| [00:00.0] |
AARON |
| [00:00.26] |
Should we continue playing Jewish Geography? 'Cause I can give you like ten more names |
| [00:03.61] |
CASEY |
| [00:03.79] |
We can! I am good at this game |
| [00:05.82] |
Even if I'm not a Jew |
| [00:07.1] |
JEWISH CHORUS |
| [00:08.54] |
Oy vey! Oy vey! |
| [00:16.77] |
AARON |
| [00:17.40] |
I'm sorry, what did you just say? |
| [00:18.97] |
CASEY |
| [00:19.80] |
I said, I'm not a Jew |
| [00:21.13] |
JEWISH CHORUS |
| [00:22.52] |
Oy vey! Oy vey! |
| [00:28.30] |
JEWISH CHORUS |
| [00:29.27] |
This isn't the girl for you |
| [00:35.78] |
This isn't the girl for you |
| [00:42.41] |
Dai dai dai dai dai dai |
| [00:44.73] |
Dai dai |
| [00:45.42] |
Dai dai dai dai dai dai |
| [00:48.1] |
Dai |
| [00:50.41] |
This isn't the girl for you |
| [00:58.94] |
GRANDMA IDA |
| [00:59.69] |
Aaron, bubalah!! |
| [01:02.0] |
AARON |
| [01:02.2] |
Grandma Ida, is that you? |
| [01:03.7] |
GRANDMA IDA |
| [01:03.53] |
That's right! |
| [01:04.89] |
AARON |
| [01:05.10] |
What are you doing here? You're dead |
| [01:07.28] |
I was busy praying |
| [01:08.81] |
At my temple in the sky |
| [01:10.13] |
When I got an urgent message |
| [01:12.20] |
That came straight from adonai! |
| [01:13.75] |
He said, "Ida, it's your grandson |
| [01:15.67] |
He is acting out of line |
| [01:17.17] |
'Cause he's dating Casey Clark |
| [01:18.98] |
Instead of dating Sarah Stein!" |
| [01:20.63] |
I begged, "Yahweh, send me to him! |
| [01:22.47] |
I have wisdom to impart! |
| [01:24.12] |
Plus my grandson Aaron loves me, |
| [01:25.85] |
And he'd never break my heart |
| [01:27.53] |
I can make the pischer understand |
| [01:29.62] |
The error of his ways |
| [01:31.5] |
Even I once schtupped a schvartza |
| [01:32.96] |
It was just a passing phase!" |
| [01:34.69] |
JEWISH CHORUS |
| [01:34.84] |
Eh, the schvartza was a phase! |
| [01:36.8] |
GRANDMA IDA |
| [01:36.50] |
So listen to me, boychik |
| [01:38.0] |
You're a mensch who's been endowed |
| [01:39.77] |
With brains and looks and talent - |
| [01:41.54] |
I could plotz, I'm just so proud! |
| [01:43.32] |
But though I cut you slack |
| [01:44.74] |
When you did not return my calls, |
| [01:46.79] |
If you wed this little tsatskeleh |
| [01:48.59] |
I'll break your matzah *****! |
| [01:50.22] |
JEWISH CHORUS |
| [01:50.27] |
This isn't the girl for you! - Oy oy oy! |
| [01:53.79] |
This isn't the girl for you! - a goy goy goy! |
| [01:57.37] |
GRANDMA IDA |
| [01:57.51] |
She considers jesus boss |
| [01:58.8] |
And thinks you nailed him to the cross! |
| [02:00.00] |
GRANDMA IDA & JEWISH CHORUS |
| [02:01.27] |
This isn't the girl for you! |
| [02:05.82] |
Not for you, not for you - hey! |
| [02:08.97] |
Not for you - hey! |
| [02:10.49] |
She's not for you! |
| [02:11.61] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [02:11.92] |
Aaron? |
| [02:12.80] |
AARON |
| [02:13.60] |
Whoa! And who are you? |
| [02:15.60] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [02:15.81] |
I'm Casey's father!Her very disapproving, |
| [02:18.83] |
very Christian father! And Aaron |
| [02:22.65] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [02:23.8] |
You are ruining my daughter's life |
| [02:26.41] |
Never thought my baby'd be a hebrew's wife |
| [02:30.6] |
Why would people called |
| [02:31.85] |
"The chosen ones" |
| [02:32.9] |
Choose to wear strange hats |
| [02:34.81] |
And circumcise their sons? |
| [02:36.70] |
CHURCH CHOIR & GRANDMA IDA |
| [02:37.6] |
Circumcise their sons! |
| [02:38.72] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [02:39.3] |
You don't know the holy trinity |
| [02:41.57] |
Or the joy felt when you trim a christmas tree |
| [02:45.57] |
And since you cannot sing "The first noel" |
| [02:48.96] |
