A fine romance with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend, this is
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance with no clinches
A fine romance with no pinches
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France
I haven't got a chance, this is a fine romance
A fine romance, my good woman
My strong, aged-in-the-wood woman
You never give the orchids, I send a glance
No, you like cactus plants, this is a fine romance