt when you trim a christmas tree
[02:45.57]And since you cannot sing "The first noel"
[02:48.96]Jesus christ won't save you
[02:50.64]From the gates of hell
[02:52.44]CHURCH CHOIR & GRANDMA IDA
[02:52.61]You'll go straight to hell!
[02:54.36] Hallelujah!
[02:55.72]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[02:55.90]Every angel sings for the easter bunny
[02:59.22]And the eggs he brings
[03:01.13]CHURCH CHOIR & GRANDMA IDA
[03:01.45]Hallelujah!
[03:02.64]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[03:02.80]Christians pass the test
[03:04.40]We are not semitic
[03:06.34]Therefore we are blessed
[03:07.65]EVERYONE
[03:08.4]This isn't the girl for you
[03:10.16]CHURCH CHOIR
[03:10.36]Ahhh!
[03:11.48]EVERYONE
[03:11.86]This isn't the girl for you
[03:13.77]CHURCH CHOIR
[03:13.91]Ahhh!
[03:15.2]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[03:15.10]How can I stay cool and calm
[03:16.71]When you don't praise the virgin mom?
[03:18.72]EVERYONE
[03:19.26]This isn't the girl for you!
[03:23.45]AARON'S FUTURE SON
[03:23.67]Yo, Dad, whatsup?
[03:25.68]AARON
[03:26.10]Uhh, I'm sorry - "Dad"?
[03:28.18]AARON'S FUTURE SON
[03:28.24]What, you don't recognize me?
[03:29.81]I'm yours and Casey's future son
[03:31.68]And I'm, like, beyond messed up So - thanks for that
[03:34.21]You got me so confused
[03:36.72]I don't know which way to choose
[03:38.27]Do I celebrate christmas or chanukan?
[03:40.29]Either way, I lose
[03:41.63]'Cause I don't know what to believe in
[03:43.38]With the mixed signals I'm receivin'
[03:44.97]Now, I don't fit into a box
[03:46.44]I'm strung out with doubt and I can't detox
[03:48.38]Should I live life for the moment?
[03:49.99]Or should I kneel and repent?
[03:51.63]Do I believe the messiah's comin'
[03:53.53]Or came and went?
[03:54.93]I'm stuck and It's ****in' depressin'
[03:57.11]From all this perpetual guessin'
[03:58.54]Don't mean to be preachy
[03:59.70]But like nietzsche the nihilist
[04:01.68]I'm thinkin' that God don't exist
[04:03.65]Do I cry at schindler's list
[04:04.92]Or weep at the passion of the Christ?!
[04:06.53] Both!
[04:06.94]Should I shop retail
[04:07.93]When there is no sale
[04:08.66]Or kvetch that It's all overpriced?!
[04:10.18]I'm gonna haunt you like a poltergeist!
[04:12.13]My whole identity you're sacrieiced!
[04:13.83]EVERYONE
[04:14.0]Why didn't you use a ******?!
[04:15.73]GRANDMA IDA
[04:16.8]Aaron
[04:28.81]EVERYONE
[04:32.7]This isn't the girl for you!
[04:34.20]AARON'S FUTURE SON
[04:34.42]Not not for you!
[04:35.46]EVERYONE
[04:35.65]This isn't the girl for you!
[04:37.72]AARON'S FUTURE SON
[04:37.89]So true! So true!
[04:38.66]Six thousand years of history
[04:40.48]Are restin' on your head
[04:41.94]GRANDMA IDA
[04:42.81]If you married her
[04:42.86]You'd kill me were I not already dead!
[04:45.32]CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER
[04:45.49]I won't have my grandkids raised on bagels,
[04:47.42]Lox and cream cheese spread
[04:49.13]GRANDMA IDA & CASEY'S Christian father
[04:49.38]Now let's review
[04:50.11]AARON'S FUTURE SON
[04:50.27]She's not a jew!
[04:51.11]EVERYONE
[04:51.28]So this isn't the girl for you!
[04:56.96]GRANDMA IDA
[04:57.12]A shayna maydl but she doesn't spin the dreidel!
[04:59.67]EVERYONE
[05:00.26]So this isn't the girl for you! Hey!