Jesus christ won't save you |
| [02:50.64] |
From the gates of hell |
| [02:52.44] |
CHURCH CHOIR & GRANDMA IDA |
| [02:52.61] |
You'll go straight to hell! |
| [02:54.36] |
Hallelujah! |
| [02:55.72] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [02:55.90] |
Every angel sings for the easter bunny |
| [02:59.22] |
And the eggs he brings |
| [03:01.13] |
CHURCH CHOIR & GRANDMA IDA |
| [03:01.45] |
Hallelujah! |
| [03:02.64] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [03:02.80] |
Christians pass the test |
| [03:04.40] |
We are not semitic |
| [03:06.34] |
Therefore we are blessed |
| [03:07.65] |
EVERYONE |
| [03:08.4] |
This isn't the girl for you |
| [03:10.16] |
CHURCH CHOIR |
| [03:10.36] |
Ahhh! |
| [03:11.48] |
EVERYONE |
| [03:11.86] |
This isn't the girl for you |
| [03:13.77] |
CHURCH CHOIR |
| [03:13.91] |
Ahhh! |
| [03:15.2] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [03:15.10] |
How can I stay cool and calm |
| [03:16.71] |
When you don't praise the virgin mom? |
| [03:18.72] |
EVERYONE |
| [03:19.26] |
This isn't the girl for you! |
| [03:23.45] |
AARON'S FUTURE SON |
| [03:23.67] |
Yo, Dad, whatsup? |
| [03:25.68] |
AARON |
| [03:26.10] |
Uhh, I'm sorry - "Dad"? |
| [03:28.18] |
AARON'S FUTURE SON |
| [03:28.24] |
What, you don't recognize me? |
| [03:29.81] |
I'm yours and Casey's future son |
| [03:31.68] |
And I'm, like, beyond messed up So - thanks for that |
| [03:34.21] |
You got me so confused |
| [03:36.72] |
I don't know which way to choose |
| [03:38.27] |
Do I celebrate christmas or chanukan? |
| [03:40.29] |
Either way, I lose |
| [03:41.63] |
'Cause I don't know what to believe in |
| [03:43.38] |
With the mixed signals I'm receivin' |
| [03:44.97] |
Now, I don't fit into a box |
| [03:46.44] |
I'm strung out with doubt and I can't detox |
| [03:48.38] |
Should I live life for the moment? |
| [03:49.99] |
Or should I kneel and repent? |
| [03:51.63] |
Do I believe the messiah's comin' |
| [03:53.53] |
Or came and went? |
| [03:54.93] |
I'm stuck and It's ****in' depressin' |
| [03:57.11] |
From all this perpetual guessin' |
| [03:58.54] |
Don't mean to be preachy |
| [03:59.70] |
But like nietzsche the nihilist |
| [04:01.68] |
I'm thinkin' that God don't exist |
| [04:03.65] |
Do I cry at schindler's list |
| [04:04.92] |
Or weep at the passion of the Christ?! |
| [04:06.53] |
Both! |
| [04:06.94] |
Should I shop retail |
| [04:07.93] |
When there is no sale |
| [04:08.66] |
Or kvetch that It's all overpriced?! |
| [04:10.18] |
I'm gonna haunt you like a poltergeist! |
| [04:12.13] |
My whole identity you're sacrieiced! |
| [04:13.83] |
EVERYONE |
| [04:14.0] |
Why didn't you use a ******?! |
| [04:15.73] |
GRANDMA IDA |
| [04:16.8] |
Aaron |
| [04:28.81] |
EVERYONE |
| [04:32.7] |
This isn't the girl for you! |
| [04:34.20] |
AARON'S FUTURE SON |
| [04:34.42] |
Not not for you! |
| [04:35.46] |
EVERYONE |
| [04:35.65] |
This isn't the girl for you! |
| [04:37.72] |
AARON'S FUTURE SON |
| [04:37.89] |
So true! So true! |
| [04:38.66] |
Six thousand years of history |
| [04:40.48] |
Are restin' on your head |
| [04:41.94] |
GRANDMA IDA |
| [04:42.81] |
If you married her |
| [04:42.86] |
You'd kill me were I not already dead! |
| [04:45.32] |
CASEY'S CHRISTIAN FATHER |
| [04:45.49] |
I won't have my grandkids raised on bagels, |
| [04:47.42] |
Lox and cream cheese spread |
| [04:49.13] |
GRANDMA IDA & CASEY'S Christian father |
| [04:49.38] |
Now let's review |
| [04:50.11] |
AARON'S FUTURE SON |
| [04:50.27] |
She's not a jew! |
| [04:51.11] |
EVERYONE |
| [04:51.28] |
So this isn't the girl for you! |
| [04:56.96] |
GRANDMA IDA |
| [04:57.12] |
A shayna maydl but she doesn't spin the dreidel! |
| [04:59.67] |
EVERYONE |
| [05:00.26] |
So this isn't the girl for you! Hey! |