Gather round, ye children
To hear the tale so sweet
Of a man who dared to race machines
With nothing but his feet

With hair of auburn beauty
A hero dressed in jeans
He's fighting for America
Marshall
Versus the machines
Hah
Doom-ba-da-dee-dee-dee-dee-fleegeedoo-flim-flam-doo-da-deegedeedoo

As Marshall ran with all his might
And passed his friend, Christine

Hey, Christine

He thought of all the times that he had
Beaten the machine

He triumphed over Pitfall
He vanquished the alarm
He brought the jukebox back to life
With his Fonzarelli arm

Marshall
Versus the machines
Yah
Move along
Yah
Move along
Yah

Our hero's strength was fading fast
Just as the light turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnned green
He then thought back to all the times
He'd lost to a machine

The cable box's fearsome bite
The stapler's mighty sting
The cable box's bite again

Getting too tired
To sing